Boyfriend
by Molly Raesly
Summary: Potter was going to say that he wasn't my boyfriend. I couldn't let him do that. For the love of Merlin, I could not let him do that. I had to stop him. He couldn't tell her the truth. So I did the only conceivable thing I could think of. I kissed him.
1. Sisterly Affection

_A/N: For Charmaine. May we both find our own boys to love us back._

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**Boyfriend**

by Molly Raesly

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**Chapter One**

**Sisterly Affection**

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_If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. ~Linda Sunshine_

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"Lily, did you steal my hairdryer?"

I squinted at the screeching sound and shut my eyes tighter as I pretended it was just part of what had previously been a very good dream.

"Lily, I know it was you! You always steal my stuff!"

Not now. I growled viscerally as I rolled over to my other side and forced my pillow over my ears to block out the noise. I tried to imagine myself in a more peaceful setting. It would be warm, so warm that the sunshine would melt on my body and cover me in its glorious love. I smiled as I surrounded myself with the gentle serenity of pounding waves. I let out a sigh as I pretended to feel the cool sand in my toes. My eyelids drooped down lazily.

"Lily!"

My pillow was viciously forced from my hands. "Grrr-aphh!" I yelled out in protest.

"Get up! Vernon's coming to pick me up in a half an hour, and my hair's still wet!"

"Put it up," I grumbled grouchily and rolled over again to avoid her.

She "humphed" loudly, and I felt her weight leave my bed.

Sweet success! I grinned in triumph and allowed myself to succumb to my slumber once again.

"Get up!" she commanded me.

I refused to move. My bed was just too lovely and warm and safe. I sighed as I savored the scent of my sheets and ignored my sister's presence, something she was also very adept at doing - unless, of course, she wanted something.

"Lily!" she screeched.

I heard the sound of my yellow curtains being yanked open and immediately moved to block the light out with my hand. It was too early and too bright.

"Lily!" she called out again.

"Shh," I attempted to placate her. If I closed my eyes even tighter, it was almost dark again. "It's sleep time."

"Lily, get up now," she ordered. Her voice was firm. It made her sound silly.

I held onto my sheets tightly and refused to move.

"Fine," she huffed. "If you're going to be such a brat about it, I'll just force you to get up."

Then, suddenly, she was poking and prodding me everywhere. Her bony fingers stung as she attacked me.

I slapped her hands away deliriously. "Go away," I groaned. "Come back tomorrow."

Her fingers never relented. I squirmed in my sheets.

"Go away," I repeated petulantly.

"Not until you give me back my hairdryer," she insisted as she gave me a sharp prod in the side.

"Ow!" I whined in pain. "Leave me alone. I don't have your bloody hairdryer!"

"Yes, you do. Now get up!"

She started shaking me, and that's when I had no choice but to retaliate. I used my fists, elbows, and legs to punch, kick, and jab anything I came into contact with.

Petunia screamed shrilly. "God, Lily! Stop it! You're hurting me!"

"Get out of my room!" I demanded. My voice still sounded sleepy. I pulled my overlarge T-shirt down so at least I could seem slightly more threatening without my "Potion-of-the-Week" underwear showing.

"No. You need to get up." And with that, she grabbed my sheets, yanked as hard as she could with her frail, freakishly bony arms, and pulled them off of my protesting body.

I looked around in a daze. I was on the floor.

"Petunia!" I thundered.

"Mom and Dad aren't here!" she informed me quickly as she tried to back away subtly. "They're not here, so you can't go running to them and feed them the innocent baby sister garbage you usually give them."

"Good," I retorted through my teeth. "Now there won't be any other witnesses to your murder."

Petunia simply rolled her eyes in that snobbish way she did ever since she got her first training bra. "Don't be so dramatic, Lily," she told me in a condescending tone. "Anyway," she continued, "I need you to give me back my hairdryer because I'll die if Vernon sees my looking less than perfect."

My jaw dropped. There were just too many ways to insult my sister in this glorious moment in time. I could not pick just one. Staring at her incredulously, I wondered how she could even bring herself to get out of bed every morning, let alone dragging me along with her.

"You'll catch hepatitis if you keep your mouth open for that long," Petunia snapped snottily.

She would know. "It's flies," I corrected her.

She shrugged. "_Tomato_, tomato."

I stared at her in awe before grabbing my bed for support as I struggled to get onto my feet.

"Good, you're up," she commented coolly.

"Yeah, and I'm going back to bed. Good night. Leave," I told her.

She grabbed my arm and wrapped her fingers around it like a shackle that prevented me from plopping down onto my beautiful bed. "Not until you give me back my hairdryer."

I yanked my arm out of her grasp angrily. "I already told you I don't have it! I can just dry my hair magically, remember? I don't need hairdryers anymore."

"Oh, that's right. You're a freak," she recalled lightly, as though she had really just remembered her sister was a witch.

"The politically correct term is magically inclined," I shot back cheekily.

"I know a freak when I see one," she assured me.

I was just about to ask her if she had looked in a mirror lately when Petunia remembered that she had another purpose in life besides making mine miserable. Herself.

"Well, if you don't have my hairdryer, where is it? I checked Mom's room already and all the bathrooms. This is the only other place it could be."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. If I could get back in bed in the next two minutes, I could manage to get some more coveted sleep. If not, I would be up for the rest of the day. "Did you check under your bed?" I asked dully.

"Oh, crap," she realized as she rushed out of my room.

Rolling my eyes, I sauntered back to my bed. Not ten seconds later I heard the soft humming of the hair dryer from across the hall. I chuckled quietly to myself as I grabbed my pillow from the floor and placed it behind my head. My eyes closed happily as I hugged the pillow to my chest. I had made it just before the two minutes were over. I imagined my previous dream. The bananas were just about to join the monkeys in a tap-dance routine.

"LILY!"

Startled, I flipped off of my bed. I looked around again. Great, I really hadn't been spending enough time with the floor. The carpeting was lovely and very, very hard. I rubbed my butt gingerly.

"Lily!" she said again.

I looked up. My wonderful sister was looming over me with expectancy. Merlin forbid if I didn't spend my life catering to Petunia's every fancy.

"What?" I croaked. I made a mental note to change the lock on my door. Petunia didn't need a wand. She had bobby pins. "What could you possibly want now?" I grumbled as I scrunched my red bed head with my fingers.

"I need to borrow one of your skirts," Petunia told me frantically. I loved that it did not come out as a question. Her eyes were wide with distress. It had been such an eventful morning for her. I imagined torturing your younger sister was quite stressful. "I spilled water on mine, and now it's all wet," she explained as she forced my closet open and pulled out my clothes frenetically.

"It's just water," I cajoled her. "There's not even a stain on your skirt."

"But it's all wet!" Petunia insisted as she placed one of my pairs of pants against her lower body.

"Why didn't you just dry it with your hairdryer?"

Petunia shrugged as she pressed another pair of my pants up against her. "Ah, well," she sighed. "It's too late now." She looked at herself in my mirror before shaking her head and throwing the pants down onto my floor.

My mouth agape, I watched silently as she proceeded to do this with ten more items.

"God, Lily, don't you have anything decent to wear?"

"I like my clothes," I defended. I valued comfort, but most of my clothes were also stylish. I enjoyed coming home to a full wardrobe. Wearing a uniform everyday was practical and a real timesaver, but it did make things rather dull. My summer clothes were my way of getting the spontaneity out of my system. "Besides, most of my clothes are your hand-me-downs," I reminded Petunia as I watched her cast aside a pair of shorts she had given me a year ago because she deemed them too long.

"And they looked much better on me," commented Petunia as she pulled out a light pink skirt from the back of my closet.

I wrinkled my nose. I never wore that skirt. Petunia had given it to me last year for my birthday, but it was way too short for my liking. I couldn't even bend over without people catching a glimpse of my chamber of secrets.

"Perfect," Petunia cooed happily.

"Figures," I muttered under my breath. I grabbed my robe and then walked toward the door. "I'm going to go take a shower," I announced. "Clean this up while I'm gone," I told her as I gestured to the mountain of clothes lying on the floor.

Petunia gave me a dirty look that I childishly responded to by sticking out my tongue.

"Whatever, freak."

I grinned ironically at her term of endearment before making my way to the bathroom. I took my time in the shower. I loved the therapeutic pounding of water against my back and the scent of my strawberry shampoo. I had been using the same kind ever since I was little because my mum said it matched my hair.

I was the only redhead in my entire family. My dad said he had a great Aunt once who was a redhead. I guess I just hit the genetic lottery, and not just with the whole hair thing. I laughed as I took my wand out to magically shave my legs and then dry my hair in a matter of seconds. I really was a freak.

Well, after 19 years, Petunia was bound to be right about something.

I examined myself closely in the mirror. A light dusting of freckles was forming on my face from the sun exposure I had received so far this summer. My hair, unlike Petunia's bone straight blonde locks, had a bit of a wave to it. My eyes were a very bright green. Petunia said I looked like I was always celebrating Christmas. She was right, of course; I didn't blend in. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I was just not normal.

I was still getting used to it.

I sighed and looked away. I might be a witch, but at least I didn't have freakishly bony fingers.

I secured my robe around my body and marched back into my room. Petunia was gone, thank Merlin, and, as could be expected, my clothes were still strewn all over the floor. I sighed as I leaned over to pick up a pair of pants.

"Bloody sister," I grumbled when I finally returned my last article of clothing to its proper place. I quickly slipped into a white pair of shorts and a black tank top. I didn't want to fuss with anything too elaborate today. My entire day was foiled with my unsavory wakeup call. Really, the way you woke up could affect your entire day. Still, I added a touch of eyeliner and mascara just in case the day would not turn out to be a total bust.

I made my bed next and placed all of my pillows neatly over my mint green quilt in a specific pattern. I went to retrieve my laundry from the dryer and was about midway through with folding all of it when I heard a tapping noise against my window. Excited, I rushed to let Calypso, my beautiful dark gray owl, inside. "Hey, Callie," I greeted her as she nipped my finger affectionately.

"I missed you too, girl," I laughed when she hooted happily at me. She held out her leg dutifully, and I rushed to untie the proffered letter before she flew off to her food bowl. I tore open the letter anxiously and grinned widely when I recognized the handwriting.

_Lils!_

_Oh Merlin, Lily! If I didn't love you as much as I do and I wasn't as good of a friend to not leave you all alone with the Marauders and their disgusting harangue of swooning girls for a year, I would never leave Spain. The men, Lily! The men! They're not boys here. They're men._

_There's this one bloke who works at the inn we're staying at. He wears these tight black pantalones, and, Merlin, I think I might be in love with him. He called me something in Spanish last night after we snogged each other senseless. I have no idea what it meant, but it sounded attractive. I'm really going to miss him…._

_Sorry, Lily! I know I'm being ridiculously annoying. Don't worry, I haven't allowed any of the other girls in our year to take over my body! I still don't even like jam! It's just that it's been so long since I've met anyone who I haven't known since I was eleven-years-old. It's wonderful. You would love it. You should have yourself a summer fling._

_Anyways, teenage romance aside because I'm fairly certain I want to gag myself right now, Spain is amazing. My mum's in love with all the wizarding sites, and my dad can't get enough of the muggle museums. I tried to explain it to them that since Dad is the wizard and Mum's the muggle, it should be the other way around, but there's no logic to be found from my parents. You'd love it here, Lily. The food, the scenery, the dances, the weather! I'm so tan you won't be able to recognize me!_

_Speaking of which, I cannot think of anything that I could possibly cope with leaving my paradise for besides you. I'm so thrilled your parents are letting me stay at your house before term begins. I've missed my best friend! We weren't meant to go this long without talking!_

_Ahh, I really must go, but I just can't wait to see you! I get this absurdly goofy grin on my face every time I see Calypso. Okay, well, adíos, mi amiga! Don't kill Petunia before I get there! It's the best friend's job to help dispose of the body!_

_Love,_

_Hestia, xoxo_

A Miss Hestia Jones and I had been inseparable since the Welcoming Feast on our first day at Hogwarts. The only two first year girls who had not swooned at the sight of Sirius Black's cheeky grins, Remus Lupin's ocean eyes, or bloody James Potter's "sex" hair, we made a lifelong connection. I mean, honestly! We were First Years! I supposed hormones raged early at Hogwarts. Maybe it was the magic. Still, even after puberty, Hestia and I remained resilient in our complete detestation for the prats who called themselves the Marauders, no matter how much they seemed to object to this. I could forgive Sirius for becoming smitten with Hestia. I, myself, had fallen for her irresistibly charming qualities, only, of course, in a completely non-sexual way. However, I could not forgive his git of a best friend for his inane obsession with me. One more year, and I would finally be rid of James Ruddy Potter. Ahh, the thought alone made me want to sing.

Hestia was coming tomorrow to stay at my house for two splendid weeks before Seventh Year starts. I was so bloody excited. I had waited all summer to hear her snarky comments and humorous anecdotes. Wistfully, I placed her letter back in its envelope and placed it neatly on my nightstand. I glanced down at the watch on my left wrist. Only 32 more hours until I would see her in person!

With that optimistic thought, I went back to folding my laundry. I had almost finished when Petunia stormed into my room again. I vaguely considered transforming her into a toad. My fingers itched for my wand, but I forced myself to focus on the laundry. I didn't think my socks appreciated it very much. I got a little violent when my sister was around.

She didn't say anything. She just strode right into my room as though she owned the place. Sadly, I had an inkling Petunia actually believed she did. She perched herself in front of my window and pulled back the curtains.

It was too much. I couldn't control my curiosity. "What could you possibly want now?"

"Shh," she hushed me as she flailed her hand in my direction to make me simmer down.

It had the opposite effect. "No, this is my room. I have the right to know what's going on in it."

"I'm looking through your window," said Petunia, never tearing her eyes away from whatever she was gazing at, in a snotty voice.

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes because there was no one around to appreciate my sense of humor, I asked another question. "Can't you do that in your own room?"

"Yours has a better view of the front of the house," she replied.

"Why do you need to see the front of the house?" I asked.

"There's a cute guy out there," she told me in between a high-pitched giggle.

I couldn't help it; I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't exactly call Vernon cute," I told her. "Able to swallow a whale, possibly - but cute, no."

Petunia was so annoyed that she actually turned to look in my direction. "It's not Vernon. I don't know who he is. I just thought he was cute."

"You mentioned," I replied dryly. Disinterested, I went back to folding my socks.

"Not that there's anything wrong with Vernon," continued Petunia pensively. "He's a very special individual, and he's completely infatuated with me."

"Who wouldn't be?" I mumbled to myself.

"It's just that the guy out there is all kinds of sexy. Look at those shoulders! And the way his butt looks when he walks, God," she paused to fan herself dramatically. "I just wish I could see his face. I wonder why he's here. He won't stop pacing in front of our front door. Maybe I should invite him inside."

"I'm sure your boyfriend would love that. I'm looking forward to that conversation. 'Sorry, mate, but Petunia already left with some boy-god with a nice rear.'"

"I might be in love with Vernon, but I'm still a girl with eyes. It's not a crime to appreciate the opposite sex. I'm perfectly normal."

"Lucky you." I kept my tone indifferent. If I did not engage, maybe she would finally get bored and leave me alone.

"Not that you would know anything about it," Petunia prattled on. "You never date. You probably don't even know what a cute boy looks like."

I bit down on my tongue. I kept trying to think of soothing images to keep my temper from flaring. I concentrated on my socks. If I could just keep focusing on aligning the stripes perfectly, everything would be okay.

"Not that it would matter. I highly doubt any boy would want to date a freak like you."

I slammed my socks down angrily.

"Really?" I goaded her. "So you don't think there's any way that guy down there might prefer me over you?"

Eyebrow raised, Petunia appraised me snobbishly for a few moments before scoffing in my direction. "I doubt it."

Now, I was angry. What was so wrong with me? I got off my bed and strode over to the window to peer out and peep at the boy. She was right. He looked pretty damn lickable. His black shirt was tight around his muscles, and his jean shorts hung perfectly around his hips. Window Boy also had a head of hair that screamed mischief. It was dark and thick and unmanageable, the kind you just wanted to run your fingers through. Yes, this boy was cute. Yet, there was no reason for Petunia to turn to mush at the mere stalking of him or for her to suggest that I would not be able to attract his interests. I had just as good of a shot with Window Boy as she did.

I had had boyfriends. There might not have been many, but a few boys at school had shown interest. I had flirted. I had dressed up and put on lip gloss. I could be just as obnoxiously estrogen-filled as everyone else. Hell, I even had my very own stalker who couldn't take "no" for an answer. I was Lily Evans, and I could get a boyfriend if I so desired.

"There's no reason why he wouldn't want to date me," I told her.

"Please," Petunia laughed. "Like he'd want to go out with a freak."

"Let's go find out," I snapped. I stormed out of my room and rushed through the hallway before jostling quickly down the stairs.

"Lily!" Petunia called after me as she tried to keep up. "What are you doing? Stop it!"

"No," I yelled out to her. "We're going to ask Window Boy what he thinks."

"Don't!' Petunia shouted.

"What?" I called out haughtily. "Afraid?" I taunted as I halted in front of the door.

Petunia arrived a few seconds after than me and took a few deep breaths to steady her heart rate. She eyed me before looking at the doorknob. "Of you," she jeered. "Never."

Then she opened the door.

It took him a few seconds to realize what was going on. He spun around on his heels as his hand immediately flew to his hair.

"Hey," Petunia cooed in what I assumed was meant to be a flirtatious tone. She forced open the door wider so it was blocking my view. I never got to see his face.

"Oh, hi," he replied back. His voice cracked. Maybe he was in shock from seeing Petunia try to bend so far down that he could see her lower intestines.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" she asked suggestively.

I rolled my eyes. Honestly, how did I end up with Petunia as a sister?

"Oh, yeah, is, um, Lily here?" he asked. His voice sounded nervous.

I startled a bit when I heard my name. I peeked over the door to see him. My heart stopped. I knew that hair.

What was James Potter doing here? He was standing right there on the foot of my door. James Potter was at my house. Petunia and I just had an actual conversation about his butt. We were going to ask who he would rather go on a date with. This was James Potter, and he was here. I thought I was going to throw up.

"Lily!" James exclaimed when he saw me. His face broke into a huge smile. He looked tanner than when I'd last seen him in June. He had gotten taller too. I tried to pick out all the things about him that would make him unrecognizable to me previously. It didn't work. My mind kept repeating the same thing. James Potter was at my house.

Beside me, Petunia was seething. "You want to talk to her?" she asked scathingly.

James looked at my sister as though he was coming out of a trance. "Yeah," he replied sheepishly. "If that's okay."

"Are you sure?" Petunia pushed. "I mean, she's really busy."

"Well, I guess I could come back another time then," he teetered. His voice was so cautious, not what I had expected.

"Well, you can always talk to me." She actually winked at him.

I had to work hard not to throw up on my shoes. I balled my hands into fists at my sides.

"No, thank you. I really only wanted Lily."

Petunia turned desperate. "But she's a freak!"

And that's when I said it.

"Petunia, let me introduce you to my boyfriend, James Potter."

The words left my mouth before I could stop them. I reveled in the shocked expression on my older sister's face. Her jaw had dropped to nearly her chest, and she was gazing at me like a goldfish out of water. I grinned smugly at the disbelief on her face.

It disappeared when I saw the look on Potter's. It was a mix between the greatest euphoria I had ever seen combined with the most confusion. It looked like he had just won a million galleons in a lottery he did not remember ever entering. Peripherally, I noticed Petunia's gaze moving back and forth between us. My eyes widened when I looked at the boy standing directly in front of me.

Potter opened his mouth as though he was about to say something. Oh, no. He was going to correct me. Potter was going to tell Petunia that I had lied. He was going to say that he wasn't my boyfriend. I couldn't let him do that. For the love of Merlin, I could not let him do that. I had to stop him. He couldn't tell her the truth. So, I did the only conceivable thing I could think of to make him stop. I kissed him.

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A/N: hello, gentle readers! i promised i'd be back! here's the first bit of my newest story! i sincerely hope you enjoyed it! it's my first ever first-person story. it's so weird for me. i'm so used to speaking from third-person limited (james). i really hope you enjoy me getting inside lily's head. i know i will! thank you very much for reading this! please, if you have time, i have some shorter one-shots and the like that i recently wrote after "revenge." or, for those of you who i've known for a long time, "sweet." again, thank you! ttfn!

primarily yours,

molly


	2. Necessary Prerequisites

_Previously on Boyfriend: _

___Potter opened his mouth as though he was about to say something. Oh, no. He was going to correct me. He was going to tell Petunia that I had lied. He was going to say that he wasn't my boyfriend. I couldn't let him do that. For the love of Merlin, I could not let him do that. I had to stop him. He couldn't tell her the truth. So, I did the only conceivable thing I could think of to make him stop. I kissed him._

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**Chapter Two**

**Necessary Prerequisites**

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_"I make it a policy to try never to make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way. After all, there's always all kinds of new ways to make a complete idiot of myself. Why repeat the old ones?" - Margot Dalton_

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On the cheek.

Merlin, I might have just uttered the most idiotic words I had ever spoken in my lifetime, but hell had not frozen over. The earth was still spinning on its axis, and, as far as I knew, pigs had not started to fly - without the help of the Levitating Charm, that was.

I leaned forward, wrapped my fingers around his mouth to silence him, and brushed my lips quickly against his cheek. Before moving back, I moved my lips closer to his ear. "Just play along," I hissed into his ear.

Then I rocked backwards onto my heels and turned to Petunia smugly. She was staring at me like I had suddenly grown six heads. I grinned back at her cheekily. "Is there a problem, Tuney?" I asked as my lips curled even more while I used her most hated nickname that I had been forbidden to use after she started school.

She continued to gape at me. Merlin, this was fun.

"You're dating my sister?" Petunia finally managed to croak out. She looked like she was waiting for someone to yell "Gotcha!" and end this practical joke. When no one did, she stared him down beadily.

My eyes found James, and I sent him a warning look. He gulped and shifted his weight cautiously. Merlin, Potter. How many times had you asked me to Hogsmeade? Just spit out the damn answer!

"Umm, yeah," Potter answered hesitantly as he looked at me with those confused hazel eyes of his.

"See, Petunia," I interrupted quickly before the prat swallowed his tongue or peed his pants. "He's my boyfriend. I'm sure you approve. I seem to recall you saying something about him being - what was it you said?" I pretended to try to remember as I kept myself from laughing when her eyes widened in horror. "Oh, yes, cute."

"Yeah, well," she muttered under her breath.

"Mmm, I thought so too. Petunia, meet my boyfriend, James Potter."

She looked like she had swallowed her tongue whole now. James shifted his weight and then stuck out his hand for her to shake.

"Umm, nice to meet you," he greeted her awkwardly.

She took his hand in a daze.

"Oh, right, Tuney, I forgot to mention that he's also a wizard."

She dropped his hand immediately. Her face turned green, and she looked like her brain might explode. If I wasn't freaking out, I would have laughed hysterically. I mean, honestly! I was standing in the doorway of my house with my sister who was having an aneurysm because I told her that Potter was my boyfriend. Potter! My sworn enemy! Maybe there really was a hidden camera here somewhere.

"We'll be in my room, Petunia. You'll want to knock before you come in if you need to see anything from my window. It's been awhile since we've seen each other."

I grabbed Potter's elbow and brushed past Petunia. I yanked him up the stairs and into my room. I closed the door quickly and then spun around on my heels to face Potter.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded.

He opened his mouth to reply, but I interrupted him. The most wonderful idea had just entered my mind.

"Hold on," I told him. Then I did my loudest, most obnoxious impression of the nitwit girls at school. The giggle that erupted from my lips was so high-pitched that I wanted to shield my ears. "James!" I squealed in a loud, breathy voice that would definitely carry down the stairs. I smiled. Perfect.

"Lily?" James breathed in an incredulous tone.

I turned my attention back to him. "Would you mind groaning my name?" I heard myself ask him. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. My face started to turn red, but I was too determined to allow my embarrassment to hinder me now. As long as I had dug my grave, I might as well lay down in it.

"Groan your what?" he asked, well, more like coughed.

I almost felt bad for Potter. He looked like his head might explode. Still, that meant he had a chance. I was fairly certain that my brain was already splattered on the wall.

"My name," I repeated to him tersely. "I want my sister to think we're snogging in here," I added matter-of-factly.

James, who looked a tad green but with pink blotches on his cheeks - creating a sort of watermelon effect - swallowed hard and then nodded. As I heard my name leave his lips in a low, seductive growl, I felt a strong tugging sensation at my stomach that I'd never felt before. Then again, I'd never heard anyone speak my name so passionately. I vaguely wondered what experience he used as motivation for that bit of acting. Well, he had been known to hang out a lot in broom closets.

The loud "humph" I heard all the way from downstairs brought me out of my reverie. Petunia had heard. Excellent.

"Thanks," I said as I turned to look at Potter again. He looked so awkward standing next to my collection of unicorn figurines. "Now, again, what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

James blanched. "You dragged me in here!" he protested.

"Not here," I clarified as I gestured to my room. "My house!"

"Oh," realized Potter sheepishly. "Well, I hadn't seen you all summer, and I wasn't doing anything today," he replied lamely.

"Couldn't you have just written me a letter? Why'd you have to come all the way to my house?" I asked irately.

"But you would have just thrown the letter out when you saw who it was from," he pointed out to me.

Damn, he was right. "That's not true," I lied through my teeth. "If you leave now, you can try it," I said as I ushered him to the doorway of my room. As I was opening the door to throw him out, he turned to stop me.

"Did you know that you get this crinkle between your eyebrows when you lie?" Potter asked me.

I was about to retort when I heard the creaking sound the third step always makes when someone's going up the stairs. "Quick!" I hissed. "Make your hair messy!" Then as I looked over at him briefly, I added, "-Er."

Potter shot me a sarcastic look, but I didn't have the time. "Just do it," I ordered. "I'll explain later."

"You better," he replied.

Fortunately, to my immense relief, he began to pull at his hair. Frantically, I began to do the same to mine. Then, right before I heard Petunia come up the last stair into the upstairs hallway, I tugged down the right strap to my tank top and flung my body against Potter's. My arms wound around his neck, and we stumbled backwards against a wall. Ironically enough, his back hit a picture of Petunia.

His breathing sounded forced. His hands found their way to the small of my back, and he clutched me into a tighter embrace. Ordinarily, this would have disgusted me, but I worshipped Potter's hormones now.

"God, at least make it into your room," Petunia sneered as she walked passed us.

Ensuring she would get a good glimpse of our disheveled appearances, I unraveled myself from Potter to say, "Good idea. Thanks, Tuney."

She scoffed and then stomped away. "Vernon's here. I'm leaving," she announced without even bothering to turn around.

"Have fun! We'll be here," I told her with fake enthusiasm. Then, I grabbed Potter by the forearm and pushed him back into my room before closing the door with a resounding thud.

"Lily, as much as I rather enjoy being dragged around by you, can you please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Oh, Merlin," I sighed before I collapsed onto my bed. What _was _going on? What the hell had I just done? What in Merlin's name was I going to do now? I put my face into my hands and shut my eyes. "Oh, Merlin," I repeated over and over again.

Maybe this was a dream. No, dreams were supposed to be happy. This was a nightmare. That was it! This was all a result of that ice cream I had at two in the morning last night. Dairy never quite agreed with me after eleven. If I just opened my eyes, all of this would be over, and I would be safe and warm and _alone _in my bedroom. I chanced a peek.

James Potter's face was only a few centimeters away from mine. He was staring at me like I was having a nervous breakdown.

Hell, I probably was.

I groaned. "You're still here," I muttered darkly.

His entire face broke into a glorious smile when he heard me speak. Merlin, this kid needed another hobby.

"Lily," he admonished me in a playful tone. "Is that really any way to greet your boyfriend?"

I groaned again and muffled my face with my pillow. "You're not my boyfriend," I declared.

"Yes, well, I know that," Potter stated obviously. "I believe the last thing you said to me before term ended was that, and I quote, 'you hoped I had some sort of Quidditch accident that mangled my brain enough to stop the motor function to my hands so I would finally stop messing up my hair.' You were so angry with me that day. It was really quite adorable," he recalled fondly.

I wouldn't call myself a naturally cruel person, but some people just got on my nerves. Like Petunia, and the prat staring at the side of my bed with huge eyes. I looked away from him. Oh, Merlin! One of my bras was left over from my laundry, and James Potter had seen it! James Potter had seen my bra! I quickly grabbed it and hid it under my pillow.

My face completely red, I replied, "Yeah, I remember."

Potter looked up at me with a sheepish grin, the kind that clearly stated, 'Yep, I was just caught staring at your bra and possibly imagining what you look like wearing it.'

"So, anyway," he began as he tried to avoid the blatant awkwardness of our situation, "Did I miss something? I supposed that would be my luck. I tried to get a girl to date me for six years straight, and then I miss the fact that she's my girlfriend."

My eyes widened in horror. "I am not your girlfriend!" I screeched in an appalled voice. "I can't even stand you, Potter!"

He smirked that trademark, annoyingly attractive smirk of his. "That's, what I figured," he replied as he sat down next to me on my bed.

My hands immediately tensed up, and I dug my nails into my palms. A boy was sitting on my bed. And not just any boy, James Bloody Potter, whom I had just told my sister was my boyfriend. Oh, Merlin, kill me now.

"Still," he continued in that irritatingly calm voice, "it doesn't explain what's going on now."

How could he be so aloof about this? Why wasn't he freaking out like I was? Damn, he was the most infuriating boy on the planet. He even had the nerve to smile at me like this was just a regular Tuesday morning occurrence for us!

I sighed. "Truthfully," I said as I looked into his hazel eyes that were closer than I'd ever seen them before, "I have no idea what I'm doing."

Then, Potter did the most inconceivable thing. He started to laugh. Not a polite chuckle, either. He guffawed so hard that the metal springs in my mattress started to whine in protest.

"It's not funny!" I argued in frustration.

Eventually, he managed to get enough of a grip on himself to croak out an apology. "Sorry, Lily, but it really is."

"Stop laughing or I'll hex you into oblivion!" I warned angrily. I sounded very scary to my own ears, but as soon as I said it, the git broke out into another round of hysterics. "Perfect," I muttered. "I hope you still think this is all so funny after I've transfigured you into a tea cozy," I said as I took my wand out of my pocket to threaten him with it.

"Make it a red one," he told me through his laughter.

"You're impossible!"

"That's what they tell me," he replied cheekily.

"Why you little-" I would have gone on to call him some much more expletive adjectives, but I heard a voice call my name from downstairs.

"Lily, hun! Are you up yet? It's nearly one!"

I froze. My mum was home.

"Lily?" she called again.

"Yeah, mum, I'm awake!" I yelled down to her.

"Can you come down here? I need some help with the groceries!"

"Sure, mum, I'll be down in a minute!"

"Okay!" she called back.

I turned my attention back to the elephant in my room. Apparently, elephants had extremely untidy hair and enjoyed making my life a living hell. Damn elephants.

"I have to go downstairs to talk to my mum," I said curtly to Potter.

"Okay," replied Potter, looking too much at ease with this whole situation. "Would you like me to go with you?"

"No!" I answered quickly. "No, you should stay here. I'll try to figure something out so we can get you out of here unseen. I won't be long. Just stay here." I paused to examine his mischievous eyes. "Don't touch anything," I told him. "And don't look at anything, either. Better yet," I added as I pulled out my desk chair, "just sit there and wait for me to come back."

He sat down in my chair without complaint, but Iwas pretty sure that he was just worried I was going to hex him if he didn't. I still had my wand out.

"Tell your mum I say, 'hi,'" he told me cheerfully.

"Just don't make any noise and pretend you're not here, Potter," I ordered before I left the room. Unfortunately, I didn't miss the wide grin on his face as I closed the door.

"Bugger," I murmured to myself as I walked down the hallway. I tried to calm my frustration as I walked down the stairs. I didn't need my mum to think I looked stressed. That would lead to questions that I didn't currently have answers to. Questions like why I had told Petunia that James Potter was my boyfriend, or, you know, what my favorite flavor of pie was. I guess the latter wasn't so hard - except that I could never quite choose between peanut butter and pumpkin…

"Mum?" I called.

"In the kitchen," she voiced, but it sounded muffled.

When I entered our kitchen, decorated with fruit-adorned wallpaper, I found my mum's body sticking out of the fridge. "I'm here," I announced in a somewhat normal way.

She pulled her head out of the vegetable crisper along with some celery. "Oh, there you are. Good. Can you grab the steak? It's on the counter. I'm making it for dinner tonight."

"Sounds good," I commented while I handed her the package of meat, which she put in the fridge.

"Well, it is your father's favorite."

"Mmm," I replied vaguely as I eyed the stairs. Right now, James Potter was unsupervised in my room. He could be doing anything right now! He could be ruffling through my things! What if he found my knicker drawer? That would be even worse than him seeing my bra!

"So where's your sister today?" my mum asked me in a tired voice.

"Oh, you know," I replied while I put a box of raisins into the cupboard. "She out with Vermin."

"Lily!" she chastised.

"Oh, come on, Mum," I argued. "He's a complete prat. Even Petunia can find someone better than him."

"He really is rather awful, isn't he?" Mum whispered in a liberated sort of tone.

I smiled. I loved my mum. Sure, she loved us both with all of her heart, but she always seemed to find Petunia's antics just as ridiculous as I did. She sighed loudly as she held a bag of peaches thoughtfully.

"Just do me a favor, Lily. When you do bring a boy home, pick one who's better than Vermin."

She started to giggle, and I smiled weakly at her. My eyes darted back towards the stairs. If she only knew.

"Lily, is there something upstairs?" she asked me curiously.

"What?" I yelped. "No!"

"Well, that's the third time I've caught you staring up there," my mum accused. "Is there something wrong with your room?"

"What? Of course not!" Great, my voice squeaked. Why hadn't I just worn a flashing sign above my head.?

"Then you won't mind if I go check," Mum said as she walked towards the stairs.

Panicked, I followed her. "Mum, this really isn't necessary," I told her.

"Don't worry, I'm just going to get my reading glasses. I left them in your room last night when I came in to check on you."

We were already up the stairs.

"I'll get them for you! Really! You don't need to go inside!"

"Relax, Lily," she teased. "I've seen messy rooms before. You can't scare me."

Then, she opened the door.

In horror, I watched as James popped up from the chair I had forced him into earlier. His hand immediately flew to his hair.

"Oh, my! Lily!" my mum exclaimed.

"Mum, I can explain," I responded quickly.

"Who is this boy?"

James look too surprised to answer.

"Lily?" she demanded.

"Umm…" I stalled in a vain attempt to find a reason for this insanity. Her brown eyes pierced my gaze, and I gave up. There was nothing else I could think of, and I might as well stay consistent with my lies. "Mum, this is my boyfriend, James Potter."

Appearing to awaken from his stupor at the sound of his name, Potter stepped forward and held out his hand. He gave my mum his most knee-jerking grin. "You have a lovely home, Mrs. Evans," he greeted her politely.

My mum blinked under the spell of his pearly whites. Merlin, I hoped I didn't look like that when he talked to me. Dazed, she shook his hand.

"Please, call me April, James," she replied with her own smile. "Lily never told me she was dating such a nice, young man."

I rolled my eyes. Of course, my mum would have the completely wrong reaction. Instead of trying to murder him for possibly riffling through my knickers, she was already planning grandchildren.

"In fact," continued Mum, rounding on me, "she never told me she had a boyfriend at all."

"Surprise?" I offered lamely.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you, James. Why don't you two come downstairs with me? I was just about to make lunch. That way you both can eat, and I can keep an eye on you."

"Mum!" I yelped.

"What?" she asked innocently.

Oh, Merlin. My mum thought James and I had been snogging. It was different with Petunia. I had been trying to annoy her. But this was my mum! My face burned with heat.

"That sounds great, Mrs.-I mean, April," James replied.

My mum beamed at him, and then I found myself and my _boyfriend_ being escorted out of my room.

"So, James, tell me about yourself."

I groaned. It was never a good idea to ask a narcissist who'd spent years living with overzealous teenage girls that question.

Constantly under the ceaseless gaze and endless questions of my mum, Potter and I, after eating lunch and enduring her interrogation for three hours, found ourselves watching television. On the loveseat, of course.

I would have found his childlike amazement of the 'incredible muggle contraption' amusing if I wasn't so preoccupied with what I was ruddy going to do. Unfortunately, it wasn't like I could just turn and talk to Potter about it. He was too busy schmoozing my mother over to help me figure out a way to make him disappear. I fingered my wand in my pocket as I thought about all the nasty hexes I had learned. No, that would be unethical. Well…..

I peered over my shoulder. My mum was fretting over the baked potatoes.

"Potter," I whispered out of the corner of my mouth.

"Yeah," he breathed back.

"I need you to-"

The doorbell rang. "Oh, that must be your father."

"Damn," I cursed under my breath. I grabbed Potter's wrist and x-rayed his eyes with my own.

"Potter, if you sit through this dinner, I'll do whatever you want. I'll stop cancelling your post-Quidditch parties, and I'll even look away when you bring back firewhiskey from Hogsmeade. Just do me a favor, please don't tell my family I lied," I pleaded quietly.

"Sure, Lily," he agreed sincerely. "Being your boyfriend isn't so bad."

I groaned. "For you, maybe," I muttered under my breath.

"Lils! I'm home!" I heard my dad say as he bounded into the living room to give me a hug, his usual post-work routine. He stopped when he saw the teenage boy sitting next to me.

"Lils, who's this?" he asked in a confused voice.

My mum rushed in after him. "That's her boyfriend, James. You remember, dear. Lily mentioned she was going to have someone from her school stay with us for two weeks."

"What?" my dad asked loudly.

Finally, a normal response. I was wondering if I was the only sane person left in my house. Wait, two weeks? No! That's Hestia!

"Henry!" my mum chided.

Potter rose from his seat. He offered his hand to my father. "It's very nice to meet you, sir," he greeted.

My father reluctantly shook his hand. Merlin, Dad, I knew the feeling. It was very annoying when the person you were determined to hate acted mature and respectful.

"Yeah, well, two weeks, huh? How come no one ever mentioned to me it would be a boy?" my father asked.

"Hush, Henry," Mum replied in a whisper that I could still hear. "We have the guest room set up already. I'm sure Lily would not appreciate us turning away the first boyfriend she's brought home. Do this for her."

Well, that was just fantastic.

"Nice to have you here, boy," my father said finally in a strained voice.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I hope Petunia and Vernon get here in time. Imagine, a whole family dinner. How exciting! Lily, can you set the table?" my mum asked excitedly.

Would it be rude of me to run screaming from the house?

Nearly fifteen minutes later, I was seated next to Potter at our dining room table. My mum had insisted we used the good china because we had company. She never got the china out for Vernon. But, Potter was special. I eyed Petunia eating her salad in small forkfuls directly across from me. Merlin, if looks could kill. Apparently, bringing your whale of a boyfriend home to have dinner with your parents and your freak of a sister and her freak boyfriend was "totally uncalled for."

"So, James," my father question as he fiddled with his fork, "how long have you been dating my daughter?"

Potter looked at me for an answer.

"Uh, about three months now," I invented. "We got together right before term ended."

"Lily!" my mum exclaimed. "That long and you never told us! How could you keep such important news from us?"

I coughed and reached for my glass of water.

"That's my fault, Mrs. Evans," I heard Potter turning in his seat to address my mum at the head of the table. "I wanted it to be a surprise for when I came to visit Lily."

"How romantic," my mother cooed.

"Yeah," Petunia commented sourly. "Some surprise."

"Oh, shush," Mum quieted her.

"So, James, you attend Hogwarts with Lily?" my father inquired.

'Yes, sir," James answered respectfully.

"And do you get good marks there?"

"I do my best, sir," he replied modestly.

I was surprised. The Potter I knew never missed an opportunity to boast about himself. Come on, Potter! I had a sister to annoy! "He's just being humble," I told my father. "He's in the top of the class."

"Right behind Lily," Potter admitted. "She's a tough act to follow." I rolled my eyes. He was such a suck up.

My father grinned affectionately at me. "I imagine she would be," he said. I smiled back at him.

"Do you play any sports?" Dad asked with a little more enthusiasm.

"I'm the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, sir."

"Oh, yes! Lily explained that game to me once. It involves brooms and a waffle?"

I snorted into my potato.

"Quaffle," Potter corrected him.

"Oh, right," Dad replied. He started to cut his steak. "Now, what are your intentions with my seventeen-year-old daughter?"

Potter coughed so loudly I thought he swallowed his tongue. Petunia's lips curled into a slight grin at him hacking his lungs out.

"Dad!" I screeched.

"Henry!" my mother exclaimed simultaneously. "Don't interrogate the poor boy! Goodness, it took Lily three months just to tell us about him. We don't want to scare him away."

"Yes, dear," my father mumbled apologetically.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him his baby girl wasn't really dating a boy, but my sister was whispering something into Vernon's ear, and I knew I was in a bind. I really needed to work on this Gryffindor pride issue. It got me into trouble.

"Tell us," my mum urged. "How did you two get together?"

I looked frantically at Potter. He gazed at me before turning to address my mum with an easy smile on his face.

"Well, I knew I liked Lily since the moment I first met her on the train when we were eleven. The hair, the eyes, the smile. She was the most radiant thing I had ever seen. Must come from the good genes. Unfortunately, she was not so easily swayed. I tended to be a bit of a prat around her. When I was younger, I would do stupid things to try to impress her, and she was quite frustrated with me. I had the embarrassing tendency to watch her every move. I was hopeless! Then, one day this year after exams, I found her sitting alone in the Common Room. It was much later than curfew, and everyone else had already gone to bed. She had fallen asleep in her usual armchair by the fire while reading her Charms book, her favorite. I didn't want her to sleep sitting up, so I tried to move her. She woke up in my arms. We got to talking, first about school and then about everything else. It was nearly four in the morning before we realized what time it was. I asked her to go to Hogsmeade, the local village, with me for the last trip, and she said yes. I was so euphoric that I had to kiss her right then. Then, I watched her walk up the stairs into her dorm room. It was the best night of my life. And, here we are."

He stopped abruptly. I blinked. It was like I had been a trance. It had sounded so real. I could picture it all in my head: the fire, the armchair, the book. It all sounded perfect. In fact, I almost wanted it. Only, of course, not with Potter. I looked over at him. He was smiling at me in a way I'd never seen him do before. There was no trace of a smirk or sarcasm. He just looked at me like, well, like I was the girl in his story. He leaned over to lightly graze my temple with his lips. I sucked in an audible breath.

"That was beautiful," my mum breathed.

"Humph," Petunia retorted.

I grinned.

After the dishes had been cleared, my mum dragged me into the kitchen.

"Oh, Lily!" she gushed. "He's perfect!"

"Yeah, he's a regular….um, great guy," I replied lamely.

"Don't worry about your father. I'll convince him to ease up around James. He is staying for two weeks after all. We don't want him to feel uncomfortable around us. I don't see why your father needs to be so overprotective. He's such a wonderful young man. I love him already, and it's obvious he loves you. I mean, have you seen the way he looks at you? And that story! Goodness, it was so adorable. I'm so happy for you and your new boyfriend!"

I grabbed the kitchen counter for support. Of course my mum would be excited about my relationship with a teenage boy. She would be over the moon about letting him stay over our house. Why couldn't she freak out and ground me like a normal parent would?

"Are you sure, mum?" I asked leadingly. "I don't want to make Dad angry. He is a seventeen-year-old boy, and all."

"Let me worry about your father," she consoled. "You just enjoy your time with James."

"Thanks, mum," I replied. Thankfully, she didn't notice the dryness in my voice.

"Come on," she urged. "Let's go show James his room."

About a half an hour later, my mum had fluffed Potter's pillow so many times I would not have been surprised if it turned into the goose it came from.

"Well," Mum teetered regretfully. "I guess we should leave you be. I'm sure you're very tired."

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans. I really appreciate this," said James.

"April, dear!" she reminded him.

"Oh, right, April," he corrected himself.

"Say goodnight, Lily," she directed me.

I walked up awkwardly to Potter, and we hugged in front of her. Neither of us knew exactly what we should do with our arms, so we probably looked ridiculous. Before pulling away, I hissed into his ear, "Meet me outside at midnight."

I pulled away with a meaningful glance and then followed my mum out the door.

Since it was only about nine o'clock, I had a lot of time to kill. Unfortunately, I also had a lot of nervous energy. It was surprising how much lying could make you pace. At around ten-thirty, I changed into my pajamas, which consisted of a different pair of shorts and a camisole. I didn't want to wear my oversized T-shirt in front of Potter. He probably had already seen six out of the seven days of my "Potion of the Week" knickers in my drawer.

I plopped onto my bed and looked over at the clock on my nightstand. It was still only 11:21. A piece of parchment caught my eye. I picked up Hestia's letter sadly. I would need to tell her the news. How would I possibly explain it to her? _Dear Hestia, I'm sorry, but you can't come over because my boyfriend, James Potter, is currently sleeping in your room._ No, I could never tell her that. Maybe I should start with something about the weather. I reread her letter again. She sounded so happy. I really wanted it to be her who had come to my house this morning. I looked over at my clock again. It was nearing midnight. Oh, well. I guessed I would just have to come up with a solution in the morning.

I got out of bed and left my room quietly. I crept down the stairs as silently as I could. My parents were usually heavy sleepers, but I doubted that Petunia ever slept. That probably explained why she was so grouchy all the time. I tiptoed out of the house and into my backyard. The damp grass felt wonderful between my toes. I situated myself on my childhood swing set. When Petunia and I were younger, my father bought us each our very own swing. As I reminisced about a time when Petunia was actually nice to me and we got along before makeup, boys, and wizardry entered the picture, I sensed someone sit down next to me. I half expected it to be her, but it was just Potter.

"Your family is really nice," he said to me. "Well, at least your parents are," Potter amended.

"Yeah," I agreed. "They love you, even my dad who didn't want me to date till I'm married with kids. I can't even remember the last time I saw my mum so excited, too."

He chuckled quietly. "What's with your sister?"

I sighed and grabbed the chains on either side of my swing as I began to rock back and forth. "When we were little, Petunia and I were best friends. Then, I got accepted into Hogwarts, and she didn't. It's never been the same between us since."

"So now you're using me to prove some kind of point to her?" he guessed.

I laughed. The only thing more ridiculous than James Potter correctly guessing my motives was what my motives actually were. "I guess I am," I sighed. "That sounds stupid, doesn't it? Lying to annoy your sister?"

Potter shrugged. "I don't know. I think I've heard stupider things before. Hell, I've done stupider things before."

I chortled as I remember one time in Third Year when he and Sirius ran across the Great Hall in women's underwear on a dare. He smiled at me.

"So will you do it?" I asked suddenly.

"Do what?"

"Help me be stupid?" I asked, feeling rather foolish.

"Lily, you'll never be stupid." He smiled at me again, and I shook my head at his flirty antics.

"However, I'd be honored to pretend to be your fake boyfriend."

"Really?" I exclaimed. "Thanks, Potter! It'll only be for a little while. I'll try to think of some excuse for you to leave in the next couple of days. You won't have to waste your last two weeks of summer here. Then, later, when things have cooled down, I can explain that we broke up," I babbled.

"Well," he replied slyly. "I wouldn't go that far. There might be some benefits from this charade that I'll enjoy."

I eyed his arm, which had now wrapped itself around my bare shoulder, with detestation. Just when I thought he could be tolerable for once, he did something like that. I swatted his arm away. "If that's what you think this is about, Potter, I'll go confess to Petunia right now."

"Relax, Lily, I was just messing with you."

"Well, if the past six years haven't taught you anything, I don't like it when you do that."

He smirked. "Something hinted you didn't. Maybe it was all those times you refused to go out with me and called me a 'git.'"

"Well," I balked. "Sometimes you are."

"Still, git or not, it's going to seem really weird if you flinch every time your boyfriend so much as looks at you," Potter pointed out.

"I do not," I cried out indignantly.

"Oh, really?" He leaned over so closely that I could make out the shades of colors in his hazel eyes behind his glasses. Instinctively, I moved away from him.

"See?" he laughed.

"Damnit!" I huffed.

"Gotcha, Lils," Potter teased cockily.

"First of all, Potter," I told him. "Only my father's allowed to call me that. Secondly, I guess we can have minimal public displays of affection, and I mean minimal. Holding hands, arms around shoulder, and hugs. There will be no tongues involved in anything _ever_."

"I can agree with most of that," Potter assented with a crooked grin. "But if I can't call you Lils, then what should I call you?"

"Lily," I answered simply.

"Then you should probably use my first name, too," Potter told me. "Though, I kind of like it when you get angry and huff out 'Potter,'" he added audaciously.

"Fine," I agreed reluctantly.

"Fine, what?" he coaxed obnoxiously.

"Fine, James," I huffed.

"There, that's wasn't so hard," announced Potter, who sounded pleased. "Now," he continued in a business-like tone. "Have we had sex yet?"

My hands fell down to my sides. "Of course not!" I exclaimed. "Why would you even ask that?"

The prat grinned crookedly at me. "Climb back in off the ledge, Lily. I was just wondering what our backstory is. Couples who have sex behave differently than those who don't. They always have these secret smiles on their faces like they can go into a spare closet at any time and rip each others' clothes off."

I didn't think my face could have gotten any redder. "Well, we haven't," I informed him quickly. I took a deep, cleansing breath before continuing. "We're taking things slow. I've, well, I've never…" I trailed off. It turned out my face could turn redder.

"I haven't either. I just wanted to keep pretenses."

"Prat," I muttered before shoving him in the arm. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled us both to our feet. Wordlessly, we agreed to head back inside.

"I guess we'll work on the rest of the backstory later," he commented.

"Yeah," I answered in a quiet voice because we were back inside the house. "By the way, nice story before. Even I almost believed you."

"Yeah, well, I had a lot of time to think about it," he whispered.

He shifted his weight uncomfortably, and we sneaked up the stairs together without saying anything else. We stopped at the door to my room.

"Well, night," I whispered awkwardly.

I heard a very loud creaking come from Petunia's door. I pivoted my head slightly to look over at it. I found her long neck craning over her door as she watched us.

"Is your sister spying on us?" James whispered in my ear.

I nodded. He nodded back and then said so quietly that I had to strain to hear him. "I think this qualifies as a necessary boyfriend duty. I can't see any way around it."

With an inscrutable expression on his face and determination in his eyes, he placed his left hand around my waist, bringing me closer to him, and his right hand caressed my face. In deliberate slowness, he leaned forward, his breath tickling my face, and pressed his lips against mine.

I should have known that kissing James Potter would have been like this. His lips moved softly and sweetly, yet purposefully, against mine, and I had no choice but to sigh against his mouth and move my lips with his. Then, before I was ready and before I had wanted him to, he pulled back with the most breathtaking smile playing on his red lips.

He pressed his forehead against mine and whispered, "Goodnight, Lily."

His fingertips grazed my hair as he relinquished his hold on me. In stunned silence, I watched him walk towards the guest room. In a louder he voice, he called, "Goodnight to you, too, Petunia!"

I held back a laugh as I heard her door slam with a squeak.

James turned around to wink at me, and I rolled my eyes.

Stupid, bloody, pretend boyfriend.

* * *

_A/N: firstly, thank you to everyone for the overwhelming response to this story! it's been insane! i can't believe it! secondly, I am really sorry that this chapter is so disgustingly long. i have this story pretty much mapped out, and i realized taht i just had so much to say in these particular scenes because they are so crucial to the storyline. if you managed to get all the way through it, i sincerely thank you. oh! and for those of you who might have been a little annoyed that the summary kiss is a dud, i made sure to include some lip action in the end. in all of my other stories, it's been about lily and james getting together. and here, we have them already dating. i love it! (and apparently, so does james!) thanks again, and a quick moment for me to reflect about how i'm basically the only person i know who's NOT going to prom tonight._

_yours undateably,__  
__molly_


	3. Liar Liar

_Previously on Boyfriend:_

_His fingertips grazed my hair as he relinquished his hold on me. In stunned silence, I watched him walk towards the guest room. In a louder he voice, he called, "Goodnight to you, too, Petunia!"__I held back a laugh as I heard her door slam with a squeak.__James turned around to wink at me, and I rolled my eyes. __Stupid, bloody, pretend boyfriend._

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**Liar Liar**

* * *

_"It is always the best policy to speak the truth-unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar." - Jerome K. Jerome_

* * *

Sunlight poured in through my bedroom window. I rolled over to my other side and pulled my blankets over my head. It didn't work. Not only did the blankets not block out the offending sun, but they also made it difficult for me to breathe. I pushed them back in agitation and tried to shut my eyes as tightly as I could.

For some obscure reason, I had this ominous feeling that I did not want to get up today, like I would find out some bad news that I was better off avoiding. I could not remember why, but I figured it was too early to question my subconscious motives. Even my conscious ones were a little bit bizarre. I forced my eyelids down tighter.

It still didn't work, and now I had to pee.

"Damnit," I muttered grouchily. Now I knew I could never get back to sleep. I threw my legs over the side of my bed and launched myself forward.

After blindly navigating to the bathroom and taking care of my pesky bladder, I stumbled tiredly into the kitchen for some food. My shorts had risen too high on my legs, my tank top was falling down, and my hair was pointing out in every direction. The kitchen was brighter than anything I'd encountered so far in my morning endeavors, and so I shielded my eyes with my arm as I yawned hugely.

"Good morning, sunshine," I heard a familiar masculine voice say between chuckles.

My eyes opened widely as though they had just gulped down nineteen shots of espresso on their own. James Potter was bloody sitting in my chair at my kitchen table and sipping my coffee with my mum! What the hell was going on?

I staggered backward as my tired brain tried to process the situation. Then, yesterday's stupidity came flooding back to me in a series of embarrassing images. I looked back down at my outfit and then up at Potter's smirking face.

"Crap!" I exclaimed before running the hell out of there. This time I noticed his low, husky chuckling was joined by my mum's higher-pitched giggles. Just ruddy perfect.

I scurried back to my room and hastily slammed the door shut. I rested my back against the closed door, and I tried to stop my ragged breathing from shaking my entire body as I rattled like a fish out of water. Eventually, my knees and my resolve gave way, and I sank to the floor. Merlin, it hadn't been a dream.

Unfortunately, I did not have as much time as I would have liked to mope on the floor. Normally, with the right motivation and the right level of PMS, I could wallow for days. However, a clanking noise against my window distracted me from the patheticness that some people called Lily Evans – when, of course, she was not being referred to as "sunshine." When the noise did not stop, I glanced over at Calypso's cage. Callie was sleeping tranquilly as her beak emitted almost inaudible, yet completely soothing, "hoo" sounds. Lucky bird.

I staggered over to my window in annoyance. I was surprised to find a bright green parrot tapping its beak relentlessly against the glass of my window pane. Instinctively, I rushed over to let it inside. It waited impatiently for me to untie the letter around its left leg before flying away without so much as a glance back.

If it was later in the day and my mind was not so overwhelmed, or, if I was not so anxious to read the letter's contents, I would have taken a moment to recognize how badly I wanted to fly away from this situation myself. Merlin, that was existential. Not too shabby for a girl who didn't stay in muggle school long enough to study Shakespeare. I tore open the letter and read it eagerly.

_Lily!_

_I am so sorry! Really, you should just find a new best friend right now! I don't deserve the title! Force me to go on a date with Peter Pettigrew, or worse, Sirius Black! Make me talk about my cuticles with the dumb Hufflepuff girls in our year. Force me to quit Quidditch! Never allow me to eat any flavor of Bertie Botts besides vomit ever again!_

_I deserve it. I deserve all of these punishments and then some. Okay, I might be overreacting just a teensy bit. Nothing I could ever do could warrant a date with Black. But still! I'm a horrible, horrible person! Ugh, let me explain._

_Yesterday, I spent the day saying goodbye to Spain. I adíosed the mariachi bands, the tango, and the cheese-centered delicacies. It was rough, but I reminded myself that by leaving my España paradise, I would be entering la casa de Lily. By nightfall, the only thing I had to do was hasta la vista my Rico Suave._

_He ended up coming to my room at the inn. Long story short, a Spanish kiss is even more passionate than a French one. Hands begin to, umm….roam. Normally this would have been fantastic, but then my parents walked in._

_Oh, Merlin, Lily. It was awful! They got so angry. I think my dad literally had to put my mum in a headlock to keep her from _Avada Kedavra_-ing his sexy ass right there. It was just like those Spanish soap operas but with wands and curse words they don't let you say on major networks!_

_Now. What does this have to do with me being the worst person in the entire universe? I'm grounded. That's right. No boys. No phone. No magic. And no Lily. I was only allowed to owl you to tell you that I can't come today, or tomorrow, or the next day either. I'm being forced to spend quality time with my ten-year-old brother (basically my parents gave him permission to use me as his own personal slave). The next two weeks will be filled with picking up his dirty socks and getting him all the comic books he wants. Gag me. _

_Still, I'm so angry with myself and my rotten luck that I can't even bring myself to blame them. I just feel bad for letting you down, especially when I've been missing you so much. Feel free to ignore me at school. Don't even bother to look for me at the train. Disregard my presence entirely. Just know you'll probably be breaking my heart if you do. _

_Ahh, I have to go. Tyler's pillows aren't fluffy enough. _

_I love you, and I will spend the rest of the year ignoring your annoying tendencies (like when you go to the library instead of Quidditch after-parties) if you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Before I go, here's what I learned in my summer holidays: Never do anything stupid because of a boy, even if he's the irresistible kind. More importantly, don't get caught._

_Grovelingly yours,_

_Hestia_, xoxo

Feeling silly, I wiped away the tears that were daring to drop from my eyes. I would miss her, but I wasn't that emotional that I needed to get out the waterworks. When I finished my reply to Hestia's letter - a quick, forgiving response that depicted me as the loving, understanding best friend, rather than the deceitful Potter girlfriend I really was - I let Callie fly off with it. This time I had more time to be ironic.

Shocked, I stared at the tiny speck moving farther and farther away. There it was. It was practically perfect. I didn't need to invent some lie to keep Hestia away anymore. Hell, for all intents and purposes, no one would ever need to know that it was Hestia, not Potter, who was originally meant to be our guest for two weeks. I groaned internally. Merlin, someone in power must really hate me.

This would have been the opportune reason to kick Potter to the curb. Ruddy luck. Better yet, ruddy gorgeous Latino males. My stomach grumbled, and I realized that I couldn't hide in my room for much longer without arousing suspicion.

I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around my awry pajamas. Then, I quickly went into the bathroom to splash some water on my face and run a comb through the tangles in my hair before walking into the kitchen to face my inevitable doom: breakfast with my insignificant other.

I braced myself to conquer whatever obstacles and embarrassment stood between me and my morning orange juice - no pulp.

"Ahh, she returns," my mother announced in an overly theatrical voice.

I rolled my eyes as I gulped down my juice. I walked over to the cupboard and swung open the door. Staring at the food inside, I tried to block out whatever James Potter was saying to my mum. There were so many options: cereal, oatmeal, granola bar….Bloody hell! Stop laughing with my mum, Potter!

I grabbed a blueberry muffin viciously - or well, as viciously and passive-aggressively as you could grab a sugar-coated pastry - and plopped myself down at the kitchen table between my mum and the boy who I wouldl one day find eternal unhappiness with by bonding in holy fake-imony.

Potter's arm approached my shoulder, and I scooted my chair back to avoid him.

My mum chortled in amusement. "Don't take it personal, James. She's always this unpleasant in the morning. It has nothing to do with you."

I had to gnash my teeth together to restrain myself from contradicting her.

Potter sent me his usual smirk. "I know all about Lily in the morning," he stated.

Mum sent us a worried glance. That was it! I knew you were the same woman who gave birth to me! Now sic the dogs on him! Banish him from your virginal teenage daughter!

"Not that I-" James amended in horror as huge, pink splotches formed on his cheeks. "I just meant that Lily isn't usually ready for human interaction until about ten minutes after she's had her breakfast, which I know only because we live together. Not in any sort of personal way, though! I just mean we both go to school in the same castle."

It was fun to watch Potter squirm. I approved.

"Breathe, James," my mum said good-naturedly. "I know you would never hurt my Lily."

Damn! Great, Mum. Why didn't we just throw him a bloody parade? How could she not see that behind his, albeit, handsome appearance, he was really the spawn of Satan?

"Oh, no, not Lily," Potter assured her before grabbing my hand and gazing at me with disgustingly gooey eyes.

Yanking it back, I growled lowly as my mum sighed dreamily at us.

"You two are so sweet together."

Now I know why Petunia turned out so sadistic. It was in her DNA. I ate my muffin spitefully as they continued their conversation. Every time my name or Potter's name or anything else about this entire situation came up, my teeth gnashed together violently. By the time I had finished eating, I was fairly certain that I was going to need some extreme dental reconfiguration.

Nothing seemed amiss, however, in Potter's smile when he flashed it at me before grabbing my hand again. I tuned them out entirely as I focused on the image of his fingers intertwined with mine. His hands were large and tanned. They were also a lot harder in texture than mine were. I noticed calluses along his palm that were probably a product of Quidditch. His skin wasn't cold, but rather filled with a comforting heat that, fortunately, did not make it moist. Overall it would have been pleasant, or at least tolerable enough, if the aforementioned hand was not attached to the arm that led to the most untidy head of hair of an insufferable prat. I wanted very badly to punch something.

His thumb started to rub circles on my hand, and I looked up to glare at him. He smirked at me like he knew exactly what he was doing. His face clearly showed that he felt he could do whatever he wanted to me - well, what would be socially acceptable in front of my mother, of course - and there wasn't a blessed thing I could do to stop him. I continued to glare menacingly at him as I cursed him out in my head. I wished horrible things upon him, including, though not limited to: Slytherin beating Gryffindor in the Quidditch Final, someone chopping off all his hair, and Potter's penis being replaced with a wand instead.

He grinned at me like a Legillimens who knew I was thinking about a certain bit of his anatomy. I squeezed his hand tightly and plunged my fingernails into is palm as hard as I could. He yelped loudly and released my hand. I smiled. Sweet success!

"James, dear, are you all right?" I heard my mum ask in a worried voice.

"I'm fine. It takes a lot to scare me away." He was smiling at her, but I knew his words had been directed at me.

Annoyed, I folded my arms across my chest and counted down the seconds until it would not appear suspicious for me to leave the table. All I wanted was to go brood in my room over Hestia's absence.

Mum had different plans. Seriously, I didn't know why she wanted to know Potter's whole philosophy on vegetables. Who cared if thought that a tomato should be considered a vegetable rather than a fruit? It was still only good in ketchup. That kind of nonsense only mattered to psychoanalysts so they could prove that you were insane, anyway. I laughed in my head as I imagined what they would have to say about me. Maybe I could plead temporary insanity for the reason why I inevitably plunged my fork into Potter's eyeball. Oh, how he would scream.

"Isn't that right, Lily?"

"What?" I asked as my deliciously evil thoughts vanished.

My mum sighed happily. "I remember when I was like you. I was so wrapped up in young love that I could barely walk straight, let alone pay attention to conversation."

"Was Mr. Evans the same way?" Potter, the instigator, asked.

"Who said I was talking about him?" she reproached.

"Mum!" I squealed.

"Kidding," she said with a smile. "Yes, I can just picture your father and me as happy as you two are now," she reminisced fondly. "What was I asking before? Oh, right! Well, Petunia's going over to Vernon's house for a swim after lunch, and I think it would be nice for you and James to join her. His pool really is rather large for just two people. I'm sure you both will have much more fun there than lounging in front of the television here."

"No, that's okay, Mum," I declined quickly.

"No, Lily. You should go. I'm sure James would have a wonderful time, and he should get to know your sister."

"I do want to become part of the family, Lily," Potter agreed.

I sighed. Luck despised me. I was fate's plaything. "Fine," I muttered.

Petunia seemed just as enthusiastic about this whole ordeal as I was.

"I can't believe Mother is making me let you guys come with me. I've already completely embarrassed myself in front of Vernon by just being related to you. Then he had to meet that freak you call a boyfriend, and he's probably going to want to break up with me because he wants a girlfriend not a freak tent at the circus. God! And what's even worse is that Mum is so ridiculously happy about this whole thing!"

I sighed. For once, I agreed completely with my sister. That hadn't happened since we both decided when I was three that watching Mum and Dad kiss was "icky." Still, as I watched her throw a tantrum in my room, I could not bring myself to agree with her verbally. If Vernon couldn't accept Potter for being a wizard, then Petunia should not be interested in dating that kind of a bloke at all. I hated pureblood precociousness and muggle xenophobia. Everyone was a freak in my eyes. Petunia shouldn't hate Potter merely because he could do magic. There were plenty other of reasons for that.

"God, what are Vernon and I possibly expected to say to you? We don't speak Freak," Petunia complained.

Then, as was my custom, before I could really contemplate the meaning of my words or think about their consequences, I blurted out the first very, very stupid thing that came to mind. "Well, you're going to have to think of something to say because we're coming," I told her.

Petunia sprang from her pacing and grabbed my arm. "No, you're not," she seethed.

I attempted to extract my arm, but her fingers had a death grip.

"Yes, we are," I replied back.

She pulled on my arm hair.

"Oww!" I yelped in pain.

"Tell Mother you don't want to come," she ordered me.

"But what kind of sister would I be if I didn't want to spend the last weeks I'm home with you?"

Petunia relinquished my arm so she could cross her arms over her chest. "A good one," she huffed.

I shrugged innocently. "Good sisters spend time together," I sing-songed.

Petunia rubbed her forehead in irritation, and I knew that I had won. "Fine," she acquiesced angrily. "Just don't do any m-m-" I choked back a laugh as she stuttered on the word. "Anything abnormal at Vernon's house."

"Don't worry. I've already had my fill of turning humans into frogs this morning," I teased.

Petunia flinched. Ahh, she really made it too easy to mock her.

"Just don't," she reemphasized. "And don't wear your red bathing suit."

I blanched. That was random. "Why not?" I asked.

"You don't look good in bikinis. They're not flattering to your body type. You're better off in a one-piece."

"Petunia," I growled. "Get out of my room." She must have seen the steam leaving my ears because she hurried towards the door.

"I'm driving the car. You and your boyfriend can find your own way to Vernon's house."

After locking the door behind her, I realized something very strange. Petunia and I both had an aversion to saying James Potter's name. I tried not to think about what that meant as I opened my drawer. Grinning, I pulled out my red bikini.

Fifteen minutes later, I was in a light cotton dress with my bathing suit sticking to my skin underneath. I was holding my towel in one hand and James Potter in the other.

"So how are we getting here?" Potter asked me in a chipper voice.

While I was getting ready, he had apparated back to his house to get his bathing suit and everything else that he'd need for his time here. Part of me was grateful that it was so easy to fool my family into thinking Potter and I really had been planning this visit all along. A much bigger part of me wished Potter would have just stayed home.

"Petunia took the car already," I sighed. "I guess we'll have to apparate."

Potter nodded.

"I'll side-along you," I said. "You've never been there before, and I don't want to have to explain to Petunia that my boyfriend's been splinched and the other half of him is two blocks back."

"Which half?" Potter asked with delight.

"The left," I answered vaguely.

Potter chuckled and then wrapped his arms around my waist.

"What are you doing?" I asked quickly. My voice jumped up at least ten octaves.

"Holding onto you," he replied lightly.

"Why?"

"Aren't you going to apparate soon, love? Or do you just like the feeling of me wrapped around you?"

I bit my tongue. "Don't call me love." Then, I turned, and I felt the familiar unpleasant tug at my navel. Only, this time, it wasn't so bad because I had strong arms to keep me grounded. I blinked, and we were there.

I breathed in relief. Something about apparating always made me feel uneasy. Speaking of uneasy, why were there two hands inching towards my butt?

"Potter!" I screeched.

"Sorry," he apologized with a not-so-remorseful smirk. "I was disorientated."

I rolled my eyes. Teenage boys came up with the lamest excuses. "Sure you were," I replied sarcastically. I heard splashing sounds and followed them to the iron gate of the pool. Potter followed behind me, and I felt his arm wrap around my bare shoulder. I raised my eyebrow at him.

He shrugged innocently. "Just trying to keep up pretenses," Potter said as though he was talking about buying stocks for a stupidly impulsive, lying company.

"Just watch the hands," I hissed as we walked into the pool area.

His left hand slipped to my waist, and he watched his fingers as the skimmed the fabric of my dress. "I'll definitely have my eyes open."

I stomped on his foot, and he howled like a little girl. I smiled smugly.

"Oh," Petunia said as she emerged from her comatose, tanning state. "You're here." She sounded just about as excited as I was when I stepped into Madame Puddifoot's for the first time.

"Yep," I replied in a falsely cheery voice. "We made it."

"Joy," Petunia muttered.

You were telling me.

"Where's Vernon?" Potter asked her good-naturedly. Of course Potter was the only person in the entire universe immune to indifference and sarcasm. He and Black didn't even let Professor McGonagall destroy their fun.

"The house," Petunia answered dully. "He went to get me a Diet Coke."

"What's that?" Potter hissed in my ear.

"Kind of like firewhiskey," I told him. "But this one is probably worse for you."

"Muggles," Potter replied in amazement.

"Yeah," I countered. "We're just fantastic with carbonated beverages."

I jumped when Vernon opened the gate, and I watched him as he ignored us and walked straight to Petunia. I suppose it could have been worse - he could have stopped to talk to us. Or, he could have not been wearing a shirt. Oh, the mental images. My poor cerebral cortex.

'This is going to be fun," I murmured to myself.

"Looks like it," Potter, the boy with bat ears who liked to stand in people's personal space, answered back. "Did you see that slide?"

Sure enough, Vernon's pool had a twisty slide that ended in a splendid waterfall into the pool. Potter grabbed my hand in excitement. "Can we try it, Lily?" he asked eagerly. His eyes were bright with childlike anticipation. It was almost cute.

"Yes, but we have to put on sunscreen first," was my reply.

His features transformed into a pout, but he dutifully put down his towel on a beach chair and stripped off his shirt.

Smehkaleen.

Oh my Merlin. James Potter was fit.

I had never seen any male that made me feel quite as hormonal as I did in that moment. I wanted to lick every millimeter of his stomach, splash it in chocolate, and do it all over again. I licked my lips at the thought.

"Lily?" I heard. I shook my head as though I was coming out of a trance.

"I'm sorry. Were you not ready? I can start flexing if you like."

I didn't even need to look up to see the huge smirk on his face. That was good, though, because the only thing that was not mortifying for me to look at in that moment was my toes. Merlin, my face was hot. At least there was water nearby.

"I don't, I mean, I wasn't, I-" I stammered incoherently.

Potter laughed loudly. Git.

"I guess girlfriends shouldn't have to make up excuses for drooling," he teased.

"Shut up, Potter," I demanded.

"It's James," he reminded me.

"Whatever," I huffed. I looked over at Petunia. Vernon was describing something - probably a dreadfully boring something - to her, but she was only half-listening to him and nodding at certain intervals. In actuality, I was delighted to say, she was eyeing the chest of my boyfriend surreptitiously over her Diet Coke.

Yeah, Tuney. Just keep imagining Potter as that soda.

He might have been a prat, but he had his uses. Now that I had Petunia's attention, I yanked off my dress so she could see that I had failed to follow her kindhearted advice. Naturally, her eyes turned to slits, and she turned with a scoff back to Vermin. This was exactly what I had expected to happen.

However, what I was not prepared for was the quick intake of breath from the boy in front of me. At first, I wanted to cover up. My butt was too big, my stomach wasn't at all flat, and my boobs were asymmetrical. Basically, I went into full teenage girl self-esteem panic mode. But then, I saw the look in Potter's eyes. It was like he was looking at Merlin, or something. I'd never been visually worshipped before. It was kind of nice - well, in a creepy way.

"What?" I blurted out.

Potter snapped his eyes away from my chest and up to my face. "Did you say something?" he asked.

"I think you need to take your own advice, Potter," I told him cheekily.

"I think you need to remember my name, Evans," he countered.

"Damn," I cursed under my breath. "I forgot again."

"It's okay. Petunia's only watching us. She's out of listening range for now."

"That's good," I said as I began to rub sunscreen on my legs. I watched Potter's eyes follow my hands. Merlin, this boy was even more hormonal than I was.

"Quit it," I hissed at him when I was ready to do my arms, and he was still staring at me.

"Lily," Potter said in all seriousness. "As your boyfriend, it is my duty to put lotion on your back."

I rolled my eyes. "Where's that written?"

He grinned impishly at me. "I lost my copy. Very famous book, though."

"I'm sure that _The Idiots' Guide to Bullshitting _is a fascinating read," I replied sardonically.

"It'll really tick your sister off," he continued. "She's still watching us like a hawk."

I looked over his shoulder and realized that he was right. Petunia might say she wanted nothing to do with me, but she'd never been able to help herself. I was very interesting, after all.

"Fine," I assented as I handed him the bottle. Time seemed to move slower than usual as Potter sat down on a lounge chair and motioned for me to join him. Reluctantly, I sat down in front of him.

"You're enjoying this whole façade way too much," I told him out of the corner of my mouth.

"Probably," he assented. "But this is what you want."

I looked over at Petunia.

"Not just her," he corrected me in a husky voice. His hands started to massage my back with lotion. It was glorious. His thumbs traced my shoulder blades and his fingers created a weird, tingling sensation on my bare skin. "You want me too."

I fought the urges both to roll my eyes and to let them roll to the back of my head. "No, I don't," I replied stubbornly.

His fingers continued to roam my back with deliberate slowness, but he strengthened his point by adding his lips to the side of my neck. I was forced to repeat "Don't moan, don't moan," in my head several times. Despite my racing heartbeat and shallow breathing, I thought I was putting up a pretty good fight.

However, when his lips started to suck on a pressure point, a small, involuntary murmur escaped my lips. His naked chest was too close to mine. I was too warm. He smelled too much like boy. This felt too good. His teeth found my earlobe.

"I can't stop thinking about that kiss," he whispered. I could feel his breath against my neck.

"It was just for show," I said. I had to struggle to stop the shaking in my voice.

He chuckled lowly, and I knew that if he wasn't sitting so close to me and if I couldn't feel the vibrations of his stomach, I would have missed it. His lips traveled back down my neck and lingered on my collar bone. My breathing had become embarrassingly loud and forced.

With a smile tugging at his lips, he brought his mouth to the corner of my lips and kissed me with the most feather-light of caresses. I gasped at the pressure and, I'm disgusted to say, whimpered a bit when he pulled back to whisper in my ear again.

"You couldn't forget that if you tried."

Then suddenly, he was gone. He leaped off the chair and with a carefree grin stated, "Your back's done."

I nodded without comprehending, but before I had the chance to even clear my mind to try to think up a witty comeback, Potter scooped me up into his arms.

"Put me down!" I screeched shrilly.

But it was no use. With a devilish smile, he tossed me into the water. Thankfully, the water was not as cold as I had been expecting it to be in the half of a second I had to brace myself before I broke its surface. Vernon's family had obviously spent the extra money to get the pool heated.

I sputtered as I resurfaced. My hair was covering my eyes, so I pushed away the sticky, chlorine-filled tendrils out from my face. Two seconds later, Potter's wet head emerged from the water. He must have jumped in after me. I growled at his smiling face and foggy glasses.

"I'm gonna kill you for that."

Potter's smiled widened. "Just let me have a go at that slide before you put me in my coffin."

I couldn't help it; I laughed, and then I dunked him.

We spent over two hours having fun in the pool. I loved the water. Petunia and Vermin refused to join us. They stayed in the shallow end of the pool talking about boring, financial issues as Potter and I tried to find out who could get down the slide faster. I won.

After it became apparent that Petunia wanted us to leave as she tried to dry her hair from her haughty, overpriced chair, Potter and I thanked Vernon graciously for his hospitality. I made sure that there was absolutely no indication of sarcasm in our humble, plebian sentiments. Then, Potter and I apparated back to my house. This time I made sure that we went separately.

Dinner with the parental was less painful than the previous night. It was more like pulling teeth than a chainsaw massacring me in half. Without Petunia, I didn't have to work so hard to be a convincing girlfriend. However, without the buffer, my parents had nothing stopping them from firing off questions.

Potter and I pretended to be all lovey dovey, and my mum cooed at all the expected places. My dad wanted to know all of Potter's dirty little details so he could find a way to prove that he was really a serial murderer and I would have to break up with him.

Unfortunately for both of us, Potter's answers were always flawless. Berk.

I did learn some new things about him, though. For example, he played chaser because even though seekers got all the glory, chasers played a more active role in the game. He hated lima beans, but he loved anything mint. When he was three, he used to beg his mum to let him wear "big boy" pants. He could ballroom dance. Oh, and he loved me.

That was right.

Potter, bloody James Potter, told my parents, and I quote, that he "loves their daughter with his whole heart."

He better had been talking about Petunia because I didn't want his love.

At least, that's what I told him when we met up at midnight again out on the swings.

"Relax, Lily," said Potter in that irritatingly untroubled voice of his. "I was just telling your parents what they wanted to hear. You were the one who wanted me to be your boyfriend, if I recall."

I had to be sure. "So you don't really love me, right?" I asked, making sure to make the whole notion sound ridiculous.

"I'm a very good actor."

It wasn't really an answer, but I didn't have a chance to question him further because he kept talking.

"You could learn a few things from me. Our fake relationship is completely one-sided."

I sighed. I kind of figured that my complete and utter hatred of him would be a problem. I could barely even look at Potter without exposing my repulsion, unless, it seemed, when he wasn't wearing a shirt. Then, it wasn't quite as awful.

"I'm having trouble getting into character, I guess."

"Okay," replied Potter, thinking about the situation. He clapped his hands together, and I knew he had come up with something. "How about whenever something comes up that makes you feel weird or like you want to _Avada Kedavra_ me, you just ask yourself, 'What would James's girlfriend do.'"

"I don't know if that'll work."

Potter jumped up from his swing. "Here," he announced as he wrapped his arms around my torso. "Now, what would Lily Evans do in this situation?" he asked me.

"I'd elbow you in the gut and then feed you to some flobberworms."

Potter laughed. "I thought so. But what would James's girlfriend do?" he goaded.

"I dunno. She'd—I'd probably just act naturally, like we did this all the time." I looked up at Potter. "Is that a good answer?" I asked him.

"Yeah," Potter answered. "But I was kinda hoping you'd say you'd snog me senseless."

That's when I elbowed him in the gut and looked around for some flobberworms.

* * *

A/N: hello, everyone! here's chapter three! when i first got the idea for this story, the suntan lotion scene was one of the things that convinced me that this story needed telling. i really love how yummy james is. plus, i'm enjoying writing such a sarcastic character. it's a lot of fun! thank you, really, from the bottom of my heart, for all of your wonderfully positive feedback. sometimes, when i've had a long day of chemistry and calculus and family crap, it's the best feeling in the world to know that people out there like what i'm writing. i'm convinced that the only thing better would be to actually meet a boy like the ones i write about...

boy crazily yours,  
molly


	4. Unlikely Alliance

_Previously on Boyfriend:_

_Potter laughed. "I thought so. But what would James's girlfriend do?" he goaded. "I dunno. She'd—I'd probably just act naturally, like we did this all the time." I looked up at Potter. "Is that a good answer?" I asked him. "Yeah," Potter answered. "But I was kinda hoping you'd say you'd snog me senseless." That's when I elbowed him in the gut and looked around for some flubberworms._

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**Chapter Four**

**Unlikely Alliance**

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_"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going." - George Carlin_

* * *

James. James. James. James. James. James. James.

I kept repeating the name over and over in my head. No matter how many times I said it, I could not stop myself from wanting to use Potter instead. It was pure instinct backed with years of experience. Besides, boys who gave you a slimy, hopping frog on Valentine's Day when you were eleven because he thought it matched your eyes should always be known by their surname.

However, typical girlfriends did not follow my ideology. They called their boyfriends by their first name. They did not want to grimace in pain at the thought of spending time with their guy, especially when that included touching. Hell, most girlfriends even liked their boyfriend.

Maybe I just wasn't girlfriend material. I had to admit, I didn't exactly have a vault of experience. I had dated three boys in my life and none for very long. Tyler Shepherd and I were preschool lovers. Then, one day, a boy from the class gave him an action figure, and he no longer wanted to hold my sticky, peanut butter-covered hand. I got over the heartbreak with time as I attempted to heal the wounds of first love. Eventually I managed to move on to David Price in the third grade. He might have been able to run faster than anyone else in my entire class, but he didn't even talk to me after we agreed to be together. It was distressing to my already bruised heart, and I decided that he was too "icky" for me. From then on, I vowed not to date.

Then, of course, I got my letter, learned that all the weird things I could do – like float couches and send pencils zooming towards Petunia's face – were actually magic, lost my relationship with my sister indefinitely, and changed my address. At first, I only concentrated on my studies. I was hell-bent on proving to Tuney that I was a good witch. However, as my hormones kicked in, I decided to give boys and their gross germs another chance. Plus, I would be dating a magic boy. I naively convinced myself into thinking that things would be different that time.

Xavier Finn was a sophisticated Sixth Year Ravenclaw, and I was just a measly little Fourth Year at the time. He was a Prefect with wavy blonde hair and adorable dimples. I pined for him for nearly three months in secret before finally I got the chance to talk to him. He asked me if I could move my bag so that he could sit at my table in the library because everywhere else was full, and I nodded. I thought it was the single, most romantic question in the whole world. Merlin, I was stupid.

A few weeks later, we had a sort of routine down. He would sit next to me, and I would pretend to do assignments I had already completed as I snuck peeks at him. Finally, he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him. I was so blown away that he asked me out, I blabbered out a "yes" before he could even finish the question. Then, feeling confident with his obvious prowess, his lips met mine, and I experienced my very awkward first kiss. I did not know what to do with my hands, I couldn't remember what I had just eaten for dinner and whether or not my mouth would taste bad, and I pulled away as fast as I could when I felt his tongue at the base of my lips. To make matters worse, I was so petrified that I never even closed my eyes throughout the entire transaction – two seconds of pure agony. I just stared at him while he suctioned my mouth with a constipated look on his face until he pulled away. Needless to say, we did not survive long as a couple. About a week after the trip to Hogsmeade, he was in the Hospital Wing after a supposed mysterious punching potted plant ruined his generic good looks. He always flinched when he saw the Marauders and changed directions if he got in a five foot radius from Potter.

Damn!

James. It shouldn't be so hard to remember. After all, when he kissed me, I didn't have any trouble closing my eyes.

No! I shouldn't think about that. Those were bad, very awful, wrong, gross thoughts. Bad, Lily. Stop thinking about Potter!

James. James. James. James. James. James. James.

And that was the beginning of day two.

I was still repeating my mantra as I slipped into some jean shorts and a t-shirt after my shower. I made sure I was fully presentable before walking down the stairs to the kitchen. I did not want another repeat of yesterday's fiasco.

"Good morning, Lily," my mum greeted me cheerfully.

I looked around the kitchen. No Potter. Crap, no James. Ugh! Who cared about names? At least he wasn't here!

"Hi, Mum!" I greeted her enthusiastically.

"Oh, she's up finally," I heard an all too familiar voice call.

I grimaced slightly as I turned around to see my fake boyfriend in his white t-shirt and cotton drawstring pajama pants that hung too low on his hips for me to not have lusty, wrong thoughts. He brandished a bottle of orange juice like a trophy.

"I found some more juice in the garage, Mrs. Evans," he told my mum sweetly. "Wouldn't want Lily to miss out on nutrients," he added as he walked closer to greet me. He wrapped his arms around me before I could protest and then embraced me in a short hug. As he pulled back, his mouth lingered a tad too long on the base of my neck. He smiled at me and kissed me quickly on the lips.

I made a mental note to buy more minty toothpaste for myself.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he greeted me with a smile.

"Hi, Po-James," I corrected myself quickly.

My mum laughed at my mistake. "What is that, Lily, some sort of pet name?"

I grinned toothily. That might actually be interesting. "Yep," I answered her enthusiastically. "James and I have all sorts of nicknames for each other, right, honeycakes?"

"Sure, sugarlips," he replied wickedly.

"Pookie," I countered.

"Pumpkin," he retorted quickly.

"Stud muffin," I answered.

"Sweet cheeks," he challenged me with a wink.

"Jamesiekins," I fired back.

"Love," was his reply as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Sometimes, when I fought or argued with James Potter, it was really fun. I loved battling wits. It was always interesting, and I never grew tired of it. Plus, Potter, no, James was a decent combatant. He could come up with a retort, and what he lacked in cleverness he made up for in inappropriate physical contact, as the hand creeping towards my lower back could now attest. I forced a smile at him while I pinched his arm. He jumped slightly, and I had to bite back my laughter. Thankfully, Mum was examining the freezer's contents, and she didn't notice anything besides our feigned flirty banter. She sighed loudly and then pulled her head out.

"Looks like I'm going to have to go to the grocery store again," she commented halfheartedly. "I feel like I'm always there. I might as well just rent a room. I wonder if they'd put me in the produce section."

I sighed loudly. "Sorry, Mum. I think you need to work your way up to the fruits and veggies. You probably have to start in the paper products aisle."

"Well, there goes my plan in life. I'll guess I'll just have to keep being married and raising daughters," she huffed dramatically.

"Oh, the horror," I replied back tonelessly.

"James, would you think I was a dreadful mother if I decided to be lazy today and skip cooking? I was thinking about just ordering pizza."

P-p-p-James laughed and smiled fondly at her. "Trust me, Mrs. Evans; eating at your house is like being spoiled. I haven't been this well-fed in awhile. Neither of my parents are very domestic, and I doubt even the house-elves at Hogwarts could make steak like you do. You deserve a night off."

I rolled my eyes. We didn't he just start kissing her feet? Oh, maybe because his lips were still attached to her –

"Lily?"

I blinked. "Umm, yeah, sure, Mum. That's fine," I answered her vaguely.

"Great. That way you and James will have something to do tomorrow when your father and I go visit his sister."

I nodded as I pretended I knew what she was talking about. I had all but perfected the art of looking like I was paying attention while really spacing out. Professor Slughorn never knew the difference. Unfortunately, that subtle art also lead to many invitations to his infamous Slug Club gatherings. In contrast, Pott-James didn't seem to be paying attention to her either. He was too busy looking at me. His smirk told me that he knew I wasn't really listening. Stupid fake boyfriend who knew me too well.

"So I guess we'll all just stay home today," my mum continued.

I looked up at her and finally paid attention. I could stay home? Merlin, you did love me! Ahh, I could already picture it. I would finally be able to sit on my bed all day long without anyone bothering me or telling me I was being lazy or trying to get something from me. I could finish that interesting Charms book I had started last week and maybe even take an inventory on what I needed for school next year. It would just be me, my room, and Callie. Oh, I needed to clean her cage…

"I'll have Petunia bring Vernon over today. I don't want you and James home alone all day without anything to do."

Damn it all. Of course my mum would decide not to let me have my one day of vegetation because she was afraid to leave me alone with my boyfriend in case we had sex. Not going to happen, Mum! I'm not letting anything of Potter's anywhere near anything of mine. Potter's pants are staying zipped. Crap! James's pants. _Merlin, Lily, stop looking at his pants!_

I hastily diverted my gaze as my face burned. Potte-James smirked at me and rocked back on his heels self-importantly. Git.

I tried to compose my face. Sure, I was bloody disappointed as hell, but I didn't want my mum to know that. She might think it was because of the lack of alone time with my boyfriend – in a sex way. Vomit.

"Okay," I agreed with a sigh. I might as well just have waved a white flag in the air because, Merlin, this was defeat.

My mum stared at me with a look of bewilderment on her face.

"What?" I asked self-consciously.

"Nothing, really," she replied with a sigh. "It's just the usually you throw a tantrum if I even mentioned you spending time with your sister for more than five minutes."

Of course! In my major freak out about gonad interaction between myself and the buzzkill next to me, I completely forgot that I despised my sister. All of this deceit was really starting to take a toll on my inner psyche. How I wish I could be lounging in my bed with Hestia right now…

"Yeah," I heard myself offer unconvincingly. "Petunia and Vernon are just really great to hang out with. I love it." I fidgeted with my hands after I added the last bit. My tone was so disgusted that no one would ever even need to think about using Veritaserum on me.

Mum, however, was so happy to hear that Petunia and I were ready to sing kum-bay-yah together and braid each other's hair till dawn as we discussed the alleged sex we may or may _definitely_ not be having with our varying level of significance in our others that she didn't seem too suspicious of my lackluster performance. With a few last words and a rushed good bye, she hurried out the door for some sort of errand that I couldn't even remember.

Potter, no, James turned to me when we both were sure she was gone and started snickering. He leaned over a kitchen chair, and I got a pretty good view of the chest I had seen yesterday through the collar of his blue shirt. Mentally, I tried to imagine the skin even further down, and then I gulped. I shook my head and directed my attention back to his always smirking face.

"I'm not sure if I should cry or applaud. That was either the worse attempt at acting ever or the most undisguised sarcasm I've ever seen. Tell me, Lily, how deep does your sacred relationship with Petty and Vermin go?"

I, in a completely conscious effort to put more space between us now that there was no one to fool, sank down into a chair and let my head bang down onto the kitchen table. I groaned and then gazed back up at his amused expression. "How much do I have to pay you to forget that statement?" I asked him despairingly.

He scoffed as he tossed me a crooked smile that might or might not have been very attractive. "You don't have enough galleons."

"Ugh," I complained loudly.

Pot-t-t-James chuckled quietly to himself. "Here, I'll make you a deal. I'll make myself scarce for a couple of hours so you can do whatever, and then I'll be back to act as a buffer between you and the couple from hell."

I smiled widely. It was the first time I had truly appreciated someone's behavior in a few days. What was more surprising, however, was that the person making me smile was the same boy who had once stolen a pair of my knickers and then showed it to all of his friends.

Potte – no, James was surprised by my reaction. Scratch that. That was an understatement. He was completely nonplussed. I swear to Merlin that his hand flew to his mop of hair just to make sure it was still there. "Am I mistaken, or did I actually do something right?" he asked me.

I rolled my eyes. "There has to be a first time for everything, Po-James," I rejoined.

"Go hide in your room and fiddle with your James Potter voodoo doll. I'll see you later, love."

After reminding him that under no circumstances was he ever allowed to call me love unless he enjoyed castration, which, in his case, probably wouldn't be that painful considering there was not much to do, I did exactly what he told me to do. However, I didn't have an actual voodoo doll of him. Maybe I could ask Hestia to make one for me for Christmas.

Anyways, after listening to my newest muggle record while sorting through my closet and realizing I had much too many shoes to fit comfortably in their allotted space, I passed out on my bed. It was glorious.

The waking up part, that was always the part that was less fun. If sleeping were having sex, waking up would mean that you were pregnant with nine months of uncontrollable emotions and having to pee every five minutes to look forward to. Merlin, I disliked being a girl.

"Lily, get up, your sister's here."

"No," I wailed as I contorted my body to avoid the noise.

"Lily, please, love, you have to get up. Your sister's boyfriend might try to eat me," the voice continued with a light chuckle at the end. I knew that voice. Potter. Damn, I was too tired to remember to be his girlfriend.

"Go away," I told him.

"Come on, love," he coaxed as he brushed his thumb against my cheek softly.

"Why are you even here?" I moaned grumpily.

"I'm pretending to be your boyfriend," he whispered to me obviously.

"No," I groaned as I twisted and turned to avoid him as I smacked his hands away from me. "Why don't you just go home to your own house or to one of your bloody Marauders?"

His hands stopped pestering me, and he was quiet for a moment as if he was thinking about something very important.

"Lily," he said with a bit of forced laughter. "If you don't wake up right now, I'm going to look through your stuff, and you won't be able to stop me from seeing anything personal and private and potentially embarrassing," he threatened.

I opened my eyes and jumped off my bed. I now felt completely energized. P – James was leaning against my bed with amusement splashed on his face. I narrowed my eyes.

"It's a shame you got up so quickly. I was hoping you keep a diary somewhere," said Pot-t-t-James, back to his normal self, as his eyes roamed my room.

Thank Merlin I had been straightening it, up and I had already done my laundry. I didn't know what I'd do if James Potter saw my bra again.

"Dear Diary," he continued in a high-pitched girly voice. "Today I received twenty O's on every assignment, and I was asked out by Potter five more times than that. I said no, of course. But only to prove to everyone that I don't like him when really I'm madly in love with him and his godlike physique."

"Was that supposed to be me?" I asked him in a horrified voice as I sat back down on my bed.

"So it sounds familiar?" he replied with a crooked grin. He sat down next to me, and I scooted over to avoid him.

I crossed my arms firmly and rolled my eyes. "In your sick, perverted dreams, Potter."

"Oh," he assured me as he fiddled with the pillow from my bed. "We usually don't sit around reading in my subconscious," he finished with a wicked smirk. Merlin, he sent me that knee-jerking smirk a lot. Either he had a smiling problem, it was a nervous habit, or he just had a sick, sick mind. Hell, it was probably a mix of all three. _Gah, stop smiling at me Potter, er James!_

I was too disgusted to even dignify that with a response. "My sister's here?" I asked as I grabbed my pillow from him and placed it back in its spot on my bed.

"Yes, she and Vermin are here. Shall we go face our inevitable doom?" he asked as he offered me his hand.

_What would James's girlfriend do? _I sighed and grabbed his hand. "Well, I can't exactly stay in bed all day with you," I answered. Immediately, I realized the implication of my words, and my face turned bright red. _Way to go, Lily._

"Damn," I heard him say quietly as he looked back at me wistfully.

I resisted the urge to squirm underneath his gaze. It was a very brief moment, but I felt like it was longer. Nevertheless, he composed himself and escorted me out of my room. When we reached the kitchen, Petunia and Vernon were already there.

"Let's have some fun," P-p-p-James hissed in my ear.

Ugh. I knew that look. The last time his eyes bore that much mischief, the entire Great Hall had been covered with green, unvanishable goo. Apparently, it was meant to symbolize something negative about the Slytherins after they beat Gryffindor in a Quidditch match. Thank Merlin we had beat them in the Final. I could hardly imagine what the Marauders would have done then.

Obviously, Potter's expression did not make me want to skip around in circles and attempt to sing. I sighed tiredly and vaguely wondered if karma had anything to do with this. I followed Potter-er-er-James's gaze, which was directed towards Vermin. Well, as long as I was thinking about karma…

"Fine," I hissed into Potter's, crap, James's ear. "We just can't physically hurt him."

His grin widened. "Really, Lily?" he whispered into my ear as he traced my hand with his thumb. "What do you take me for, an amateur? I'm much more creative than that," he said before winking coyly at me. Then he kissed me quickly because there were people around, and he knew I couldn't do anything about it.

Bloody git.

It felt weird that I was agreeing to do something willingly with Potter. Still, we were joining together for one singular purpose: to annoy my sister. Surely, there could not be anything wrong with that?

"So, Vinod," began Po-James loudly.

"Vernon," Vernon corrected him with a grunt. He looked positively ordinary today. His dark hair was parted perfectly, and his face was ruddy with ancient disapproval.

"Ahh, my mistake," apologized Pott-James with a careless tone. His suaveness reminded me of when he would purposefully hex someone and then try to flirt with Professor McGonagall to weasel his way out of detention. "It must have slipped my mind. That's weird, isn't it, love? Because you're always speaking so highly of Vernon. You even have a nickname for him, don't you, Lily?"

I silently cursed whatever god created seventeen-year-old boys. I jabbed Potter in the gut and nonverbally tried to get him to shut up. Looking at Petunia, who seemed like she was about to swallow her tongue, I noticed she was trying to do the same thing. _I know, Tuney, Potter ruined my life too_. It just so happened that my devastation happened daily. Ahh, hell. Why couldn't I remember to call him James? What would James's girlfriend do? _What would James's girlfriend do?_

I chuckled lightly. "Yes, sometimes I call you, uh.." I trailed off. _Come on, Lily, think!_ "Driller," I invented miraculously. "Because you work with drills."

Po-po-James stared at me in incredulity. Then, it hit me. Oh, Merlin. That was so wrong. Tell me I did not just call him that. That was disturbing on so many levels. Why hadn't I just called him Humper or Sir-Screws-A-Lot?

P—James cleared his throat, and I could hear the laughter he was barely able to restrain. "So, V-Man, how long have you had a mustache for?"

Vernon's face turned the oddest color of puce, and Petunia looked like she was contemplating a double murder. If she wasn't Petunia, I might have felt bad for her.

Vernon, whose actual first name I could apparently remember to use, grunted back some sort of response in a very dignified, self-important sort of way. Merlin, it was just a bit of facial hair. You'd think he had found a panacea above his upper lip.

"I thought about growing one," replied Po-James back. I looked at him and rolled my eyes. I doubted he even had enough testosterone to grow one. "But wizards are more inclined to beards. I guess mustaches are more of a muggle thing."

"Muggle?" echoed Vernon, offended.

"Oh, right. I guess you're not up on the terminology. Muggle means that you're not magical," Potte-James informed him.

"No, I'm ruddy not," Vernon assured him defiantly.

"Ahh, that's okay, mate. I'm sure drills are fun too," Potte-James replied. His tone seemed politely indifferent, but I could tell he was getting way too much amusement out of this by the way his eyes sparkled behind his glasses.

"Vernon does very well for himself," Petunia announced haughtily. "Just recently he was promoted to Assistant Manager. In just a few years he'll probably have his own corner office."

Merlin, everything's a competition with my sister. She needed to have the prettiest clothes and the nicest hair and the most popular friends. Hell, now she was even trying to have the better boyfriend. I mean, Pott-James might be as annoying, but at least he was better than Vermin.

"That's great, Tuney," I commented dully. Then, I smiled warmly at Po-James, and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple. I fought the urge to grimace. _What would James's girlfriend do? Oooh! _"Did you know that James once transfigured a bloke into a tea cozy? It was very impressive. I bet he'd even give both of you a demonstration. What's the incantation?" I asked as I turned to Po-James. "Oh, that's right," I continued, not waiting for him to respond. "Bibidi-bopidi-boo."

Potter looked at me like I was insane. I smiled at him to make him go along with it. Petunia didn't know anything about magic at all, so it was better to play off the fairytales of when we were little. That way, she would more frightened than if I had actually said a legitimate incantation.

"Lily," Petunia threatened slowly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tuney. I forgot. You don't really like magic, do you?"

Okay, I was being petty and sinking to her level. It was wrong. It was juvenile. But, _damn_, did it feel good.

Petunia smiled in that creepy way of hers. It was a stomach-churning grimace in which she looked like she was trying to kill you with many tiny, pointy, hot daggers as she flashed her bleached white teeth at me. She grabbed my arm and dug her nails into my skin.

"Ouch!" I yelped as she broke skin.

"Excuse us for a second," Petunia said in a quasi-calm voice that reminded me of every horror film I'd ever seen.

I attempted to fight her off, but her ridiculous upper body strength escorted me roughly to the bathroom until she shut the door behind us.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"Umm, I'm not sure," I said honestly and with a bit of glibness, too. "Do you have to pee, or something? Because if that's the case, I'd like to be elsewhere."

"You know what this is about, so don't even play dumb with me, Lily," Petunia said as she waved her perfectly manicured finger in my face. "You know that I hate it when you talk about unnatural stuff. Why do you have to parade it in front of my boyfriend, too? You'll scare him away. He's going to make something of himself. He'll take care of me, unlike your little freak show. Why can't you just be happy for me instead of trying to drive him away? Can't you see that I'd rather be with him than associate myself with freaks like you?"

I willed away the moisture in my eyes. "Are you even listening to yourself, Tuney? How can you say stuff like that to me? I'm your sister!"

She sniffed in my direction. "Yeah, well, you can't choose your family."

I slammed my hands against the sink of the bathroom. "Apparently," I rejoined.

"Don't make me seem like the bad guy, Lily. You've always been jealous of me. That's why you brought your boyfriend over in the first place. You just want to use James to show up Vernon. Well, it's not going to work."

"Yeah, because Vermin's a real upstanding gentleman! At least James actually cares enough about me to tolerate my family."

"I knew you called him that behind my back!" Petunia accused.

"Well, at least that's better than calling someone a freak to their face," I told her angrily.

"Well, it's the truth," she said firmly.

"You know what, Petunia?" I replied back loudly. "If my existence bothers you so much maybe you should just go marry Vernon Dursley. That way you can forget you were even related to me at all!"

I opened the door, walked out of the bathroom, and then slammed it shut. Then, I stormed back into the kitchen, yanked open the freezer, grabbed the first fattening thing I could find, grabbed Potter by the collar of his shirt, and headed outside, leaving Vernon and Petunia staring after me.

"Merlin, I can't stand her!" I fumed as I paced back and forth on the porch. "She makes me so angry. Why is she so obsessed with what everyone else thinks? You know, if a fashion magazine said that magic was trendy, she'd come crawling back to me in a heartbeat. Not that I need her anyway. I don't like her. She doesn't want me, well, then I don't want her either. I don't need her. She was never a good big sister. I always had to be the responsible one. She never wanted anything to do with me. Merlin, she's impossible!"

"Breathe, Lily," Potter, ahh, crap, James urged me.

"And, I'll tell you one more thing. I am not apologizing to her. I didn't do anything wrong."

"Sure you didn't," he assured me soothingly as he grabbed my shoulders and forced me down onto a bench next to him.

"I can't believe I'm even related to her. I'm much more even-tempered and tolerant than she is."

Potter—James chuckled quietly to himself.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he assured me lightly. He smiled at me as he moved my hair, which had fallen all over my face as I threw my tantrum, behind my ear. "You know, girls are so bloody complicated, especially Evans women. When blokes want to one-up each other, they just compare the size of their wands."

I laughed loudly as I began to calm down against my will. His hand rubbing circles on my bare shoulder didn't help me stay angry.

"I'm serious," Pot-James continued. "Whenever one of my mates and I get into an argument, I just whip out my eleven inches of mahogany." He winked at me as he brandished his wand and sent out a bunch of red sparks while smirking roguishly at me.

"You're ridiculous," I told him as I began to laugh hysterically against my better judgment.

"Do you want to hear something even more absurd?" he whispered in my ear as he put his wand back into the pocket of his jeans.

"What?" I volunteered.

"Vermin doesn't even have a wand," he replied back with delight.

I started giggling like mad with him as we broke out into hysterics. Hugging his side, Potter, um, James handed me a fudgesicle from the box I had blindly picked out. Graciously, I accepted the dessert and opened the wrapper. I reveled in the delicious chocolate goodness.

"Mmm," I voiced. "I haven't eaten these since Petunia and I were kids."

"Would you two spend the summers together?" he asked me as he reached for his own fudgesicle.

"She was my best friend," I told him sadly. "We used to spend all of the summer together putting on plays. She always got to be the pretty princess, and I had to be the frog or the witch or the evil stepsister. Obviously, we fought all the time, of course. It wasn't like it is now, though. It was just us being normal." I laughed humorlessly when I said the word. "I don't think there are any sisters in the world who don't fight."

"Especially when they are Evans women," Potter, no, James added.

I laughed. "Yes, especially then," I agreed.

"And now you two fight about much more complex issues," he said intuitively. It wasn't a question.

"Yes," I answered him. "The walls in my house are thin, aren't they?"

"Yes," he admitted sheepishly. "Thanks for defending my honor," Potter—James thanked me with a teasing tone.

I shrugged. "What would James's girlfriend do?"

"Aha!" he exclaimed. "I knew it'd work."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I grumbled. "You came up with something smart for once."

"Once?" he questioned in mock outrage. "I don't know if you were visiting China before, but I thought I got a couple of pretty good jabs at Vermin before."

"Oh, Merlin," I choked out through fits of laughter. "I didn't know what was going to happen first: Petunia's head exploding or Vernon ripping off his mustache."

"My money's on the V-man," Po-James told me with an obvious effort to seem serious.

I laughed as I worked on my fudgesicle. Ahh, they really were amazing. I licked the side of it to stop the chocolate from running down onto my fingers.

"Ahh," groaned Potte-James as he shut his eyes. He sounded like he was in pain.

"What's the matter?"

"Could you stop with the fudgesicle for a bit, Lily? You're making things hard for me."

"Oh," I said simply. Then I realized what you meant. "Oh!" I exclaimed with wide eyes. "Gross!" I shrieked as I smacked him in the arm.

"You're the one slurping away over there."

"It's a _fudgesicle_," I told him stubbornly.

"Looks like mahogany to me," he replied with an impious grin.

I slapped my forehead in disgust. "You have just ruined one of my childhood memories," I told him. I wanted to sound furious, but sadly, I sounded rather amused.

"Sorry, love," he apologized as he leaned over to kiss my cheek. "You've just ruined all forms of popsicles for me forever. Probably even bananas and sausages, too."

"Well, you deserve it," I told him.

He laughed and pulled me closer to him. I rolled my eyes. Bloody, hormonal git.

"Pizza!" I heard my mum's voice call.

Pott-James jumped up to his feet with an eagerness that made me want to laugh. He grabbed my hand to pull me up to my feet and then we walked inside together.

"Quick," I hissed in his ear as we made our way to the kitchen. "Is there any way you can ruin pizza with your sick mind?"

Potter, the boy also known as James, fluffed my hair with his fingers. "Give me ten minutes," he replied.

After dinner had been cleared, I was still safe to eat pizza again. However, pepperoni and all thoughts of it and its counterpart, sausage, were forevermore off the menu.

Dinner had been quite an affair tonight. It's odd how a family can ignore so much obvious tension with small talk. My parents chatted about the new shopping center opening across town, Vernon and Pot-James seemed to have had a "who could eat more pizza contest," which, surprisingly, James won, and Petunia tried her very, very best to ignore my presence from across the table. However, when she didn't complain about the trans fat or remember to wipe down her pizza meticulously with a napkin before cutting it into exactly five centimeter squares, I knew she was inwardly fuming. And because I would _never_ lie, that fact made me all sorts of happy.

My dad came over to hug me before I went to bad.

"Night, Lils," he said warmly as he leaned down to kiss the top of my head.

"Night, daddy," I replied back with a smile.

He fidgeted before he released me from his embrace.

"Lils, there's nothing wrong with you and Petunia, is there? You two seemed angry at dinner."

Perceptive old Dad.

"Just the usual," I told him with a shrug.

"Ahh, sisters," he said as he shook his head. "I only see mine a few times a year, and it's about enough to drive me insane."

I laughed. "How was Aunt Charlotte today?"

Dad rolled his eyes. "At least we weren't competing over who had the better boyfriend," he told me with a laugh.

"Daddy!" I exclaimed.

He laughed fully. "Sorry, Lils. I'm sure that's not what's going on." He paused to gauge my reaction. "Still, would you take it easy on your old man and just go back to playing with dolls like when you were younger? I don't think my fatherly nerves can take much more."

I smiled sadly. "You know you're still my best guy," I told him sincerely.

He smiled back and kissed my forehead. "That's good to hear, baby girl. Sweet dreams, Lils," he said.

"Night, daddy," I replied before retiring to my room.

I lay in my bed for a while until it was time to go meet Po-t-t-James outside for our usual midnight meeting.

"Okay," I asked slowly. "Let me clarify this one more time. You, James Potter, collect spoons?"

His face turned bright red that was oddly distorted by the moonlight. "Well, you collect unicorn figurines!" he rejoined defensively.

"How'd you know that?" I asked suspiciously.

"They're all over your room," he stated obviously. "And I don't collect spoons. I buy them for my mum. She keeps a decorative case of spoons from all the places she's visited."

"Your mum?" I asked. "What—"

"You never told me what your parents do, Lily," he cut me off hastily. "I've spent nearly three full days here, and I still don't know much about them."

"Well," I said. "Dad works as an engineer. Basically, he designs and invents things for a living."

"That sounds interesting," Potter said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Most of the time he's just fiddling in his office and sneaking phone calls to my mum. They're hopelessly in love," I said, rolling my eyes.

"And does your Mum appreciate all the phone calls?"

"In the summer, I think she does enjoy them. She teaches second grade at the local grammar school, so she gets pretty bored without her little kids running around."

"Ahh, I wish I could have hung out with more little kids."

"You would have the same maturity level," I reminded him.

He stuck his tongue out at me and then ruffled his hair. "No, I just missed out on a lot. I never really talked to kids my age until I went to Hogwarts. I don't have any siblings."

"I assure you, they're not all they're cracked up to be."

He laughed. "It seems like a dodged a hex."

"Especially in Petunia's case," I murmured.

"You complain, Lily, but I know you love her," he told me.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied back unenthusiastically. "Now, you haven't really told me anything about your family. Don't your parents miss you? I can barely even imagine what my parents would do if I just picked up and left for three days. I think my dad would have called the Navy by this point. Don't they care that you're here? What about your friends?"

Potte-James stopped swinging and turned to face me. He took a deep breath and distracted himself by messing up his hair. "My parents are aurors, Lily. My mum and dad met in Hogwarts, and they've been together since their Sixth Year. Ever since I was little, they've had to leave for months at a time to go on secret missions. Times are getting darker, and they were commissioned to leave again a few days ago," he paused as he looked down at the ground underneath his swing. He cleared his throat before continuing. "I don't like it when they leave. It's pretty unbearable actually. I'm always wondering if they'll return in the same condition as before or even at all. It's horrible. I hate it."

"Why don't you go live with your grandparents for a while?"

He smiled poignantly. "My parents are older. Their parents died when I was only a toddler."

"Then your friends' houses?" I suggested.

"Sirius has been really busy with his own familial issues," he said in a guarded voice as he shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Peter is touring France, and Remus isn't usually in a position to have guests over the summer. I needed to distract myself and to have fun. So I came to visit the only other person who I wanted to see."

"You came to see me," I realized.

"Yeah, that's why I'm here, Lily," he validated. "I came to see you."

His hazel eyes peered into mine with an intense smoldering. There were so many unspoken questions that I wanted answers to, but I knew he wouldn't answer them tonight.

"Of course," he continued as he hopped up from his seat. "This trip had the unexpected bonus of being upgraded from prick to boyfriend."

I jumped off of my swing too and chortled quietly as I followed him towards the house. "Always the optimist, James."

He stopped mid-step, and his face shattered into the most glorious smile.

"You remembered to call me James!" he congratulated as he hugged me tightly and lifted me off the ground.

I smiled back. "I guess I did."

* * *

hello, everyone! ahh. this chapter was interesting for me to write. with every chapter, i keep having to change all of my inadvertent "jameses" to "potters." haha. so it was neat to have lily do the opposite for the entire chapter. ahh. i hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. tell me what you like, or, gasp, what you didn't! =D and, sincerely, thank you for all the superbly wonderful response to this story. it truly means the world to me. however, i feel it is my duty to inform you that as MUCH as i appreciate it, you should not:  
A) give up sleep  
B) not study for exams  
C) get unrealistic expectations for the rather lackluster teenage males out there  
or  
D) all of the above

after reading my story. haha. i want the very best for all of my beautiful readers. though, i do very much appreciate your enthusiasm, and i love hearing about you all in your wonderful reviews. speaking of which, if you have any story recommendations (even if it's your own), i would love to read them! have a fabulous day!

summer anticipatingly yours,  
molly


	5. Envious Errands

Previously on Boyfriend:

___He stopped mid-step, and his face shattered into the most glorious smile.__"You remembered to call me James!" he congratulated as he hugged me tightly and lifted me off the ground.__I smiled back. "I guess I did."_

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**Envious Errands**

* * *

_"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." _

_Ralph Waldo Emerson_

"Lily, get up."

I rolled over and avoided the fingers digging mercilessly into my shoulders.

"Lily," the voice insisted. "I am in no mood for this, nor do I have the time."

I cautiously peeked my eyes open at the person who was swatting me incessantly and tugging at my hair. Petunia. Wonderful.

"Go away," I moaned grumpily.

"That's what I'm trying to do," she huffed angrily.

"Well, do it faster," I replied as I aimed a kick at her.

"God, Lily, you are so horrible sometimes!"

I sighed. Is it weird that I thought she was right? I mean, on the surface, I was the perfect child. I never did anything wrong, I'd never received a detention, and I'd never even skipped a homework assignment. I only had two piercings, one for each ear, and I'd never had anything tattooed. Yet, I always felt this nagging sense that I just wasn't a good person. Maybe it was the witch thing. I never really felt the same way since I found out I was different. I was raised to be normal, and according to most religions, I was an abomination. Even though my parents loved me and seemed perfectly happy about my real nature, I still wondered what life would have been like if I just could have been normal for them. My relationship with Petunia would have been different. That much, I was sure.

I groaned. Merlin, I should not think in the mornings. I started trying to find logic in_ Petunia's_ words.

"Well, so are you!" I replied lamely and far too late.

"Ugh," she grumbled. "I'm spending the day with Vernon. Mother wants you to go grocery shopping because she and Dad won't be back until late tonight. You're on your own for dinner. Your boyfriend is reading my newspaper downstairs in the kitchen," added Petunia, wrinkling her nose at the thought.

"You hate reading the newspaper. You hate reading!" I reminded her as I begrudgingly forced my carcass up into an attempt at a sitting position.

Petunia clicked her tongue angrily. "Yeah, well, I would still like the option!" she defended herself prissily as she tugged on her blonde hair.

"Wait," I realized. "If James is downstairs, why didn't you just tell him all of this!"

Petunia grimaced. "Like I would voluntarily talk to a freak!"

"You call me a freak all the time, and you're talking to me," I pointed out to her rationally.

I smiled as I watched her blue eyes bulge and her mouth turn into a frown. Her eyes narrowed, and I knew I had managed to outsmart my older sister even in my early morning stupor.

"Yeah, well, you're my ruddy sister!" she huffed dramatically. "I'm going to be with Vernon," she declared before storming out of my room and slamming the door behind her.

Grabbing my pillow and inhaling its wonderful just-out-of-the-dryer scent, I laughed as I heard her heels clank as she raced down the stairs angrily.

Day three of this whole façade was turning out to be an interesting day.

No longer able to neither sleep nor ignore the grumbling of my stomach, I wrapped my robe around my tank top and shorts and sauntered downstairs. When I entered the kitchen, I found James sipping coffee and examining the paper.

"Morning," he greeted me from over his mug. "There's more coffee in the pot."

I nodded and poured myself some.

"Sleep well?" he asked me courteously as I poured some cream and two sugars into my coffee.

"Yeah, it was okay. You?" I asked because I felt that it was a necessary nicety.

"Okay," he replied back with a smirk on his face. His tone oozed secrecy.

I sat down in the chair beside him and pulled my feet up to my chest.

"I'm not even going to ask," I told him with a sigh.

He chuckled into his mug. "Fine, then I won't tell you."

I looked over at James. He was already dressed in tan cargo shorts and a burgundy red T-shirt. My eyes strayed over the place where his sleeve met his tanned bicep. I followed the sinews in his arm down to his hand, which was hovering over the newspaper with a pen waiting to be used. I leaned over him to glimpse at the paper. Merlin, he was filling out the morning crossword!

"What's a five-letter word for the best boyfriend in the world?"

"Hmm," I mused as I pretended to think about. "Prick?" I offered brightly.

The corners of his mouth quirked as I saw him mime out filling in the boxes as he said, "James," letter by letter.

After that, he went back to filling it out for real. I chuckled. It was just too ordinary for James Potter.

"What?" he asked me as he abandoned his position to turn and smile at me crookedly.

"You're using a pen," I replied with a laugh.

"Mmm," he replied as he looked down at the small plastic object and twirled it between his fingers with Quidditch coordination. "It's the only thing Vernon seemed to want to talk to me about yesterday."

I snorted a bit. "Scintillating conversation."

"Truly," he agreed with me sarcastically. "Though, I must admit, they make things much easier. I'd much rather write essays on paper with a pen than on parchment with a quill."

"But then it wouldn't be as, well, as magical," I explained as I struggled to find the right words to express my sentiments. For some reason, using normal writing utensils would just diminish the mystique and wonder of the whole wizarding world. I couldn't imagine Hogwarts with fax machines and fluorescent light bulbs. To me, the lack of technology made it feel less primitive.

James shrugged. "I guess," he said. "But it would be more practical. I've always found that muggles produce the most fascinating things," he said as he winked at me.

I rolled my eyes as I grabbed a piece of toast from off of his plate.

"Hey!" he argued as he tried to grab it back.

Quickly, I shoved it into my mouth with a large grin on my face. I swallowed before grinning hugely at him.

"Too late!" I teased in a sing-song voice.

"That was my last piece!" he complained.

"And it tasted really good," I commented with a smile as I licked my fingers just to incite him. I grinned even wider as I saw his eyes peel in anger.

"It's a good thing no one else is here. I don't have to pretend to like you," he teased.

I contorted my face into an expression of mock horror. "Jerk," I retorted as I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Brat," replied James, matching my feigned tone with amusement sparkling behind his glasses.

"I'm damn likeable!" I argued.

"Sure," he agreed sarcastically, but his smile gave him away.

"You're no dream date either," I rebuked.

"But, love, I'm your boyfriend," he reminded me in a cheesy voice as he draped his arm over my shoulder and let his hand caress the silky material of my robe.

"Only because the Giant Squid called in sick," I told him as I shot out of my chair to avoid his arm.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"We have to go grocery shopping. I think we should leave soon so that we have actual food in this house for dinner."

"Sounds good," he complied.

I fiddled with the tie of my robe. "I'm going to go take a shower. Try not to miss me too much," I said with a wink.

I held back my snigger as I felt his eyes on me while walking away.

I showered quickly and put on some denim shorts and a salmon pink, flowy shirt with cap sleeves and a rather deep scoop neck. I dried my hair with my wand and then threw it up into a ponytail. As I waited for James to finish up whatever he was doing in the guest room, which I could only presume was finding a way to make his ridiculous hair even more ludicrously messy, I ate a quick sandwich for lunch. It was my personal experience that going grocery shopping on an empty stomach typically led to trying to buy out the entire store.

I was just finishing the last bit of my tuna sandwich when James walked in. Yep, I was right. His hair did look even more purposefully disheveled. Biting my lip to stop myself from commenting and poking fun at his precious male ego, I walked over to the kitchen table and looked for a grocery list. I knew my mum. She would leave me a detailed list and instructions for how the day should go. Even though I was already an adult in the wizarding world and practically one in hers, she still didn't trust me to tie my shoes by myself. I guess it was a good thing I was wearing flip-flops.

I searched the table, but I didn't find anything. That was odd. She'd never just leave without a note reminding me to buy tampons at the store even if I was embarrassed doing so in front of male cashiers.

"Looking for this?" James asked me as he whipped out a piece of paper from his pocket along with some muggle money.

"Why do you have that?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Your mum gave it to me. She said I'd be less likely to spend it on sweets than you would."

"She obviously doesn't know you very well," I muttered mostly to myself.

"You're just jealous because your mum loves me more than you," he teased.

"Yeah, right," I scoffed as I attempted to grab the papers from his grasp.

"Not so fast," he warned me as he lifted his arm high into the air.

Damn his height! Damn my lack thereof! I peeled my eyes at him, and he smirked down at me. High and mighty git. "Potter," I threatened.

"Evans," he teased back.

"I will hex you," I promised.

He stared down at me like he was negotiating with an unworthy opponent. "Then I'd have to disarm you."

"I'm faster."

"I beat you on the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L."

"No, you didn't!" I argued in outrage. "That was a fluke! My scorer should have given me an _Outstanding_. He was just being a prick."

James laughed loudly. "I still beat you, though," he continued as he stretched his hand even farther into the air.

I had too much dignity to jump in the air to try to retrieve it, so I did the next best thing. I whipped out my wand and summoned it. The list and the money zoomed to my hand, and I grinned triumphantly at James's shocked expression.

"Look who won now," I countered.

He shook his head. "Lily, you never cease to amaze me," James said as he bended down to kiss the top of my head. I swatted his face away.

"C'mon, let's go loverboy."

"Oh, no ruddy way in hell."

"Come on, James! It's just a car!" I told him.

"That's not a car. That's a death trap," replied James, eyeing the vehicle in front of us with a nauseated expression.

I examined the car. It was an older model, but it was still in very good condition. It had an engine and four wheels. Basically, I didn't need anything more. I only used it in the summer anyway, and that was only when Petunia didn't have it. Besides, it was red and had leather seats.

"It's fine. You're overreacting," I told James.

"Still," he argued apprehensively as his hands reached for his hair, an action which made his t-shirt ride up to reveal the slightest centimeter of skin. "I would feel more comfortable if we apparated."

"And that would be quicker, but then we would not have any place to put the groceries," I pointed out logically.

"Maybe your mum can just go tomorrow. We can eat whatever's left in the fridge."

"James," I said with a laugh. "The only thing left in the fridge is a jar of pickles and some mustard."

He fidgeted and took a step backwards. "Well, then I guess we can just order in food again tonight."

"Are you afraid to ride in the car, Potter?" I teased him with a shrewd smile. Something about James Potter, Quidditch Extraordinaire, being frightened by something as trivial and commonplace as a car tickled me tremendously.

"No," he replied too quickly and too feebly.

My grinned widened. "Good," I said as I grabbed his arm and forced him into the passenger seat on the left side. "Then you won't have any problems with me driving you."

As I shut the door, I swore I saw him jump a tad in his seat. Merlin, this was entertaining. Smiling smugly, I sauntered over to the driver's side, buckled myself in, and put the key into the ignition.

James glanced at me from his seat. He was grasping his own seat belt so tightly that the knuckles on his fingers were turning white. "You're sure this is safe?" he asked me.

"Of course," I said breezily.

"And you know how to drive properly?"

"It's like flying a broom," I told him, using a well-known wizard expression.

James nodded shakily and then placed his hands in his lap and prepared himself for the drive.

I laughed wickedly as I revved the engine and rapidly pulled out of the driveway before hastily switching gears and speeding down the road.

"Lily!"

Halfway through the ride, James either stopped being such a baby or finally peed his pants and started to enjoy the ride. I found his fascination rather annoying. He continued to roll the windows up and down no matter how many times I explained to him that they only did the one thing. He insisted that I show him what the windshield wipers did. Then he wanted to see it eight more times. He locked and unlocked the doors at least fifty times in a two-minute period. Merlin, I was ready to kill him. However, when I finally turned on the radio to try to block him out and keep myself from slamming his side of the car into a tree, I could not help but to be amused. James started to sing along to the muggle pop stars with made-up lyrics. I was almost in tears from my laughter as I pulled into a parking spot.

"You should never sing in public," I told him as I tried to calm my hysterics and flushed face.

"What?" James asked indignantly. "I thought I was rather fetching."

"Yeah," I retorted as I rolled my eyes. "As in I need to fetch myself a new pair of eardrums because mine died two kilometers ago."

James let out a huge laugh. "Ahh," he sighed as he unbuckled himself and opened the door. "I need to get a car of my own. They might take longer, but they're bloody fun! Maybe I can drive on the way back home?"

I tensed up on the word "home." It was weird that James felt so attached to my house. I let it slide, and plastered a smile to my face. "I don't think so. I would like to end the day with dinner, not a trip to the hospital."

"But, Lily, I wouldn't crash it!" he persisted.

"Maybe another time," I told him.

"Okay," he pouted immaturely. He crossed his arms around his chest and sighed like a little kid who had just been told he couldn't get the toy he wanted.

"C'mon, James. Let's go buy some food," I said in an effort to cheer him up.

It worked. He jumped out of the car, quickly ran over to my side, and pulled me to my feet before dragging me by my left hand into the store. He wasn't a fake boyfriend. He was my own personal toddler. Maybe I should use one of the children's shopping carts with the toy trucks in the front. Then he'd finally get the chance to drive.

Still towing me along, James entered the store. We grabbed a shopping cart, sadly the normal kind, and started with the produce section. I fished through my pockets and pulled out my mum's list. "Okay, so we need strawberries, apples, tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, and mushrooms."

James nodded and then helped me maneuver around the tree-hugging, animal-loving, organic-buying muggles. He smirked as he put one extra item in the cart. I looked down and saw a bunch of bananas. I rolled my eyes.

"Really?" I asked.

He laughed. "Maybe we can buy some more fudgesicles, too," he replied as he winked at me.

Against my better judgment, I laughed too.

As more time wore on, James and I had only made it halfway through the list, but our cart was nearly full from all the items James felt we needed and threw into the cart when I wasn't looking. I was sure my mum would appreciate all the candy and sweets that apparently were positively necessary for survival in the Evans' household. Maybe Petunia would eat it all along with the non-fat yogurt and carrots she ate every day for lunch. And maybe one day I'd get to run my own planet. All hail me, Queen of Lilyland.

I looked down at my watch. Merlin, it was nearly four o'clock! "James, we've been here for three hours!" I exclaimed. I hated shopping for food for too long. I always worried that the food would spoil or that I was buying too much and we'd never be able to eat it all before it went bad. Really, it was just too stressful of an errand. I felt too warm, and James's crooked grin was not helping my red face. I suddenly felt the urge to jump into the huge refrigerated case of packaged shrimp in front of me.

James grabbed my wrist and looked down at my watch. "Lily, we've been here for about an hour," he corrected me.

"But that means we only got here at three," I argued.

"Yeah."

"But we left almost as soon as I woke up."

James laughed and ruffled my hair. "Lily, love, you sleep for a long time," said James, putting an extra emphasis on the word "long."

"I do not!" I countered indignantly.

He laughed. "Yes, you do. I swear to Merlin that you're trying to hibernate in the wrong season. You're a new rare class of being, Lily."

"Thanks, that's what every girl longs to hear," I replied sarcastically. "I was compared to a bear."

"A cute bear," James corrected me.

Rolling my eyes, I shoved him in the chest and then looked back down at our list. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Potter."

"Because I am so often in your good graces, right, Evans?" he countered sardonically with a light chortle.

My mind imagined Fourth Year when I shoved him into the Great Lake. "True," I agreed. My expression grew more practical. "We should split up to get more done."

"Here," said James in a calm voice to try to pacify me. "I'll take the cart and go get the meat. You grab the fudgesicles and meet me, okay?"

I nodded in surprise. That actually sounded fairly intelligent for Potter. Weird.

I shook my head to block out my ridiculous thoughts as I walked towards the frozen food section.

Fudgesicles, fudgesicles, I repeated in my head as I searched rows of frozen desserts for my favorite oddly shaped treat. I was so engrossed in my hunt that I completely knocked into the person next to me and sent his box of ice cream sandwiches to the floor. I leaned down to get pick them up.

"Oh, crap," I said as I felt a warm hand cover mine. I looked up and saw the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I was ashamed to say that I stared at him like a lovesick teenage girl for a few moments before finally remembering that there was more blood in my body than estrogen. Quickly, with a pathetically bright blush on my face, I handed him back his box, which was now dented, and stood up.

"I am so sorry," I apologized meekly.

"It's okay," the boy assured me as he stood up as well. He was even more attractive standing. Looking like he was about my age, he had short chocolate brown hair and straight, white teeth, which he was flashing at me in a dashing, though obviously practiced smile. Still, it was enough to make me giggle like a thirteen-year-old.

"No, I'm such a klutz. It's all because of these moronic fudgesicles. Let me get you a new box," I offered as I turned to walk away.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back with the gentlest of touches. "It's really okay," he promised.

"Okay," I said unsurely with a nervous smile.

"Hey, this might sound really weird, but would you happen to be Lily Evans?" he asked me while still not letting go of my hand.

I nodded as I brushed a piece of my stupid, conspicuous hair behind my ear to get my hand back.

"I knew you looked familiar!" he exclaimed. "It's Tyler! Tyler Shepherd!"

I gaped at him. Tyler Shepherd? My first boyfriend? I couldn't believe it! He was so tall! "Tyler!" I squealed as I reached over to hug him.

He returned my unexpected embrace with much enthusiasm until we broke apart. However, his hands never left my forearms.

"God, Lily, you look so different from what I remember," he said eyeing me. His appreciative glance told me that it wasn't different in a bad way.

"You too!" I agreed as I shamelessly let my eyes roam across the muscles on his arms. "You're taller than me now."

Tyler laughed jovially. "How are you?" he asked me eagerly. "I haven't seen you in ages. How's your new boarding school? That's in Scotland, right?"

I nodded. "It's great. I've really missed everything at our old school, though. What's everyone up to? I haven't seen anyone in so long."

"Well," Tyler began.

He went on to describe some of the accomplishments, losses, and scandals of people with whom I used to associate myself. To my surprise, I was actually really interested in what he was saying. An odd rush of nostalgia engulfed me, and I clung to his every word. These people, whom I had somewhat disregarded because they reminded me of Petunia and everything normal in the world, had been such a huge part of my life. I found that I missed them. I missed how easy everything was when all I cared about was Chelie Brown's botched perm job and Ian Hayes's latest rugby statistics.

However, I also had the added bonus of being able to openly examine every part of Tyler's face that I wanted as I listened to him. His skin had a warm tan color from the sun that contrasted nicely with the pink from his lips, which, when we were younger had been too full for his face, but now seemed just right. Light stubble was resting across his chin in a tantalizing way. His blue eyes were beautiful.

Unfortunately, that was it. I wasn't mesmerized by them. I didn't search for the meaning behind them, the flash of intuition, or the light of mischief. I was attracted but not captivated. Still, I enjoyed his smiles and obvious flirting. Maybe my love life wasn't doomed. I just needed to find the right person.

"So I told Cassie to just keep on driving and she'd get to Bermuda eventually!" Tyler exclaimed through a laugh.

I broke out into hysterics with him.

"Lily! Lily!"

I turned my head. James was practically running over to me and nearly smacking all of the other people in the aisle with his cart.

"Lily!" he said in a less bellowing, let's have the entire store know some girl's name, voice, as he finally managed to get into close proximity with me. "Where have you been? You were supposed to meet me."

He looked a little hurt. I suddenly felt bad for leaving him all alone in the store. I glanced down at my watch. Merlin, it had been thirty minutes! "I'm sorry!" I apologized as I attempted to control my laughter from before. "I ran into Tyler, and then we started talking. I completely lost track of time!" I gestured towards Tyler, who smiled at me widely.

"This is Tyler?" James asked in a curt voice.

"Oh, right, whoops! James, this is Tyler," I said as I motioned to my girlhood crush of all crushes. "Tyler and I used to go to school together. Tyler, this is James."

When I didn't say anything else, James added in a commanding voice, "Her boyfriend." Then he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"Oh, Lily, you didn't mention anything about having a boyfriend. That's fantastic!" Tyler told me. "Nice to meet you," he added to James. Then, he stuck out his hand for James to shake.

"Thanks, Ty," I said with a quick smile before looking up at James's glaring face. Merlin, it was like he was shooting _Avada Kedavra_ curses with his eyes.

I elbowed James in the ribs, and he reached out his hand to grasp Tyler's. I suddenly felt bad for Tyler's fingers. I was fairly certain that James was trying to break them. I sighed with relief when they let go.

"So you and Lily went to the same school?" James asked slowly with forced politeness. I felt his fingertips tighten around my waist. Okay, down boy. Merlin, the only way James could be more obvious would be if he peed on me.

"Yeah," answered Tyler, smiling breezily. His tone, however, was challenging. "She and I have quite a history together, right, Lils?"

Great, now Tyler, the sweet, innocent boy who let me share his crayons, was subjecting himself to this chauvinist display of male idiocy.

"Umm, yes," I answered hesitantly as I heard James emit a small growl from the back of his throat.

"Yes, well," said James, still baring his unnaturally calm smile. "I've always found that what's happened in the past should stay there."

Great. Maybe I should just leave. That way they could just whip out their wands and see who was bigger.

Tyler's face brightened in anger.

"Let's go home, love," James said to me.

Before I had a chance to respond, his hand was pushing me forward.

"It was nice seeing you, Tyler!" I called over my shoulder at the abandoned boy surrounded by frozen desserts.

However, James and I didn't make it very far. As soon as we crossed the aisle, only a few meters away from where Tyler was, James thrust me against an arrangement of sprinkles and hot fudge.

"What are you-?"

I didn't have time to finish my question because James covered my mouth with his.

It wasn't just a little peck, either. His hands reached for my face and lifted it up to his to allow for a kiss that made me want to collapse like melted ice cream, even in an aisle filled with freezers. My entire body felt hot as he touched me. I wanted more. The estrogen inside of me was burning to take over. My hands, on their own accord because I had no idea what was even going on, let alone had the presence of mind to do anything, wrapped around his neck as I started to kiss him back. His tongue slipped in between my lips as his hands roamed down the light fabric of my shirt until they rested on my lower back. Hungrily, his lips moved against my own.

Once I was entirely breathless and too dizzy to do anything about it, James pulled back with a groan. His hazel eyes never left mine as I struggled to breathe again.

"What was that for?" I asked as my chest heaved up and down.

James glanced over his shoulder and then shrugged innocently. "No reason. Let's go, shall we?"

He laced his fingers through mine and then started walking towards the registers. I don't know if he thought I was stupid or that his kissing expertise was so phenomenal that I would just acquiesce to everything he said. Okay, so the latter might have been true, but I was not so weak minded that I would just allow him to pull a stunt like that. I hoped.

I looked back at where he had previously glanced. Sure enough, Tyler was still standing there, clutching his broken box of melting ice cream sandwiches, with a shocked expression on his face.

"Why did you just bloody do that, Potter?" I asked him angrily. I ripped my hand out of his and turned to confront him in front of several bystanders, who couldn't mind their own business, and cans of beets that were just asking for it.

He didn't respond. He just stared at me wearily with fear in his eyes. "On a scale of one to ten, how mad are you going to be at me right now?"

"Eight and a half," I told him through gritted teeth.

He nodded and then fidgeted worriedly with his hair. "Okay, you can yell at me now."

I refused to let him get to me. James always did this. Whenever I would get mad at him, he had this insufferable habit of saying something adorable. He'd slump his shoulders contritely and ask for forgiveness with his doleful hazel eyes. Then, he'd smile at me hopefully and beg me to forgive him. It was impossible to not give in to his manipulative ways. But, I was Lily Evans, and I was pissed.

"Merlin, Potter!" I screeched. "Are you a complete idiot? Why the bloody hell would you pull such a moronic stunt back there?"

"C'mon, Lily. I'm supposed to be your boyfriend!" he argued back.

"Fake boyfriend!" I corrected him lividly.

"Well, how are we going to pull this whole thing off if you're flirting with blokes behind my back?" he asked me huffily with frustrated hand gestures that I noticed he used more when he was angry.

"Merlin, James! You make me sound like I'm cheating on you! We're not even really dating!" I reminded him in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, your friend reminded me of that, Lils," James said as he started walking into checkout line with the shopping cart full of groceries. "Tell me, how many other guys besides your father are allowed to use that nickname?"

"Stop it, James," I said as I slammed a package of string beans onto the conveyer belt for our cashier to scan. "You're being ridiculous. I'm allowed to talk to any guy I want. Besides, all we were doing was talking."

"It sure looked like a whole lot more to me," James fumed as he smashed a tin of cookies down. "Oh, Tyler, that's so funny. Haha-bloody-haha."

I really hated when he tried to imitate my voice.

"And then you had to go and make him feel like crap by snogging me."

"I didn't like the way he was looking at you," James defended. "I was trying to protect you." His hand flew up to his hair as he made that vulnerable statement.

"I don't need you to protect me," I reminded him independently. "I'm not your property or yours to protect. I am fully capable of taking care of myself and using my own judgment. I don't need you or anyone else telling me whom I can or cannot talk to, especially when that someone is just a friend."

His expression lightened when I emphasized the last bit. "I know that, and I didn't mean to tell you what to do."

"Well, you were being an ass," I told him truthfully as I placed a package of raw chicken down next to some crackers. "I wouldn't want someone I was really dating to act that way."

"Merlin, Lily, I'm, well, I'm really sorry for being such a prat back there."

I placed my hand on his arm reassuringly. "It's okay," I sighed. "You were just being a jealous boyfriend. I knew you'd take this whole arrangement too seriously." My forehead wrinkled with the weight of that knowledge.

He smiled apologetically at me. "I'll be better next time," he promised.

"You better," I threatened with a slight teasing quality in my voice. "Otherwise we might get kicked out of a store. I think we knocked down all those sprinkles with your little display of marking your territory."

"Sorry," he apologized again with sad eyes.

"Me too," I said. At the time, I hadn't really felt bad for talking to Tyler. Hell, I'd even admit I had been flirting with him. However, now, holding onto James's hand, I did feel a little guilty for betraying him, which, of course, made no sense whatsoever. My expression turned light as I brushed these thoughts aside. "I forgot the fudgesicles."

Then, James's entire face broke out into a glorious smile and he laughed freely. He kissed the top of my head. "It's okay, love."

When the bags were finally put back into our cart, the old woman working at the register gestured me to come closer to her.

I obliged and she hissed something in my ear before handing me my money.

As we were packing the groceries into the back of my car, which_ I_ would be then driving home, James asked me, "What did the old woman tell you before we left?"

I smiled. "She said that we made a good couple," I told him with a laugh.

He grinned and then hopped into the car. Smiling, I did the same. I thought about what other advice she gave me. "Dear, you'll be kicking yourself later if you lose that one. He's got a bum that gals go crazy for." Loony old lady.

Yep, I'd definitely keep that bit to myself. Any more over inflation, and his head would pop.

After our first unofficial lovers' quarrel, or, in my opinion, reason number 7,892 why I would never really date James Potter, things were back to normal between us as we put the groceries away. I wasn't too surprised that we had skipped over the awkward post-fight phase. James and I fought all the time. This was nothing new for us. Though, he usually did not snog me so incredibly thoroughly afterwards. Merlin, that was…

_No, bad Lily._ When this was all over, I needed to find an actual boyfriend fast. Apparently, all of my long years of sexual repression were taking a toll on my fragile mental health.

Since it was nearly six o'clock, James and I decided to make dinner. Well, I would be the one making it. His job, apparently, was to get in my way. The meal in question: spaghetti. It should have been easy. I, of course, knew better.

"James!" I scolded. "How many times do I have to tell you? Stop sampling the sauce, licking your fingers, and then reaching in for more."

"But, Lily," he whined playfully as he smiled his most crooked smile at me to sway my opinion. "It tastes so good, and I'm so hungry." He patted his stomach while jutting out his lower lip and gazing at me innocently underneath his eyelashes.

"Yes," I replied as contemplated whether I was his fake girlfriend or his substitute mother. "But then we won't have any left for the spaghetti."

"I'll control myself," he promised.

"Good boy," I praised him like the dog I never had. "Now go set the table."

He rolled his eyes dramatically but nonetheless retrieved two plates out of the top kitchen cabinet.

"So how do you know how to cook?" James asked me as he searched for napkins.

I laughed as I stirred salt into the spaghetti so that it wouldn't stick to the bottom of the pot. "Not everyone had house-elves growing up," I reminded him.

He laughed too. "Yes, my childhood of house-elves and empty rooms as I waited in my bed past midnight for my parents to come home and kiss me goodnight."

Not trusting my expression, I turned back to the bubbling sauce. I could just imagine James lying on a leather couch while spouting his feelings to a worthless man with a funny beard and a German accent. "That must have been hard."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James shrug. "I knew they loved me. I guess that's all that really matters. Besides, house-elves are awesome company. You give them a butterbeer and they'll play poker with you for hours!"

I chuckled, but I couldn't help but to feel a little bad for him. Even now, James must be dealing with the knowledge that his parents had chosen something greater than him. Maybe that's why he tried so hard in school to be the best or pulled so many pranks. Did he really just want attention?

I heaved the pot of spaghetti off of the stove, and James rushed over to me.

"Let me help you with that," he offered.

Our hands brushed as I handed him the pot of scolding hot water. His eyes swept mine before he turned to concentrate on straining the spaghetti. Feeling very hot, I rushed to turn the oven off. Obviously, the heat of the stove was what was making my face blush so profusely. Then, I grabbed a bowl and ladled the sauce into it before handing it to James. He added the spaghetti and then joined me at the kitchen table.

"So, Lily," he started as he reached for some spaghetti after I had already taken some for myself. "Do you ever get really confused?"

"By your random questions? All the time," I told him with a light chortle.

He grinned briefly but continued without acknowledging my joke. "No, about who you are? I mean, you spend all year firing spells and concocting potions and writing with quills, but then, when you come home you're making your own spaghetti on a muggle stove. Don't you ever get confused as to which world you belong?"

I paused for a second to think about his question. Really, James had managed to capture the emotion I'd felt every day since I first received my letter. How did he do that? I took a sip of my raspberry iced tea.

"Sometimes, it's easier to forget that magic exists. Obviously, things with my family would be easier that way. Then they would always be able to understand what I was talking about or that my jokes were actually quite funny. My mum would be able to give me advice, and my dad wouldn't have to worry about me being bitten by a werewolf."

I noticed James flinch slightly, but I was too immersed in my monologue to ask him why.

"Petunia and I, well, it would have been different," I lamented as I stared down at my spaghetti.

"You wish it was," he said sadly.

I didn't respond.

"You would rather have never found out about any of it."

I looked up quickly. "No!" I assured him. "I love being a witch. Finding out that there was this whole another world that existed, let alone that I could belong to, that's something I would never trade for anything!" I assured him.

James smiled as he continued to eat his food. With an askance gaze I watched him slurp his spaghetti, pausing every so often to dart out his pink tongue and wipe away any stray sauce from his lips.

"Pass the cheese, please?" I asked because, really, what else was left to say?

About an hour later after we had cleaned up, I had proven to James that a dishwasher was not a demon but a genius, electronic device, and we had thrown bubbles at each other, we ended up on the couch in the family room. We were both too exhausted to find the remote, so we sat in front of the turned off television.

We reminisced together about our years at Hogwarts. With fond memories we recalled the time that Slughorn slipped on a spilled potion and screamed for his mum in true British style. He reminded me of the countless Quidditch games in which he had led the Gryffindor team to victory, and I reminded him of the thousands of times I found him in detention writing lines or cleaning trophies, to which he cheekily replied that the awards were often his. He described the on-going scandal that the Astronomy teacher was feuding with the Divination teacher over the position of Uranus. We both ended up in hysterics over that one.

"Do you remember Valentine's Day of Fifth Year?" James asked me as he excitedly turned to face me on the couch.

I concentrated on the memory. "Oh, Merlin!" I exclaimed as I started to laugh again. My hand rested on his leg as I tried to control myself.

"When Sirius sent that not-so-secret admirer bouquet of roses to McGonagall," James said through his guffawing.

"And kissed her right in the middle of Transfiguration!" I finished for him as I, too, laughed uncontrollably.

"Her face!" he exclaimed.

"All those detentions!" I added.

Suddenly, we heard the sound of metal clanking followed by the clip-clopping of heels.

"Petunia," I predicted confidently.

The sound of her heels became louder, and I knew that she was almost in the room with us. I mentally prepared myself for the headache I always got when I had to put up with my older sister.

Then, without warning or any chance to prepare myself, James pressed me down onto the couch and attacked my mouth with his own.

I felt every bit of his warm body match up with every bit of mine. Although he propped himself up a little so that I didn't feel all of his weight, I still had the sensation of an 84 kilogram boy against me. His left hand attached to my hip while his right rested dangerously near my ribs, his thumb creeping higher than it should in polite company. I was encompassed by the fresh, summer smell of him. James was everywhere.

Against my better judgment, my body reacted immediately to his touch. I gasped into his mouth, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss even further with the same tongue that I had been staring at before. My hands flew to his hair with the mission of making it even messier than it normally was. My eyes closed, and I concentrated on how I felt, like this was too good to be real.

"What are you two doing-ahh!" shrieked Petunia shrilly. "God, warn somebody!"

And that's when I remembered that this wasn't real.

I pushed James away and wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand. As Petunia's heels clacked away, I worked on fixing my tousled appearance. With a discreet look at my partner in crime, I saw that James was doing the same.

Once satisfied with my appearance, I crossed my arms across my chest and focused my disapproving glare on his sheepish expression. "You'll exploit every available opportunity, won't you?" I asked accusingly.

He just smirked at me.

* * *

A/N: i don't know why the chapters keep getting longer. really i don't. it's just been happening. i hope you don't mind. now. this was a pretty eventful chapter. lily and james survived their first day alone together, they had their first fight, james got pigheadedly jealous, and the intensity of their snogging has increased. all in all, just your everyday friday, right?

i thank you all tremendously for your warm reviews and thoughtful story recommendations. besides my best friend's stories (hermione potter 452), i thought, since you're all probably too sick of reading to get this far, to shamelessly plug my own stories to you all:

revenge-good message. i think this story deals a lot with real feelings.  
epiphany & spin -stories that really happened to me. just with our favorite couple.  
tell her this -a simple songfic that i think works wonderfully for james.  
hostage-what i'm the most proud of. i think it's actually a very good story. which, for me to say about my own work, is something.  
sweet-somewhat painful to read in the beginning because it was my first story. but my favorite. my baby.

you know, just in case you want something to tide you over this queue closer!

shamelessly and jameslessly yours,  
molly


	6. Tense Relaxation

_Previously on Boyfriend:__  
__Once satisfied with my appearance, I crossed my arms across my chest and focused my disapproving glare on his sheepish expression. "You'll exploit every available opportunity, won't you?" I asked accusingly.__He just smirked at me._

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**Chapter Six**  
**Tense Relaxation**

_

* * *

_

_"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." - Miss Piggy_

* * *

I rolled over onto my right side. I could feel my brain firing off neurons in an attempt to jumpstart my system, but I wasn't quite ready to begin my day. Today was day four of my façade, but I was not in the mood to think about that. Denial and I had a long, lasting relationship. I inhaled the lovely laundry scent of my pillow and noticed the faint scent of syrup that didn't belong to my room. Like a dog, I lifted my head and followed my nose. I traveled down the stairs and into the kitchen. I noticed that the syrup smell was accompanied by the sizzling of bacon and sausage. I had to admit, I drooled a bit. Hell, if I had a tail, I would have been wagging it.

My stomach gurgled loudly.

"Oh, Lily, finally, I was just going to come wake you up."

I sat down at my usual seat, the one on the right side of the table that was the closest to the counter. "Mmm," I replied vaguely as I scooted my wooden chair forward.

"Actually," she continued as she sipped her tea conversationally. "I was planning on forcing your sister to do it. You're really rather hostile in the morning, Lily."

I crossed my arms and pulled my knees into my chest. "I am not!" I argued.

"You have a tendency to growl," my mum insisted with a mocking grin. "And even though you always seem to conveniently forget about it, you flail your limbs out and try to hit everything in a two meter radius of you."

"I do not flail my limbs," I told my mother with the utmost seriousness.

"James?" Mum appealed as he sat down in the chair beside me.

"Yes, James," I said as I rounded on him. "Do answer the question carefully."

James laughed cheerfully and ruffled his hair. "I know better than to admit to anything. You can't fool me into coming between two Evans women."

Dissatisfied with my fake boyfriend, who was bloody supposed to take my side, I huffed and pouted in my chair.

James, who apparently noticed everything about me, smiled amiably at me and rested his arm around the back of my chair. He leaned forward just enough that I could smell his lovely boy scent as his lips nearly grazed my ear as he whispered to me. "She is right, though. There's a reason why you should never tickle a sleeping dragon."

He laughed at my scowling face as he kissed my cheek before pulling back.

I gave him my death glare.

However, he did not seem to notice that I was mentally sending curses at him because he continued to smile pleasantly while his fingers played with the frizzy mess that was my bedhead. His fingers traveled down and played with the strap of my tank top against my bare shoulder. I raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously and tilted my head warningly. The corners of his mouth perking up, James nodded to my mother and then put a tanned finger up to his red lips seductively. I was rather mesmerized by the movement, and he seemed to notice the glazed look in my eyes. He winked at me. I folded my arms across my chest and huffed childishly. Git.

A few seconds later, a plate of waffles, arranged into a smiley face with the bacon and sausage, was placed in front of me. I looked up to see my dad.

"Thanks, daddy!" I told him as I wrapped my arms around his torso. "You're the only one around here who's nice to me."

"What about Tuney?" he reminded me.

I gave him a doubtful look.

He shrugged and kissed the top of my head. "Morning, Lils."

"Good morning, daddy."

He sat down next to Mum, and I started to tuck into my waffles, my favorite of all breakfast delicacies, excepting, on occasion, French toast. Though, simple bread could not be designed to grin at you, so I supposed waffles really did have an edge.

My parents talked between themselves while I ate my food. James seemed perfectly content with rubbing my shoulder and humming quietly to himself. I couldn't really hear him, but there was definitely a soft melody coming from the back of his throat, though I was fairly sure he was doing it unconsciously.

"So, Lily, I can only assume you're all packed for today," Mum said to me as I wiped all traces of my waffles off with my napkin.

"Huh?" I asked as my eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Packed for what?"

"Didn't Petunia tell you? I told her to tell you last night."

"We never got the message," I heard James say as he hid his smirk with the back of his hand. "We were busy."

I wanted to smack my head repeatedly on the table when he said that, though, I settled for kicking James deftly in the shin under the table. Not caring about his pain, I focused on my own embarrassment. I thought my face would positively burn off from the heat from my blush. My dad pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger as he waited, most likely, for the urge to strangle my boyfriend to pass. I silently hoped it wouldn't. Of course, James was completely unabashed and calmly rocking his chair back a bit.

Mum's eyes flashed with intuition. "Well, I'm taking you and your sister out for some girl time. You'll be leaving in a week or so for school, and Petunia is always off with Vernon. I thought it would be nice for just us girls to spend some time together."

I pretended to smile at the idea. On the inside, however, I could not think of anything less pleasant. Okay, I supposed I could. Still, at least cleaning slime off of awards in the Trophy Room didn't require me to talk to Petunia. "Where are we going?" I asked with a feeble attempt to keep the weariness out of my voice.

"The spa!" Mum exclaimed excitedly.

Ahh, somebody _Avada Kedavra_ me. I groaned. "The spa?" I repeated with disgust. "Really, Mum?"

"Lily," my dad threatened.

Her face fell. "Was that not a good idea? I've already booked the hotel and our appointments. I just wanted to spend some time with you, sweetie. It's only one weekend, and then you can get back to your life." Her big blue eyes stared at me sadly.

I bit my lip. Great, now I had made my Mum upset. "No, it'll be fine," I pacified her. "Yay for mother-daughter time," I cheered as enthusiastically as I could manage. I even swung my finger in a circle for emphasis.

She didn't seem too convinced. "You don't really want to come," she said dolefully.

My mother sure knew how to make someone feel guilty. You would have thought I had just drowned a kitten, or something. "Yes, I do, Mum. I can't think of a better way to spend my Saturday," I told her earnestly.

"You're sure you wouldn't rather stay home with James?" she asked doubtfully.

"Completely sure," I said truthfully as I grinned playfully at James, who narrowed his eyes at me in the same teasing manner. I shoved his chest. "He's annoying anyway," I added. "Besides! I can't leave you alone and defenseless with Petunia. You might never make it out alive!"

"Lily!" Mum, trying to hide her amusement, scolded.

"Sorry, Mum," I apologized quickly.

"Valid point," my dad agreed quietly.

"Henry!" Mum exclaimed with even more volume.

My dad shrugged innocently at her and then winked at me. I smiled secretly at him.

"When did our darling eldest daughter say she was getting home, dear?" my dad asked Mum.

"She went over to Vernon's house to say goodbye. I think he's bringing her back here in about fifteen or so minutes."

"Aww, we have to see him again?" I whined.

"Well, at least he calms your sister down," Mum replied quietly while daintily wrinkling her noise. "So you better get packing, Lily. We have to leave as soon as she gets here, or we're going to miss our nail appointment."

I wrinkled my noise. "Joy," I muttered under my breath.

"What was that?" she called.

"I said, 'Yay!'" I lied. "Now, if you excuse me," I said as I gathered up my plate and put it into the dishwasher. "I apparently need to go pack."

"Don't forget your toothbrush!" Mum reminded me as I exited the kitchen.

"And earplugs!" Daddy added conspiratorially. "Petunia!"

"Henry!"

I chuckled in amusement as I walked up the stairs. I heard footsteps follow me up. Not bothering to turn around to check who it was, I grinned to myself. "Planning to pick out my clothes for me, James?"

He grabbed my hand and stopped me from climbing up the stairs. I was ashamed to admit that as my weight counteracted and I swung into his chest, my heart rate had increased so rapidly that my body was rushing blood like a marathoner after the last kilometer. Apparently, the mere knowledge of knowing what was underneath his soft, gray t-shirt was enough to send my hormones flying. Damn, boy pheromones!

"Would you even let me, love?" he asked.

I stepped down a stair so that our eyes were even. I stared at him for a second or two and licked my lips teasingly. I watched his eyes follow my mouth. I leaned forward so that my lips were right near his ear. "No."

Then I sprinted up the stairs and locked myself in my room without bothering to check his expression. I knew him so well I could already imitate the dull, blank boy stare anyway. Merlin, boys were so predictable. I guess I couldn't really blame them. The only had enough blood to run one organ at a time while girls, unfortunately, had blood to spare.

I tossed a pair of capris and a t-shirt, the first one I could find, into the overnight bag I kept in the back of my closet along with a pair of flip-flops. Then, I walked across the hall and took a quick shower. Thankfully, my boyfriend had traveled down the stairs and I did not have any awkward encounters as I walked back to my room in my towel.

"Petunia's here, Lily!"

Damn. She was early. Of course, the one time I could actually use her perpetual lateness and inconsiderateness, and she was finally prudent. Figures.

I threw on a pale yellow tank top and the first bottoms I could find. I groaned when I realized that the white fabric was a skirt, but I didn't have time to change so I buttoned it up. I quickly grabbed my bag, slipped into a pair of white flip-flops, and raced to the bathroom to chuck my toothbrush and a brush into my bag.

"Crap!" I exclaimed as I ran back into my room. I tripped over my own two feet and stumbled down. "Bloody hell!" I grumbled loudly as I grabbed my desk for support to pull myself back up.

"Lily!" I heard my mum's voice call from downstairs. "Now's not the time to be entertaining elephants!"

"Funny," I muttered. I clicked my tongue in my mouth in annoyance as I navigated to my dresser. I fiddled around blindly in the drawer and pulled out the first pair of knickers I touched and then did the same for a bra. As I nearly ran past my desk, I reached out and snatched my eyeliner and mascara to cure my lifelong disease of red eyelashes. Shoving everything into my bag, I zipped it shut, grabbed my wand, and then sprinted down the stairs.

Everyone was waiting for me in the hallway.

"I'm here," I said while I tried to regain control of my heavy breathing.

"Took you long enough," Petunia commented rudely next to the whale, I mean, Vernon.

"I'm sorry, Tuney. Would you have preferred if I had-"

"Girls, play nice," my dad interrupted me.

I sighed. Thank Merlin for my father. I didn't know how I was going to finish that one. I couldn't let Petunia know that I was too frazzled to outthink her. She might have felt superior. Well, more than she normally deluded herself into believing.

"Ready for pampering and relaxation?" Mum asked as she strode forward with James trailing behind her with her small suitcase in hand.

I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and realized how tense I had been lately. I didn't think I could have felt less relaxed than if someone told me I had to go skipping through the Forbidden Forest alone and covered in snausages, created especially for werewolves.

"Lily?" my mum asked when I didn't say anything.

"Uh, yeah, sure, Mum," I responded vaguely as I followed everyone out the door and into the driveway.

"Bye, dear, don't burn down the house or order Indian food. You know how much it stinks up the house," my mum warned my dad.

"Yes, April," my dad said with defeat. "We will try not to do anything you wouldn't want us to."

They started bickering about his use of the word "try," and like a true grammar nerd, my father was attempting to avoid an argument by explaining to her the insignificance of his slightly more passive verb. Meanwhile, Petunia and Vernon were speaking in hushed tones and glancing around furtively. I rolled my eyes. We weren't aliens; we were wizards. The police weren't going to show up with sirens blaring and abduct us. James, shoving his hands into his pockets, which made his broad shoulders hunch over, and looking down at his trainers, shuffled over to me.

"Well, I'll see you," I said since I didn't know what else to say.

"Later," he finished for me.

"Yeah," I agreed with a slight smile. "Later," I echoed softly.

I peeked over my shoulder and watched my dad and mum pecking and Petunia and Vernon doing something so completely nauseating with their tongues that I couldn't dare to even try to describe it.

Still, that didn't mean James and I had to act all lovely dovey just to keep up with everyone else.

I stuck out my hand for a handshake. "Well, goodbye, James," I said cordially. What Would James's Girlfriend Do be damned!

He laughed at my hand and lifted it up into the air. Hesitantly, he laced his fingers through mine. I watched him curiously and waited for what he was going to do next. He leaned down slowly and kissed me lightly. It was soft and gentle. I barely allowed his lips to continue because I took my unoccupied hand and pushed his chest back softly to make him stop.

When I pulled away, I noticed that his eyes were still closed. He brought his nose to my hair and inhaled deeply before opening his eyes begrudgingly and removing his hand from my lower back. "Bye, Lily," he replied tenderly.

I walked over to the car and settled into the back seat. Normally, I would have fought with Petunia over the front, but she was already seated and jiggling her foot impatiently.

I peered out the window as the car pulled out of the driveway. James caught my eye and blew me a kiss. I rolled my eyes and turned back in my seat.

"Lily, why are you smiling so widely?"

"I'm just happy to get away, Mum," I answered brightly with only a bit of a lie.

The car ride passed slowly. Petunia has a tendency to pick the worst radio stations and then sing along. Very badly, I might add. It was a relief to finally feel the car stop.

I staggered out of the car. "I felt like that would never end," I groaned as I ambled to the back of the car.

My mum swatted my arm playfully. She grabbed her suitcase while I reached into the trunk to get my bag. "That ride took only forty-five minutes, Miss Magic Girl who can just poof anywhere she likes," she corrected me.

"It's a lot more complicated than poofing, Mum, and besides, my ears would have appreciated a shorter trip," I told her.

My mum glanced over her shoulder furtively. "Here," she said as she handed me a small package. "Your father told me to give these to you."

I looked down at the plastic. Earplugs. Excellent.

"What are you two whispering about?" Petunia demanded as we met up with her and her bulky, designer bag, most likely filled with cosmetics.

"Nothing," my mum avoided easily. "Let's go check in!"

I looked around the spa as my mum dealt with the registration and sleeping arrangements since the spa was connected to a hotel. Petunia popped her gum for the third time, and I physically cringed. More than any person, or creature, or thing, really, I had ever known, including James Potter, Petunia annoyed me. I did not know it was humanly possible to have every single thing about someone irritate you, down from the way they slurped their beverages so loudly you could hear the liquid hit their stomach to the way the way they would just stare disdainfully at you for minutes at a time and not say anything at all. My older sister was quite impressive.

A young bellhop took our bags to our hotel room for us so that we did not have to wait any longer to start our wonderful beautifying experience. Yay! Fifteen minutes really would have been too much to spare.

Smiling widely, a perfect-looking woman, without a single hair out of place and dressed in all white, took us to the nail salon. Once inside, Mum and Petunia eagerly skipped off to pick out their nail polish color. Feeling obligated, I followed them with reluctant footsteps. As they compared colors and vocalized pros and cons of different brands, I picked out the least offensive colors: clear and light pink.

"Lily," Petunia sneered. "You have to pick out something less bland than that. Why even bother having your nails painted at all?"

That was a good question. Unwillingly, I put the clear bottle back on the shelf and picked out a bright red one. I guess I could make my toes stand out a bit more. I did not want it on my fingers, though. It would just seem too obnoxious for me.

"Evans?" a man called.

"Which one?" my mum asked.

"All three of you, mum," the man answered with a courteous smile I knew he had practiced for customers.

"Oh, that's great!" Mum replied happily as she began to follow the man, who was also clad entirely in white. Apparently, spas wanted you to feel very sterile, that, or very virginal.

Bottles of polish in hand, I filed into the back of the line and followed everyone out of the reception area before sitting down into my designated chair. I took off my flip-flops and then immersed my feet into the blue water sink attached to my chair, which was vibrating. Silently, I hoped that it was just a foot thing and not a batch of Mrs. Scower's Magical Mess Remover. Though, my feet might have needed it. I picked one out of the water. My feet weren't dirty and my toenails, though they were not pretty, weren't revolting, but I could not imagine anyone wanting to handle my feet for too long. Feet were just gross as a rule.

"Ready?" a young woman asked me. Her straight smile was just as blindingly white as her outfit.

"Yeah, I guess," I said hesitantly.

She nodded and then placed my left foot on a towel before attacking it with something that resembled a hairbrush but had something that felt like sandpaper on it. I bit my lip as she tried, as far as I could see, to rip off all of the skin on my heel.

I leaned over to my mum and whispered, "Is it supposed to hurt?"

She shrugged. "Beauty is pain," she replied simply as she closed her eyes.

I crossed my arms across my chest in dissatisfaction as the woman placed my foot back in the blue water and grabbed my right one.

I glanced over to my left and looked at Petunia, who was reading a fashion magazine. Somehow, it was the perfect image. Now I knew why this place made me feel more freaked out than the Forbidden Forest: Petunia liked it

Feeling a sharp pinch on my big toe, I turned my attention back to the eerily perfect woman doing my feet. She was attacking my nails with a shiny metal object with a look of concentration on her face.

"They need that much work, huh? Guess I should have bought a new pair on my way here," I joked lamely in an attempt to break the tension.

The woman, without looking at me, nodded and continued her work silently.

Uncomfortable, I looked around the room and observed that no one getting a pedicure was actually talking to their technician. I bit my lip and tried to settle into my chair. The vibrating had changed, and now I could feel the mechanisms in the chair roll up and down my back painfully as the gears attempted to massage me.

My back bounced back and forth as the woman, whose name I realized I didn't know, gripped my foot tighter to hold it steady as she painted my groomed toes the bright red color.

"Don't you just feel yourself become less tense, Lily?" Mum asked.

The chair jostled my body forward again. "Yeah, no tension here."

When the torture of my pedicure was over, a new woman, just as disturbingly ideal, steered me over to the manicure desk. I felt the urge to apologize for the black ink stains covering my right hand, but I didn't know how to explain them. Describing your entire lifestyle as a witch who used a quill seemed a bit like overkill, so I just kept my mouth shut while she scrubbed. As she forcefully began to file my fingernails into flat, perfect boards after I had informed her that under no circumstances was I going to get fake nails, I vaguely wondered how much trouble I would get in if I just apparated out of this scary, utopian place with its modern art and uncomfortable furniture. Since I knew it would be a lot, I sat as still as possible and let the blonde in front of me "tsk" at my cuticles in horror as though I had just told her I had never highlighted my hair.

A conditioning lotion, base coat, two coats of color, a tiny silver design thing, and some finishing gunk later, I was finally released from polish prison. Thank Merlin.

With the least amount of sarcasm or bitterness I could manage, I thanked the woman who had wordlessly transformed my normal nails into a mass of pink and sparkles. Wanting to sprint out the doors and head to the nearest bookstore to try to regain my brain, which I think was forced to go up to the hotel with the bellhop, I headed to the door.

"Lily, God, where are you going?" Petunia asked.

Rio. Canada. Germany. Hell, I'd even go to a Chinese prison.

"You have to wait for your nails to dry before you can go anywhere."

I was sure the universe hated me.

Unenthusiastically, I scuffled to a chair and sat down next to her.

"How long does it take?" I asked wearily.

Petunia examined her fire red fingernails that were obviously fake, seeing as they were about an inch longer than her normal nails had been, as I secretly hid my grin. I figured she would get something really obnoxious like that. I knew my sister all too well.

"About fifteen minutes," she said casually as she blew on her fingertips.

My jaw dropped. No way in hell was I going to spend one more minute in this place than I had to. The fumes were making me feel nauseous.

"No way," I refused. I got up out of my chair, and Petunia, making sure to not ruin her nails, smacked me with her elbow.

"You're going to mess up the paint."

"Fine," I huffed. "But I'm not just going to sit here."

I used my elbow to lift up my shirt and carefully pulled my wand out from my pocket.

"You can't take that out here!" Petunia shrieked before realizing we were in public and dropping her voice down to a menacing whisper. "There are normal people here!"

I wasn't entirely sure that was the case. This place screamed of Veela more than I cared to say. "Relax, Tuney," I told her as I fumbled with my wand with the palms of my hand. "It's just a Swedish nail filer," I teased her.

As I struggled to grab the handle of my wand without the use of my fingers, Petunia eyed me evilly.

"Lily, I swear to God, if you use that I will-"

Tuning Tuney out, I muttered the incantation softly and felt heat hit my nails. Then I leaned over and did the same to my toes.

"Much better," I sighed. Then I held out my wand to her. "Can I interest you?" I asked her politely.

Petunia closed her mouth angrily, crossed her legs, and looked away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my Mum wave hugely to me with a large smile plastered to her face. There was my wonderful mum who just wanted to spend quality time with her two daughters and hope that there were no murders in the process. Sighing, I sat back down next to Petunia. The dramatic escape plan would have to wait. Curse my mum for guilting me into this.

"So, red, huh?" I started as I motioned to Petunia's nails.

Her sneer told me she wasn't really in the mood to talk to me, but I was sick of the bizarre quiet of this place. Almost shocking to admit, if it was between the picturesque, robotic employees and Petunia, I'd choose my sister's disdain any day.

"What's with the pink?" she countered. "You're supposed to actually be able to notice that there's a color, little sister," Petunia counseled condescendingly.

"I guess I just don't have your savvy nail knowledge, big sister," I told her with a cheeky smile.

Petunia opened her mouth to fire back, but Mum interrupted her.

"Ready for facials, girls?"

I grinded my teeth together and wouldn't let the inordinate amount of profanities leave my mouth. My dad would be so proud. He was always telling me to filter. I always reminded him that tact was just not saying the truth. So yes, with propriety in mind, I was ready to get a bloody facial. Oh, that sounded a tad gross. Mentally, I changed the adjective to ruddy.

However, forty-five minutes later, I decided bloody was a more accurate modifier. I didn't care about my pores. Any more exfoliation and my face was going to fall off! I could not understand why people would pay money to be abused.

My red hair trapped in a fluffy towel, my face covered in green gunk, and my body outfitted in one of the spa's white robes, I fingered my cucumber slices wearily.

"Mum, my eyes are green enough already," I argued.

"But, Lily, it's all a part of the process," she rebuffed.

"I feel rejuvenated enough," I argued.

"You obviously don't know anything about cosmetics then," Petunia commented.

I smiled sassily at her. "We all can't be the Wicked Witch of the Spa," I said sweetly as I eyed her green face.

"Mum!" Petunia protested loudly. "She called me a you-know-what!"

"Oh, come on!" I argued. "You know that's not what I meant."

"You always have an agenda," Petunia said. "Everything you say is always with a smirk like you're making fun of me."

Well, that was only because I usually was. "It was just an expression. I was joking," I explained exasperatedly.

"That's hardly a laughing matter!"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, right now your face is!"

"Shut up, freak!"

"Girls!" Mum yelled before lowering her voice to hiss at us angrily. "Stop it right now. You're behaving like six-year-olds. Petunia, she didn't mean it like that. Lily, stop constantly antagonizing your sister. Now, we are going to have a good time today if I have to duck tape your mouths shut to force you two to be civil to one another. Like it or not, you two are sisters, and I am your mother, and I demand some damn bonding!"

Woah, Mum was getting a pretty wild-eyed, and she had even cursed! Now I really had no choice. I eyed Petunia angrily. "Fine," I sulked.

"Whatever," voiced Petunia.

"Now, Lily, put your cucumbers on," Mum demanded.

Petunia and I plastered smiles onto our faces and spoke politely about the weather and whatever other safe topics Mum chose to discuss as we got our massages. Personally, even if I had to lie through my teeth and pretend Petunia and I were the best of friends, I welcomed the distraction. My head forced in a tiny hole, clad only in a tiny towel that hid my rear end from view, and some complete stranger rubbing oil all over me was not how I wanted to spend my Saturday. It was ridiculously awkward. It hurt more than it helped. I didn't know how fingers jabbing into your spine were supposed to make you feel good. Plus, the guy, of course it had to be a guy, had really ugly shoes, which was the only part of him I could see.

Finally, the agony ended. I was allowed to put my robe back on and sit up in a chair.

"So, Lily," Mum said conversationally as she and Petunia joined me in the Spa's dining room. "How do you think James is faring without you?"

"I'm sure he's just fine, Mum," I muttered offhandedly. To be honest, I had barely given James a second thought. It had been nice. Almost like I had completely forgotten about my now habitual state of panic and anxiety that someone would find out my deep, dark secret. Even more of a relief from that, I had gotten away from James, himself.

It wasn't that I hated him anymore. Frankly, once he wasn't off gallivanting with his friends, pranking everything that moved, and asking me out every chance he got, James was pretty decent company. However, since he no longer needed to do the latter, James, or at least his tongue, had shown me what it was like to say "yes." And the scary thing was, I wasn't quite sure anymore why I needed to say "no."

Of course, I didn't actually have feelings for James. He was just this annoying prat whom I went to school with and would not see after graduation. My legs would turn to jello from any bloke who kissed that well or looked at me with that secret glance he always gave me when no one else was looking. I was in complete control of the situation. This was just a ploy, and I was just pretending.

I was in control.

Somewhere in the middle of my musings, the food arrived. Suddenly famished, I picked up my fork eagerly. Merlin, cleansing and pampering made me hungry. My stomach even growled in anticipation. However, my jaw dropped when I saw what was on my plate.

"More cucumbers?" I exclaimed in shock as I picked up a tiny bit of wheat bread with green in between.

"They're cucumber sandwiches," Petunia corrected me haughtily.

"No way," I objected. "That's not real food."

"They have kelp salad too," Mum offered.

Yeah, like that made a difference. "As in seaweed? Seriously? Come on, Mum! This is ridiculous!" My stomach burbled again for emphasis.

Mum examined her own plate with disinterest. "Well, since we are done with all of our appointments, I guess we could always head back to the hotel and order in room service."

I could have kissed her if my mouth wasn't so already full with drool. I settled for vigorously nodding my head until it almost fell off my neck. I would be the perfect anti-spa bobblehead doll.

"Petunia?" Mum asked.

"Fine," she agreed. I was surprised, but I tried not to let my face show it. Petunia loved to eat green healthy things with more grams of fiber than calories! Maybe she just wanted to do something nice for a change. I smiled genuinely at her. The corners of her mouth itched, but then she looked away. Then again, maybe she was just sick of dieting.

After the thirty treacherously long minutes it took for the food to arrive, I took a bite of the greasiest, cheesiest, most delicious cheeseburger I have ever had. I swore I would have married that burger, or maybe that was just the hunger talking.

My appetite finally satiated, I was able to think clearly again. The hotel room was what I had expected: clean and with all furniture facing a television. Nevertheless, I took advantage of the never-ending supply of hot water with a thirty-minute shower. Scalding hot water running down my back and the scent strawberry shampoo filling the room, I was finally able to relax after my long, stressful day of relaxation.

When I exited the steam-filled bathroom, I opened my bag to fish out my pajamas. However, they were nowhere to be found. Belatedly, I realized that in my morning haste, I had never packed them.

I sat on the side of the bed that I would be sharing with my mum, seeing as both of us knew better than to even ask Petunia to share. I looked over at the nightstand to check the time quickly. Yes, it was definitely time for sleep to undo all of this beauty.

"Mum?" I asked her. "Do you have any extra—"

"Oh, I know what you want," she cut me off as she sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "Since I wanted to speak to your father anyway, you can call James up—but only for a few minutes. Phone rates are pretty pricy, so keep the sweet nothings to a minimum."

My face flushed. "That's not what I—" I tried to correct her as I pulled away from her embrace, but she held up a hand to interrupt me.

"I was once young and in love, too," she assured me. "I wasn't born a Mum with wrinkles and two teenage girls who can't seem to get along. I know what it's like to be separated from the fellow you love. Petunia ran downstairs to see if she could get more pillows for her back because apparently four aren't enough. I'll go find her and give you some privacy so you can call him."

"Oh, umm, thanks, Mum."

She winked at me and then left the room. Realizing it was a necessary evil, I took a deep breath.

What would James's girlfriend do?

Sighing, I picked up the hotel phone, followed the instructions for outside calls, and then dialed the house phone number.

"Hello?" a male voice answered.

"Hello?" I inquired. "It's Lily."

"Hello, Lily, it's the man who helped make you."

I grinned. "Hi, daddy! How are you?"

"Good, Lils. It's always nice to be able to order Indian food. I miss my girls, though. It's less fun without you all around talking my ears off all the time."

I laughed. "I assure you that you're having more fun. I almost had to eat a cucumber sandwich."

"Ahh, that does sound dangerous. Do you want me to come rescue you?" he offered.

"No," I replied, though it did sound appealing. "Hey, dad, would it be okay if I talked to James?" I asked.

There was a palpable silence.

"Oh," he said with a noticeable sadness in his voice. "Yeah, sure, baby girl. I'll get him."

I bit my lip. "Thanks, Dad. I'll talk to you soon!" I added with a cheerful tone.

"Goodnight, Lils," he replied.

Feeling unspeakably guilty, I waited for James to pick up the phone.

"LILY?" a voice yelled into my ear.

"Merlin, James, you don't need to shout, I can hear you!" I exclaimed.

"Really?" he said in a less booming, but still vociferous tone. "How can you hear me from so many kilometers away? Is there a Sonorus charm involved?"

I shook my head. Really, how did this boy tie his own shoes without magic? I realized with a laugh that he probably didn't. "Speak at a normal volume, James. It's a muggle invention. Electricity is sent through telephone wires."

"Blimey," James whispered. "I'll never get used to this. It's so much faster than owls. Muggles really have it so much better."

"Except that they can't do magic," I reminded.

"Ahh, right," he agreed. "So why are you calling me?"

I sighed. "Apparently, it's girlfriend etiquette for one to call her boyfriend before she goes to bed."

"So that she can describe what she's wearing?" he asked hopefully.

I didn't need to see him to know that he was smirking.

"No!" I replied back.

"Then why?"

"I dunno, to tell him how much she loves him and wishes she was with him right now, or something of that revolting nature?"

"So do you love me, Lily?" he prompted.

"No," I replied cheerfully.

"Aww," he whined playfully. "Well, then will you at least tell me what you're wearing?"

"James!" I screeched as I listened to his laughter in my ear.

"What? It's just pajamas."

I frowned. "If you must know, I left mine at home." Before I could give him a chance to say anything after that, I continued quickly. "I'm wearing one of the hotel's robes."

I couldn't quite make out what he said next, but it sounded like "lucky robe." I rolled my eyes and laid my stomach down onto the bed.

"What did you and my father do today?" I asked to change subjects.

"Nothing too exciting," he answered. "Vermin stayed over, much to our delight. He didn't say it, but I think your sister threatened him to guard her room. Apparently, I can't be trusted."

I smiled. He sounded completely giddy at the thought.

"I hope you treated him as a welcome guest," I said with mock civility.

"Marauders' honor, love," he promised.

"Ahh, and I know that all Marauders are the epitome of virtue," I teased.

"Chivalry is our one true goal, Mademoiselle," he replied. "Of course, when we're not courting pretty damsels, such as yourself, into our less courteous and more snogworthy broom closets.

I laughed loudly. Even though I knew the space was necessary because he was still the scourge of the underworld and a giant, egotistical prick, for inexplicable reasons it felt good to be talking with James again. It was like I was back home even in this nondescript hotel room.

"So when are you coming home?" he asked.

"I dunno," I replied. "Apart from the Cruciatus curse, I don't think these spa people can torture me in any more ways."

"You're kidding."

"No, James, I'm not. You remember that time in Care of Magical Creatures when you were attacked by a grindylow?"

"I was not attacked! I was merely allowing the class to observe the dangers—"

"Like I was saying, it's about fifty billion times worse than that."

"Like being sorted into Slytherin?" he asked with a fearfully reverent tone.

I chuckled. "Yes, James, like being sorted into Slytherin. There's even green, slimy stuff everywhere!"

"Oh, my poor baby," he teased.

I grinned despite myself as my fingers absentmindedly played with the telephone's cord.

The door opened, and I looked up. My mum entered followed by Petunia and her pillows.

"Ahh, James, we are no longer alone."

"A baby already, Lils? I thought we were waiting. What kind of spa is that?" he accused teasingly.

"Shush," I warned him as I bit back my laughter.

"Lily?" Mum called. "Ahh, look at you all sweet on the phone. Quick, tell James you love him and then give me the phone so I can talk to your father."

"James," I said into the phone.

"Yes, Lily?"

"I've been ordered by my mother to tell you that I love you and then to give the phone away."

He laughed. "Well, it's nice to know that you'd only utter such sentiments under orders." He paused. "Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

"My dad's listening over your shoulder, isn't he?"

"Sure," he replied.

"Well, bye, then."

"Bye, Lily."

I handed the phone to my mum. As she started chatting away, I turned to Petunia. "Got enough pillows?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes.

Once my mum had finished and Petunia, in an entirely necessary 47-minute long endeavor, called Vermin, which I am disgusted to say involved a fake argument over who should hang up first, I turned off the light and settled into my sheets.

"Mum?" I called softly.

"Yeah, Lily?" she replied with the sound muffled by her pillow.

"Thanks for taking me with you and Petunia."

"Mhmm, you're welcome."

I fell asleep shortly after that in the middle of longing for my own bed. After what felt like only a few hours, I felt cool air on my neck.

"Lily, wake up" a voice whispered into my ear.

"It's not morning yet," I groaned as I peeked an eye open to gage that it was still pitch black in the room.

"Lily, love, it's James," the voice said so closely to my ear that I felt warm lips graze my skin.

I opened my eyes slowly. "James?" I asked softly.

I watched his hand move red hair out of my face. When his fingers strayed too long before retreating, I realized that this was not a dream. Not that I normally dreamt about James Potter, of course.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. I looked over my shoulder to make sure that my mum was still sleeping. I already knew Petunia was; she snored….loudly.

He opened his mouth to start his, I'm sure, very reasonable explanation, but I kicked off my covers, grabbed him by the elbow, and dragged him into the bathroom.

"Well, if you wanted me alone, you could have just asked," he said.

"James," I threatened.

"Be gentle with me, darling. It's my first time," he teased.

"James!"

All teasing aside, he wiped away his grin and pleaded to me with wide, innocent eyes. "Lily, don't be mad. I actually have a good reason for coming."

I flicked on the bathroom light. "You have ten seconds. Go."

"Well, you mentioned that you forgot your pajamas, and I wanted you to be comfortable. So I thought I'd get them for you, but then I knew you'd Bat-Bogey Hex me, or something, if I ever went into your room without your explicit permission, so I brought you one of my shirts. Here," finished James, thoroughly out of breath as he handed me a scarlet mass of fabric.

Shocked, I unfolded it. It was his Quidditch jersey, complete with his name on the back. I was slightly touched. "Thank you," I said, but since the words sounded too tender coming out of my mouth in such a quiet tone, I loudly added, "I guess."

He smiled at me with a carefree shrug of his shoulders. "No problem." He smirked and then messed up his hair. "I guess."

I stiffened up. "Though, you could have just owled it to me," I accused.

He grinned sheepishly. "Well, I admit, I kind of wanted to see you."

A part of me really wanted to tell him that I was glad he came, that I had missed him too, that I was looking forward to returning to him tomorrow. But that, of course, was not me. I was Lily Evans, and I was in control of this boyfriend nonsense. I wasn't going to let this pretense get to me, no matter how many stupidly sweet stunts James pulled.

"You'll see me tomorrow," I reminded him pointedly. "Today, actually," I corrected as I vaguely wondered what awful hour it must have been.

"Oh, Lily, just cut the standoffish crap and tell me you're glad to see me."

I half-smiled at him. "James," I said slowly. "It was so good of you to come. Now, please, exit the bathroom."

"Why?" he asked.

"So that I can put on your shirt."

"Why am I leaving again?" he asked impishly.

Rolling my eyes, I shoved his chest towards the door. He raised his eyebrow at me naughtily, but I opened the door and then promptly pushed him out.

Once alone in the bathroom, I lifted his shirt up to my nose and inhaled. Merlin, it smelled heavenly. No cologne was ever quite able to capture the smell of warm teenage boy. My eyes fluttered as I let my nostrils enjoy the ecstasy. Then I took off my robe and slipped the shirt over my head. The sleeves reached far past my elbows and the length revealed quite a bit of leg, but it was soft. With just a quick glance in the mirror to check my hair and to make sure there wasn't any dried drool on my face, I shut off the light and walked back into the hotel room.

James was waiting for me by the window. His eyes scanned me up and down as I tiptoed over to him.

"You look really nice in my shirt," he whispered to me as his fingers traced down my arm, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touched.

"James, it's late," I said softly. "You should go."

He nodded. The moonlight played tricks on his face. It was a contrast with dark and white that highlighted his eyes behind the reflection of his glasses and the whiteness of his teeth underneath his parted lips. "I should."

His fingers traveled back up my arm and over my collarbone that was exposed by the V-neck of his jersey.

"And my mum and Petunia are right here sleeping," I said quietly as his fingers moved to caress the back of my neck.

"And we don't want to wake them," he finished for me.

"So you need to leave," I whispered as my hands subconsciously found his torso.

"Need to, have to, should already be gone by now," he breathed.

"So I guess this is goodbye then," I said, even though I was actually inching towards him.

"But I should make it a proper one because we're not alone."

"But they're sleeping," I said. "It's not necessary."

"No, not necessary," he sighed.

"But they might wake up," I offered quietly.

"So it's completely necessary."

"Necessary," I breathed.

All speech was silenced as he rubbed his thumb slowly across my cheek and let his fingers massage my hair.

"Mmm," he moaned softly into my ear. I was so close that I could feel the vibrations in his chest. "Your cheek is so soft."

His other hand rose to my face as well, and with the light of the moon I watched his lips meet mine. He kissed me gently with the most feather light of touches. My body molded softly into his with my hands still pressed against his chest. My eyes fluttered close, and I lost myself in his tenderness. Very slowly, his lips stopped moving until he pulled away.

"Goodnight, Lily," he whispered before his hands slowly left my face and he stepped back.

As I watched him pick up his broom, open the window, and turn back to smile at me one last time before he flew away, I realized something very important.

I was so not in control.

* * *

A/N: hello, beautiful readers! first of all, i apologize if i offended anyone with lily's "small" dislike of spas. personally, i enjoy doing my nails, but massages usually hurt me. maybe it's because i've never actually gotten one done professionally. still, i hope i did not hurt any spa-enthusiasts feelings. at the same time, i'd like to also apologize to my sole male (and wonderful) reader for having to endure the girliness of this chapter. this one is supposed to be about lily regaining her cool and reminding herself that she doesn't have feelings for james, but i just couldn't help but to have him show up with his stupid lips. i thank you all for your always insightful reviews. i truly enjoy reading what you all have to say. thanks again!

spectrally yours,  
molly


	7. Blushing Home

_Previously on Boyfriend:_

_As I watched him pick up his broom, open the window, and turn back to smile at me one last time before he flew away, I realized something very important.__I was so not in control._

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**Chapter Seven**  
**Blushing Home**

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* * *

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_"Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath." - Arnold H. Glasow_

* * *

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Merlin, bloody stop. _Finite Incantatem_.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Shut the ruddy hell up!

Be—

I swung out my arm and smacked the crap out of whatever was so inconsiderately arousing me from my slumber.

"Oww! Bloody freaking oww!" I yelped. I moved my blankets out of my face and opened my eyes to examine my hand. Thankfully, no blood was visible, but a dark red mark was forming by my knuckles. That was going to bruise. Moaning languidly, I wriggled a bit so that I was almost in a sitting position.

"Lily? Are you okay? What happened?"

Great. Now my mother thought I was being murdered in my sleep. I knew that shrill tone of panic. It was motherly concern voice number nine.

Beep. Beep. Be-

I looked over at the malevolent alarm clock and switched it off. My worthy adversary was defeated. I slumped down onto my pillows.

"Lily!" My mum called from the bathroom, I guessed.

I groaned. "I'm fine, Mum. No rapists or murderers or Petunia. You can stop freaking out."

"What was that noise? Are you hurt?"

I looked down at my hand, which was still bright red and swelling very slightly. At least my nails still looked good. Now I couldn't be forced back for a retouch before we left the Spa From Hell.

"Just my hand and my pride," I called back to her. "Who sets an alarm clock?"

I could hear her chuckling from all the way underneath the covers. "Lily, it's what you're supposed to do with them. It's completely normal."

"Yeah, well, I'm not," I retorted grumpily. "I hate beeping noises."

Emerging from the bathroom and looking refreshed, my mum walked over to me with laughter in her eyes. I hated it when people laughed at my expense. I was in pain!

She sat down on the bed next to me and kissed my forehead.

"Yes, but I needed to get you up somehow. I didn't want to get kicked, and Petunia's downstairs getting her arms waxed."

Ignoring her latter comment and the utter absurdity surrounding my sister and her unfathomable brain which made her think her blonde arms were hairy, I frowned at her.

"You set it?"

"Yes, and now you're up," she told me with a grin. "See, it does work!"

"Ooh, amazing. So do guns, but we don't test them out on our poor, unsuspecting children," I muttered underneath my breath.

"I heard that," Mum grumbled and smacked me over the covers.

"Oww!" I screeched. Somehow, she had managed to hit my hand. I tore it out from underneath the covers. "Of all the places," I moaned.

"Oh, let me see that," Mum said as she grabbed my hand.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry," she apologized while decreasing the amount of pressure she was using. She analyzed my hand with her fingers and pressed gingerly on the forming bruise. I did my best not to whimper or let the tears forming in my eyes fall.

"Well, it's definitely not broken. You don't need a doctor."

"Thank Merlin," I breathed. I hated hospitals and examinations. They always made you take your clothes off, wear those gowns that exposed your butt, and then asked you embarrassing questions like "how long has it been since you've last engaged in sexual intercourse?" or "have you pooped yet today?". Frankly, I was not in the mood today.

"We'll just keep an eye on it and maybe get some ice at breakfast before we leave."

I looked up at her eagerly. "We're leaving soon?"

If she noticed the enthusiasm that our bonding would be over soon, she didn't let on. "Yes, we're going to spend a few hours at the mall first before we head home. Petunia has a party to go to with Vernon that she needs a new dress for."

The mall? Hell, I'd rather go to the hospital. I'd take butt-revealing gowns any day over Petunia's fashion choices. At least, then I would know that only my butt was being revealed. Damn my hand for not being broken!

"Mum, Tuney takes forever to pick out clothes! Can't you just drop me off at home?"

My mum ruffled my hair. "Then, I'd have to endure the torture alone. If I'm going down, Lily, I'm bringing you with me. Besides, the sooner you get ready, the sooner we can get this all over with." She smiled at me to try to make it seem enjoyable, but I knew better than to accept the bait. Unfortunately, I had made a promise to myself not to upset my mum.

I sighed dramatically and then threw my legs over the side of the bed before heaving myself upwards. I stumbled towards the bathroom.

"Lily?" Mum called.

I halted by the door and turned around. "Yeah, Mum?"

"Were you wearing that shirt last night?" she asked me with suspicious eyes.

My face immediately blushed, and I begged every higher power that I could think of that she would not read too much into this. "Umm, no. I got hot last night and found it at the very bottom of my suitcase. I must have missed it before," I babbled quickly.

She nodded, but the skepticism still lined her face. She opened her mouth to say something else, but I quickly averted any more questioning by yanking the bathroom door open and launching myself inside. "Gotta pee, Mum!"

With my back against the door, I took a brief moment to regain my wits. Running my fingers through my hair, I moved over to the sink and splashed some water on my face. Looking at my red cheeks, I took a deep breath. Today was day five, and I was fairly certain that I was already having a mental breakdown.

I mean, last night! I had let him get too close. I needed to stop letting him affect me so much physically. I couldn't believe that his body could make mine act so primitively, instinctually. He just had to get within a few centimeters of me, and my entire body succumbed to the estrogen flooding through my veins. Thankfully, however, my brain was in better shape. I knew he was still the same James Potter. That, at least, would never change.

I carefully took James's shirt off and sniffed it one last time before guiltily folding it and putting it where it wouldn't get ruined. Then, I stepped into the shower. Time to get ready for the mall. Happy, happy, bloody, joy, joy!

I ate breakfast without really tasting anything. I doubted I missed out on anything too spectacular. Complimentary breakfasts always meant the same thing: bland cinnamon rolls, fatty bacon, and orange juice with too much pulp in it. My mum tried to engage me into a conversation about her plans for her students next year, but I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts and drowsiness to reply with anything very meaningful. Eventually, she gave up on trying to capture my attention with her coloring ideas and short story read-a-thons and talked to Petunia, instead.

I would have pitied her, but my hand bloody hurt.

Once the lackluster breakfast was over, we grabbed our bags from the room and left after searching all the drawers for anything we might have missed. The world would have imploded if we had left Tuney's favorite eyelash curler behind. However, all that was left was the Bible. Vaguely, I wondered if the Leaky Cauldron had any books that it left out for its patrons. I highly doubted that _Hogwarts, A History _would have the same desired effect. Nevertheless, we piled into the elevator and went all the way down.

Petunia and I hovered around the posh lobby furniture while Mum checked us out.

"Your arms look very hairless," I told Petunia.

"Thank you," she replied without really turning to address me except for a flash of her eyes.

I decided it would be better for everyone present if I didn't mention that my comment had not been meant as a compliment.

"You should really consider getting waxed," Petunia told me in an unfamiliar attempt at helpfulness. "It lasts for so much longer than shaving does."

"Yeah," I agreed. "But it hurts too."

Petunia shrugged and pivoted so that she was facing me now. "Yeah, but it's nice for the summer. That way you don't have to shave everything every morning. Sometimes, I long for pants."

I smiled. "But then you always get too restless and long for flip-flops."

"No, I don't," she argued.

"Yes, you do!" I corrected her. "Mum got so mad at you that one winter when you wore them to school and nearly got frostbite on your feet!"

"Oh," she chuckled. "Right."

I related to her completely. I hated when any season wore on for too long. I always felt the need to change, to escape, to begin something new. I hated feeling trapped.

"But it's too hot to wear anything long in the summer," Petunia complained. "So I'm stuck habitually removing hair from my body," she resigned with a bitter sigh.

I grinned. All females knew exactly how she felt. "Great genetics we've got, huh? Mum's side has heart disease, and Dad's family are all hairy beasts. It's a good thing we're pretty," I added as a joke.

"Some of us," she countered as she poked me in the arm.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

Petunia rolled her eyes, but smiled lightly. "We should really look into trading them in for a new model."

I chuckled quietly. "But then we would be so normal," I reminded her as I contorted my face in disgust at the word. "Didn't we decide that we were going to be superheroes when we were younger? Do you remember that day when Dad showed us all of his old comic books?"

Petunia nodded. "I remember. I was going to be the superhero, and you were going to be my trusty sidekick because you were shorter than me."

"And I always threw a tantrum because I wanted to be the superhero, too," I said as I recalled the memory fondly.

"We even convinced Mum to help us make costumes," Petunia added.

"We did," I agreed.

My mum walked over to us with a large smile on her face. "What's this?" she asked rhetorically. "My girls are actually talking, in fact, smiling," she emphasized, "without fighting? Did I miss something? Did they make an announcement that there was going to be a natural disaster soon? Should I invest in some flood gear?"

I laughed humorously. "Funny, Mum," I deadpanned.

"I thought so," she sing-songed.

"You were the only one," Petunia muttered. "I knew we should have traded in," she added quietly.

Mum looked at her strangely, but Petunia didn't reveal anything. I caught her eye, and we smirked together.

As we got into the car, I reflected on how glad I was that I hadn't just told Petunia that I could magic off my hair anytime I wanted to. Everything was so much easier when I pretended to be normal. I knew it was wrong, and I knew that I was special and all that crap, and I knew that I could be so much more with my gifts, that I had the responsibility to do more. But for my sister's sake, I desperately wanted to be normal.

However, our moment of sisterly bonding turned out to be just as fleeting as anyone could have predicted. By the end of the car ride to the mall, we were both affronted and loudly not speaking to each other. I seemed to be incapable of not saying something flippant whenever Vernon was brought up, and Petunia always had to take it as a personal attack. I knew I should have kept the whale stuff to myself. But still! It was a perfectly legitimate comparison. She was just being impossible. As always.

Annoyed more with the frequency of our fighting rather than this particular fight itself, Mum sighed heavily and forced us into the nearest department store. We were going to bond, damnit, and no amount of hissy fits was going to change that. I had to admire her pluckiness. For a Mum, mine kind of kicked ass.

It was hard reminding myself of that fact as she forced me to try on clothes, however.

"Mum," I told her irately. "I don't need any dresses. I'm a witch. We wear robes!"

"Because you belong in bathrooms," Petunia sneered.

"Well, then you must see a lot of wizards, then, Tuney, because when are you not in the bathroom fretting over your imagined blackheads?"

Ahh, now things were back to _normal_. Insult and comeback, repeated over and over again. It was a familiar rhythm that I had memorized long ago.

"Stop it, you two. If you don't behave, we're going home right now," my mum interrupted us sternly.

"Great!" I exclaimed as I put the dresses down on a chair in the dressing room.

"Lily," warned Mum, looking so much like a tiger about to pounce that I picked the dresses back up and walked into one of the changing rooms.

"I really don't need any dresses," I insisted as I tugged off my clothes without caring if they got all wrinkled. "I don't ever go anywhere anyway."

"You never know when you'll need something nice to wear. It's good just to have it in your closet in case the opportunity presents itself," called Mum wisely, as only women who have experienced life could advise.

I immaturely rolled my eyes and, with a great deal of body contortions, tugged the zipper up my back. Unceremoniously and without even glancing at myself in the mirror first, I pushed open the door and emerged.

"Voila," I muttered acerbically.

My mother and my sister eyed me critically. In my family, if something looked ugly, we said it. Their gazes made me feel uncomfortable.

"I'll just go take it off then," I mumbled.

"Don't!" Mum assured me. "It looks lovely on you, Lily. Do you like it?"

I looked into the closest mirror. The dress was strapless and about an inch above my knees. It was white but adorned with a colorful floral pattern mostly around the bodice. I had to concede, even though I didn't really want to, that it was a very pretty dress. Still, I would never have any place to wear it to. I couldn't exactly show up to the Hogwarts Halloween feast in this getup.

"Lily doesn't even want it, Mum. Shouldn't we be trying to find me a dress?" Petunia, forever the narcissist, complained.

"Just a second," Mum insisted. "Lily, as your mother, who so rarely offers to spend money on things and won't have the chance to do so in the future because as soon as you graduate your father and I are promptly kicking you out of the house so you can just magic your own money, I suggest you stop being so bloody stubborn and let me buy you the dress."

I snorted.

"Besides," she added with a smile. "I think James would really like it."

And just like that, I had a new dress.

Riled, I watched my mother slyly saunter off behind Petunia. She played dirty.

I changed quickly and dragged my bloody dress behind me. Who cared if James would think I would look pretty in it? I didn't need to dress up for him. He wasn't even my real boyfriend. Besides, he'd seemed just fine with what I had worn last night. I blushed when I thought about his t-shirt, which I had fastidiously packed away into my suitcase after, I was ashamed to admit, I had put a charm on it so that his smell would never leave it. Yes, apparently I was that pathetic.

Shaking my head to rid the weird thoughts that had been plaguing me all day, I finally found the other Evans women. My mum was trying to persuade Petunia to consider what I thought was a pretty skirt, but Petunia just sniffed her nose at it with her Tuney 'tude.

"Mum, I'm going to Vernon's promotion celebration, not to a grimy retirement party. I don't need to look like I'm in geriatrics," Petunia complained.

"Vernon got promoted?" I asked. "So can he actually use the copier now, or is that still too advanced for him?"

I laughed at my own joke, but my mum's withering gaze silenced me quickly.

"Lily, shut it," she hissed into my ear before whacking me in the arm.

"Petunia, you don't like any of the dresses and since you can't seem to even subject yourself to the skirts, I don't know what else to tell you," said Mum diplomatically.

"Well, then, we'll just have to go to another store," said Petunia simply. "Preferably not one with such tacky clothes," she added haughtily with an eye on my dress.

I forced my features into a grin. I might or might not have been sending hexes at her with my eyes.

We, well, Mum, paid for the dress, and then we traveled to a different, much more expensive and presumptuous store that advertised its "only the best" policy. From the overzealous workers to the trendy music, the entire place made me want to gag. Of course, Petunia adored it.

She fluttered through the racks of clothing and snatched the miniature-sized clothing like it would disappear if it wasn't in her hands immediately.

"Mum," I called. "I'll be right back. I'm going to run to another store."

My mother looked at me with panic in her eyes. "Don't leave me alone with her," she pleaded.

"Mum," I cooed with a smile. "This trip is about bonding. Don't you want to spend quality time with your eldest daughter while you still can?"

My mum eyed me murderously. "I'll make you make small talk with Vernon for the rest of the summer!" she threatened.

I laughed as I strode out the door.

Glad to be out of that claustrophobic store, I went to the only place I ever really enjoyed going to in the mall: the book store. As I walked inside, I strained my ears for any sound, but gloriously, I was met only with welcomed silence. I smiled. I allowed my fingers to skim the spines of books as I meandered through the shelves. I stopped at the Classic Literature section and gazed at all of the noteworthy volumes. Writing came naturally to me. I could pop out a half-meter on the Goblin Wars, or something equally as heinous, in thirty minutes. Still, I never ceased to be amazed by the wondrous allure of good fiction. I could link a few phrases together: subject, verb, object. Yet, nothing I could ever write about Potion Theory would compare to the love before me. For, if something was going to be written well, it must be done so with love.

I gently pulled one of my beloved volumes off the shelf and turned to my favorite part. I inhaled the smell of newly printed pages and sat down in the middle of the aisle. Sliding my legs underneath me, I immersed myself into the pages. It felt heavenly to be in someone else's world where magic really was the stuff of fairy tales. Time ticked by, and I was safe in my own little world. No one bothered me, and I had no worries, no expectations, and no thoughts other than the story. The only possible downside was that at some point I would have to leave this wonderful world and return to my own.

After I had finished a chapter, I slowly got up and put the book back. Though I could have stayed in the store for hours and still wanted more, I needed to return to my mother before my sister killed her. Though, I was sure that if it had come down to it, my mum could have taken her. Petunia might kick, but my mum could put some force behind a punch.

As I could have easily guessed, my mother was not happy when I returned. I heard her spouting off about her gray hairs when I arrived. Apparently, we all had hair issues. She clung to my arm like a drowning person would to a lifeguard. I had the nail marks to prove it. Eventually, after I had rolled my eyes at least a dozen times, snorted indignantly twice that amount, and vowed to never allow Petunia near retail again, we left and got some lunch.

Eyeing Petunia's dainty forkful of salad, I shoved my chicken sandwich into my face and grinned into its juicy tenderness.

"Excuse me," said Petunia, who sounded slightly disgusted. "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

"Yeah, to avoid my sandwich's awesomeness," I mumbled to myself as I watched her retreat, most likely to find if she could get dressing with negative calories to go "on the side."

"Lily, I need to talk to you about something," my mum said as she put down her fork and watched me with guarded eyes. Her eye was twitching slightly, which was never a good sign.

I nodded with a mouthful of fried goodness. "Okay, shoot," I answered after swallowing.

"I'm worried about your relationship with James," she said cautiously.

I put down my sandwich in shock. Did she really just say that? Was this the chance I had been looking for to end this whole debacle? Yes, Merlin loved me again!

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Lily, you're seventeen years old, and now you have this boyfriend who you have really strong feelings for. And, I know what it's like when you're in love with a boy and all you want to do is be together."

I nodded slowly. Sure, I guess you could call it that. What would James's girlfriend do?

"And don't get me wrong, I adore James. I think he's a wonderful boy. He's so polite and charming and handsome."

"Yeah, he's a wonder," I replied without bothering to remove the sarcasm.

"Which is why I'm worried about you," she said.

I wrinkled my noise. "I'm not following you," I told her.

She sighed wearily. "Lily, I realize that you and James might want to be sexually intimate, and I-"

I banged my hand down onto the table in shock. Of course, it was the bruised hand, but I was too frozen with mortification to even worry about the stinging. "Mum!" I screeched.

"Lily, I feel we need to have this conversation. You have all this peer pressure, and you're thinking, 'Well, if everyone else is doing it, why can't I?'"

"Mum, don't tell me what I'm thinking!" I squealed as I tried to hide my bright red face underneath the table of out booth.

"Lily, this is important," she chastised.

"Aww, Mum!" I interrupted her. "You can't seriously want to have a sex talk with me right now," I complained. "This is a public restaurant."

"I know that, Lily," she continued. "But this morning when I saw you in his t-shirt I thought it was time for us to have a little chat."

Damn, I knew that shirt would get me into trouble. It smelled too bloody good not to.

"Mum, please not now," I begged her as I felt my face begin to redden even more.

"Lily, boys want certain things from girls. They have urges that are stronger than ours."

I highly doubted she had ever been snogged by James Potter. Hell, I knew what urges were. Mine were probably a hell of a lot stronger than his were lately. Oh, Merlin, I really just thought that. My face turned ten times redder than before.

"It's a natural, beautiful part of life. However, you need to be mature enough to handle it. Plus, there are risks: unwanted pregnancy, herpes, genital warts."

"Mum!" I squealed as I eyed the other diners furtively. "Not so loud!"

"You just need to make sure you're ready, sweetheart. Don't rush into anything. Personally, I'd rather you waited till you were married, but I trust that you'll make the right decision for you. I remember when your father and I—"

"Mum, if you do not want me to end up in therapy for the rest of my life, I need you to stop talking," I ordered.

"But—" she tried.

"No," I cut her off. "In my mind, you and Daddy got me from the stork in a basket with a balloon tied to the top. End of discussion."

"Lily, you're being very immature about all this."

"Yes, well, you're being too graphic for my liking," I told her.

She laughed freely as I wanted to find a small, dark hole to curl into. "Well, how am I supposed to know what's going on? You and James are at the same school without parental supervision for the majority of the year. It worries me."

Against my will, my mind pictured us together at Hogwarts. It would be so easy for him to sneak up to my dormitory one night, even with the stair rule, and ruin my mother's precious calm. Hands, tongues, limbs would entwine. I thought of the sighs he could make me moan with just snogging and wondered how much they would intensify. Then, I looked at my mother. Sexy thoughts gone.

"Besides," she continued. "If you aren't mature enough to even talk about sex with your mother, the woman who gave birth to you, I feel like you're not ready to engage in it."

"That's not a big problem, Mum," I muttered.

"What?" she asked hopefully.

I fiddled with my hands awkwardly as the blush continued to control my face. She was really going to make me say it. "James and I are not having sex," I mumbled.

She sighed audibly. "Oh, thank God," she muttered before smiling at me. "Not that I don't like James, Lily, dear, but I just don't think you're ready yet. You'll know when the time is right for you. You've always been a bright girl. I know you'll make smart, _safe_ choices, Lily," she told me. "Choices that hopefully won't happen till you're forty."

I rolled my eyes.

"Now are you sure you don't want to hear any of my stories?" she offered wickedly. "I have some good ones, kinky too."

My eyes bulged out of their sockets, but before I could even begin to articulate a response, Petunia sat down.

I had never been so happy to see her in my entire life.

My face was almost back to its normal complexion when we arrived home. Eagerly, I flounced inside and let my eyes linger over all of the familiar images: the scrubbed, wooden kitchen table, the picture of a crying Petunia and my toothless self, pulling Petunia's hair, from when we were younger that hung by the stairs, and the worn, snug couch that swallowed you when you sat down.

"We're home!" my mum announced to the whole house.

I heard some shuffling of feet and other noises before the boys – well, I supposed a male whale could also be considered a boy, loosely – promptly rushed down the stairs and arrived at our side. James's eyes found me quickly. I looked back at him for a blazing second before my mum caught my eye, and my face started to heat up again.

"My women are back!" my dad exclaimed as he embraced my mother. "I was worried that the police were going to call me soon to inform me of an epic chick fight."

"Dad!" I squealed.

"Hey, baby girl," he greeted as he threw his arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. "And Tuney," he added as he reached out for Petunia as well. "My two favorite daughters. I'm glad you didn't kill each other. It takes so long to get past that annoying toilet-training phase."

"Dad!" Petunia screeched.

Laughing genially, he let us go and turned back to my mother. "You look more radiant than ever, dear."

My mum giggled but then controlled her face into a scowl. "Don't flatter me, Henry. I can smell the Indian food."

"Damn," my dad sighed. "Cat's out of the bag now, James. I told you she's got a nose like a dog."

"Henry!"

At this point, I was too distracted by James, who was less than a meter away from me, to pay any more attention to my lovesick parents. Wordlessly, we followed each other into the empty living room.

"I'm back," I offered lamely with an uneasy smile.

He grinned. "Yeah, have fun?"

"On a scale of one to ten?" I asked.

James nodded.

"It sucked. My mum thinks we're having sex."

He barked out a laugh and pulled me into a hug. "That's fantastic!" he chuckled.

"Idiot," I muttered darkly. "It was awful!"

"Poor, Lily," he cooed sweetly. "Would it really be so bad?" he asked with a laugh as he allowed his hands to drift lower down my back.

"James!" I squealed and brought them back up. "Yes, it would. Remember? That was the one part of this whole ridiculous arrangement that we have ironed out for sure."

"Sorry, I'm so forgetful," he whispered as he nuzzled his face into my neck so that I could feel his breathing and warmth pressed up against me. "I'm glad you're back," he sighed into my ear.

I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent, which was so much stronger than that of my new favorite shirt. "Me too," I admitted.

"Missed me?" he asked as he pulled away from the hug so that he could look me in the eye.

"Less than I missed my bed," I answered cheekily.

"Well, I know one sure fire way to solve both those problems," he replied back with a wink.

Rolling my eyes, I shoved his chest backward. "Not in this lifetime, Potter. Now, shush. My mum will hear you," I hissed. "Do you know how mortifying that was? I don't think I'll be able to look her in the eye for a week."

"I think it would be a rather pleasant experience," countered James, smirking.

"James," I threatened.

"Lily," he mirrored, though his utterance sounded less like a warning and more like a reverent prayer, as he let his fingers roam across my face in what felt like an attempt to memorize every feature.

"I can't believe you can be so nonchalant about all of this," I told him. "I was a complete and utter mess the entire time. I can't even think about it without my face going all red and splotchy."

He chortled as his thumbs brushed over the evidence of my obvious embarrassment. "We're in control of the situation."

I snorted. Maybe he was, but I definitely wasn't.

"Parents are petrified of their children growing up," he continued. "I'm sure you would have gotten the talk eventually, regardless. My parents gave me it when I turned fifteen, and there were many long-winded and unfortunate metaphors. To this day, I can't look at hippos without blushing."

"Hippos?" I asked.

His face reddened slightly as he fidgeted in what some could call an adorable manner. "My dad really should not use metaphors."

"I guess it's dreadful for everyone then," I sighed. "I was hoping my mum would just wait till I was old and gray to give me it. Too bad my fake boyfriend just happened to expedite the process."

He grinned. "Can you blame her? Of course that's what she would be thinking. I'm devilishly handsome, you know," he teased. "She has every reason to be fearful for your purity."

I refused to let those enticing words, combined with the flicker of lust in his eyes, let my breathing falter. My lungs, however, refused to comply.

"You're easier to resist than you think," I told him.

"Oh, really?" he challenged. He grabbed my hip and guided me over to the couch. He leaned over so far that I had no choice but to lay down to preserve the space between us. He moved even closer to me so that his face was only mere centimeters away from my own and his body was pressed into mine.

My breath came out in shallow spurts that revealed how poorly I was resisting.

"You're saying," he whispered as his breath mingled with mine. "That you're not thinking anything sexual right now?"

My heart pounded in my chest. "No," I choked out, though to my ears it sounded more like a question.

He moved his lips down so they hovered along my jaw until they found a pressure point at my neck and teased the flesh there with the most tantalizing of touches.

"Are you sure?" he pressed huskily.

I felt my eyes want to roll to the back of my head. "No," I breathed.

"Mmm," he groaned so that I felt the vibrations in his chest along with the breath against my neck. "I thought so," he stated slowly.

Then, he popped up off of me with a grin. I sat up in dazed confusion. What? Where was the kiss? How dare he leave me just waiting like that? I opened my mouth to protest, but then I realized that would give him way too much power. I snapped it shut forcefully.

He must have noticed my hungry stare and disappointed eyes because he started laughing.

"James! You tricked me!" I accused as I swatted him with my arm. "That's not fair!"

"And neither are you when you look at me with your innocent little eyes and talk about sex with me. I'm a teenage boy, love. I can't control myself around you."

"Doesn't seem like it," I muttered.

"That's because you're always breathing too hard to notice," he replied with an impish smirk.

I narrowed my eyes and reached out to smack him again, but his Quidditch reflexes were too fast for me.

He examined my hand carefully as I let out a wince of pain.

"What did you do?"

"The alarm clock was asking for it. It needed to be exterminated," I told him.

"Lily," he sighed as he gently trailed his fingers over my purpling bruise. I hissed, and he stopped abruptly.

"I'll make it all better," James promised.

I rolled my eyes. "If you're going to kiss it to make it better," I warned.

He laughed and took out his wand. "How quickly your mind jumps to my kisses," he replied. He pointed his wand at his hand and suddenly the pain was gone and so was the bruise.

I slapped my now healed hand to my forehead. "Merlin, I had my wand on me all day, and I never thought to do that. My muggle life must really be getting to me."

James chortled. "You were too busy trying to be just like Petunia," said James, pointing to my nails.

I rolled my eyes but then let my expression soften. "Thank you."

He shrugged and then raised my hand to his lips. "All better."

"Cheater."

He smirked at me.

We didn't have long to play chicken with suggestive words and forward caresses because dinner was soon ready. We had fish. Apparently, while we were doing the clichéd girls' outing, the boys went on the quintessential male bonding adventure: fishing. The mere mention of the idea made me want to giggle uncontrollably. I could just picture my father in his "special" fishing hat and thigh-high galoshes trying to pacify a nauseous Vernon as James sat in the back and chuckled as he rocked the boat. It was even more ridiculous than three women shouting in a dressing room.

After abandoning half of my chicken sandwich at lunch as a result of having felt too revolted to eat with the knowledge that my mum was worrying that James had, uh, shown me how his wand worked, I ate my fish with gusto. I chose to listen to my parents discuss their respective weekends as I plowed my forkfuls into my mouth. James, who had yet to stray far from my side since I had returned home, reached out for my left hand underneath the table.

With curiosity, I watched as he interlaced our fingers.

I leaned over. "Now you can't eat," I whispered to him.

"I'll use my left hand," he told me as he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, kissed my cheek, too close to the corner of my mouth for me to view it as chaste, and clumsily grabbed his fork with has left hand. As I watched him struggle to maneuver pieces of fish into his mouth, the corners of my mouth perked up on their own accord.

Once dinner was over, James left to go take a shower, and I tried very hard not to think about anything related to that completely prudent necessity that should not be used to fantasize in any way. It was necessary. Ahh, necessary meant something entirely different to me now. I would have to remove it from my vocabulary unless I, too, wanted to shower. I chose to squelch my thoughts by plopping down on at the kitchen chair next to my dad.

"Hey, daddy," I greeted him.

"Hello, my favorite flower."

I laughed. I only let my father refer to me as a plant. "What'cha doing?" I asked as I watched his fingers fiddle with a bunch of foreign metal objects.

"I'm just putting away some of my fishing gear," he told me. "I had a lot of fun today with the boys. James, particularly, is very good. He caught five out of the seven fish!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Really?" I remarked in interest. "I didn't know he fished."

"He doesn't apparently. But, he's very good with his hands."

I didn't need him to tell me that. I controlled the rising blush and hastily changed the subject. "I bet you had more fun than we did."

Dad chuckled. "Only my little Lils would hate getting pampered. You were always a weird kid. You wanted to climb mountains and create explosions. We never could get you to just sit down and play dolls with Petunia."

"That's because that's so boring," I dramatized as I scrunched my nose.

He tapped my nose with his pointer finger. "You were just like me when I was younger," he told me.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," he answered.

I smiled but then arranged my features into a fake pout. "Drat," I complained. "I wanted to be like someone cooler."

"Lily Evans!" he cried.

I giggled. "Just kidding, Dad."

He crossed his arms across his chest and made a show of sighing melodramatically. "You better be," he ordered.

We both broke out into fits of hysterics.

He took off his glasses and wiped his eyes as he tried to regain control. "Lily, I'm really glad you went with your Mum. It meant a lot to her to spend some time with her girls."

I blushed at his gratitude. My dad always made me feel like I was special just for doing the littlest things. Even remembering to bring laundry up the stairs would award me praise. Sadly, I could never shake the feeling that I didn't deserve it. "I could have been a bit nicer to Tuney," I admitted.

He smiled at me. "You do your best with what you can do. Older sisters are supposed to drive you mad. It's in the handbook. It's the younger sibling's job to antagonize them. Just ask your Aunt Lucy. I never missed an opportunity to annoy her as much as humanly possible. She positively hated me," Dad finished gleefully.

I laughed. "It's a good thing I'm the baby of the family then."

"You're not so little anymore, Lils," he reminded me softly.

"Yeah."

He paused for a second before opening his mouth to speak again. "You know, Lily, I really like James. I think he's a nice boy."

I smiled slowly. "He is," I sighed.

"Good, because I don't want anyone unworthy stealing away my little girl's affection away from me."

"Dad," I enunciated as though as I was talking to a toddler. "Don't worry about it. You're still my guy."

"Five fish, Lily!" he exclaimed excitedly. "On his first time out fishing, too!"

I shook my head and laughed.

I didn't see James again until midnight when he met me outside by the swings. "Hey," I greeted him.

"Hey."

He sat down next to me and started to rock in his swing a bit.

"My dad really likes you," I said. "He told me earlier."

James sighed in relief. "That's good. I wanted to make a good impression on your parents."

I frowned. "Because you're pretending to be my boyfriend, right?" I asked to make sure.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Well," I said as I struggled to say the next part. "Thanks, James. I really appreciate how much effort you're putting into this. It's probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever done, and I'm not even sure how we've managed to dupe everyone so far. So, er, thanks."

James chuckled. "You practiced that, didn't you?"

I shifted in my seat. "Maybe," I replied vaguely. He grinned at me, and I sighed in exasperation. "Well, you were inside for a long time!"

He laughed loudly. "Sorry I had to keep you waiting," he apologized. "And you're welcome, Lily, even though I don't really understand why you're thanking me. Though," he amended, "it is rather a nice change to what I've grown accustomed to."

I smiled sheepishly as I recalled all of the awful things I had said to James in the past. "Anyway," I continued. "You've managed to win over my dad, and we already know my mum's on board the S.S. Lily and James Prudeship."

James sniggered. "Funny," he remarked.

I shrugged. "It comes and goes."

"You know, I really like your dad, too," said James, swinging back and forth. "We had a lot of time to kill this morning, so we ignored Vernon, obviously, and started talking Quidditch. After I explained the rules to him, your dad really seemed to get into the game. He's really great with strategy, too. I'm going to try out some of his ideas next year with the team. I want to take him to a real match someday."

"He would probably love that," I replied.

The idea of James and my father bonding was a weird one. On one hand, it bode well for me that my dad wasn't looking to make any trouble so that I could continue this charade for the next few days without any major suspicion. However, I didn't want them to become too close because I didn't want Dad to get hurt. Sure, James was terrific. He had managed to earn the affection of my overprotective and overbearing parents in a mere five days. He fished, he healed, and he charmed. When I needed him most, he pulled through for me and never once complained about having to be my fake boyfriend. But how did he know how much was just acting? Dad had just managed to reverse some of his former prejudices against James. Any new territory was only bound to hurt him when this all ended and life returned to normal. Dad had to take care of himself and make sure that he wasn't losing his head, diving in too deep. He couldn't let himself pretend that this was real. Eventually, he would get hurt.

"Lily?" asked James, flashing a hand in front of my face. "You okay? You look like you've just been obliviated."

I laughed and shook my head to get rid of my thoughts. "Just thinking," I told him. "So, James, how did you really catch five fish?"

Ruffling his hair, James grinned mischievously. "Can you keep a secret?"

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously," I said pointedly.

"I summoned them with my wand when nobody was looking."

We laughed for a long time. Part of me suspected it was more from the time of night than the hilarity of the words, though the image still amused me greatly.

After we had settled down and the high had ended, James rested his face against the rail of my swing.

"Mmm, I'm tired," he yawned as he nuzzled his face onto my shoulder. "Your dad woke me up at four this morning."

"But you didn't leave my hotel room till about one," I said.

He yawned again. "I know," he groaned.

"Merlin, you must be exhausted. We should go inside."

"No," he argued. "I'm good here," James protested from my shoulder. "You smell like strawberries." Now he was really starting to sound tired, the type of tired you were when you spouted off random things that didn't make much sense.

"C'mon, James, it's time to go to bed."

"But not with you," he pointed out.

"Yes," I agreed. "Certainly not with me."

I nearly had to drag him into the house and to his guest room.

He laughed when we reached his door. "You walked me home!" he said. "Does that make me the girl?"

I chuckled. "Yes, it does," I whispered.

"Then you have to kiss me."

"No, I don't," I argued.

"Yes, you do."

I realized that we would be standing outside this door for a very long time. "Fine," I huffed. I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, but after I had made contact with his face, he turned it so that I got his lips. He kissed me slowly, as though he was lulling me to sleep.

However, as he broke away, I felt too wired to sleep anymore.

He grinned happily. "Night, love."

"Good night, James," I returned.

I drifted away into my room and pulled out my suitcase. Gently, I removed James's folded shirt and slipped it over me before crawling into my bed and falling asleep.

* * *

A/N: i would just like to acknowledge my little brother, for when we were playing harry potter clue three days ago, he announced, "it was lucas malfoy, with the man-rake, in the division classroom." obviously, he's still working on his reading skills. i hope you enjoyed this chapter! lily and james are under the same roof again. though, even that did not stop them before. happy fourth! i got to watch a bunch of fireworks from my backyard, which was really neat. though, i do regret the store-bought cake congealing grumpily in my stomach.

antacidly yours,  
molly

P.S. Modern Molly Update: Quickly, if someone wants to email me (I am totally cool with that), leave your email in a review. For those of you who don't have an account here, that's the best way for me to get into contact with you. Only, you can't leave an email without it disappearing unless it is in this format:

AddslovesAnthony(at)yahoo(dot)com.

As I was getting this ready and read this old author's note, I noticed that my stomach is killing me AGAIN. Girls' night. I feel sick. When given the option of fudge and double fudge, try to show more prudence than I did. Bleh.


	8. Friendly Competition

_Previously on Boyfriend: __  
__He grinned happily. "Night, love."__"Good night, James," I returned.__I drifted away into my room and pulled out my suitcase. Gently, I removed James's folded shirt and slipped it over me before crawling into my bed and falling asleep._

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**Chapter Eight**

**Friendly Competition**

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_"It's all fun and games, until someone looses an eye...then it's fun and games you can't see anymore." - James Hetfield_

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I took a deep breath and then smashed my face into my pillow. My arms reached above my head and rested onto my pillow as I stretched out my shoulders. Then, I eased over to my side and propped my head underneath my hand as I slowly adjusted to the idea of waking up. I vaguely recalled a dream that I had just experienced about Sirius Black. I concentrated on his image and remembered that I had been trying to convince Sirius not to buy a flying motorcycle. He had then convinced me to ride with him using his stormy gray troubled eyes and puppy dog pouting lips. Then he had driven me across the sky as I had clung to his black leather jacket. I recalled the feeling of the wind in my hair, the warmth from his body, and the sheer exhilaration of flying through London.

I stretched out across my bed and propped myself up by my elbows. Maybe it was a good thing that someone or something always woke me up. Left to my own devices, my brain apparently could not function properly. Sirius was not even the Marauder that I wanted to dream about, no matter how good looking he was. Remus was obviously my guy. He had it all: the blue eyes, the sandy hair, and the sensitive nature. Chuckling at myself, I threw my legs over the side of my bed and traipsed over to the bathroom.

I emptied my punctual bladder and then took a few minutes to fix my hair and brush my teeth before I walked down to the kitchen.

"Morning, Mum," I greeted her as I saw her cursing at the dishwasher.

"Bloody dispenser!" she growled before kicking the dishwasher closed. "Dispense that," she quipped.

I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling for guidance or some sort of sanity as I noticed my mum glancing up at me and appraising my outfit with her eyes. Fortunately, she seemed too distracted to comment on James's shirt. Still, I self-consciously pulled down on the hem. It still barely came down to mid-thigh level. "Oh, hi, Lily," she replied.

I laughed at her face, which was striped with blue dish detergent. "Mum, what are you doing?"

She sighed as she rose to her feet and wiped her forehead off with the back of her hand. "This piece of crap machine broke last night, so it never cleaned any of the dishes. I keep telling your father that we need a new one, but he won't ruddy listen to me. Just as well, right? It's not like he ever bothers to do the dishes. Now I'll have to wash them all by hand until we can get the repair man to come to the house, which always takes ages and costs a fortune. Bloody dispenser!"

I laughed as I walked over to her. "Relax, Mum. It's going to be fine."

She scowled at me. "Why are you so chipper this morning? Normally you act like a wet cat in the morning."

I grinned cheerfully at her. "No one woke me up this morning. I love it when that happens."

She nodded her head vaguely as she turned back to the dishwasher and stared smacking it with her knee.

"Though, apparently, you decided to be grouchy enough for the both of us. Cut it out, Mum. You're going to make a huge dent in the dishwasher!"

With a sigh she stopped her leg's movement and crossed her arms over her chest with a childish huff. "Ugh, you're right! When did you get so levelheaded?"

I sniggered. "About the same time my mum got so pigheaded."

She laughed and shoved my arm. "I guess I'll go search for the phonebook. Do you know where it is? Is your father still using it to keep the bookshelf level?"

I moved my mum out of the way and then reached under James's shirt to grab my wand. I turned to the dishwasher and then muttered a charm. Immediately, the dishwasher started to turn on.

My mum's face broke out into a huge grin. "It's dispensing!" she cheered. She reached over and pulled me into a hug. "Oh, Lily, have I mentioned yet today how much I love you?"

I chuckled. "Not yet, but thanks!"

She sighed. "Ahh, this is fantastic. I knew sending you to Hogwarts would be a good idea."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, my ability to fix a dishwasher makes me very magical. I should start a business, or something."

"Oh, be quiet."

I grinned. "Still, it's better than Tuney could have done."

"Yes, my competitive little monster. Though your sister is very talented in other areas," Mum reminded me.

"Aww, come on, Mum! Tuney?" I asked while I scrunched up my nose. "She hates helping others!"

My mum laughed even though she was trying very hard to keep her face straight. "That's not very nice. Your sister is a great person."

I shot my mother a disbelieving look.

"Don't make that face!" she chided me. "Your sister and I make fun of you when you're not around all the time."

"Mum!" I exclaimed shrilly.

She laughed wickedly. "And you're gone all school year."

"Mum," I said as I placed one hand over my wounded heart. "I can't believe you would do that to your loving daughter who just fixed your dishwasher for you."

"Well, you are quite an easy target. With all of your silly tendencies. Petunia does a very good impression of you."

"Mum!"

My mum threw an arm around my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lily. Thank you for fixing the dishwasher. You're the best daughter ever," she apologized with a bit of sincerity mixed in with her overly dramatic voice. "Along with Tuney," she added fairly.

I waited as I pretended to debate on whether not I would forgive her. I sighed melodramatically. "Oh, all right," I conceded finally.

She laughed and moved over to the sink to wash her hands.

I fiddled with the hem of my t-shirt. "Mum? Have you seen James this morning?" I asked.

She shook her hands into the sink and then grabbed a towel as she eyed the clock hanging up on the wall near the kitchen cabinets. My eyes followed her gaze. It was already 11:47 A.M.

"He never sleeps this late," she told me. "He gets up usually around seven or eight. He's always pleasant too," she teased me with a smile.

I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe I should go check on him," she continued worriedly.

"I've got it," I offered with a smile.

She shook her head knowingly. "Be nice," she warned me.

I smiled wider. "I'm always nice," I told her as I pranced out of the kitchen.

"But not too nice!" she added loudly.

"What, Mum? I can't hear you!" I yelled down in a teasing voice.

I heard her snort all the way from up the stairs.

I raced to the guest room and then slowly opened the door with a creak. There was no noise or sound or protest, so I pushed the door open as quietly as I could and tiptoed inside. I glanced around the room. I had purposely avoided the guest room lately. My intent was to give James privacy. I wanted it to feel like an impersonal hotel room to him to keep things more professional. Likewise, he, too, had done his best to avoid my room since that first day together, which I had greatly appreciated.

Now, however, my colossal curiosity got the better of me and, while inhaling the strong James scent that surrounded me, I scanned the room eagerly. The dresser, the closet, and the shelves were all in the same place. A few of his shirts were thrown over the desk chair. I spotted a pair of pants lying on the floor near the closet, but for the most part, he had kept the room fairly orderly. This information neither shocked nor reaffirmed me. I hadn't known whether or not he would be a complete slob or a complete neatfreak. It made sense to me that he would be organized with just a touch of dishevelment, the hair of his personality, if you would oblige me.

Making sure not to step on his beloved broomstick, which was lying underneath the windowsill, I quietly moved over to the other side of the room. A lot of James's more personal objects were resting on the nightstand. He had a gold watch with tons of hands, a small mirror that he most likely used to fix his hair with at any moment, a small money bag, a framed picture of himself and the other Marauders, and his glasses. My hand reached out to trace my fingers over the objects as I examined them more closely. My eyes flickered to a piece of parchment hiding underneath the mirror that I hadn't noticed before, and I reached over to pull it out. Suddenly, I heard a noise and jumped. Startled, I took a deep, calming breath and looked over at the bed. James was hugging a pillow tightly as he slept with his mouth slightly ajar in an almost adorable way. I moved closer to him until I could hear his light breathing.

His face looked so serene and innocent as he slept. There was no trace of derision or mischief in his features. Without his glasses, I noticed for the first time how long his dark eyelashes were. It was so unfair that a boy would have fuller and darker eyelashes than me. He rolled over a bit, and his blanket uncovered his left half. I noticed, with a dead stop of my heart, that he only slept in his boxers. Needing to be closer to him, I inched toward the bed and reached out to touch his messy hair. As my fingers threaded through his silky tresses, I felt his face unconsciously lean into my hand. I quickly glanced down and saw that he was still sleeping. Reassured, I allowed my hand to drop down to trace his forehead.

He sighed as my fingers ran down the planes of his face and to the back of his neck. He unexpectedly grabbed my wrist, and I stumbled forward. I landed halfway across his chest. My face burned, but, astonishingly, he was still sound asleep. Apart from a brief grunt, his even breathing never stopped. Unsure of what to do, I froze on top of him. Finally, my brain kicked in and I gradually, as to not wake him, tried to wiggle off of him. He must have noticed my minute movements, however, because his arms wrapped around my middle and he pulled me into his side.

Sighing, he pulled my closer to him and let one of his hands tangle itself into my hair.

"Mmm, Lily," he sighed.

Surely, he must have been awake now. I stared at his face, determined to see his eyes, but they were still shut, and, impossibly, he was still sleeping. Awkwardly, I tried to remove his hand from around my stomach, but as soon as I pried his fingers off, his other hand came down to grip me tighter. I rolled my eyes. This was so like James not to take "no" for an answer even in his sleep. Realizing that I would never get anywhere like this, I pushed my hands against his chest.

"James," I said softly.

He murmured something intelligible as his forehead started to wrinkle with comprehension.

"James, wake up," I told him. "James, c'mon," I urged.

He rolled over onto me, and I felt the weight of his body crush my lungs. Gasping, I punched him in the shoulder. "James! Get off!"

"Lily?" he grunted as his eyes struggled to open and squinted at me.

"Can't breathe!" I choked out.

"Oh, crap!" he exclaimed as he rolled off of me.

Gratefully, I heaved huge breaths until I could breathe normally.

"Err," he began as his hand reached for his hair. "Sorry," he apologized with a weak smile.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Umm, just so I know. What were you doing in my bed?"

"I was trying to wake you up," I told him.

"Then why were you cuddling with me?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to! You grabbed me in your sleep!" I protested.

"Oh," he replied. He grinned at me again sheepishly. "I thought it was part of my dream."

I massaged my chest with my hand gingerly. "Well, next time dream about giving people personal space. I think you killed my sternum."

"Sorry again."

I sighed. "Yeah, yeah."

He stretched his arms above his head, and my eyes bugged out as I watched his stomach muscles ripple in response. He pulled his arms down, and I discreetly diverted my eyes. He reached out for his glasses, and I took the opportunity to scoot away from him.

James moved over to the edge of the bed where I was sitting. He wrapped his arm around my waist and rested his head against my shoulder. "Mmm, morning," he sighed.

"More like afternoon," I corrected him.

"What? What time is it?" he asked.

"Nearly twelve by now," I answered as I edged away from him. Seriously, this boy was far too touchy feeling in the mornings for my estrogen levels to stay in check.

"Merlin! I slept that long?"

"Yeah, that's why I came in here to wake you up."

"Wow, thanks. I can't believe I slept that long, especially longer than you!"

I let the latter comment slide with a click of my tongue. "Yeah, well, you were really tired yesterday."

"Right, yesterday," he echoed. His eyes scanned me curiously.

"What?" I snapped.

"Nothing," he recovered quickly. "It's just that you are still wearing my shirt."

I blushed and pulled it farther down my legs. "Did you want me to give it back to you?"

"Are you wearing something underneath it?" he asked me impishly.

I smacked his chest.

"Ow! Kidding!" he complained.

"You deserved that," I told him.

"Ahh, nevermind. You keep it. It's not worth getting beat up over."

I smiled. "Good, because I wasn't going to give it back to you anyway."

I jumped off of his bed and walked over to the doorway. "Breakfast?" I asked.

He scampered up, tossed on a white t-shirt, much to my immense relief and chagrin, and joined me. "Lunch," he corrected.

We walked down the stairs together and then made it to the kitchen. Right before we went inside, we grabbed each other's hands. Yep, we were getting good at faking it.

"Ahh, there you two are. I was wondering if you were just as hard to wake up in the morning as Lily," my mum greeted us.

James laughed. "Nope, Mrs. Evans. Lily just isn't very good at waking others up."

"Well, she's never had to," my mum laughed. "And, James, how many times do I have to tell you to call me April?"

James grinned. "At least a few times more," he replied charmingly.

She giggled, and I rolled my eyes. I leaned over to hiss in James's ear. "Stop schmoozing my mum."

He raised his eyebrow at me. "Isn't that what a good boyfriend does?"

I frowned. "Just stop it."

"Would you rather I concentrated on schmoozing you instead?" he asked in an innocent voice.

I wrestled my hand out of his and strode over to the refrigerator. I grabbed the orange juice carton and pulled out some eggs and cheddar cheese, as well. I placed it all on the counter before I picked up some bread and flung it at James's face. Of course, he caught it before it could hit my destination: his oversized head.

"I'll make the eggs, you make the toast," I ordered.

"Okay," he agreed.

"I'll leave you two kids be," my mum called as she swung her keys around in her hand. "I have to go down to the school this afternoon and start setting up for next year's classes. I'll only be a few hours. Lily, you know the schedule. Petunia should be home before me. She went out with her friend Cassie. She's such a nice girl."

"Then what's she doing with Tuney?" I deadpanned.

"Lily!"

"I mean, they must get along so well then," I said with a fake cough.

My mum shot me a disapproving look and then retrieved her pocketbook from the kitchen table. "Behave," she told me pointedly.

"Okay, will do. Bye, Mum!"

"Bye, Mrs. Evans!"

"James!"

"April!" he corrected himself quickly.

"That's better," she said as she reached over to kiss his cheek and then flittered out the door.

I frowned. She hadn't kissed me goodbye. "Stop it with my mother, okay? She's going to have a coronary when I tell her we've broken up. And while, you're at it, stay away from my dad, too."

James laughed. "Is there anyone around here I can be nice to without getting yelled at?"

"Vernon."

He sniggered, and then we continued to fight as I cracked some eggs into a pan, added some cheddar cheese, and then started scrambling.

A few minutes later, I smelled something burning. I looked down worriedly at my eggs, but they were still a pale yellow. I turned to James, who was guiltily staring at our smoking toaster.

"Lily, I don't think it's supposed to do that," he said.

"No," I argued. "Smoke just means that it's going to start a fire. All food is cooked with the excitement of fiery death."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated right now," he told me in an unfamiliar high-pitched voice. "I am freaking out."

I rolled my eyes. "Move out of the way, you big baby," I ordered.

I unplugged the toaster and then examined its contents. Inside, there were two slices of extremely burnt pieces of bread. I grabbed a fork and retrieved one of the slices. I laughed at the completely black, carbon coated, former piece of edible food.

"You didn't need to kill the bread, you know."

James grinned crookedly at me. "It looked shifty to me. I wanted to keep our secret safe."

I rolled my eyes. "I highly doubt a bunch of carbs could tell that you're not really my boyfriend."

"Who said that that was the secret I was referring to?" James asked.

"Oh!" I exclaimed knowingly. "So the toast knew all about your not-so-platonic relationship with Sirius! Of course, I see your reasoning now!"

"Lily!"

"Oh! I'm sorry," I apologized with a grin. "Was that Remus? Or maybe Peter?"

James scrunched up his nose. "Peter? Really, love?"

I shrugged playfully. "I never know with you."

"Take that back before you meet the same fate as the toast," he threatened.

I sighed. "You are completely manly and in no way are having gay sexual relations with your best friends." I grinned and added silently to myself, "Yeah, okay, sure."

"Good, now how in Merlin's name do you work a toaster?"

After a few more minutes, I got frustrated with James, so I sent him off to go shower as I finished brunch. I got bored waiting for him, so I decided to cut up some fruit, as well. I was midway through eating a strawberry when James, fully dressed in a green shirt and tan shorts, strode into the kitchen.

"Now, that's an image," he remarked as he ran a hand through his wet hair.

"What?" I asked as I put down my strawberry.

"Lily Evans, in my shirt, making food for me to eat in her kitchen as her lips make love to a strawberry. I never thought this day would come."

I shoved his plate at him. "Just eat, Potter," I snarled.

"Happy to oblige, Evans," he replied amicably.

While I ate I watched as he shoveled food into his mouth eagerly but without such a high level of testosterone that I wanted to gag. That, of course, was saved for when he would be back with his friends and the house elves' cuisine.

"This is really good," he complimented after a swig of orange juice.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"I want to learn how to cook. I wish one of my parents had been muggleborn. Then maybe I wouldn't be so hopeless."

I laughed as I put down my fork and shoved my plate at him. "For your first act as a non-magic fellow, you can do the dishes while I go shower."

"Joy," he muttered.

"Have fun!"

I laughed as I walked up the stairs and into the bathroom. Figuring he would be occupied for a while, I took my time stripping off his shirt, adjusting the water to the right temperature, and then taking a calming shower. My strawberry scented shampoo soothed my stressed soul, and I reveled in the pressure of the scalding hot water on my back. After I had lather, rinsed, and repeated, shaved, and covered myself with shower gel, I figured I had to stop stalling and get out of the shower. Satisfied, I turned off the water.

Clad in my underwear and a towel for my wet hair, I stood in front of my closet and debated what to wear. I eventually decided to go for comfort, so I scooted into a pair of black cotton shorts and a gray tank top. I was tying my hair back into a loose bun when I sauntered back into the kitchen. To my immense surprise, James was putting away the last dish.

"I'm almost impressed," I told him as I made a display of applauding his efforts.

He threw a dishtowel over his shoulder and preened over the counter to smirk at me. "Almost?"

I shrugged. "I've been doing that since I was six years old. Now, if you could have done it with both your hands tied behind your back, that would be impressive."

"How can you wash dishes without your hands?" asked James, his eyebrows furrowing with confusion.

"Exactly!" I exclaimed. "It'd be impressive."

James shook his head while he muttered incoherently to himself before directing his attention back to me. "So what do you want to do today?"

"Honestly?" I asked.

"We could try that, sure," he replied with a laugh.

"Nothing," I answered bleakly.

"Ooh, fun," he countered with a low whistle.

I laughed. "I'm serious!" I continued. "I'm so exhausted still. I just feel like sitting around all day."

"Ahh," contemplated James. "That sounds really nice, actually. Being all nice all the time is starting to take its toll."

"I'm just so sick of physical exertion. I want to be a vegetable today."

"Okay, Red, you can be a tomato, and I'll be a cucumber because I'm so cool."

"In your own mind, maybe," I snorted.

"Heard that," he told me testily.

"Meant for you to," I sing-songed back at him.

"Can vegetables still play games?" asked James, curiously peering over his glasses at me.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Exploding Snap," he offered with roguish eyes.

I grinned. "You're on."

While James went to go get a deck of Exploding Snap from his room, I meandered into the kitchen and found some lemonade in the fridge. I poured two large glasses, filled with ice, and then met James by the stairs as he slid down the banister.

I rolled my eyes. "You're lucky my mum wasn't here to see that," I warned him.

He shrugged. "She probably wouldn't have gotten mad at me."

I chose not to reply because I knew he was right. Damn, Potter charm.

"Ready?" asked James, holding up the cards.

"Do you want to play on the porch?" I asked him. "It's really nice outside."

"Why not?"

We walked through the front door and settled down onto opposite sides of the wicker table my mum had convinced Dad we positively needed three years ago at a flea market. James took out the deck and started shuffling through the cards.

"Ready to get burned, Evans?"

I scoffed. "You wish, Potter."

"I don't know, love, I'd hate to see your hair become any redder than it needs to be."

"And I'd hate to see your big head get so large it blows a fuse," I countered back with a sugary sweet smile.

"That's big talk, little girl," retorted James, his fingers tracing along the edges of the cards.

"Scared, Potter?" I teased.

He smirked. "You wish," he quoted me from before.

"Just deal."

Then, with a grin, he did.

I concentrated on the cards before me as the deck started to shuffle itself. I tapped a pair with my wand and then searched for another one. I peered over at James and saw that he already had three pairs. Blimey, he was fast. I sensed heat, and I moved my fingers out of the way right before a card exploded.

"Close call, Evans," remarked James as he kept his eyes glued on the game.

I looked up at him quickly and noticed how cute he looked with his tongue poking out slightly as he concentrated on the game. I looked back down quickly. You spent too long staring at a boy, and you got burned, in all senses of the word. "Just worry about yourself."

A few minutes passed, and I had quite a collection of cards at my side. James, however, seemed to be just ahead of me. I frantically moved my hands and my wand across the table as even more cards were magically dealt out to us. I was so immersed in the game that I jumped back in fright when I heard a loud snap of explosion. I looked down to make sure that I wasn't on fire first before I checked James.

His face was covered in soot, and his eyebrows had been seared off. I brought my fist up to my mouth to try to muffle my guffaws, but it did not work. I laughed so hard that it brought tears to my eyes.

"Lily!" he exclaimed as he unsuccessfully tried to rub the soot off of his face.

I tried to bite back my laughter. "I'm sorry, James, it's just so funny."

"It's not funny!"

His expression was so angry that the area of what would have been two eyebrows rose towards his hairline. The entire sight was so funny that it broke down whatever resolve I had been regaining, and there were tears streaming down my face as I laughed irrepressibly.

"Lily!" James squeaked. "What's so bloody funny?"

"Your eyebrows!" I screeched through my laughter.

His hands flew to his forehead as his fingers stroked for hair that was nowhere to be found. His eyes panicked. "Oh, bloody Merlin's Great Auntie Sally!"

I laughed even harder.

"Lily! Fix it! Put them back!"

I wiped my red face and tried to compose myself, but he just looked too ridiculous.

"LILY!"

It took me five whole minutes before I could finally raise my wand without dropping it and fix his face.

James reached up for his eyebrows, felt them, and then sighed with relief. "Oh, thank Merlin."

"And his Great Aunt Sally," I reminded him with a smile.

He grinned crookedly at me. "Of course."

"How do you know he even has one?" I asked him dubiously

James shrugged. "I don't."

I gave him a pointed look, but he just grinned at me again. "But I do."

I shook my head. "You are insufferable," I told him.

His grin widened. "That's what you tell me," he replied.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed James's wrist so that I could figure out what time it was. "Ugh, we still have about three hours till my mum comes back."

"What do you want to do?"

"I guess we could keep playing cards," I replied.

"No way. My pretty face cannot handle more Exploding Snap," he interrupted.

I smirked. "Well, if you would just shut your pretty lips, I was going to suggest that we play muggle cards to avoid any more devastation to your mesmerizing mug."

"Pretty lips, huh?" he teased.

"I can magic your eyebrows right back off," I warned.

"What were you suggesting?" he asked sweetly.

"Ahh, I thought so."

"Sounds good to me," he grunted.

"So, I'll just be right back."

I felt his eyes on me as I scampered into the house and up to my room. I quickly searched my room for a deck of cards, which I found underneath a pile of magic and muggle books, and hurried back to James.

"No explosions?" he asked me as he eyed the cards in my hands wearily. "Do you solemnly swear that you are up to good?" pressed James.

"Cross my heart and hope not to die anytime in the near future," I promised him.

James snorted quietly to himself. "So, I don't actually know how to play any muggle card games," he told me.

I nodded my head, expecting as much. "Well, I figured we could start with a simple game that really isn't that different from Exploding Snap, only obviously less dangerous."

I went on to explain the rules of the game to him, and he stared back at me with rapt interest. However, as he nodded his head dumbly, I noticed that his eyes were watching my lips and not the cards I was pointing to.

"James? Are you even paying attention to me?" I asked in frustration.

"To you, yes," said James honestly. "To what you're saying, not really. I got distracted," he admitted.

I sighed. Merlin, he needed to stop saying things like that. I dealt the cards out, and then peeked down at my hand. "You can just figure everything out as we go."

James chuckled loudly. "I'm good at that."

"Got any twos?"

Five minutes later, James slammed down his last pair of cards proudly. "Goldfish," he announced triumphantly.

I laughed. "Go Fish," I corrected him.

"Huh?"

"Go Fish, not Goldfish."

"Why would you name a game Go Fish?" he asked. "That's so stupid. You're playing cards, and suddenly they want you to go fishing?"

I rolled my eyes. "You take everything so literally."

"Yeah, well, you analyze everything so much that stupid, pointless things become the most bloody significant things in the world," he teased trivially.

I frowned. "I do not."

James laughed as he picked up all of the cards and started to shuffle them again. "Yes, you do, Lily. You've always scrutinized everything to death. Nothing is safe from your mind."

"No, I don't," I argued vehemently. "I let things drop."

James chuckled again, louder this time. "Merlin, Lily, you still obsess over things that happened in First Year. You never let anything go. Hell, you've never even noticed how much I've changed since then."

"Yeah, well, at least I care enough about things to think about them first. You always just plunge right into things. You've never once stopped to think about consequences of your actions."

"That's not fair," James accused. "You jump into things too."

"Not before I contemplate the consequences."

"So you were analyzing everything that would happen when you told Petunia I was your boyfriend?"

I bit my lip and crossed my arms over my chest angrily. "You can't use that against me. I would never have said that if you hadn't randomly showed up at my house. Merlin, James, you always need to pull a stunt. You never just do anything sincerely. Everything is for damn show."

James scoffed. "Says the girl who rolls her eyes so much that it's a wonder they haven't fallen out of her head."

"Well, not all of us have protective glasses," I rebutted. "Which you need to keep up pretenses because you make everything about sex."

"Well, maybe if there was another way to get you to give me a chance. But, no! The only time you'll ever let your bloody guard down is when we're snogging."

"Like you're not just taking advantage of the situation. Like you don't secretly plot out ways to get me in front of my family so I have no choice."

"Stop acting like you don't enjoy it. You want to come off cold and aloof, but that's just because you don't want to admit to yourself that I affect you!"

"Well, it's not like I can fight you off in front of my sister," I reminded him angrily, my voice becoming progressively louder as our conversation continued. "You take it too far. Showing up at my hotel room with your shirt!"

"And what about you, Lily? Why were you still wearing it this morning?"

"Merlin, Potter, you are unbearable!" I yelled.

"Yeah, well, you're not much better, Evans!" he screamed back.

I heard a screech of tires and looked out into the driveway. Petunia was stepping out of her car. "Tuney," I whispered in a panic.

James nodded and then forcefully grabbed my face and pulled my lips roughly up to meet his. His lips were fierce and uncompromising. His fingers tangled into my hair and forced a closeness between us. My own hands reached out for the neckline of his t-shirt and stretched out the fabric. His tongue pressed its way into my mouth, and he devoured me violently as his hands moved lower to grip at my sides. My own traveled up to his hair and clutched on to the strands tightly. He bit my lower lip greedily as his tongue squashed down any resistance mine might have shown as it hungrily searched my mouth.

His hands rose to my waist underneath my shirt, and my tongue wrestled with his angrily. I stiffened my hold on his head and inched closer to him so that I was pressing my thudding heart against his chest. He was pouring everything out into the kiss. I could feel his frustration and his anger and his need to express it to me as his lips nipped at mine. All the things he couldn't say out loud rushed into me.

Somehow, amidst everything, I heard Petunia scoff at us and then enter the house in disgust. A few seconds later, James shoved me away, and I fell back into my own chair with a thud. I wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand.

"Why did you just do that?" I demanded as though the fight had never been postponed. I did my best to overcome the banging of my heart, the blush on my face, the heat soaring through my body, the heaving of my lungs, and the soreness of my swollen lips.

"Because that's what you asked me to do. 'We can't let them find out you're not really my boyfriend,'" he quoted me.

"Well, why do you always resort to that?"

"You weren't exactly pushing me away," he replied.

I groaned. "I really can't stand you," I told him.

"I don't understand you at all," he admitted.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my messed up hair.

"I don't want to fight anymore," he told me quietly.

"This is all so messed up," I told him.

"Messed up," he echoed. "Yeah," he agreed softly.

I stayed quiet for a moment as I tried to regain my thoughts. Soon the silence turned awkward, and I felt the need to break the tension rising between us.

"Only we can go from fighting to snogging and then back to snogging all in a ten minute time period," I remarked with a laugh.

James grinned crookedly at me. "That's what makes us special."

I sighed again. "Wizards' Chess?" I offered lamely.

He sighed, too. "Sure."

I got up and went back into the house. Petunia, judging from the horrible music crooning from upstairs, was already in her room listening to the radio. I went upstairs and grabbed my chess set. Then, I walked into the bathroom and splashed some water onto my face. My cheeks were red, my hair was more tangled than I thought it would be, and my eyes were bright with craziness. I took a deep, calming breath and then walked backed to the porch.

We played quietly as we both thought about the game. My mind was busy focusing on other things, and he beat me easily. In a much needed semblance of normalcy, he teased me about his superlative chess skills. I laughed uneasily, though it became increasingly more difficult to feel uncomfortable around James as time went on. He knew exactly how to make me feel more at ease.

My mum arrived home soon after our second game, which James also won. We followed her inside, he dutifully grabbed my hand, and I grabbed our lemonades. James's was more filled, and mine was more on the empty side. When I had first brought them out, there had been about six or seven ice cubes in both of them. Now, the ice had melted, and the cups, themselves, were perspiring. A little time in the sun could make such a big difference. After my mum was out of sight, he dropped my hand.

Dinner was not a very elaborate affair. We had roasted chicken and mashed potatoes: comfort food. James and I played our parts, and no one noticed anything different between us. But I felt something. It wasn't dislike or bitterness, either. It was something else.

After cleaning up, I retreated to my room. I spent the night playing with Calypso. She stretched her wings as she flew in circles around my room, and I watched her perform special tricks just for me. She nipped my finger before I let her out my window to go hunting for the night. She was so lucky to be an owl. Owls never had to worry about teenage boys living down the hall from them.

I lay on my bed for about thirty minutes as I thought about what to do. James was right. I did dissect every little thing. Frustrated with that thought, I put on a sweater and snuck outside.

James, of course, was already waiting for me by the swings. I pulled my sweater tighter across my chest.

"Hey," he greeted me softly.

"Hi," I said back. My voice sounded too shy for my liking. I mentally berated myself for letting things become so awkward in just one afternoon. We couldn't even play cards without everything going to hell.

"It's a little chilly tonight," James commented as he eyed my sweater.

"Mmm," I replied noncommittally.

"I'd offer you my jacket in true boyfriend fashion," he offered with a forced smile. "But I'm not wearing one."

I chuckled lightly. "That's fine. I already probably have one item too many of your clothing."

James nodded and ruffled his hair. His face was deep in thought, and I didn't want to bother him. Instead, I focused on sitting down on the unoccupied swing. I closed my eyes and rocked back and forth.

"Lily," he said finally.

"James," I replied. I immediately stopped swinging and turned to face him.

"Lily," he repeated again and then his eyes met mine. His face turned the slightest shade of a pink. "I was hoping that we could forget—"

"The huge, stupid fight that happened this afternoon?" I finished for him with a smile.

He grinned at me thankfully. "Yeah."

"Good," I said with a sigh. "Because that's exactly what I wanted, too."

James ran a finger through his hair. "I don't even know how that started."

I shrugged. "I don't think I've ever had qualms about yelling at you before. Old habits die hard."

"Yes, but I never should have said some of those things to you. I'm really sorry, Lily."

"Me too. About everything," I admitted quietly.

I started to swing again, and James stayed quiet for a few minutes. Rocking back and forth I contemplated the magnitude of this decision, knowing, as I was sure he did, as well, that we couldn't forget about this. We kept putting this off because we both knew it was so important, so important, that neither of us wanted to deal with it. We just weren't ready yet.

"So where do we go from here?" asked James, voicing my thoughts.

"Honestly?" I asked.

James laughed. "Sure."

"I have no idea."

He laughed again, and I joined him this time.

"I think," I began after a while. "I think it would be easier on me if there was less pressure, less intimacy." I tried to ignore the way my face heated up as I said the last word. I found my Gryffindor courage and then continued. "I think we should just be friends so that we can get through this whole thing without any major repercussions when you leave. I think I need that boundary so I don't get confused with our situation. I know you have already done so much for me with pretending to be my boyfriend and everything, and I hate having to ask more from you. But when it's just us, I need us to stay just friends."

I bit my lip nervously. In a roundabout way, I had just admitted that I had let myself believe this was turning to more. That maybe I wanted it to turn to more. The thought scared me more than anything else. However, if he noticed my panic, he did not say anything about it.

"Friends," James repeated. I tried to ignore the defeated tone in his voice.

"Yeah."

James stared at me, and for a fleeting second I was worried that he was going to say "no," or worse, demand something more. Something I could not give him. "Lily Evans, I would love to be your friend."

I grinned. "Thank you."

James sighed. "Lily, can I tell you something as a friend?" he asked seriously.

"Sure," I replied uneasily.

"You are awful at Wizards' Chess."

I laughed and shoved him in the arm. "Shut up."

"No, I can't! It would be doing you a disservice! You're bloody awful. How could you have made it so far in life without learning how to properly protect a King? See if I ever let you into my castle now! I'll have to hire a whole platoon of soldiers for just one night's visit!"

I laughed.

We chatted for a bit longer and James did his very best to keep me laughing and happy. To his credit, he was quite good at it. I was in tears from laughing so hard at his "Vernon and Petunia on a date" impression. However, the weather grew colder, and I shivered too many times. Eventually, we had no choice but to go inside. Still, I felt lighter than before. All of my thoughts and fears from before had been, ahem, magically siphoned away. I smiled to myself. I was going to enjoy being James's friend.

James halted at my bedroom door and shifted his weight uncomfortably. He ruffled his hair as he searched for the right thing to do.

Finally, he stuck out his hand.

"A handshake?" I asked him with a whispered laugh.

"I'm trying to be respectful of your wishes here," he told me sternly.

I rolled my eyes. "And I greatly appreciate that," I told him. "But, seriously, a handshake?"

James shrugged. "I'm not really used to being just friends with girls. What would you prefer?"

I choose to shrug coolly as well. "A hug?" I offered nonchalantly.

A ghost of a smile perked at his lips, and he closed the gap between us. I wanted to stick my nose into the crook of his neck and inhale his musky, now familiar, smell. I wanted him to rub soothing circles on my back or tangle his fingers into my hair. I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the warmth emanating from his body. But before, I could even think about everything I wanted, he pulled away from me.

A friend hug didn't last long enough for any of those things.

Pulling on his shirt and going into bed alone, I wondered if I had made the right decision after all.

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_A/N: i greatly enjoyed describing my little brother to you, so i thought i would briefly share a funny tidbit my mother told me about today. apparently, when she went to the grocery store, she engaged in some consensual shucking with a guy she met. they handled the corn well apparently. and she managed to describe all of this to me with a straight face. haha.__  
__anyways. in regards to this chapter. i felt it was necessary. i'm not sure if i really like it, though. i would really appreciate some feedback on this one, gals. oh! and since some of you want to know, this story is going to be seventeen chapters long. well, i hope you all have a wonderful day. remember not to get james angry!__wistfully yours,__  
__molly_

Modern Molly Update: hey, guys! i'm excited for feedback from this chapter. it inspired a lot of angst on the last site. i could not be more happy about it, now, though. i apologize that i am not responding to all of your reviews! (they're coming in so quickly!) i do read them all, though, and i appreciate each and every one. finally, i apologize for this coming Sunday. i hate being single and alone. but all the boys i like don't like me back. what a cruel, cruel world.


	9. Dusty Road

_Previously on Boyfriend:__  
__But before I could even think about everything I wanted, he pulled away from me.__A friend hug didn't last long enough for any of those things.__Pulling on his shirt and going into bed alone, I wondered if I had made the right decision after all._

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**Chapter Nine**

**Dusty Road**

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_"That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight." - Han Solo_

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**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back. In addition, in true fan fiction spirit, I have disregarded the fact that the film was not released until 1980, when, in fact, James and Lily entered their seventh year of Hogwarts in 1976. Please forgive me and accept the time discrepancy as diplomatically as you can.**

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Shockingly, I woke up relatively early on Tuesday – well, for me. Granted, I felt that any day I woke up in the A.M. hours was a major feat in itself, but I was still slightly proud of myself for waking up at 10:02 in the morning. For some reason, my body had not been able to stay sleeping. I was too restless, too anxious, and too preoccupied.

I got out of bed and crossed my room to stroke Calypso's feathers through her cage. She was still snoozing softly, but my touch caused her to reluctantly open one golden eye and then hoot at me to go away and leave her alone. It was nice to know that all those owl treats I ordered last week had really worked to win over my own pet's affections.

"Morning, Callie," I replied back to her.

She blinked at me in response, but I doubted I held much of her interest because she closed her eyes again just as quickly and promptly went back to sleep. I chuckled quietly to myself.

"Goodnight, Callie."

I tapped the top of her cage lightly. I felt bad that I hadn't been giving her more reasons to stretch her wings lately. We were both cooped up in the house together, trapped; only her cage was a bit more literal.

Post had been nonexistent lately. Ever since Hestia's last illegal letter after her parental Spaniard Inquisition, I had not heard from her at all. I could only imagine the tizzy she would get herself in if she heard of my most recent predicament.

_Lily, you complete prat! Here I am, wasting away my Spanish tan inside my house, busting my ass as I cater to my evil little brother's every desire (and just in case your mind was going there. Don't, perv!), and you are being "just friends" with a bloke as fit as Potter is! Merlin, Lily! Wake up and smell the yummy testosterone! That boy has been in love with you since he first saw you on the train in First Year, and now he's finally matured to a point where he isn't a total prat, like you are. You know you've always felt something for him. Why do you think you always tried to instigate a fight with him? You two will never just be friends. You know there's something more there, that there's always been something more there. There's undeniable, indescribable, unbridled chemistry between you two. Why can't you just admit it? What the bloody hell is your problem?_

I laughed loudly as I pictured her thrusting her long black hair back out of her eyes as she raised her arms dramatically to both emphasize her point and simultaneously smack me in the back of the head. However, as fun as the idea seemed, I doubted Hestia would actually advise me to do this now if I had told her anything about this arrangement. She would die of shock, somehow manage to bring herself back to life, and then get into loads of trouble with her parents by apparating to my house and then kicking my ass till I saw reason.

Yes, that was what Hestia would do. We were morally opposed to marauding. Though, I think deep, deep down she might have fancied Sirius, after all.

As I descended down the stairs and into the kitchen, I fluffed my hair with my fingers so that it didn't look like I had allowed a bunch of Cornish pixies to live in it overnight as much. I grabbed the closest open seat at the kitchen table next to Petunia.

She scowled at me and then scooted her chair in the other direction towards Mum. Ahh, I loved you too, Tuney.

"What are you doing up already?" she asked, her voice sounding more accusatory than curious.

I wanted to ask her why she bothered to get up in the mornings at all when she knew she would never escape her fate of being an insufferable twat, but in a rare moment of tact, I held my tongue. People were never nice to me in the mornings. It was just one of those facts of life I had no choice but to accept like that - unlike my seemingly perfect sister, excepting, of course, that pesky personality - my arms would never be hairless. Ahh, woe was me. I supposed I would just have to find meaning in my life some other way besides painful hair removal. Perhaps I could solve world hunger or find a way to conquer the Killing Curse. But, alas, nothing could ever compare to the satisfaction of having hairless arms. My life was doomed.

"What are you smirking at?" Petunia asked me self-consciously.

"Oh, nothing," I replied in what I meant to be an innocent voice.

Petunia scowled and ran her fingers down her arm.

I stopped myself from breaking out into guffaws by quickly making myself some cereal, grabbing some orange juice, and then sitting back down. As I slopped the milk around in my bowl, I heard a creaking noise to the left of me. I looked over in time to see James ease into the chair next to me. My pink face betrayed me as I fixed my gaze back onto my cereal.

"Well, Lily, I'm glad you decided to actually wake up before lunch is served because now you can get a head start on chores," my mum said cheerfully without bothering to note James's arrival.

Perhaps it was because she wasn't surprised to see him so close to me or that they had already chatted this morning while I was still sleeping. After all, Mum didn't know anything about our fight yesterday, a fight I had never intended to take place. A few words out of my big, fat, stupid mouth, and the whole thing blew up like a game of Exploding Snap. Only, I had been the one left without any eyebrows, so to speak.

I knew it had been necessary. Ugh, my heart skipped at the word like I was some pathetic schoolgirl living before feminism was even invented. I tossed my hair over my left shoulder to not-so-secretly steal a peek at James's countenance when I heard my name being called.

I snapped my head back in the other direction guiltily as I looked up at my expectant mother.

"Umm, could you repeat the question?" I asked as I fidgeted in my seat.

My mum sighed resignedly. "Honestly, Lily, sometimes I wonder where your brain goes."

"You mean she actually has one, then?" Petunia quipped.

I stuck my tongue out at her, and she returned the sentiment.

"Tuney," scolded Mum, her stern voice ruined by the hint of laughter behind it. "Ahh," she sighed. "Chores, Lily. Pick your poison. Do you want dusting or vacuuming?"

Couldn't I just shove a bezoar down my throat? I slumped back into my chair moodily. I despised cleaning, even more than I detested getting my nails done or going to shopping malls. Still, Tuesday was always our cleaning day ever since Petunia and I were old enough to clean without making even more of a mess. We cleaned the house while Mum took care of the laundry and ironing, and when Dad came home, he would mow the lawn and perform other seasonal outdoor tasks. I wondered how I had forgotten about a weekly ritual that I had been participating in for years. In typical Lily Evans fashion, I blamed James. Hell, last week we had skipped cleaning altogether to deal with the hullabaloo of his arrival. Bloody James and his bloody ability to distract the hell out of everyone with whom he came into contact.

I sighed and picked the lesser of two evils. "Vacuuming," I grumbled.

"What? No way!" Petunia screeched. "I had to dust last time," she protested.

"No, you didn't! You never dust!" I argued back angrily. "You always make me do it."

"Mum!" Petunia whined.

My mother, bored silly of this recurring fight, sighed. "Petunia is older so she should get priority with divvying out the chores," my mum decided diplomatically.

Great, then why did she even bother to ask me in the first place? Would you like a chocolate chip cookie? Oh, I'm sorry; all we had was lima beans.

"Plus," Mum continued. "Since Lily is only home for about three months of the year, Petunia should get the priority for having to clean the entire house by herself most of the time. It's just one of the many realities of your absence, Lily," she added.

Merlin, Mum, dig the knife in a bit deeper, why didn't you? I was pretty sure she hadn't decimated my pancreas yet.

"So it's Tuney's call," Mum finished.

Petunia preened at me superciliously.

"But, Mum!" I complained loudly, but she held up a hand to silence me.

"However, since Petunia gets to enjoy the perks of being the older sister, I think it is only fair that she invites her younger sister - and James too, of course," she added with a quick glance at him, "to tag along to the movies with her tonight."

Simultaneously, Petunia and I froze in shock. She recovered first.

"But, Mum! Vernon and I don't want to go with them!" whined Petunia.

"That's my verdict, hun, take it or leave it," Mum told her with a grin. "And when I say that, I really mean you'll be letting them go to the cinema with you and Vernon regardless, so you might as well pick the chore you want."

"Fine," snarled Petunia, crossing her arms over her chest to seethe in her chair.

My mum smiled at me, and I reluctantly forced my mouth into what I hoped appeared to be a grateful grin. Of course, she thought she was doing me a favor. Well, thanks, Mum. Now, I had to spend the entire evening with Tuney, Vermin, and my fake boyfriend, _and _I still had to dust. Tomorrow, she might as well invite a bunch of Pureblood facists to the house so that we can overcome our differences over brunch. Would you pass me the sugar? Sure! _Avada Kedavra, you filthy Mudblood!_

Blimey, this was fan-freaking-tastic.

I tried to hide my obvious pout, but it was hard. Feeling sorry for myself was so much easier than behaving maturely. I tried to focus on happier things like cupcakes or hyacinths or that new book I was reading with the wonderfully relatable girl and her ghost, now human, boyfriend…

"It's a shame your father can't get away from the office tonight. What the hell is involved in an engineer emergency, I haven't the foggiest. What possibly could have happened? They ran out of coffee and paper airplanes? Or worse, someone ate the last donut!" Mum scoffed in annoyance. "This is the second week your father's been too busy to mow the lawn. Sooner or later, it's going to eat up the whole house, and I'll be there to tell him 'I told him so.'"

"I can take care of that if you like," offered James, speaking for the first time that morning.

"That's sweet, James, but I kind of like telling off Henry," Mum replied. "It's good for my passive aggressiveness."

James chuckled softly. "No, I meant I'd mow the lawn."

"No, you don't have to," I assured him hastily.

"Yes," Mum agreed. "Really, James, dear, you're our guest."

James shrugged. "I won't have anything else to do anyway," he reasoned. "And I'd like to help out as long as I'm staying her. Consider it my thank you for your wonderful hospitality," finished James politely.

Mum's face glowed, and I fought the ever-familiar urge to roll my eyes. When James finally left, I would have to surgically remove his lips from my mom's ass first. I grimaced. Now that was an image I could have gone without ever visualizing.

"Oh, all right," Mum acquiesced. "You go get dressed, and then I'll show you how to work the mower."

James nodded and then shot her his trademark crooked grin. "Sounds great, Mrs. Evans."

My mum smiled back and then shooed him out of the kitchen. Quickly, I shot up and put my dishes away into the dishwasher before chasing after him.

"James!" I called as I reached the foot of the stairs.

He was already halfway up. I watched as his shoulders stiffened before he turned around to face me. "Lily," he answered simply.

I bit my lip nervously as I climbed up the stairs, stopping two steps beneath him. "How are you?" I asked.

James shrugged nonchalantly. "Fine," he replied.

I sighed, knowing that the word "fine" never actually meant what it was supposed to mean in regards to a person's feelings.

"You?" he posed back.

I fought back a bitter smile. "Fine," I answered.

He nodded and then started to climb up the stairs again. I decided to be brave for once and confront the issue. "Wait, James!" I called as I grabbed his arm to hold him back.

His eyes glued to my fingers around his wrist, he turned around. I noticed his gaze and then removed my hand as quickly as though it had just caught fire.

"Sorry," I muttered as I bit my lip again and mentally chastised myself for being such a bloody coward. Where was that Gryffindor courage? What happened to my redheaded temper? Was I Lily Evans, the girl who had no qualms about verbally brawling smack dab in the middle of the Great Hall, or wasn't I?

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay with everything that happened yesterday," I blurted out finally.

Then, like the twelve-year-old I was, I congratulated myself for being mature and voicing my concern. Then, I realized that mature people didn't need praise for not behaving like a complete moron.

James ran his fingers through his hair. "Well," he said after a pause so long that I thought he might have just recovered from an Impedimenta jinx. "I do feel bad for the things I said about you yesterday, but it's more about how I said them than what I actually said. Still, you were right, too. My own behavior this week has not exactly been exemplary."

I blinked in shock. James had already been here for a whole week? How did I miss things like that when he always seemed to have such a strong grasp on reality? And how come he could form complete sentences, and I had turned into the simpering moron?

"I never should have been so forward with you," he continued apologetically. "I guess I got too wrapped up in the whole idea of us dating and everything that goes along with that."

He wasn't the only one. "So you're not mad about the friends thing?" I questioned.

He stared at me incredulously, and I wondered if I had suddenly swapped faces with Tuney, or something else just as horrible. Now that would have been a grotesque image.

"Merlin, Lily!" James exclaimed. "Do you have any idea how long I've waited just for us to speak civilly to each other? Think about all those years at Hogwarts when we would just terrorize the hell out of each other. Remember that one bad fight back in Fifth Year during O.W.L.s? We couldn't be in the same room without bickering!"

With a slight smile I recalled six years of pranks, hissy fits, and surnames only. "Yeah, we really hated each other," I commented fondly.

"Well, you more so than me," said James offhandedly. "Anyway," he continued with a toss of his hand. "I'm choosing to be optimistic. I think this is actually a really good thing for us." James grinned at me lopsidedly, and I smiled back at him.

It was amazing how much I had blown things out of proportion. Of course, he was right. Lily-Miss-Know-It-All-Evans and James-Pigheaded-Marauder-Leader-Potter were friends? A week ago, I never would have thought I'd see the day. Feeling loads better about life in general, I skipped up the stairs behind him and then threw on a t-shirt and some sweatpants once I was in my room. I didn't see the point in bathing just to get all covered in sweat and muck. Now I was all ready to do some major dusting. Oh, goody.

Unfortunately, Petunia seemed to lack my common sense about the showering idea. I laughed derisively to myself as I heard the water start as I went downstairs. Petunia would even curl her hair just to go swimming. I stumbled into the kitchen and squatted down to open the cabinet underneath the sink that I had deigned the "Death Drawer" when I was ten and hated always having to be the one to do the dusting.

As I searched through variously covered bottles of toxic chemicals, I realized that very little had changed in my maturity level since my prepubescent days. Now, I just had boobs. Aha! I found the right bottle. I grabbed it and a grubby, graying cloth and then sluggishly staggered over to the nearest cabinet. Mindlessly, I sprayed the cloth and then rubbed the wooden surface while thinking of more pleasant things I would rather be doing: working for minimum wage at the old soap factory, getting eaten by a shark, finding out I was really adopted, or worse, pregnant and had missed the good part…

I had progressed into the living room by the time Petunia decided to grace me with her presence. She was wearing obnoxiously bright pink shorts and a tank top with her hair immaculately up and lip liner in my place. If you didn't know my sister, you would guess that she was all ready to go out. However, I did know Petunia, and that also meant I knew she would be showering and changing and reapplying all over again before our lovely trip to the movies, where we would sit in the dark. I gave her my sweetest smile.

"Where are your pearls, Tuney?"

She stared at me blankly. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Is this another one of your bizarre freak references that only you understand?"

I sighed. Even muggle references were lost on her. I really needed to find someone who would appreciate my wit. All that snarkiness was just useless around here nowadays.

"Dusting, huh? That sucks," she told me.

"Actually," I corrected her brightly. "A vacuum is the thing that sucks. I guess Mum knew you'd be good at it." I kept my smile despite the scary visualize places my sick mind was exploring.

Petunia snarled at me. "You better not keep this up tonight," she threatened.

"But, Tuney, I just love complimenting you and all of your wonderful skills."

"Vernon's picking me up at six to go get dinner first, and I don't want my appetite ruined."

"Well, we don't have to eat with you," I told her.

"Yeah, well, tell that to Mum."

I sighed. Now that Mum was involved, I had no choice but to act the willing girlfriend. "Aww, dinner too, Tuney? It was so nice of you to insist on inviting us."

Her eyes bulged out of their beady sockets as though she was a toy and I had just squeezed her action figure legs together.

"I didn't—" she started.

"Really, you're the best sister ever! Have fun sucking!" I added with a sweeping gesture towards the vacuum.

Then, with a vindictive skip in my step, I flounced into another room to rid the world of dust, one bookshelf at a time. I was so pleased with myself for pissing off Petunia that I barely grumbled obscenities under my breath for the next half hour of cleaning.

I was really in the zone by the time I got to the upstairs. I only had two rooms left: the bathroom and Petunia's. Picking the less germ-infested room, I headed to the bathroom. Honestly, just walking into Tuney's room was like taking my life in my own hands. The diseases I could catch in there! I was too young and innocent for Chlamydia!

As I made to leave the newly clean bathroom, a figure outside caught my eye. I set down my cleaning supplies and then moved closer to the bathroom window. James was outside, and by the looks of it, about halfway done with mowing the lawn. Quietly, I opened the window so that I could get a less obstructed view. I may or may not have stuck my neck over as far as I could and used the toilet to stand on so that I could get as close as possible.

I watched the way his muscles tightened as his legs carried him and the mower across the yard. Unable to stop myself, I craned my neck even further as one lap quickly became four. I examined the look of concentration on his face as he struggled to understand all the little nuances of the mower. He stuck out his tongue to wet his lips, and I found myself biting down on my own. I suddenly wished I was the one he was mowing.

Gah! What was wrong with me? I had finally reached a point when James and I could coexist in harmony without things being awkward between us. All I wanted was friendship from him. Why did my body need to betray me? More importantly, why wasn't my brain processing these urges as wrong? If anything, my bloody feelings urged the hormones even more. No, James wanted to be friends. I wanted to be friends. We were going to be friends, dammit!

Mesmerized, I watched with bated breath as he stopped briefly to wipe some sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. I glanced quickly at the shower next to me and wondered if even the coldest setting would cool me off. My eyes darted back to James, who was leaning down to touch his toes. Then, in one fluid motion, he reached down to the hem of his sweat-covered t-shirt and pulled it up and over his chest to reveal his chest and his abs, which had a tantalizingly sweaty sheen over them.

"Damn," I sighed involuntarily.

James's head shot up, and I panicked. I fell backwards and landed on top of the shower curtain. With flailing arms and a bruised behind, I got up and stole a peek out the window. James's eyes were searching the house, and I dodged away from the window with a red face. Cursing myself, I trotted into Petunia's room.

Clutching the dirty rag to my chest, I tried to control my breathing and cool down my enflamed face. I reminded myself to be rational for once. Friends did not have those kinds of thoughts about each other. I had certainly never fantasized about licking every ounce of sweat off of Hestia's chest! Mentally, I sniggered at the slew of lesbian jokes that sprung into my head. Ugh, maybe it was just the fact that James was Y-chromosome inclined. Even if he seemed perfectly immune to my charms and wanted to be just friends, I doubted any girl could blame me for ogling a body as sinfully delicious as James's was.

Oh, Merlin, I could not believe I just thought that.

Dusting! I was concentrating on dusting! I had to think about dirty things. I knew one-Damn! Dust, Lily! Dust and not lust!

It took me a whole hour to finish dusting Petunia's room, which also contained a window that overlooked the backyard. Purely coincidentally, it also took James the same amount of time to finish mowing the lawn.

Disgusted with myself, I put away the cleaning supplies and then tugged at my uncomfortable, sticky t-shirt. I promptly decided to take a nice long-cold at first and then steaming hot—shower. On the north side of twenty minutes later, I was wrapping a towel around me when I noticed a message written for me on the mirror. It read, "Hey, Lily!"

I laughed.

If there had been any speculation about who had wiped away the condensation, there was a little, enlightening broomstick in the corner. I smiled as I felt my insides turn into bubotuber pus. It wasn't just about the snogging, not when he did things like this, not when he made me feel so special, not when I wanted to try to make him feel the same way. Gah!

Why had I chosen today to belt out some seventies showman's greatest hit?

I smacked my head against the bathroom counter and then slumped into my room. Wondering if my habitual mortification would ever lead to a permanent change in my complexion from pale to pink, I stood in front of my closet and stared at all of the clothes I didn't want to wear. I settled on a pair of denim capris and a white eyelet tank top that had funky straps that were hard to arrange properly. After twisting the top and my upper body in the weirdest contortions and ensuring that I would wake up sore the next morning, I got the top on correctly.

I left my room to return my towel to the bathroom. I heard the water running, and I knew, more out of instinct than from probability, that he was inside. Carefully, I tiptoed inside and hung up my towel. My eyes flashed on James's message on the mirror. Suddenly, I became hyperaware of the fact that a completely naked James was showering less than a meter away from me and the only thing separating us was a mere shower curtain.

With trembling fingers, I edged towards the mirror and wrote back my reply of "Hi, James," with the tip of my finger. I added a small lily next to it for good measure. Then, before my body melted from the heat of the steam, I hightailed it out of there and retreated back to the safety of my own room.

With a quick glance at the clock, I realized I had only a little over an hour before Vermin was due to arrive gallantly in his overly pretentious Italian sports car, the only way for him to compensate for the horrible mustache. Sadly, I figured even Vernon knew there was no amount of money in the world that could make up for his personality.

I brushed my hair several times to absolutely ensure that I had removed every single knot and tangle. I tied it up into a ponytail and pulled out a few strands to frame my face. Then, I sat in front of my bureau mirror and meticulously applied my usual coats of mascara and eyeliner. My fingers hovered over a set of eyeshadows, and I decided to play with some color to try to liven up my appearance from its mundane routine. Once finished, I eyed my reflection with distaste. I was being ridiculous. This was just a normal night out. I didn't need to look any better than I normally did. This wasn't a date. This was just an outing with a friend and my sister. I'd even pay for my own ticket. Friends went out to movies and dinner all the time. This was not a date.

Angry with myself, I raced into the bathroom and scrubbed all the makeup off my face before returning to my room. Then, with a sigh, I put it all back on again, eyeshadow and all.

I needed psychiatric help. A professional.

I shot up in my chair with surprise when Petunia barged through my door, not bothering to knock first, obviously. "Vernon's here," she informed me briskly. "We're leaving. Get downstairs."

"Your wish is my command," I told her as I slipped on some sandals and then grabbed my purse.

"Have fun on your double date!" my mum called as we walked towards the car.

I doubted even a professional could help me now.

The ride down to the restaurant was extremely awkward. Petunia didn't want to talk to James or me. I didn't want to talk to Tuney. James, who had a tendency to ramble when he was nervous, wanted to talk desperately, but he controlled the urge. He ran his hand through his hair so many times that I was pretty sure he was going to end up bald. I nearly bit my lip off as I tried to ignore the way James's dress shirt, a navy blue button down over a white wife beater, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, accentuated the beautiful sinews in his tanned forearms. Other than that, I purposefully pretended to ignore Petunia's hawk-like watching of us from the rearview mirror. The only person who seemed oblivious to the tension was Vernon, who enjoyed himself as he mocked the other drivers and almost took out a pedestrian.

"Hey was just egging me on," Vernon had said at the time with a jovial snort.

Obviously, it was a huge relief when we finally arrived at the restaurant and Vernon put the car in park. In an action that truly surprised me, James walked around to my side of the car and opened the door for me. He held out his hand and helped me out of the car. His hand lingered on mine for just a second too long before he thought better and let it go.

I cocked an eyebrow at him curiously. He shrugged. "I'm a Potter," he offered simply. "I had to go to etiquette classes when I was little with all the other pureblood brats."

"That must have been delightful," I told him.

James grinned. "I met Sirius."

I smiled back as I imagined dinner pranks that involved expensive desserts landing in snobby old women's hair.

"How many?" the waitress asked as we entered the restaurant.

"Four," Petunia answered her stiffly.

"All right, then, follow me."

I slid into a booth, and James followed me. Petunia sat directly across from and busied herself with her menu to avoid any unnecessary eye contact. I rolled my eyes. The place wasn't too fancy or too pathetically dingy. It was just a typical restaurant that was right across from the movie theater. I had already been there countless times so I knew what I wanted to order. Once I found something I liked at a restaurant, I always ate the same thing.

James examined his menu skeptically. "Muggle food is so bizarre," he hissed into my ear.

I chuckled. "Yes, because the fact that it doesn't make steam come out of your ears is just so weird."

James grinned at me and then went back to scouring the menu.

When the waitress returned, he finally decided on a bacon and cheddar cheeseburger. I smiled in approval, for some reason finding his ability to eat a very large burger oddly attractive. The waitress appeared to be charmed as well because her eyes strayed oh him for far too long. I decided not to leave her any tip.

James, oblivious to the girl's batting eyelashes and puckered lips, turned to Petunia.

"So, Petunia, Lily's mentioned that you go to, uhh, college, I think it was?"

Vernon grunted. "You don't even know what college is?"

I didn't like the fact that Vernon answered for her. Judging from the way James's mouth frowned slightly, neither did he.

Nevertheless, James turned to look at him politely. "Wizards don't have college. After Hogwarts, we can move on to academies if you want to be an Auror or a Healer, but that's only for the more elite."

"So most of your kind are not very bright then, Jim," Vernon said with a satisfied grin forming under the blonde caterpillar.

James smiled, but I could tell it was forced. "James," he corrected. "And, no, that's not the case. We pride ourselves on the fact that we are able to teach more in a shorter period of time. Plus, being able to do magic has its obvious advantages," added James, fingering his wand in his pocket.

Vernon wrapped his arm around Petunia in an attempt to either protect himself or her from James's evil answers and frightening stick.

"But, I think it would be really rather fascinating to give up magic for a time," continued James, never one to be disheartened by rudeness—from years of practice. "As I'm sure it would be very interesting for you to spend a day in Lily's shoes, eh, Petunia?"

Tuney glared at him. "I've never liked Lily's taste in footwear," she told him snottily.

James winced. "Well, obviously, I wasn't being literal there," he amended as his hand rose to his hair.

I felt bad for him. Petunia was not known for being considerate. Of course, she had understood he wasn't speaking about shoes. Petunia was not that much of an idiot, but she did want to make James feel like one. I knew Petunia would always hate him. As soon as she found out he was a freak, he was scum in her mind.

"Didn't you ever want to be a witch, too?" James pressed.

I knew what he was doing. James was trying very hard to get her to admit, even by accident, that she did not completely despise my way of life. It was a very nice, very manipulative gesture but ultimately futile.

Petunia looked at Vernon anxiously before her face turned cold again. "No, never."

"Huh," replied James.

Fortunately, the food arrived. Pity that that meant no more conversation. It had been going so well.

Unfortunately, as could have been expected with boys like James and especially Vernon, the food did not last long.

"So, Jim, what do your parents do?" Vernon asked smugly as he plunged the last bit of steak into his mouth.

"James," he corrected in a forced voice. "And my parents are Aurors. Basically, they fight dark wizards."

"So your kind is dangerous, then?" Vernon asked happily.

I stared at Petunia. How could she just let him ask that? She looked at me for a second before diverting her attention back to her salad.

"Not any more dangerous than yours," replied James with a slight chuckle. "Muggle news is very interesting. Whoever thought of this gun nonsense was obviously not a very bright bloke."

I smiled at James, and he winked at me.

"Sometimes people need to protect themselves," Petunia said.

"Yes, but shouldn't that be more defensive than offensive? It's not exactly like you can shield yourself with a gun," I told her.

"Like you know anything about shielding others, Lily. You're too busy thinking about how you can outshine everyone."

"Ahh," I corrected. "But you surely know about stabbing people in the back."

Petunia shot me a dirty look and scooted closer to Vernon.

"Now, Jim—"

"It's James!" I interrupted loudly. I spotted the waitress and called out to her to get her attention. "Check, please!"

Once out of the restaurant, I smacked my head against James's chest. "That was a complete nightmare," I told him, the sound coming out muffled.

James pulled me away from him. I tried not to feel rejected by the action. "Who knew one dinner could be so hostile? I feel like I suddenly understand your inclination to shouting at Hogwarts."

I groaned. "You are so lucky you don't have siblings, Jim."

James growled. "Merlin, I thought I was going to punch him by that last time he called me that. If you hadn't stepped in…"

I laughed at the wistfulness in his voice. "The night's still young. Maybe you'll get another chance to pummel him."

James grinned at me wickedly as we approached the ticket booth.

"Two for _Empire Strikes Back_ at eight o'clock, please," I asked the teenager behind the glass.

I opened up my purse to grab some pounds, but James stopped me with his hand.

"I've got it," he said as he pulled out the money and gave it to the cashier, who handed him back the tickets.

I stared at James in bewilderment. "How did you get muggle money?"

James laughed and yanked teasingly on my ponytail. "It's not that hard, Lily. Besides, I'm James Potter."

"Arrogant prick! I would have paid for my own ticket."

James smiled crookedly at me. "I knew that. But I'd never give you the chance. My mum would skin me alive if I had made a girl pay for herself."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't shake the happiness heating up my entire body, even my toes. He had paid! It really almost was a date. I put on angry face for show. "Fine, Jim, but I'm paying for the popcorn, and if you try to stop me, I will hex you."

James laughed. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Lily."

We ended up sitting in the row behind Petunia and Vernon. James and I amused ourselves by chucking popcorn at them and then ducking every time they looked back as we stifled our giggling with the backs of our hands. Petunia was so annoyed with me. It was fantastic.

"So what's a movie, anyway?" James asked as he popped yet another piece of popcorn into his mouth.

Of course he wouldn't be full from the half of cow he had just eaten for dinner. I laughed.

"What?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing, really. It's just so funny that you are so clueless about the muggle world."

"Well, we can't all be all-knowing like you, Lily," James countered.

I grinned. "True," I sighed dramatically before getting serious. "Basically, it's just like a television show only longer and with better production value."

James nodded. "And bigger screens," he added with a glance forward.

"Exactly. The movie we're seeing tonight is actually a sequel."

"Sequel? What does that mean?"

"Well, the first movie did really well at the box office, so—"

"What in Merlin's name is a box office?"

"Well, it means that it was a top grossing film."

"Wait, it's gross?" James asked.

"No, the first film was really rather good. I enjoyed it immensely. I'm really rather shocked that Petunia picked this movie to see. I didn't think she had good enough taste for _Star Wars_."

"Wait, there's a war?" asked James, confused. "And how am I supposed to watch this if I have no clue what happened in the first one?"

"Will you stop interrupting me so that I can answer your bloody question?" I asked in exasperation.

The lights went down and the screen lit up with a company's logo. James jumped in his seat, and I giggled loudly.

"It's not funny! I've never done this before!" James hissed at me.

"Sorry," I whispered back with a grin. "I keep forgetting you're a movie virgin."

"Well, you're going to change that for me, aren't you?" he teased.

My mouth slid open. "Yeah," I breathed.

"Good," he replied before swiveling in his chair to face the screen.

The first preview ended, and James looked at me expectantly. "I thought you said that movies were supposed to be long."

I rolled my eyes. "It's a trailer, James."

"A what?"

I chuckled quietly to myself. "Just shut up and watch the screen. The movie will be on soon."

With a hint of a smirk playing at his lips, James sat back in his chair and focused on the screen. I watched with delight as his eyes sparkled with excitement as the thundering theme filled the theater.

The movie was excellent. It truly was. It immediately became one of my favorites, so well written and so engaging. It was a testament to the boy sitting next to me that he was able to distract me from it when he moved his hand from the resting position on his dark jeans and interlaced it with mine. I reminded myself that it didn't mean anything, it was just a friendly gesture, but I couldn't help but to feel slightly hopeful as his thumb absentmindedly traced the back of my hand as he stared at the screen in rapture. My eyes followed his hand up to his elbow and admired his forearms. Really, they were the loveliest forearms I had ever seen, especially contrasted with the blue of his dress shirt, my weakness.

Later, his hand moved to wrap around my shoulder, and I leaned in to stick my nose at the base of his throat. He smelled like pine sap.

Merlin, I loved the movies.

All too soon, the film ended with a cliffhanger, and I felt the thrill of such a great plot combined with the peevish anxiousness to find out what would happen next. Some people started to clap, and I watched fondly as James joined them fervently. As the credits continued to scroll, James turned to face me with the biggest smile on his face.

"That was amazing!" he exclaimed with a child's wonder. "Oh, Merlin, Lily! That was amazing!"

I laughed and had to agree. "You're right. It was fantastic!"

"It was every single good adjective I can think of and more!" he cried.

James was still gushing about the film after we had ditched Petunia and Vernon to go get ice cream. He had remembered that mint chocolate chip was both of our favorites.

"And the force!" James continued enthusiastically as he took a bite out of his cone. "It was just like magic but without wands! And I loved that little green guy. He reminds me of my favorite house-elf. They both talk in circles!"

I laughed and took a second to lick my cone. "I think he was my favorite character."

"I loved that Solo fellow. He was the most like me."

"Really?" I asked with amusement.

"C'mon! The way he said, 'I know?' That was so smooth! He and I are completely similar."

I rolled my eyes and mussed up his hair playfully. "Well, you're both scruffy-looking nerf-herders," I replied. "But I think that's where the comparisons end."

James grinned widely. "Aww, come on, Lily, don't you think I could be a scoundrel?"

He studied me with his eyes, which looked greener tonight underneath the streetlights, and then shot me a stunning crooked grin as he whipped off of his glasses enticingly.

"Yeah," I admitted finally after I popped the last of my cone into my mouth to hide my speechlessness. "You're definitely a scoundrel," I murmured as I slammed his glasses back onto his face.

James smiled at me widely and then started prancing a bit around me as I walked down the sidewalk with him. I grinned at his nervous energy.

"I need to know what's going to happen next," he continued. "I can't believe it just ended like that."

"There's going to be another one coming out soon," I told him, remembering an article I had read in the paper from a few weeks ago.

"Really!" he yelped. "That's fantastic! We have to go together!"

I grinned. "We'll go on the very first day it comes out," I told him.

"You promise?" he asked.

"I'll do an Unbreakable Vow right here if you want," I joked.

James continued to smile, and I honestly hoped that we would go see the next film together. Watching him wave his arms widely and chatting excitedly, I realized that I wanted to still be spending time with James in the future. The thought both thrilled and scared me.

At some point during his passionate speech, James managed to get ice cream on his chin. I reached up to wipe it away, and James stopped flitting around to stare at me.

I bit my lip and looked down. "You had ice cream on your face."

"Oh."

We continued to walk when suddenly he grabbed my hand and started running down the sidewalk towards the restaurant parking lot.

"James, why are we running?" I panted.

"You'll see!" he called.

My legs started to burn and I wanted to stop, but I kept following him to wherever he was going. Finally, he stopped behind a tree nearly thirty meters away from Vernon's car.

"James, why are we stopping here? The car's all the way over there!"

James held up a hand and silently pointed to the car. I looked at him dubiously but then watched the car. A few moments later, Vernon and Petunia neared the door. I watched as Vernon pecked Tuney on the mouth, and I gagged in my mouth.

We grimaced together.

"Why would I want to see that?" I hissed at James with revulsion.

"Just wait," James promised.

I peered over at them again, and I saw Vernon open the door and groan loudly and step away from the car. Petunia replaced him and then screeched shrilly as she, too, backed away.

James started silently shaking next to me, and I stared at him with bafflement. "What did you do?"

James snickered quietly behind his hand as tears formed in his eyes. "I - the car - dungbombs—" he forced out.

I laughed loudly, and Petunia heard me and started walking towards us.

"Let's get out of here before she murders us!" called James as she came closer.

I nodded, grabbed James's hand, and apparated back to my front door, still laughing and unbalanced from the change in setting. Overwhelmed by everything, the dizziness, the laughter, the smell of his neck, the way he looked in his shirt, the fact that he'd been the one to buy my ticket, I reached up, wrapped my arms around James's neck, and kissed him.

James pulled back after we had run out of breath.

He stared at me with unfathomable eyes.

"Oh."

* * *

_A/N: hello, everyone! hoped you enjoyed the chapter! the other day, we went mini golfing, and my little sister and my older brother had a long conversation about ball sizes. 'twas magical.__  
__now, since i don't want to spoil anyone, i would just like to briefly mention that i went to the midnight release of half-blood prince, and i positively loved it! i would really like to hear what you guys thought, as well! thank you all so much. aren't you all proud of lily?__lazily yours,__  
__molly_

Modern Molly Update: Today I was rejected by three boys who I asked to the Senior/Junior Prom. I am seriously an undateable loser. I wish I was fictional. Nothing like this happens in stories. In good news, I started writing again. That's something at least, right? If anyone knows of anyone good Sirius/OC stories (my latest interest), I would be really grateful. It would help alleviate my intense lameness.


	10. Unwanted Interruptions

_Previously on Boyfriend:__Overwhelmed by everything, the dizziness, the laughter, the smell of his neck, the way he looked in his shirt, the fact that he'd been the one to buy my ticket, I reached up, wrapped my arms around James's neck, and kissed him.__James pulled back after we had run out of breath.__He stared at me with unfathomable eyes.__"Oh."_

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**Chapter Ten**

**Unwanted Interruptions**

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_"Don't have sex, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them." - Steve Martin_

* * *

"Oh," I gasped again.

James grinned crookedly with a smirk so devilish I felt my knees go weak as my heart began to hammer inside my chest. "That's all you have to say?" he asked me sinfully with a husky voice that was drenched with snogging.

Not trusting myself to speak, I merely nodded. When did my face start to get so red? Merlin, I needed to breathe. Okay, in and out. You could do this, Lily.

"Let's see if I can make you say something else," he voiced deeply as he brushed his lips against the base of my neck. He paused to blow on a wet spot, and I shivered. He chuckled deeply, and my eyes fluttered close at the sound and the vibrations of his body against mine. "Preferably my name," he continued as his lips traveled up my jaw and then began to tease my lips. He took one my bottom lip into his mouth and began to suck on it.

I felt my eyes begin to roll to the back of my head. "James," I breathed.

"Hmm? What was that?" he tormented.

Embarrassed by the pure volume of my moan, I tore my lips away from his. "James," I called a bit out a bit louder this time.

His mouth moved back down to my neck and his lips devoured the skin there. He was going to leave a mark. "James," I tried to say again but almost no sound came out.

He laughed throatily as his lips moved to my earlobe. My breathing completely stopped as he nipped the tip of my ear and then used his tongue to-

My body lurched forward into a sitting position. I raised my hand to my face and wiped the sleep away from my eyes. I looked down at my familiar yellow sheets and frowned. My face was heated, and I knew that it wasn't because of the temperature of my room. I closed my eyes wistfully and tried to recreate the last few moments of my dream. It had been so better than the reality.

_"Oh."_

_James opened his mouth to say something, but the porch light turned on. I looked up at the light and blinked in confusion. James, too, seemed paralyzed with puzzlement. The front door opened, and my mum's anxious face came into view._

_"Oh!" she exclaimed in relief. "It's just you two. I heard a noise, and I thought there were robbers, or something."_

_I stared at my mum and nodded dumbly. Robbers? We lived in a simple muggle neighborhood. The last reported crime had been when a kid's cat had been stolen three years ago-when really his parents had just lied about running over it with their car._

_"Why don't you two come inside? It's awfully late. Where's your sister?"_

_I stepped into the house. "Tuney is still out with Vernon," I replied in a weak voice._

_"She didn't come home with you?"_

_I shook my head._

_Mum sighed. "Ahh, well. Let's get you two off to bed," she decided as she rushed us up the stairs. We reached my room, and my mum turned to James. _

_"James, dear, I was wondering if I could peek into the guest room for a moment before you get ready for bed. I think I have a box of school supplies I need hidden in the closet there someplace."_

_"Sure, Mrs. Evans."_

_"I figure I'll sort through that as I wait for Petunia to come home. Maybe I'll make a spot of tea," she mused to herself. "Well, off to bed, Lily."_

_I nodded and then opened the door to my room. "Night, Mum." My fingers hesitated on the doorknob. I looked over my shoulder at James. I tried to tell him with my eyes that I didn't want this to be the way we had to end the night, that I wanted to talk to him more, that I wished my mum had not chosen this night of all nights to prowl the hallways. I needed him to understand that the lack of our usual midnight talk was not my doing but that of my overbearing mother. I wanted to find out what had just happened between us. Had it meant what I thought it meant?_

_I tried to convey a plethora of emotions in that one look, but James just stared back at me with that same enigmatic expression from before. "Night, James," I told him softly. _

_"Sweet, dreams, Lily," I heard him reply right before I slipped behind my door._

Ugh, I could not believe I had been cockblocked by my own mother. Couldn't she sense that possibly the most important thing to have ever happened between James and me had been going on? Or, perhaps she had, and she wanted to stop us before anyone's virtue was in jeopardy. Well, virtue be damned! I had finally kissed James Potter for real, and I wanted to do it again!

Oh dear Merlin, I wanted to do it again.

It was the strangest thought.

I kind of liked it, though.

And that was even stranger.

Eagerly, I flounced into the bathroom, vigorously brushed my teeth, attacked my frizzy hair with a brush, splashed some water on my face, and then raced down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Why, Lily, I think this is a record, or something," Mum said as she put down her spoon and wiped her hands on a dish towel.

"What?" I asked.

"This is the most I've ever seen you in the mornings since you hit puberty. It's not even ten o'clock yet."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Mum, they're due to hold a ceremony on Main Street tomorrow in my honor," I grumbled dully.

"Well, a flood watch or bomb scare should be in our eminent future, at the very least," she mused with a laugh as she turned back to a pan on the stove.

"Haha, very funny, Mum. You get more hilarious every day."

"I think so too," she said with a smile as she ignored my obvious sarcasm.

I peeked at the clock and watched the seconds tick by. "Have you seen James? Is he up yet? I really want to talk to him."

"Why? Are you two up to something?"

"No," I replied back a bit too quickly to sound innocent.

"Lily," she said slowly. "You know it's always better if you just tell me up front. You're a terrible liar. Your face always gives you away."

"I'm a good liar!" I argued stubbornly.

"What happened to my favorite sweater last month?"

I felt my face begin to redden. "Umm, Petunia decided to play with matches unsupervised?"

Okay, I had accidentally set fire to it while experimenting with some advanced charms wand work.

My mum sniggered. "Sure, she did."

"Someone needs to teach that girl about fire safety," I persisted.

"You are so full of it, my daughter."

I glanced back up at the clock. I was sick of being made fun of, and I still didn't know where James was. "Mum, where is he?"

"Relax, Lily, James just ran out to get the paper for me. He'll be back in fifteen seconds. I'm sure your teenage hormones can wait till then." She ladled a bit of oatmeal from the pot into a bowl and then thrusted it and a glass of orange juice at me.

"Mum," I whined in a drawn-out voice as I wrinkled my nose at the mortifying thought of our little talk the other day.

"Lily," she mimicked back before turning back to her oatmeal.

I fastened my eyes back onto the clock. It took twenty-three seconds for James to enter the kitchen in his usual pajama pants and tight white undershirt.

My body simultaneously relaxed and ignited from his presence. I wanted to run over to him, throw my arms around his neck, and explain all the mixed emotions I was feeling. However, with a quick look in my mum's direction, I stayed in my chair at the kitchen table. Luckily, under the guise of our fake relationship, James dropped the paper onto the table and walked over to me.

"Hey," I greeted him with a shy smile.

He grinned at me as his eyes searched mine. "Hey."

Strictly for my mother's benefit, he reached down and brushed his lips over my forehead so lightly that I could barely feel it. He then moved to my ear. "We need to talk," he hissed before pulling back.

I gulped as I examined him with huge eyes. Those words were never good. I suddenly hated those words. More than that, I hated the English language. What was with all the bloody imperative sentences anyway? Plus, there was all this nonsense about dangling modifiers and ending sentences with prepositions that I simply could not be bothered with. Obviously.

"Oh, James, thank God you're here," interrupted my mother. "Lily's been asking for you all morning. I think you even might be the reason for her waking up at such a normal hour."

James tore his gaze away from mine to laugh with my mum. "I would never take credit for that. I'm not that conceited to think I could make Lily do something she didn't want to do."

I snorted into my orange juice. The tally for the amount of times he had asked me out was, what 7,632, give or take a few? Nah, he never tried to impose. A preposterous notion! That was trying to sway my decision! No! That was just James practicing the laws of statistics. If he asked me out a million times, there was an 87% chance that he would wind up in the lake.

Of course, that percentage had probably decreased now that I had….

I tuned my mum and James's annoyingly cute blather out of my head as I repeated my new mantra over and over.

We need to talk. We need to talk. We _need _to talk. _We _need to talk. _We need to talk._

Merlin, if I didn't say something soon, there was a 100% percent chance that I was going to explode.

"Pineapple," I blurted out.

My mum and James stopped there amicable chatting to stare at me like I had finally gone bonkers. In their defense, I probably had.

"What, Lily?" my mum asked.

My face reddened, and I searched my brain for whatever synapse misfired and caused me to utter that word. Could I blame this on Petunia? No, too much roundabout logic. Could this have anything to do with the fake relationship history James and I had created for ourselves? No, that would involve too much creative license and, frankly, kinky topics. Damn, there had to be a potion for this sort of situation. Oh, Potions!

"My Potions professor loves crystallized pineapple," I told her.

James eyed me strangely. "Why were you thinking about Professor Slughorn?"

I shrugged and pretended I was just being my normal, lunatic self. "You know, summer is the time for, uh, slugs…" I finished with a frown at my own logic.

My mum appraised me like I had suddenly turned into a slug and then turned back to her preferred child, James. How cruel was it that my mum loved my fake boyfriend more than me? At least, I still had priority over Petunia. Well, so could a slug, really.

Twenty minutes had gone by and I half expected them to just start snogging across the kitchen counter. Mum was already in love with him, and James would do anything to be the picture perfect boyfriend, even if that meant subjecting himself to my mother's crazy, middle-aged horniness. I fingered my wand and debated whether or not a few hexes were in order.

We need to talk.

Finally, giggling like old broads, James and my mum stopped talking so that he could go upstairs and shower. I lifted my head off the table from where I had started silently slamming it five pats of my mother's hand on James's arm ago. I eagerly got up and followed James out of the kitchen.

"Oh, Lily!" she called.

Shmeka-bloody-leen.

I spun on my heel and forced my mouth into a grin. "Yes, Mum?"

"Would you do me a favor and do the dishes? I have a few things to take care of before I head down to school today."

"Sure, Mum," I replied through gritted teeth.

"Thanks, Lily," she called as she flittered up the stairs.

Yeah, a few things to take care of. More like she wanted to fool around with my boyfriend, I thought acidly as I plopped the biggest pot into the sink. Soap scum and water splashed out to cover my chest and face. I looked down and noticed that the sink was full of dishes that needed to be washed from the night before. Ruddy perfect.

I heard a girlish giggle upstairs, and I accidentally flicked the faucet in my direction, effectively spraying myself in the face with water. Merlin, why did my thoughts always have to go to the most inappropriate, most perverse, and most I-have-to-go-vomit-out-my-brain-now image?

After towel-drying the last dish and putting it away, cursing every name I could think of, I trudged up the stairs and nearly collided with James in the hallway.

"There you are, Lily," he said in a relieved voice."Listen, I-" he paused as his eyes raked over my wet appearance. Ahh, glad to know that I could render a boy speechless sopping wet and covered in green dish soap.

"Lily, what happened?"

I groaned. "The sink and I had a duel. It won," I told him unenthusiastically.

"It looks like there was a grindylow, or something, hiding in the faucet," he commented with a slight guffaw as he eyed my dripping appearance.

Some sort of green, unidentifiable substance dripped onto my nose, and he forced his fist over his mouth to silence his laughter. I shot him a warning look. "Or, something."

"A mermaid, perhaps?"

I eyed him crossly.

He knew by my murderous glare that this was not the time for us to have a big heart-to-heart about how he was really only being my fake boyfriend so that he could steal my mum away from my father and go rush off together to Majorca. You know, that or I had kissed him. "Maybe you should go take a shower," James suggested cautiously.

I nodded and my wet hair felt heavy and slimy as it swayed back onto my shoulders. James moved out of my way as I headed to the bathroom.

I threw off James's shirt in disgust. I would need to wash it before tonight. Better yet, I took out my wand, which I had the habit of sticking in my underwear-at my hip, of course-and _Scourgified _it. Then, I hopped into the shower and washed away all the soap and grime on my body that James had found either too revolting or too hilarious to be able to continue to have a conversation with me.

I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my torso before grabbing James's shirt and walking out of the bathroom. I walked about three meters when James opened the door to the guest room and walked into the hallway, as well.

"Oh," I said in surprise as I nearly dropped my towel. That would have been interesting. I mentally pictured what James would do if I did. Better yet, if he was the one in a towel. Grr, why hadn't the obvious aneurysm in my bran just popped already and saved me from this misery? I wrapped the towel tighter around my body.

"Lily," James breathed. I heard him groan from the back of his throat. It really did not help my towel debate. "Merlin, Lily," sighed James, walking over to me and raising his hand to touch my bare shoulder.

"James," I replied.

His fingers suddenly fell back as he heard his name, as though he had just realized what he had been doing.

James took a deep breath and forced himself to look into my eyes. "Now is not that time for us to talk."

I looked up at him and then back down at my towel. My face flushed red. "I'm gonna go dry off so I'm not so wet—because of my shower- I mean, put clothes on—so that I'm not naked—I'm just gonna go to my room now," I prattled quickly.

James took a step backwards and let me scamper off to my room. I shut the door behind me and rested my head against the wood as I tried to calm down. I felt a pressured against my back, and I guessed that James was resting just on the other side.

We need to talk.

That or all of this awkwardness was going to make me explode. Death by awkwardization, what a way to go! I wondered if Tuney would cry at my funeral…

On that morbid thought, I threw on some red shorts and a black top. I dried my hair instantly with my wand and then applied my makeup sloppily as I wished I could have had a normal hair color, which would have given me normal eyelashes.

I peeked out of my door first before I opened it. I don't know what I would do if James was outside. I was fully clothed and dry now, and, hopefully-well, somewhat hopefully-he would be, as well. Really, there was no reason why we couldn't walk down together and discuss that kiss like two mature, rational human beings.

Oh, Merlin, that kiss.

It had been better than all of our previous snogfests on various bits of furniture throughout the house. Of course, the fact that it had not been performed in front of a member of my family was a huge plus, but it was also because there was no need for it. Unlike all of our other kisses, we had no obligation to do it. No one was there. It was just us. I did it because I had wanted to. Only, now I wasn't sure if he had wanted me to.

We need to talk.

If James was outside, I was going to just head back into my room and do some work inside. I bet I could color-coordinate my sock drawer. All of my lovely socks had probably begun to feel awfully lonely now that I had abandoned them for the summer in favor of bare feet and sandals. Socks were awfully jealous bits of fabric.

Thankfully, James was nowhere to be seen, so there was no need for me to duck back inside my room-apart from my obvious gauche behavior. I just needed to talk to him. Then, even if it did go terribly wrong and he and my mum wanted me to call him "Jim Daddy" from now on, I could stop freaking out from all of this stress about our talk, at least!

I walked downstairs and found James drinking milk out of the cartoon in the kitchen. I rolled my eyes. Boys were disgusting-pheremonically irresistible, yes, but disgusting.

"What are you doing?" I asked him scandalously.

James put down the carton guiltily and ruffled his hair with his fingers. Channeling Professor McGonagall as my muse, I placed my hands on my hips to appear more authoritative. "Well?" I pressed in an effort to stall everything important for a good joke.

James grinned shiftily at me like a First Year who had just sent fire to his Potions partner's hair, like Sirius had done to Hestia six years ago. James and Sirius must have practiced that rueful, puppy dog look in the mirror together.

"There was only a little bit left," he offered guiltily.

Enjoying myself immensely, I grinned. "Sure, James. You know, after you leave for good, I think I'm going to tell my mum about all the horrible things you do when she's not around. It'll ease her grief," I added with an exaggerated roll of my eyes.

"About that," James said slowly. "Lily, I think-"

"Mum!"

I turned around in frustration. I had almost mentally prepared myself for James to crush whatever sprit I had left in my body. My poor self-esteem could not take any more interruptions.

"MUM!" a voice called even louder this time.

I narrowed my eyes at the sound: Petunia. Of course it was her. She ruined everything all the time. She was a big, fat-okay, skinny and bony with perfectly styled blonde hair-ruiner.

I groaned. "Mum's not here, Petunia!" I yelled out to her.

A few clacks of her heels and she was in the kitchen, as well. "Where'd she go?"

"Hello, to you, Tuney," I said politely with a forced grin.

Tuney sighed. "Hello, my freakish sister," she conceded.

I folded my arms across my chest and tapped my fingers impatiently as I waited. "Forgetting someone?" I cooed.

"Hello, my freakish sister's equally freaky boyfriend."

James and I grinned at each other. "Hey, Petunia," he snorted back at her.

She ignored him and rounded back at me. "Where did Mum go?"

"She went to the school to do work again," I told her. "She's usually back by three or four, though."

Petunia glanced at the clock. It was only about 12:30 now. She groaned.

"What do you need to talk to Mum about anyway?" I asked her curiously.

Petunia sneered at me while pursing her lips. "None of your business."

I gritted my teeth together as James smiled good-naturedly. "Well, I've never had a sister before, but I do have three brothers, and all of their business is my business. Keeping a secret requires an unbreakable vow!" he added with a laugh but then sobered up when he saw the blank look on Petunia's face.

"Sorry," he murmured. "Wizard's humor."

"Ahh, peachy," Petunia muttered. Then she squinted her beady eyes at him with confusion. "I thought you said you were an only child?"

"Well, they aren't related to me by blood, but I still consider them to be part of my family."

I grinned mockingly at James. "After his parents had him, they didn't need any more children. He was just too perfect," I teased.

James winked at me.

"I wish more parents decided to quit while they were ahead," Tuney muttered bitterly.

"Well, ours certainly knew what to do, right, Tuney?" I asked her sweetly.

Petunia glared at me. "Since I'm already here and I need to talk to Mum, I'm going to eat lunch."

"What kind of salad will it be today?" I asked acerbically.

Lunch was painful, at best. James and I tried very hard to keep up the charade in front of Petunia, but every sideways glance, affectionate tone, and innocent touch was starting to take its toll. I just needed to do something about that kiss! How much longer could we go on ignoring it? I just keep replaying last night over and over in my mind. Merlin, now I was really frustrated.

"You must get so excited when Lily comes home from the summer," James said to Petunia.

She finished her bite of Caesar salad, dressing on the side-I knew it!- and then answered him. "It's an adjustment."

"But surely a good one," replied James optimistically. "I mean, holidays are fantastic for a few weeks, but I think they get dreadfully boring after a while. You have no job, no practices, no schoolwork to keep you busy, and all of your friends are scattered across the country. At least, you have Lily to keep you company."

Even though Petunia had the pleasantness of a prostate exam, I had to concede that her presence in my life did make my summers go by faster. Each day I found new ways to piss her off. Plus, I could spend at least three hours complaining about her to one of my parents without running out of material. I knew this because my dad and I clocked it once. We often talked about trying to break the record.

But James didn't have anyone. I mean, sure, he had his friends, but they had their own families and their own lives to tend to in the summer. Plus, it wasn't like James could just hang out with his parents. They were gone, making the world safe from some other family's children. And I thought my summer was boring with no one to talk to.

"You can have her," Petunia grumbled.

James grinned crookedly at her, and I swore I could see Petunia's stone face crumble. That smile could make anyone lose their head. "Thank you," said James graciously as he winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. Great, I had just been bartered away in exchange for some quiet time. It was so nice to know that my existence was equal to a $0.99 pack of earplugs.

"But I wouldn't dare take her from you. She's far too big of a prat for me to handle all alone."

I wanted to hit him in the chest, but I thought better of it. I stuck my tongue out instead.

"We'll share her," amended James brightly as he swung his arm around the back of my chair.

I fought the urge to melt into a puddle of Essence of Lily, a new potion I had invented. Apparently, all one needed to do was take three strands of my hair and add James smiling lopsidedly at it, and _voila_! I hoped Petunia didn't walk through me with her strappy sandal wedges.

About an hour or more later, Petunia decided she had run out of insults for the day, so she grabbed her keys and headed for the door. Apparently, she didn't care if Mum gave her permission or not. Vernon was waiting. Oh, the horror!

I was more than happy to shoo her out. Finally, James and I would be able to talk. Unfortunately, as I nearly pushed her out the door, it opened.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" I blurted out as I saw him lug his briefcase forward as he walked up the stairs to the side entrance of the house, which was nearest to the driveway.

Dad chuckled. "Nice to you see you, too, Lils," he greeted me.

"Oh, sorry, Daddy. Hi!" I corrected as I lunged forward to give him a hug.

He laughed, rubbed my back, and then kissed the top of my head. "Hi, baby girl."

"I'm leaving," Petunia announced suddenly.

"Where are you going?" asked Dad.

"To Vernon's."

"And will there be boys there?" Dad interrogated in his most imposing voice that was ruined when he started laughing at his own joke.

Petunia rolled her eyes. "You two are so similar," she mumbled as she waved her hand to gesture at us. "Bye!"

She left and Dad turned to look at me quizzically. "Was that meant to be an insult?" he asked me.

I shrugged.

"Well, if it was," he mused with a chuckle. "It wasn't a very good one."

Smiling, I sidestepped so that he could get into the house and followed him into the kitchen, where James was still sitting at the kitchen table. When he saw us enter, he rose from his chair.

"Hey, Mr. Evans!" James greeted him cheerfully.

"Hello, James," replied Dad as he put his briefcase on the table and then sat down. "Oh, wow, I sure wish I could do magic so I could just summon a glass of water to me."

I shook my head and then got up to pour him a glass. "Here you go, Dad," I said as I gave him the cup.

"Crikey!" he screeched as he looked down at the glass in his hand. "I can do magic!"

We laughed together.

"Thanks, Lily," he told me as he reached over to hug me.

I looked at the seats. I could either sit next to my dad or next to James. I decided to just sit between them.

"Now, Dad, don't take this the wrong way because I'm thrilled you're here. But why are you home so early?"

So early that you thwarted my attempt to talk to James about our first real kiss on the porch last night? A kiss so good that I felt my knees start to give out? A kiss that made my girly dreams seem insufficient? Really, Dad. Couldn't you just have stayed at the office for five more minutes?

"Well," Dad said tiredly after taking a sip of water. "We're having some trouble with the company. Accounting accidentally forgot to carry a few zeros, and now we're facing some major challenges. Bloody accountants, never liked them," he muttered bitterly.

"Wouldn't it make more sense for you to be down there, then?" asked James curiously.

"Nah, I'm complete rubbish with numbers. Though, at this rate, I'd probably do loads better than the prats we have working for us. Anyway, until they get it all sorted out, I can't do anything. We've had to stop all production and designs for the rest of the day."

"I'm sorry, Dad," I said as I patted him on the arm.

He tapped his hand over man. "Just goes to show that you should never take things for granted. I can't imagine how they hadn't realized the problem before. Still, I got to leave early," he added with a grin.

James and I chuckled lightly.

"So, now that I know Petunia's gone, where is the other lovely lady of the house?"

"Mum's still at the school setting up her classroom," I answered him.

"Ahh, that stinks," he said. "I finally get to come home early and nobody's home."

"Excuse me!" I shrieked.

James snorted. "Mr. Evans, I think that was a rather foolish thing to say."

"You're right, James. Word of advice for your future, never tease Lily. She makes everything so dramatic."

"That's an understatement," added James with a grin to my father.

I crossed my arms across my chest and seethed in my seat. Bloody git. I bloody wasn't going to kiss him again now! Not, you know, that I had been planning on it…Oh, ruddy hell! I had been planning it since even before I had caught my breath from the one last night.

Dad rose and grabbed the phone. "What do you kids think about takeout?"

I looked at the clock. "Dad, it's only about three thirty!" I told him.

"I know," he replied with a grin.

"It's too early for dinner," I told him.

Dad played with the phone in his hands. "But I always get hungry when I get home from work. My body doesn't know that it's not the right time. It just wants food."

"Dad."

"Lily," he countered.

I bit my lip with uncertainty.

"We'll save some from your mother."

"Oh, I dunno," I voiced.

"C'mon, Lily. You know you want to," James urged me mischievously as he licked his lips.

My eyes watched the movement, and I became transfixed by it. "Fine," I breathed finally.

My dad and James walloped with glee and high-fived each other in a manly fashion. I rolled my eyes. They were such boys. Still, it was nice to see them bonding like father and fake boyfriend.

Peering over the kitchen table, we poured over a restaurant's menu and picked out the best dishes. James, a connoisseur of wizarding food, raised loads of questions about all the unfamiliar muggle foods. Just thinking about all of the cholesterol and unsaturated fats made my stomach grumble with hunger-even if it was just three in the afternoon.

James and my dad decided to go get the food. My job as the girl-chauvinist pigs-was to set the table and maintain the fort in case my mum showed up.

I set the table quickly. By myself, I was able to think rationally enough to sort out my priorities. The faster we ate, the faster we could clean up. Then, it would only be a matter of time before James and I could finally sneak away and have our talk, which would hopefully end in lots and lots of snogging. Merlin, what was happening to me?

I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I always found that to be very good for my jitters. Water was relaxing. Soon, I heard the sound of a door opening, and I raced downstairs to help the men in my life with the food.

Keenly, my dad unleashed the entrees from their containers. Laughing about how giddy and childlike he was acting about just eating dinner, I grabbed my plate and picked out an assortment of food to eat -chicken, pasta with shrimp, salad, mashed potatoes, and a bit of garlic bread. We ate like thieves. I nearly had side-stickers from watching James and my dad pick out their food. It was like every dollop was as important as one of the Wizengamot's decisions.

I finished my dinner, which was excellent, in little time, but my dad and James were still going strong. I enjoyed watching them bond. It was so nice to see them after the whole "are you the bloke who is going to devirginize my daughter" phase. Now, James was more like a son. I sighed. I'd have to get him to write to my dad after the breakup to let him down easy-my mum, too.

"There I was without a map or a paddle or anything to keep me afloat, and the rapids were coming in," my dad said theatrically with a laugh.

"What did you do?" James asked anxiously.

"I jumped out and swam!" Dad exclaimed. "And my mates all had to rush out of the canoe and come get me before I got knocked out by a wave."

"How'd they know to do that?"

"They didn't! We ended up falling over one of those miniature waterfalls. I don't think I've ever screamed so hard in my life. After it was all over, we rushed to the nearest hotel and called up all of our mums."

They broke out into laughter, and I smiled appreciatively at Dad's silly college stories.

"That's fantastic!" James squeaked. "Oh, if you want to hear some stories about friends, Mr. Evans, do I have some. This one time, my best mate Sirius and I had accidentally set fire to this guy, Filch—he works at Hogwarts-well, we set fire to his cat and-"

He paused as he heard the door squeak open. We all stared at each other with petrified faces.

"Quick!" my dad muttered. "Hide the evidence!" He reached out to grab a dish and he quickly began to eat whatever was inside of it as he ran to throw away the container.

"Lily, right, that's a good idea!"

"Okay, James, yeah, put that there!"

"No! Dad, there's no time!"

"We're going to have to sacrifice it!"

"No! Not the garlic bread!"

James and I followed suit as fast as we could. We all huddled at the table, frantically hiding dishes, when Mum strode into the kitchen.

I put down the tin of salad I was holding and swallowed the bite of chicken that had lodged into my throat.

"What did you three do?" demanded Mum dangerously.

Dad made an effort to swallow his mouthful, but he started coughing. James thumped him on the back, and he wheezed a bit before opening his mouth to speak. "Hi, hunny. How was your day?"

My mum threw her purse down onto a chair. "Don't you, 'hunny,' me, Henry. What were you three doing, and why do you all look so guilty?"

Dad sent me an anxious look, and I gave him a weak smile back for reinforcement. He took a deep breath and held up a half-empty container of chicken. "Hungry?" he asked.

"Henry," my mum snarled angrily.

"Dear?" he gulped back as his face visibly paled. "It was their idea!" he added pointing to James and me.

"Dad!" I screeched. "Way to throw us under the train!"

"Sorry, Lily," he muttered. "But if I'm going down, I'm taking you two with me."

"How about you sit down, Mrs. Evans," offered James charmingly as he pulled out a chair for her.

"Oh, thank you James," she gushed.

Bloody perfect prick. He always knew what to say.

Dinner now turned from a thirty to forty minute meal into a two hour long ordeal. When was I ruddy going to be able to talk to James?

We need to talk!

Finally after smiling politely, talking when necessary, and frantically tearing my napkin into teeny tiny pieces on my lap, dinner was over. Thank Merlin! I could get James alone.

"James, why don't you and Mr. Evans go watch some television together?"

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" James asked.

"No, I'm fine, you guys go have fun."

James and my dad pranced off happily. I followed them.

"No, you don't, Lily. You're staying here to help clean."

I groaned. At this rate, I was never going to get him alone. Why did my family hate me?

Begrudgingly, I cleared the table. Since there were no pots or pans that needed to be washed, it only took us about three minutes. Mum, however, did not seem to want to let me go.

"Oh, Lily," she exclaimed as she patted my arm. "I was looking through my boxes today, and I found some of your old artwork that was in there by mistake. It was a picture of all of us in front of the house. We all had flowers growing out of our heads," she recalled with a sniffle. "You were such a talented little girl."

"Thanks, Mum," I replied as I returned her gesture a little awkwardly. Emotional people made me feel uncomfortable. I never knew what to say to waterworks. Plus, crying was gross. Snot was too disgusting for me to be sympathetic.

"I can't believe that this is your last year at school. Soon you'll be off finding a job and getting married and having kids and leaving me all alone with your father," she moaned.

Not if she never let me talk to James!

"What about Petunia?" I asked.

"Oh, she's too involved with Vernon to care about us anymore. She's all grown up now. Just like you," Mum wailed.

I bit my lip sadly. "Oh, come on, Mum. I'm still here. It's okay."

"Do you remember the day you were born?"

I laughed. "Honestly, Mum? It's a little foggy in my mind. I think I was too busy concentrating on being alive."

I smiled as my joke made her chuckle lightly.

"I'll never forget it," she told me. "You were such a beautiful baby. I remember showing you to Petunia and how happy she was that she was going to be a big sister."

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," Mum replied with a laugh. "She didn't want a new sibling at first. She got all huffy and threw a tantrum when your father and I first told her. Then, she'd whine every time we started talking about baby preparations."

"Sounds like Petunia," I grumbled.

"But then she saw you, all wrapped up in your little pink blanket and sleeping like an angel, and I don't think I've ever seen your sister any happier. She told me you two were going to be the best sisters ever in the whole wide world."

The corners of my mouth jerked upwards.

My mum continued to tell me stories about when we were little until Petunia, herself, entered the house. I ran up to her and hugged her bony body with all my might.

She looked down at me with disdain. She pushed me away from her. "What was that for?"

"Can't I just be happy to see you?" I asked her genuinely.

She eyed me suspiciously. "Yeah, well…" she said uncomfortably.

"Oh, girls," Mum gushed.

"Okay," said Petunia stiffly. "I'm going to my room, and I won't be back until my real family shows up."

I laughed loudly.

Mum decided we should go watch television with the boys because we were acting like saps and needed the testosterone. I followed her into the living room and, instead of watching the program, I eyed James the entire time. Any minute now, we would be alone so we could talk. After what seemed like ages of crappy sitcoms and annoying commercials, my parents finally bid us goodnight and trotted off to bed. I glanced at a clock. It only took us one whole day to be alone together. Bloody family.

As soon as they were out of sight, I grabbed James arm and forced him outside to the swings.

"We need to talk," I repeated his words from this morning.

James nodded somberly. "We really do," he agreed.

"Well…" I trailed off uncertainly. Now that we were talking, I had no clue what to ruddy say. Oh why did I never obsess about something practical?

"Lily, I'm really sorry for what happened yesterday," James blurted out abruptly. "That kiss never should have happened.

My face fell. How could he do this? I had finally decided that I liked him and he all of a sudden decided he didn't feel that way about me? What the hell? What was I? Rotten milk, or something?

Oh, Merlin. Did I just say I liked James Potter? I gazed at him as embarrassment shrouded my face. He looked so adorable and contrite as he looked down at the rock he was moving around with his shoe. I did like him. I liked James Potter!

Oh, shut up. You would too.

"I knew that you wanted us just to be friends, but then I acted like an idiot and let my hormones get in the way again. I just can't seem to control myself around you, Lily. I haven't been a very good friend to you. I'm really sorry. If you like, I'll pack my bags tonight and we can stage a big fight tomorrow so that I'll be out of your hair and you can enjoy the rest of your summer."

I bit my lip. "You—you don't have to go," I stammered.

"Really?" he asked, looking up at me with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah," I breathed.

He grinned warmly. "Oh, Lily, I promise I will make this all up to you. I'll work much harder to be a worthwhile friend."

I sighed heavily. "James, we're not friends," I told him.

His smile faltered. "What?"

"James we've never been friends, and we never will be friends. We tried to be, but we should have known it was a completely futile effort."

His eyes searched mine. "Does that mean…?" he trailed off.

He reached up to brush my hair behind my ear. "Lily, I can't take this fake relationship anymore. It's messing with my head so badly. I've wanted you for so long, and now that I'm so close to having you, I just can't make my brain function correctly. If we do this, we have to really do it. No more mind games and no more lustful revenge tactics. Because last night, when you kissed me-well, I'm not sure of anything anymore."

"James," I whispered.

"All I know is that I want it to be real," he told me softly as he wrapped his hand around my face tenderly.

I took a deep breath.

We need to talk. We need to talk. We need to talk.

Talking was overrated.

"Oh, screw it!" I muttered as I closed the gap between us and kissed him full on the lips.

James groaned into my mouth and I opened my lips for his pleading tongue. As I allowed my arms to gravitate towards his hair and my eyes to flutter close, I reveled in how completely alone we both were. No lies, no family, and no interruptions. It was just us, two willing participants.

Slowly, James broke away and placed his forehead against mine. I looked up at him and noticed the most beautiful smile on his face. It instantly became my favorite image in the whole world.

"What are you smiling about?" I teased him quietly as I pulled away slightly.

"You kissed me," he replied lightly as his thumb caressed my cheek.

I knew then that he understood. That kiss was my submission to my feelings for him. Suddenly shy, I looked down at my fingers fidgeting in my lap. "Yeah, well," I answered.

He lifted up my chin with his thumb and pointer finger. "Let's try to make a habit of it, shall we?"

And then he brought his lips to mine, and we kissed again.

* * *

_A/N: hello, lovely readers! another friday and another update. okay, so my brother went to stay with my grandparents for a few days. while there, he went to a baseball game in new york city with his friend brian (for unrelated news, i had/have a crush on this kid...once. when i was little!). and they missed the bus on the way home. so brian called his parents and his dad brought brian's car to a parking lot for him to pick up. they found it and drove home. once there, brian's mom asks, "where's your father?" they had left him there. in more related news, my brother is an idiot and can't fend for himself, they got a flat tire yesterday on the highway and neither of them could fix it so they just stared at the car in the pouring rain.__  
__ahh, i do love my family dearly. hoped you all enjoyed the chapter. i'm really excited. this is a huge turning point, and i could not be more proud of lily. i hope you all are doing well, and i hope that at least one really good thing happens to you today. TTFN!__uncharmingly yours,__  
__molly_

Modern Molly Update: i love snow. i love snow days. i love not being in school. i love Friday updates. thanks for reading, everyone! you guys are all wonderful, extraordinary, beautiful people. recently, i just started posting this story at gluttonyfiction and the unknowable room to try and spread the word out that i am still writing. stop by? oh, and for any of you who want to see this story's banner, i'm going to put a link on profile page.


	11. Sneaky Snogging

_Previously on Boyfriend:__  
__I knew then that he understood. That kiss was my submission to my feelings for him. Suddenly shy, I looked down at my fingers fidgeting in my lap. "Yeah, well," I answered.__  
__He lifted up my chin with his thumb and pointer finger. "Let's try to make a habit of it, shall we?"__  
__And then he brought his lips to mine, and we kissed again._

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Eleven**

**Sneaky Snogging**

* * *

_"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." ~Albert Einstein_

* * *

I woke up on Thursday without anyone waking me up. I opened one eye and peered around my room. The sun was shining, and everything was completely silent except for a few birds chirping outside my window. I took a deep breath and savored the scent of my freshly washed sheets. I stretched my arms above my head and glanced quickly at the clock. It read 12:07 P.M.

I sighed happily. Life was good.

Leisurely, I sauntered off into the bathroom and brushed the disgusting morning taste out of my mouth with liberal amounts of mint toothpaste. Then, I combed out my hair so that it no longer resembled a small, furry rodent. It could have been either a possum or a ferret, whichever one was uglier. Finally, I washed my face. As I dried off with a towel, I looked in the mirror, and I realized I was smiling. I recognized that for the first time in a long time, I was truly and incandescently happy.

Merlin, if Hestia could see me now. Lily Evans was happy because of James Potter - and not because she had just hexed him. It really was a sign of the apocalypse. I should have sex before I die - that and get some gelato in Italy.

I skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen.

James was waiting for me at the kitchen table. I eyed him appreciatively. He had already changed into some tan shorts and, bless my soul, another button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. This boy was going to lead to my demise. He put down the muggle newspaper he was reading, ruffled his hair, and smiled at me.

I smiled back instantaneously. I felt an inexplicable attraction to him, like I was a magnet being pulled by all his positive energy. His eyes glazed over me from bottom to top, straying over a few areas for a tad too long, before his gaze reached my eyes.

"Good morning, Lily," he greeted me with a soft voice.

"Morning," I squeaked back at him. Great, he could sound all seductive and irresistible, and I sounded like a squawking hippogriff.

"Oh, Lily, you're up," I heard my mum call out.

I jumped a bit. I had been so enthralled by James that I never looked to see if anyone else was in the room. Galloping gargoyles, that was a weird sentence.

"Oh, hi, Mum," I replied back shakily.

"Hello, dear, have a seat, and I'll get you some lunch," Mum offered as she dried off her hands with a towel.

"What about breakfast?" I asked.

"You slept through breakfast," she told me.

"So?" I argued as I walked up to her at the counter. "Just because I'm a late sleeper doesn't mean I should skip meals. I like to obey all sections of the food triangle."

"And what are those sections again?" Mum taunted.

"Cupcakes, chocolate, and mint chocolate chip ice cream," I replied back cheerfully.

Mum sighed. "What do you want?" she asked in defeat.

"A peanut butter sandwich, please?" I asked sweetly.

"Fine," Mum acquiesced.

I grinned at her. "You're the best mum ever, Mum," I told her.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah," she muttered before grabbing some bread from a cabinet behind her. "Go sit down, you spoiled brat."

I grinned wider at her and then sat down next to James. He looked over his shoulder and watched my mum. I glanced too, and when she had stuffed her head into the kitchen pantry in search of peanut butter, James pulled my face to his and kissed me.

His soft lips left mine all too soon.

"Hey," he whispered to me.

"Hey," I breathed back.

My mum turned around and James swiftly pulled away from me and back into his chair. I laughed a little to myself. Oh, what a difference a day made.

James kept looking up at me the entire time I ate my sandwich. It was a little unnerving. At first, I panicked, thinking I had gotten some of my sandwich stuck to my nose. I subtly checked my reflection in a nearby spoon, and then realized he was just staring because that's what James did. However, about halfway through I decided to have a bit of fun with him and made a show of licking a bit of peanut butter off of my finger. I heard James's low, guttural groan, and I smiled wickedly.

"You are so evil," James muttered to me so that my mum wouldn't hear.

I blinked at him innocently. "What?" I asked with wide eyes.

"You know what you're doing," he said. "You know exactly what you're doing."

Sure, if I lived in bizarro world. Here, en la Casa de Evans? I was pretty much making everything up as I went along.

After all of the careful inspection I had been doing lately, I had concluded that James Potter was not pretty. He was not the picture-perfect male model with the perfect tan skin and bright blue eyes. His hair stuck up in every single direction, especially in the back. There was a slight spattering of tiny, almost invisible freckles on the right lower side of his jaw where he had some dark faded spots. His nose was not perfectly straight, and his bottom lip was thinner than his top one. He had a weird scar by his chin, and a beauty mark by his left ear, right where there was a small patch of stubble where he had forgotten to shave. His eyes, which were an undeterminable array of colors, were always filled with emotion and never seemed to dim underneath his rimmed glasses. I could see all the tiny hairs along his eyebrows that I knew Petunia probably wanted to pluck until she had drawn blood, just as she had done with mine when I was twelve.

He smirked as he noticed my stare, and I was taken aback, only for a second, by his lopsided smile. No, James Potter was not pretty. He was just….James.

"Well…" he prompted me.

I opened my slack jawed mouth, but I was saved the embarrassment of trying to scramble for words by an interruption from my mother.

"So what are you two kids up to today?"

I sat back in my chair. "I dunno. I haven't really thought about it," I told her truthfully. "Where's Tuney?"

My mum shook her head. "Who knows? That girl just grabs the keys and leaves the house at the start of every day. I know she's not a little girl anymore, but it would be nice to know where she's going and when she plans to be home. I wish she'd just have Vernon come over here instead of her driving there all the time."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "Really, Mum, more vermin in the house? How do you even fumigate that out?" I deadpanned.

Mum clicked her tongue disapprovingly at me, but I knew she was trying to hide a smile. "Well, at least we'd know where Petunia is."

"I do know where she is, Mum. She's not where I am, and that's where I like Tuney the most," I said with a bright smile.

James let out a laugh, but for my mother's benefit, he was skillfully able to turn it into a cough.

"Are you okay, James?" Mum asked him considerately.

James pounded on his chest with his fist and nodded vigorously. "I'm fine. Just a little bitterness went down the wrong pipe," he added with a gesture to his coffee mug and then with a wink at me.

I rolled my eyes. Thank Merlin my mum was far too trustworthy to look for puns.

Once assured that James was okay, my mum rounded on me again. "Really, Lily, I think you should make an effort to be nicer to your sister."

"She starts it," I complained.

Mum laughed. "And you usually finish it with that mouth of yours."

"Yeah, Lily," James taunted. "That mouth, seriously," he added dramatically.

Bloody wanker. I crossed my arms across my chest defensively. "It's not my fault that I think of better comebacks than she does."

"And it's not Petunia's fault that she was not gifted with magic," Mum reminded me wisely. "You two are going to get married and move out of the house some day," she said with a quick glance at James that made me flush with embarrassment. "And things will never be the same between you."

"Thank Merlin," I muttered under my breath.

"Blood is thicker than water," Mum quoted.

I rolled my eyes. And bubotuber pus was the thickest of all, but you didn't see me getting all cozy with it - unless you counted James, of course. He was definitely essence of bubotuber.

"If anything ever happens to your father or me, it would just be nice to know that you and Petunia would take care of each other," Mum continued sadly.

"Mum, nothing's going to happen to you or Daddy," I told her.

"You never know, Lily. Just because we're you parents that doesn't mean we're invincible."

I watched James's shoulders tighten, and I frantically changed the subject. "I'll entrust Tuney with my first born child, okay, Mum?" I asked to get her to drop it.

She grinned. "Good."

I rolled my eyes. "I bet you never tell Petunia to be nicer to me."

Mum laughed. "Normally, we just make fun of the silly robes you have to wear all the time."

Against my better judgment, a chuckle escaped my lips.

"What's wrong with robes?" asked James indignantly.

"Nothing, James," I said calmly before muttering "quirky pureblood" under my breath.

"It's just that they are a bit girly, James, especially those dress robes you have to wear."

James looked like someone had just snapped his broomstick in half. "Lily, do my dress robes make me look like a girl?" he asked with a frantic edge to his voice.

"No, James, you are the pinnacle of manliness. All other forms of testosterone should bow before you and your 'friend' Sirius," I said dryly.

"Sirius and I are not gay together," James argued.

I grinned. Finally someone who understood my side comments! Ahh, I loved having James around. "Sure, you're not."

"Worried that I'll break up with you for a bloke, love?" taunted James.

"Not in the slightest," I told James truthfully.

"Oh, James, I don't think you could ever look at anyone the way you look at Lily," Mum interrupted.

James sat up a little straighter in his seat and reverted back into fake boyfriend mode. "She's Lily," he answered her simply.

"Oh, James, if only you were a tad older. Better yet, if I was a few years younger," said Mum wistfully.

I was pretty sure my peanut butter sandwich was about to appear back on my plate.

James chortled lightly.

"Well, I should get going," Mum said. "Will you two be all right?"

Sure, right after I rip out my brain and wash it until it stops picturing my mum and my boyfriend going at it on the kitchen table. Merlin, why did this keep happening to me?

"We'll be fine," James assured her brightly. "Off to school again?"

"No, I'm actually going to surprise Henry at work. I figured I'd bring over some sandwiches, and we'd eat lunch together in his office. Are you sure you don't want me to drop you off somewhere?" Mum asked.

"We'll have plenty to do," said James. "You go on."

Mum smiled and grabbed her purse. "Don't talk to strangers, don't burn my curtains, and, Lily, make your bed for once. I don't buy the whole 'I'm only going to sleep in it again later' logic. Bye!"

I frowned. My logic made perfect sense. What was the point of making your bed when a few hours later, you were just going to get back into it. Plus, unmade beds always had warm sheets so it was like I never left.

I heard the front door close and then James turned to me. "I be t your mum and dad are going to have kinky office sex on his desk."

My mouth opened in horror. "Eww!" I screeched loudly. "Gross!" I added as I smacked him in the arm. "Why would you say that? Why in Merlin's name would you say that?"

James ducked as I attempted to hit him again. "Merlin, Lily, it was a joke!" he surrendered.

I hit him again. "Never ever make jokes like that again!" I yelped shrilly through whacks at his chest.

James's loud guffawing filled the kitchen. "Files would go everywhere!" he choked out.

My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "James Potter! You bloody prat! I'm never going to be able to close my eyes again!" I shrieked. I kept thumping him as he backed up into the hallway. We reached the stairs, and I was still shouting my head off.

Infuriatingly, this only made him laugh harder. "James, this is not funny!"

"Lily, it's ruddy hilarious," James told me. "I don't think I've ever seen you this freaked out before."

"Where you dropped on the head as a child? They're my parents!"

James chuckled. "And now they're gone," he said as the humor slowly left his tone to turn more serious. "And we've got the house all to ourselves to have our own adventures."

He walked closer to me, and I backed up against the bottom stair. "Exactly where I want you," he whispered as his breath tickled my ear when he reached back to finger my hair.

"You don't know how long I've waited to get you here," he murmured in a low, throaty voice.

I gulped. Merlin, he knew exactly what to say.

"And what's the next move, Potter?" I challenged him. I wanted my voice to sound enticing and alluring, but it really only seemed to squeak. I fidgeted with the hem of my t-shirt.

"How do you expect me to just stand still and watch you play with my shirt all week?" James asked, sounding pained.

I raised an eyebrow at him as I continued to finger the fabric. "Does this bother you?" I teased.

He groaned.

I opened my mouth to say something witty, but his hands grabbed at my thighs right where his shirt ended. I gasped, and he took the opportunity to smash his lips into mine. My fingers started at his chest and then roamed up to his hair as his traveled up and down my sides before landing on my hips. His lips were passionate and eager but not too aggressive. More than anything, however, I sensed a difference in the way he kissed me.

He was not holding anything back. This wasn't about my family or lies, and it had nothing to do with trying to win my favor. The lust was obvious, but there were also emotions behind it. James was kissing me because he wanted to. And I kissed him right back.

His lips left mine to settle on my throat. I staggered backwards, and he took the opportunity to move us up a few more stairs. "I forgot what I was going to say," I said in a breathless voice.

He paused to blow on my neck. "Then it wasn't important," he murmured back.

"Mmm," I replied as my eyes closed involuntarily. I gripped his hair tighter and brought his lips back to mine. His body moved closer to me, and we stumbled against a step. I felt James guide me backwards up the stairs.

"What are you-" I said, but I was cut off again by his lips.

Blindly bumping into walls, he half-carried me up the stairs and into the hallway before his hands became less focused on keeping me balanced and more focused on groping me senseless - not that I minded. Our lips never stopped moving, and I raked my fingernails across his scalp. A low, husky moan escaped his mouth, and he pressed me up against the bathroom door.

My breathing was labored, and I felt like a cat out in the heat as I panted loudly. My heart was beating about a hundred times a minute, and he, too, seemed to be struggling to gain control.

With wild eyes, completely tangled hair, and red lips, I had never seen James look more attractive.

"Lily," he whispered.

"Yeah, James?"

"Good morning," he told me.

I smiled. "Good afternoon," I quipped.

He rested his forehead against mine, and I felt his fingertips trace the contours of my face.

I laughed. "Didn't we just cover this in the kitchen?"

"Well, it's not like I can snog you in front of your mum," he pointed out.

I gave him an uneasy smile. Now that James and I were - whatever it was that we were - we actually had to sneak around behind my parents' back. It was almost as if I had brought a real boyfriend home for the summer.

"Merlin, I've wanted to do that for forever."

"James, we've kissed before, for about a week, in fact," I reminded him.

He kissed my temple and let his lips hover across my cheek. "Not the same."

I sighed. I knew it wasn't.

He reached out again to kiss me, but I scooted out of the way. His pout was almost enough to make me rush back to him, but I had a plan.

I leaned up and felt his shirt raise a few inches. "Well, time for a shower, I reckon."

I think James whimpered. I grinned triumphantly. "That is just not fair," he groaned.

Licking my swollen lips, I laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "And while I'm in there, you can think about your parents all alone, no annoying James, having dangerous Auror sex," I told him before I quickly sneaked into the bathroom and closed the door in his face.

I heard his manly shriek of "Gah!", and I laughed as I turned on the water.

For all intents and purposes, the only way for a teen to enjoy the thought of sex was to believe in the stork.

I both rushed and took my time with my shower. On one side of the spectrum, I wanted to get out of there quickly so James and I could snog again. And yes, I realized I had just said that. Still, I didn't want to seem too eager. I had already implied I liked him; I didn't want to give him too much too fast. His ego would overinflate. Besides, it took about a good twenty minutes, or so, with repeated thoughts about turtle migration patterns to get the image of your parents fornicating out of your head.

I hopped out of the bathroom and got dressed. I decided to wear a rather short denim skirt and a red halter top. I put my hair up so that it was off my back and swiftly did the old makeup routine. Then, I skipped over to the guest room and knocked twice.

James was at the door quickly. I would have bet ten galleons he had been waiting for me.

"Want to help me clean my room?" I offered sweetly.

"Sure," he replied with a grin and a ruffle of his hair, which looked tidier than before. I made a mental note to fix that.

We walked into my room, and I started to make my bed. James stayed behind and looked around.

I laughed. "You know, helping actually involves doing something," I teased.

"Sorry," he murmured. "Just taking it all in."

"My room or me?" I asked coquettishly as I leaned over to grab the edge of my quilt.

James folded his arms across his chest and propped himself up against my door. "The room, of course," he said obviously. "I really love the paint job. Did your dad put up the wallpaper?"

"James!"

He laughed and then walked over to my bookshelf. His fingers traced the spines of the books, and I felt a twinge of jealousy. Merlin, I was a goner.

He turned around, and I started making my bed again, not realizing that I had ever stopped.

"You have so many books," he commented.

I looked over at my bookshelf, where far too many volumes had been forced into too small of a space.

"Yeah, I guess I have a fair few."

"Few?" repeated James incredulously. "You have half the Hogwarts library in here."

I snickered. "Well, I enjoy reading, something that you might want to try every once in awhile."

"I can read," James insisted. "I just prefer doing things that are less passive."

I turned back to my bed and pulled my quilt over the other side of the mattress. Of course James did not need fiction. His own life was like a bloody fantasy story. He could do magic and fly broomsticks and he was even best friends with a werewolf. James had never needed to escape because his own life was already fantastic. Fluffing my pillow, I wondered if by being a part of his life I, too, would never need fiction.

"Not that I don't admire your intelligence, Lily," James backtracked. "I always thought you had the brains - and the beauty, of course," he added with a lopsided grin.

I rolled my eyes. Bloody charmer. "And what are you, the jester?"

He placed his hand on his heart dramatically. "Lily!" he cried.

"Oh, don't even," I told him.

He dropped his hand and then winked roguishly at me. "So do you have your own private Restricted Section?"

My brain automatically jumped to the bed in front of me. But, bloody no! He was talking about books. What in Merlin's name was wrong with me? My face heated up. "No," I answered.

Gah, I squeaked again! I should just swallow a rubber ducky and be done with it.

James came over and stood behind me. His fingertips danced across my bare shoulders.

"So this isn't forbidden? Madame Pince isn't going to come in at any moment and chase me out of here?"

I took a deep breath. "Not if you plan to check something out."

"Does it have to be a book?" he asked suggestively.

I rolled my eyes and turned around. "I gave you that one," I said.

James shrugged. "Who doesn't love the occasional library pick-up line?"

I chuckled and reached over to fix his collar, which was slightly crooked.

"Lily, I don't want to push you. I know I screwed it up before, and I don't want to make the same mistake again."

"Do you hear me protesting?"

"No, but—"

I pulled his face to mine. "James, just buy the damn book already." And then I kissed him.

He adhered to my request eagerly. "But, Miss Evans, I don't have any money on me," he teased while I caught my breath.

"James, shut up."

He grinned and then reached out to kiss me again. My hands wound into his hair as his played with the straps of my halter at the back of my neck.

"I really like your top," he whispered.

"James," I warned.

"Shutting up now," he promised.

His lips returned, and he allowed me to stick my tongue into his mouth. Okay, that sounded a tad gross. But it wasn't. It was definitely not gross.

He guided me backwards so that I was lying on my bed. I discovered that James's body was very warm and that he was also very heavy. He propped himself up on his elbows so that I could still feel his weight, but not as much.

With one hand at my hip, he used his other to release my wet hair from its bun. His objective achieved, James tore his lips away and attacked my neck with kisses as his nose assaulted my hair. Distracted, James did not notice that I was beginning to unbutton his shirt until my fingernail grazed his chest. He hissed in pleasure and then brought his lips back to mine.

I moaned into his mouth when his own fingers began to trace the skin at my hips underneath my halter. The sound inspired him to deepen our kiss even more, and it took me a few seconds to remember that I had to continue my goal. Finally, I unbuttoned his last button and tugged on his shirt. Understanding my desire, James pulled back, much to my protesting mouth, and then shrugged out of his shirt.

I smiled appreciatively, and he smirked at me.

My fingers, shaking with anticipation, reached out to trail down his chest. I could remember the first time I had wanted to do that two years ago when he had stripped off his shirt after Gryffindor beat Slytherin for the Cup. I had never told anyone about that, but if I was really bored in class one day, I'd remember what his chest, covered in a light sheen of sweet, had looked like. The one before me had grown more muscular with maturity. "I love Quidditch," I told him with a sigh.

James kissed me, and I could feel him chuckle beneath my lips. Then, suddenly, he flipped us over so that I was on top of him.

"Nice," I commented breathlessly.

James grinned. "I try."

We continued snogging each other's faces off until I heard a knock on my door. I untangled myself from James and then sat up. My halter nearly fell down. I reached up and lifted the straps behind my neck.

"When did you untie these?" I asked him as I quickly secured them behind my neck.

Obviously pleased with himself, James smirked. "A little while ago. You were too busy trying to breathe to notice."

"Lily!" I heard my mum call from behind the door.

"Just a second!" I yelled back frantically. I found James's abandoned shirt on the floor. "Put that back on," I hissed at him.

James scrambled to get up off the bed and put his shirt back on. His fingers fumbled with the buttons, and I rushed over to help him.

"Faster, James," I whispered to him.

He stopped to smirk at me.

My eyes widened as comprehension dawned. "Not now, Potter! My mum is right there!"

"Then, later maybe?"

"Lily!" Mum called.

"James," I warned.

"Lily," he said back with a smile.

I struggled with an obstinate button.

"Lily!" Mum yelled again as she opened the door.

I froze. "Oh, Lily, there you are. I thought something had happened." She eyed James, and I suddenly became very conscious of the fact that I was still only halfway done with buttoning his shirt. I put my hands down, took a large step away from him, and felt my face redden.

"Lily?" she asked.

"Hey, Mum," I answered in what I hoped sounded like a breezy tone.

"What are you two doing?"

I bit my lip nervously. "We, ahh, well-" I stuttered.

"Lily was checking me for nargles," James interrupted.

I fought the urge to slap myself in the face.

"What's a nargle?" Mum asked suspiciously.

"Magic flies, basically," James answered. "Incredibly itchy if they bite you."

Yeah, you had to buy the special invisible lotion for the bugs that didn't exist. Ruddy idiot. But wait! Mum didn't know that. Genius!

"Right," replied Mum, sounding skeptical. "Lily, you remember that talk we had the other day, right? Anything you want to tell me about?"

Obviously not. Mum apparently had a Lily Sexdar. James and I were never going to be alone now. Not that I wanted to have sex with James….much. I glanced at him, and James winked at me.

"Lily?" Mum pressed.

"No!" I squeaked.

She sighed in relief. "Good." She looked behind me. "I thought I told you to make your bed."

"I did!" I protested before I turned to look. The sheets were all rumpled and scattered, and my quilt was only covering one side. Both pillows were dangerously close to falling on the floor. "Err, I guess I need more practice," I offered lamely.

"Why don't the two of you come downstairs with me," Mum said firmly.

"Did you and Mr. Evans have fun?" James asked excitedly with a side glance at me.

Oh, Merlin, I was going to kill him - if I didn't throw up all over him first.

Mum watched us like a hawk in the kitchen and throughout dinner. Apparently, that didn't stop James from letting his hand drift further and further up my thigh throughout the meal. It wasn't altogether unpleasant - quite the opposite, really - but I didn't exactly want to make weird sounds in front of my parents. My mum's lasagna was good, but it wasn't that good.

"Petunia, what did you do today?" my dad asked after swallowing a big bit of lasagna, his favorite.

Petunia pushed her food around her plate. "Vernon's family had a golf event at their country club."

My father forced a smile. "And did you have fun, hun?"

"It was fine," she answered back.

"Sounds riveting," I muttered into my glass of grape juice.

"I didn't know Vernon golfed," my mum said.

Petunia smiled. "He's very good. He usually has the lowest score out of everyone," she gushed.

I rolled my eyes. I was sure Vermin was subpar in many areas.

"Maybe he'd like to explain some of it to me later," Dad offered. "I've never really had an interest for it, but I guess I could like it if I learned the game."

My father was too nice. He despised golf. He once told me he thought it was just a contest for who had the nicest, biggest, greenest lawn. There was no way he'd get enjoyment out of being driven around in a golf cart all day as some poor bloke carried his bag of irons. Vernon, however…

"Now, James, speaking of sports, I still want to know more about Quidditch," Dad said with more excitement. He put down his fork and twiddled his fingers anxiously in front of him.

James's hand tensed on my skin at the sound of his name. I took a deep breath.

"Sure, Mr. Evans. We can play a bit tomorrow. I'll send my owl home tonight for a few more brooms."

My dad's face broke out into a huge smile. He'd always been fascinated with flying. When I was little, we used to drive out to a clearing, and he'd fly remote control planes. "I'll make sure to come home from work early," he replied happily.

I grinned at James thankfully, and he smiled back at me crookedly. His hand reached the hem of my skirt and slowly began to inch underneath it.

I kicked him in the shin.

"Ow!" he yelped.

"James!" Mum exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

James took a long sip of his water and pulled his hand firmly on top of the table. "Fine," he choked out weakly.

"Was it the nargles, again?" she asked worriedly.

"What's a nargle?" Dad asked her.

James glanced over at me accusingly, and I smirked at him. He leaned over and kissed my shoulder while my parents were busy talking.

Petunia rolled her eyes. I grinned at her, and she huffed in her chair.

It was good to know that some things never changed.

"Dinner was really excellent, Mrs. Evans," James complimented.

My mum blushed prettily. "Thank you, James," she cooed.

My dad caught my eye and rolled his eyes. I smiled at him.

"Lily, would you mind doing the dishes tonight?" my mum asked.

I groaned, but my dad shot me a pleading look. "Fine," I grumbled.

Damn dishes. Of course I would get stuck with the cheese-coated lasagna pan.

"I'll help her," volunteered James.

"Oh, thanks, James," gushed my mum.

Bloody hell. Where was my gratitude? Merlin, it wasn't like I was her own daughter, or anything.

"You too, Lils," said Dad quickly. He must have sensed an eruption about to explode from the head of Mt. Lily.

He grabbed his plate and got out of his seat before helping my mother out of her chair. As he walked by me he clapped his hand onto my shoulder supportively. "Thanks, baby girl," he whispered quietly so Mum wouldn't overhear.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

He laughed and then walked out of the kitchen with my mum. Petunia left, as well, but not before silently projecting her disapproval around the way a skunk would spray an entire room. Vaguely, I wondered what would happen if I doused Tuney in tomato juice.

Chuckling to myself, I grabbed my plate and brought it to the dishwasher.

James came up from behind me. "Dirty," he whispered.

I raised an eyebrow at him dubiously.

"The plates, I mean," he amended with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course," I replied.

I walked over to the table and grabbed another dish. "You are incorrigible," I told him.

"And you like it," he pushed with a smile.

I turned on the faucet and squeezed some soap out onto the lasagna pan. "Sure," I replied flippantly.

"Oh, come on, Evans, admit it," James pleaded teasingly.

I shook my head as I used a rough sponge to try to get the grease out of the corner of the pan. "Snogging you's the worst," I told him dramatically.

James walked over to me with a bowl of grated cheese in his hand. "Liar," he quipped.

I shook my head. "Nope," I argued with an emphasis on the "P."

"I guess I need more practice then," he said roughly before quickly turning off the water and pulling my lips to his.

I dropped my sponge, and it hit the floor with a loud _thwop_, but I barely even noticed. My hands clutched his collar as I dragged him closer to me. I was getting his neck all soapy, but I didn't care. His mouth still tasted like sauce.

I had kicked off my shoes before dinner, and now we were suffering from a rather large height difference. He craned his back down, but it was still a tad awkward. I pushed up on my toes as I attempted to reach his face, but it only resulted in me falling back into the counter. Sensing the problem, James grabbed my hips and pulled me onto the kitchen counter. As my lips moved to his jaw, I hesitantly let my legs graze his torso. James's breathing was coming out in rapid bursts, and I was reveling in the fact that I was affecting him as much as he was affecting me. I tightened my legs around his back, and James's breathing stopped altogether. I stopped to look at him.

I laughed a little at his awed expression. "Aren't you supposed to be proving your prowess to me, Potter?" I teased.

In one fluid motion, James slipped his hands underneath my shirt's hem to rest on my hip and started kissing me again. My hands automatically reached for his hair as he started sucking on my bottom lip.

"Merlin, James," I breathed.

I could feel him smirking into the kiss before he slipped his tongue into my mouth. I gasped as he roamed my mouth in a series of rhythms that made my head spin with the-

"Lily, what do you-Gah!" a voiced called.

I froze as James instantly removed his hands, which had been dangerously close to my strapless bra, and backed away from me like I had the plague.

I looked up. "Daddy?" I called.

"Oh, um, I, I didn't, um—" stammered my poor, poor father.

"Mr. Evans, sir, we were just, uh - " said James, who, for once, looked at a loss for words as he guiltily tugged at his disarrayed hair.

"Waiting for the lasagna pan to soak," I finished meekly.

My dad pinched the bridge of his nose, and I could see his lips counting backwards from ten.

I looked down and saw that my shirt had ridden halfway up my stomach. I yanked it down hastily as my face flooded with embarrassment.

Dad sighed and then opened his eyes. "Lily, why don't you go run up to your room? I'm going to have a talk with James." It wasn't a question. I could tell from the forced strain in his voice and the throbbing vein in his forehead that he wasn't exactly inviting James for a cup of tea. Merlin, if he killed James just when things were getting good…

I grimaced before nodding and, to my immense mortification, hopping off of the kitchen counter that James and I had defiled with our snogging. My poor father. We made our food on that counter!

I tried to give James a reassuring smile as I exited the kitchen, but he looked too dumbfounded with fear to see it. I ran up to my room and turned up my muggle radio to keep out any dulcet death threats coming from the kitchen.

Oh, bloody hell! My father had just caught me snogging my boyfriend senseless. I meant my fake boyfriend. Only, nothing about that had been faked. Merlin, this was all so confusing. If snogging James wasn't so ruddy electrifying and if he didn't kiss so bloody well, it would never be worth it.

Flopping face first onto my bed, I continued to relive the sensation of James kissing me for some time as I waited for my dad to bury the body. I already missed the calluses in his hands, the warmth of his breath, and the blazing feeling of his skin on mine. Every time he touched me, I felt like some sort of fire was burning inside me. Was this normal? Had I just never been snogged before? Was it always like this? Or was James some kind of master of the art? Or was it just James?

I walked over to Callie's cage and brushed her wing with my finger. She hooted at me, and I unlocked her cage and opened my window for her. She deserved to have some fun.

At around midnight, I sneaked out of my room, half expecting my father to have dead bolted it from the outside. Of course, I could have just used magic to find my way out, but it would have been something sweet my father would do in a vain attempt to protect my virtue. Foolishly, he gave me too much credit, and there were no traps hindering me from meeting James outside by the swings.

James was sitting on a swing with his head in his hands. I approached him cautiously. "I apologize for anything my father might have said to you," I announced.

James looked up. He didn't have any bruises, thank Merlin—not that my father was a vicious man, but I was his baby girl, and James was the bloke sticking his tongue down my throat.

James let out a sarcastic breath.

"Was it really that bad?" I asked him.

"It was what could have been expected. I'm sure he had gotten quite a visual, and we weren't exactly being quiet."

I frowned. "We're loud?" I asked.

James chuckled faintly. "You're loud," he corrected me.

My face turned a little pink. "But everything's okay, right?"

James nodded. "As long as I 'keep my hands to myself and never hurt one hair on his baby girl's head, he won't need to pummel me into oblivion,'" he quoted.

I rolled my eyes. "That sounds like Dad." I sat down next to James and peered over at him. He looked worried. "James, this wasn't your fault. I seem to remember snogging you back - quite enthusiastically, in fact."

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards. He leaned over to play with my hair and push a stray piece over to one side.

"James," I said again, but his focus was on my hair. I sighed. I couldn't believe he was going to make me say it. "James, when I kiss you now, it's not because I'm trying to prove something to my family. I do it because I want to because you're sort of a decent bloke - when you're not being a git, of course," I added jokingly.

James laughed and finally lifted his gaze to meet mine. "Lily, I really don't want to break my promise to your father. I love your family."

"Even Tuney?" I asked.

James grinned impishly. "Especially Tuney. And Vernon? I think we're like brothers now," he added melodramatically.

"It's so good to know you boys bonded," I deadpanned.

He ruffled his hair. "I don't want to breakup with you," James whispered.

"You mean before we leave for Hogwarts?" I asked.

He nodded with sad eyes. "I just don't want them to think badly of me. They've been so nice, and I feel like whatever would need to happen would ruin their opinion of me forever."

I sighed. "Knowing my mother, she'd probably blame me for the breakup, regardless," I growled.

"Yeah, but your dad wouldn't," sighed James. "I just don't want to let him down. He's a really great guy, and I respect him as a father. He loves you so much, Lily."

I fidgeted with my hands in my lap and then took a deep breath. "We don't have to….you know," I told him shakily.

"What?"

"Break up," I squeaked. Merlin, could my voice just stay steady for once?

"Really?" James asked me hopefully.

I looked at his excited eyes and optimistic smile. How could I deny him now? "Sure," I squeaked again. I coughed to sort out my annoying voice. "I mean, then we'd never have to hurt their feelings. They are very emotional people. Plus, my mum loves you far too much."

James grinned. "I'm taken."

I rolled my eyes. Cheesy, romantic, adorable prick. "That is, if you don't mind staying for the whole two weeks."

James pulled my hair back again. "I think I could manage it," he said softly.

I bit my lip nervously.

"Besides, I want to see how this whole Vernon thing pans out," he joked to ease the tension.

It worked. I laughed.

James cupped my face with his hand. "Your lips are all swollen from snogging," he told me.

"Yours are too," I replied as I glanced at his red lips that were moving closer to mine.

"Do you reckon your dad will notice if I kiss you? He doesn't have one of those muggle guns or anything, right?"

"Would that stop you?" I asked.

James smiled crookedly. "No," he whispered before kissing me.

I sighed into his mouth. Everything was okay with the world when I was kissing James Potter.

* * *

_A/N: hello, my beautiful (inside and out) readers. first, i must say, i am a little proud of myself for getting this chapter out today. just yesterday, i had like 500 words written. this has been a horrendous week. but i refused to let you all down (it is friday, after all). and more importantly, it is harry's (and the lovely j.k. rowling's) birthday. and how could i not update on such a momentous day? especially when i made me yearly birthday cake for harry? (chocolate cake, chocolate frosting, green letters, charming). __  
__and now, my family. my little sister has a weird fascination with making fun of the color of my dad's boxers. so the other day she asks him, "dad, are you wearing your grays?" and he said, "nope, reds." and then my older brother comments, "i'm wearing my balls." (he has boxers with baseballs on them). oh my.__  
__anyways. thank you all so very much for all of your wonderful feedback. and i really hope you liked the chapter. i realize that the majority of it was snogging (was it written well? i wonder). but i think that's where lily and james are right now in their ever-progressing relationship. enjoy the rest of your week!__  
__wishingly yours,__  
__molly_

Modern Molly Update: hola, chicas! god, this chapter had a lot of snogging in it. makes you kinda want to throw up. do you know what it's like to like someone a lot? how just the few seconds their eyes wander over to you mean everything in the whole world? that's basically what i'm dealing with right now. i like him so much-i spend a great deal of my time thinking about him. shouldn't there be a rule saying that the guy you like should have to talk to you for a minimum of five minutes per day? even if it's just to have something new to obsess about? it's amazing how something so little can affect so much…..


	12. Flying Lessons

___Previously on Boyfriend:__  
__"Would that stop you?" I asked.__  
__James smiled crookedly. "No," he whispered before kissing me.__  
__I sighed into his mouth. Everything was okay with the world when I was kissing James Potter._

* * *

**Chapter Twelve **

**Flying Letters**

* * *

_"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself." - Roseanne Barr_

* * *

"Mmm."

Frowning at the painful image still hazily floating inside my head, I hugged my pillow closer as I snuggled my face into my sheets. My eyes drooped with drowsiness.

"Lily."

I tossed and turned as my head found refuge on the other side of the bed. The hard, crisp feel of sheets. It was all a dream.

"Lily."

Shush. This was sleep time. Be quiet, pillow.

"Come on, Lily."

I groaned. I didn't want to get up. My bed was too warm, and my talking pillow was still so soft.

"Wake up."

I hissed and grumbled as I felt hands tapping my side. I squirmed out of the way, but the tugging returned.

"Lily!"

I remembered foggily that pillows didn't have hands or mouths-usually. There must have been someone else in my room. I forced one bleary eye open groggily.

A familiar face was peering down at me anxiously.

"Mum?" I called out.

"Yes, Lily," she answered me back without lowering her voice.

_Didn't she realize that people were sleeping? How rude! _

_"_Wake up!"

"It's too early," I groaned as I stuffed my face back into my pillow.

"It's eleven!" she replied in exasperation.

"Too early," I grunted. "Come back tomorrow."

"Lily!"

"Lily's closed," I murmured into my pillow.

"Yeah, well, I'm the Mum. I don't have to follow hour schedules," she told me forcefully.

Then, I sensed her hands as they yanked my pillow out from under my face, and I felt my nose hit the mattress and bounce back and forth in response. I muttered something unintelligible with slurred expletives under my breath.

Angrily, I flipped over and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. "What?" I growled.

My mum shot me a dirty look. "It's time to wake up, young lady."

I sat up slightly and pulled at my unruly tendrils. "Sorry, Mum, I was having a weird dream."

Her forehead crinkled with worry. "What was it about?"

"I don't remember," I lied. I grimaced as I recalled the stomping of feet, the frustrated man's screams, the flash of green light, the cackling, the feeling of emptiness inside of me. I took a deep breath. It had only been a dream. Still, I felt like I had dreamt it once before.

Mum sat down next to me on my bed. "You okay, Lily?" she asked as she pressed her hand to my forehead. "Do you feel sick?"

I opened my mouth to answer her, but she continued without my reply. "You don't have a temperature. Maybe I could call Dr. Schooster and set up an appointment."

I swatted her arm away and rolled my eyes dramatically. "Mum, quit worrying. You'll give yourself even more gray hair. I'm fine."

She pulled at her hair anxiously. "Do the roots show? I knew I shouldn't have waited the extra week to make the appointment. It's just that you and your sister give me all of this stress."

I chuckled. "You look fine, Mum."

"Really?"

"Like a freshly picked daisy," I told her sweetly.

"Good," replied Mum, pacified. Her eyes narrowed. "Now, young lady, would you mind explaining to me why your father found you and James snogging on my kitchen counter?" she asked pointedly.

My face flushed, and I pulled the covers up over my head. Now I was going to be sick.

"Mum!" I yelped.

"Lily," she replied back obviously as she pulled the covers down to look at my red face.

"He told you!" I squeaked.

She bit back a laugh. "Of course he told me. Your father can't keep a secret to save his life. Besides, marriage is about honest communication," she told me. "That and spying on your kids," she added with a laugh.

I ducked my head back down in embarrassment. Just when I thought my life could not have gotten any more mortifying. I might as well just show up to the Hogwarts Express naked. Maybe then I could finally reverse this rubbish pattern.

"Is Daddy really angry?" I asked her worriedly.

Mum shrugged and patted my leg caringly. "He was a little shocked, but I wouldn't call it anger-well, maybe a bit directed at James."

I bit my lip. "I can't believe Daddy threatened my boyfriend." Fake or real or in between, it was still pathetically humiliating.

Mum brushed her elbow into my side as she laughed a bit. "Your father couldn't scare a butterfly. Hell, they scare him!"

I chuckled as I recalled what was labeled the "Flutter Incident" from 1972. Somehow, Dad had managed to get himself stuck in his own butterfly net. I didn't know what was more pitiable: the fact that he got himself in that situation or that he had actually donned hunting gear-complete with the floppy hat-for the occasion.

"Dad is a bit of a baby when it comes to some things," I acknowledged.

"A bit?" Mum pressed with a laugh.

I chuckled. "Okay, a lot," I acquiesced.

"Mmm," she mused as her fingers began to braid the back of my hair, an act she had performed since I was very little. My mum and I would just talk and talk, and I'd always end up with a long braid going down my back. "But he does want to protect his baby girl," she told me.

"I hate feeling like I'm letting him down," I told her as I looked down at my hands fidgeting in my lap.

"How so?" pressed Mum, gently pulling back a few strands.

I bit my lip. I hated getting older. I hated that I was too big to sit on his lap. I hated that all of my problems couldn't be solved with a quick kiss and a band-aid. I hated that I left my family behind for nine months out of the year, and I hated even more that I didn't know which half of me I loved more. Most of all, I hated that I couldn't be my father's baby girl forever.

I sighed. "By growing up," I answered finally.

My mum chortled as she tugged a little tighter on my hair. "Oh, Lily," she said with amusement. "You have to grow up sometime. It's all a part of life."

"Well, life stinks," I told her.

She giggled again. "Wanna trade places? I'd be a teenager with a boyfriend like James any day."

I straightened up. "No, that's okay!" I told her quickly.

Mum laughed, and I caught myself smiling at the sound. "That's what I thought."

We were silent for a few moments, except for some of Mum's soft humming, as she continued to fix my hair. "I know I shouldn't bring this up because it didn't go over so well the last time, but you and James are being, err, prudent, right?"

I rolled my eyes at the anxious strain of her voice and focused all of my energy on keeping my face from reddening. It didn't work. I went from vanilla to strawberry in one sentence. She hadn't even mentioned the word sex! Oh, there it was: fire engine red.

"Yes!" I squeaked.

She didn't say anything, but I felt her sigh of relief into my hair. "It's just that I've noticed that there's something different about you two."

I bit my lip. Damn her observant tendencies!

"Did you two do anything special lately?" Mum asked.

"No," I squeaked. I coughed loudly to clear my throat. "We just came to an understanding about how we feel about each other."

"Oh," replied Mum, trying to understand.

"I acknowledged that I didn't completely despise his existence."

Mum laughed. "And that was a good thing for you two?"

I chuckled at the irony. "Yes," I replied cheekily.

Mum sighed. "Fine, I'll butt out. Just do me a favor, Lily, and try to be a bit more discreet next time," she advised me. "Your father and I used to sneak out to snog on his porch, but it seems you and James are more fond of the swings."

I froze. "Mum!"

She laughed. "Don't worry. I won't tell your father. I'd hate for you to miss out on goodnight kisses. Your father was always so good at those. I remember this one time when-"

I plastered my hands over my ears. La la la la. I wasn't listening. Potions, pumpkin juice, chicken, Hagrid, Forbidden Forest, curfew, Astronomy Tower, snogging, my parents!

I grimaced in pain. "Mum, you are ruining hormones for me," I interrupted her reminiscing.

She grinned wickedly. "Aha! So my master plan is working," she exclaimed.

I let my head droop down as I pulled my covers up to my chin. "I think it's time to go back to bed," I told her.

Mum shook her head and then got up to walk towards the door. "By the way," she said with a grin. "There's a big, tawny owl for you downstairs. I think it was carrying a letter from a school of some sort," she finished with a knowing expression on her face.

I threw off my sheets and shot up out of bed before nearly sprinting to the door.

Mum scoffed. "Now you're out of bed."

"Why didn't you say something before?" I screeched.

"Why is it that you're always so prompt about anything concerning school?" she countered. "Isn't our family hopping-out-of-bed worthy?"

I frowned. She was right. At school, I woke up every morning at exactly seven A.M. I had a strict routine, and I stuck to it. I never wasted time lounging around or sleeping till noon. I was always studying or doing something for a professor or going on patrols. My time was scheduled, allotted. Even as a person, I was different. At Hogwarts, I was Lily Evans, perfect student. At home, I was Lily Evans, complete slob.

I didn't have to answer my mum's question, though, because I was already down the stairs and racing into the kitchen. I halted my clumsy feet when I reached the table.

"Oh, good, you're up," said James with an enormously silly smile on his face as he walked over to me.

I rolled my eyes a bit at his enthusiasm, but after he pressed me body up against his, ran his hands from my waist up to my face, and planted a soft kiss on my lips, I had an idiotically giddy grin of my own.

"Mmm," I voiced as his lips left mine. The perfect greeting.

His eyes shot straight to me as I made the sound, and they looked like they were struggling with something. The green was fighting the gold for control over his irises today.

James's thumb traced the side of my face before he backed away. I couldn't help but to pout a little at the distance.

"You are not making this easy for me," said James huskily.

I sucked in a breath as I eyed his form, clad in tight jeans and a white t-shirt with cut-off sleeves that showed far too much of his bicep for me to think clearly. "Is that really such a bad thing?" I asked.

James's hand went straight for his hair. "Your mum will be down soon," he reminded me, but I could see his resolve weakening.

I leaned forward to kiss him one more time. I memorized the feeling of his hair in my fingertips, smiled into his warm lips, and sighed into his fresh scent. Again, all too soon, he pulled away.

I sighed. As much as I wanted to, I didn't want to have another parent walk in on us. I didn't think my complexion could take one more talk from Mum. Merlin, I wished we had more privacy.

James seemed to sense my disappointment. He reached over to the table and grabbed a parchment letter before offering it to me. "Here, Lily. I didn't open mine yet. I wanted to wait until you woke up."

"That was kind of sweet," I told him.

He smiled lopsidedly at me. "I was hoping you'd think that and then let me snog you later."

I laughed. "Is that all you think about?" I asked, not bothering to acknowledge that the subject was often on my mind. Quite frequently.

James distracted me from my question by waving my letter in front of my face.

I eagerly took it from his hand. My fingers traced over the green address with excitement. Carefully, as to not rip the parchment, I broke the red Hogwarts seal and opened the letter. Quickly, I removed the thick, golden parchment inside. My fingers hit something hard and smooth. I pulled that out, as well, and examined the large "HG" engraved onto it.

"Smehkaleen," I breathed in barely a whisper as I dropped everything but the badge onto the table. "EEEE!" I screeched as I clutched it to my chest. I pulled it back so that I could look at it again.

I eyed the badge reverently as astonishment turned into realization, which turned into giddiness. After years and years of endless nights in the library, tutoring younger students, Prefect patrols, volunteering in the Hospital Wing, attending awful Slug Club parties, and pushing myself to take notes even during the most dreadfully dull of History of Magic classes, I was Head Girl. I smiled. I, the muggleborn redhead that was constantly the butt of Slytherin jokes, had finally proven myself as deserving. I was the best witch in the school. I was Head Girl. Smehka-suck on that-leen.

"MUM!" I screamed excitedly. "MUM!"

I heard a thundering of footsteps as she flew down the stairs. "Lily! Lily, what's the matter?" she called as she ran to join me in the kitchen.

I thrusted my new shiny badge out in front of her eyes. "Mum, I got Head Girl!"

Elated, I watched her face transform from harried and overprotective to excited and joyful. She smiled hugely at me as her arms scooped me into an embrace. "God, Lily, that's fantastic!" she congratulated me.

I hugged her back eagerly as I felt happiness flow through my body like the blood in my veins. She pulled back to look at my face.

"Oh, Lily, I'm so proud of you!" she exclaimed happily. "You've been talking about this for so long! This is a big honor, right?"

I couldn't even muster the sarcasm to roll l my eyes. I was too bloody jolly. "Yep! The biggest!"

She reached out to hug me again. "Oh, Lily! I can't wait to tell your father! We'll have a big dinner tonight just for you. I'll make you whatever you want. Oh, Lily, I'm so happy for you!"

I grinned at her. Merlin, I loved my mum. "Thanks, Mum!" I told her gleefully.

"Let me see your badge again!"

We oohed and ahhed over it for a while. It was just so shiny.

After a few moments, I tore my eye away from the glimmering badge to look at James. I hadn't noticed it before, but he had been completely silent throughout this entire process. Hadn't he heard me? I was Head Girl! He should have been cheering or snogging me senseless or something! Yet, all he was doing was staring at something in his hand like it was a box of mutilated inferi fingers. I looked over, but his fingers were blocking my view.

"James?" I asked, my voice sounding slightly breathless from all the happiness, "What are you staring at?"

Shakily, he turned his focus away from his hand, and I noticed that his face had turned slightly green. What was it? Had Dumbledore finally tallied up the amount of detentions he'd had over the years and decided to expel him?

"James?" I repeated.

He gulped and held out his hand to show me the object he was clutching with white knuckles: a big shiny badge with the letters "HB" on it.

My smile disappeared.

"WHAT?" I screamed shrilly.

"Lily!" my mum scolded me.

I blinked. "What?" I called again with less volume.

James glanced at me squeamishly before staring back at the badge.

"How did you get one of those?" I demanded accusingly.

"I have no idea," he choked out.

"Has Dumbledore lost his mind?" I asked melodramatically. "Why in Merlin's name would he make you Head Boy, Potter?"

My mum frowned at me. "Now, Lily, that's not very nice. James is a lovely boy."

I gawked at her. Lovely boy? Had she even met James Potter? He was a Marauder! "But he wasn't even a Prefect!" I exclaimed. "What about Remus?"

James's eyes sparked at the name. "Oh, Merlin. Remus," James groaned forlornly as he dropped his head miserably.

"Who's Remus?" Mum asked.

"He was a Gryffindor Prefect with me," I told her. "I thought for sure that he was going to be Head Boy."

"Oh!" she replied. "Is he the one that Hestia complains about all the time? The one with the leather jacket?"

"No," I corrected. "That's Sirius."

"Oh! Yes! The boy who likes cheese."

"No, that's Peter."

Mum sighed. "Well, which one is Remus then?"

"The good-looking one," I answered.

James broke away from his thoughts to eye me with outrage. "Oi!" he yelled.

I grinned cheekily at him. "My statement still stands."

"Isn't he the one you had a crush on for a while? I used to remember you sending letters all the time about this one boy who irritated you to death because of his hair."

I dipped my head in embarrassment. "No, that was James," I corrected in a quiet voice.

The git smirked.

"There is no way that you're Head Boy, Potter," I told him as I grabbed his letter. Frenetically, I pulled out the parchment and started reading.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to be the…._

My eyes widened, and I dropped the parchment in shock. "I can't believe it."

James ruffled his hair with his hand nervously. "Me neither," he agreed. "Dumbledore's bonkers," he added in an awed voice.

"How'd he even know you were here?" I questioned.

"Merlin," breathed James.

"You two are acting so weird," Mum interrupted us. "I've never seen a pair of teenagers more awestruck by a badge before. Why aren't you more excited? Now you get to work together!" She moved over to James and gave him a big motherly hug. "Way to go, James! I'm so proud of you!"

He was smiling a hesitant smile as they separated. His hand went back to his hair. "Yeah, I suppose it's kinda good."

"Good?" echoed Mum incredulously. "This is marvelous! You're both going to Head together."

I stifled a snicker at the double entendre. Merlin, my brain must soak in essence of pervert over night, or something. I wasn't alone, however. I noticed the very tips of James's ears had turned pink.

"Oh!" she continued happily. "Now we have to have an even bigger dinner. I'll make a celebratory feast for you two. Henry's coming home early, and I'll make sure Petunia brings Vernon over."

Awesome. Nothing said celebration like Jonah and the whale.

"That's great, Mum," I said.

"Yeah, fantastic, Mrs. Evans," offered James.

"Lily, you run upstairs and get dressed," ordered Mum. "James and I will talk menu options."

I grabbed my letter with one hand and my badge with the other. Before leaving the kitchen, I caught James's eye. We would be talking about this more later.

I couldn't believe he got Head Boy. James was such a troublemaker! He was the leader of the Marauders. I mean, sure, he had led the Gryffindor Quidditch team to victory as Captain, and he had top marks-even, I remembered sourly, beating me on the Transfiguration O.W.L. Plus, all of the students really seemed to respect and admire him. I supposed he probably would make a decent Head Boy if he took it seriously. In fact, except for his lack of Prefect experience, James was a very worthwhile candidate. Drat! Curse logic!

Still, poor Remus. I had been so sure it was going to be him.

Climbing up the last stair, I pushed all of the unpleasant thoughts from my mind as I took another look at my shiny badge. At least they had made the right choice there.

"Oof!"

I backed away from the bony girl I had stumbled blindly into.

"Watch where you're going, freak," spat Petunia, fixing her askew shirt.

"Sorry, Tuney," I apologized brightly, still ecstatic from my news. "Isn't it such a good morning?" I asked her.

She scowled darkly. "It's about 12:30 in the afternoon," she corrected dryly.

I grinned wider. "The perfect time for the perfect news."

"Charming," she snarled as she tried to pass me.

"Guess what!" I asked her.

Petunia rolled her eyes. "What?"

I shoved my badge up to her eyes. "I got Head Girl!"

Petunia picked off a piece of imaginary lint from his top. "So, now you're like, what, the head of the freaks?" she deadpanned.

"Exactly!"

She snickered. "Go figure."

I frowned. "Come on, Tuney, this is great news!"

I wanted her to be happy for me. I wanted her to hug me like Mum had. I wanted her to tell me she was proud of me. I wanted her to do anything besides what she was doing now: glowering at me disdainfully.

"Why would I care about you and your stupid school?" she snapped.

"Well, I just thought you'd be happy for me."

She sneered. "God, Lily. Being appointed Head Freak is not something I'd exactly want to shout off the rooftops. Why can't you ever try being normal for once?"

I grinded my teeth together. "Why can't you ever just accept me for who I am?"

"Because you're a freak!"

Fury ignited in the pit of my stomach. It was like a dragon awakening from a hundred year slumber. "Well, so are you! We're all freaks! Especially your bloody whale of a boyfriend who never shuts up about drills!"

"Don't bring Vernon into this!"

"Why not?" I asked with a humorless laugh. I inched closer to her so that she had to back up against the wall. "Why are you even dating him anyway? He's the biggest prat ever-pun intended!"

"You don't know him!" she shrieked.

"I guess I dodged a bullet there, then. Are you that afraid of magic that you picked the most boring bloke on the planet?"

"You shut up about him, Lily," Petunia threatened, but I didn't care.

"Or are you just jealous that I got the magic genes, and you didn't?"

_Smack._

Tears that I refused to let fall formed in my eyes as I clutched the side of my face. I hadn't been expecting that. I hadn't even seen her hand.

The fury rose up again.

I pulled out my wand from under James's shirt and pointed it straight at her jugular. I watched Petunia's big blue eyes widen with fear.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!" I growled at her.

She whimpered, and I pulled back my wand. I stepped backwards in disgust-at both her and myself. I could barely recall all the times Petunia and I had scratched each other or pulled hair or engaged in girly catfights. But this was worst. In my mind, I laughed ironically. It was a slap in the face.

"I just wanted you to be happy for me," I told her in an eerily calm voice.

"Yeah, well, you've never returned the favor," Petunia replied coldly as she brushed past me and sprinted down the stairs.

In frustration, I watched her disappear from my sight. Merlin, how had that even happened? Why couldn't she just have congratulated me? Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut?

I could never get things right with my big sister. Furiously, I kicked my bedroom door as hard as I could. The loud banging song and the stinging sensation in my foot helped me calm down. I heard footsteps coming quickly up the stairs. Turning my head, I foolishly looked for Petunia. It was James.

"Lily?" he asked cautiously.

"I hate her," I told him as I crossed my arms across my chest defiantly.

"Who?" questioned James, his forehead crinkling in confusion. "McGonagall? Because I could write her right now and refuse the position."

I laughed hollowly. "Not her. Petunia," I spat the name.

James nodded with comprehension. "I just saw her racing out of the house. She threw a fit when your mum tried to stop her. Did you two have a row, or something?"

I nodded.

"What about?"

I sank down onto my knees outside the door and put my head into my hands. "I don't even know," I answered truthfully.

James sat down beside me slowly, letting his legs spread out in front of him while mine were tucked into my chest.

"I hate her," I repeated.

"You love her," James reminded me.

"So?" I asked angrily as I lifted my gaze to his. "She makes me so angry! No one can ruin my day like Tuney."

James gave me a weak grin. "Not even me?"

I sighed. His humor worked, even if only slightly. "You're a close second," I apologized. "I've known her longer. She gets priority billing."

James smiled at me warmly.

"I just can never seem to go three days without getting into a huge fight with her. Is it me? Am I just that crappy of a person?"

"No!" James assured me. "I have on good account from plenty of people whom you've never screamed at that you are ridiculously nice."

I rolled my eyes.

"Lily, one day you and Petunia will work it all out."

"When I'm six feet under," I murmured darkly.

"Nah, before then," laughed James.

"Ugh," I groaned. "Now Mum is going to get all mad at me for getting into a row with Tuney again. She might be the older one, but it's always my fault. I'm the one who should know better. Tuney's so freaking fragile."

"I'll vouch for you," promised James.

"Thanks," I replied with a small smile. "I'm the worst sibling ever."

James let out a huge breath before grabbing my fidgeting hands and engulfing them with his warm ones.

"Did you know that Sirius has a younger brother in Slytherin?"

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, his name is Regulus. Well, little Reg is as Slytherin as you can possibly get-to the delight of their mum. They always get into huge rows, as well. Sirius had to leave home to get away from all of it."

"I never knew that," I said softly.

"Yeah, well, Sirius doesn't talk about it much," replied James as he reached up for his hair.

"Does he hate Regulus?" I asked.

James frowned in thought. "You know, I don't reckon he does. I think what he hates is that they can't get along."

I sighed. "Thanks, James."

He smiled at me and then wrapped me into a hug. I nuzzled my nose into his neck and breathed in his therapeutic scent. James rubbed soothing circles into my back, and I felt all my anger dissipate.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. It was soft and tender. We both understood that this was about human contact, not, well, below the belt human contact. James's lips were warm, and they kissed away my worries.

A few moments later, I remembered that I couldn't spend all day in James's arms. At some point soon, my stomach was going to get so hungry that it would eat me.

"I should go," I told him as I softly moved my lips away from his.

James kissed the top of my head and then released me. "Be ready for Quidditch later, love. It's going to be wicked, as long as your dad doesn't castrate me," he said with a laugh before walking into the guest room.

With a silly smile on my face, I went into the bathroom. These hormonal reactions were exhausting. Maybe I was PMSing.

About an hour later, I was showered, dried, dressed in a pair of denim jeans and a comfy black t-shirt, and almost finished with a salami sandwich. I shoved the last bit into my mouth with a new resolve. I wouldn't let one fight with Petunia ruin my day. I was Head Girl, and no one could take that away from me-well, accept Dumbledore, but I doubted he would. Not when he was appointing scoundrels like James Potter as Head Boy.

That man was off his rocker. I still loved him, though.

Dad came home a couple of hours later with flowers in hand. I laughed when he made a big show of presenting them to me on my usual spot on the couch in the living room. Lilies, of course. Dad was such a sap.

"Your mum told me the news already," he said. "That woman cannot keep a secret if her life depended on it."

I smiled knowingly and gave him a big hug.

He kissed my cheek. "I'm really proud of you, baby girl."

"Thanks, Daddy."

"Go put those in some water," he told me.

Smiling, I got a vase as Dad followed me into the kitchen.

"Mmm," said Dad appreciatively. "Smells good."

My mum's head popped up out of nowhere. "It better," she teased. "I've been slaving away all day. James was telling me about these creatures called house-elves that do all the cooking and cleaning for you. I want one."

Dad laughed. "Put it on the list."

"Dinner should be ready soon," called Mum as she peered into the stove, allowing glorious meat smells to waft through the kitchen. "Go wash your hands, Henry."

My dad rolled his eyes and then winked at me. "Yes, Mum," he obeyed.

I laughed and then finished putting my flowers in a green vase.

"Lily, could you give me a hand with this?" asked Mum, who was struggling to hold three pots at once.

"Sure, Mum."

"Petunia isn't staying for dinner. She said that she and Vernon already had plans," Mum told me hesitantly.

"Ow!" I hissed.

"You okay, Lily?"

"Yeah, just burnt my finger."

A few minutes later, we all took our places for dinner. James held my hand discreetly under the table, and I pretended not to notice the unoccupied seat across from me. The food was amazing. Mum made mouthwatering steak, buttered baked potatoes, cheese-covered broccoli, stuffed mushrooms, and garlic bread. I loved garlic bread. I made a note, in the back of my mind, to brush my teeth before I got James alone to myself. Even if James wasn't a vampire, I didn't feel very snoggable at the moment.

My parents were chatty throughout dinner, and, even if it was just to distract me from Petunia's absence and awkward snogging comments, it was all very amusing. Dad had managed to break the copier at work-again. Mum mixed up her words and said something very inappropriate to the postman this morning. I snorted more than once into my glass of water.

Once all the dishes were cleared away, James ran upstairs to go get his Quidditch things.

"Are you sure you don't want to come along, Mum?" I asked.

She shook her head. "You go have fun with the boys. I'm going to enjoy the house to myself. I was thinking of eating chocolate in the bathtub while reading a book and playing this new record I found."

I nearly started to drool. "That sounds nice."

She laughed and nearly pushed me out the door. "I know!"

Rolling my eyes, I plopped into the front seat of Dad's car as Dad started the engine. I looked backwards to see James holding a chest on his lap with an eager grin plastered to his face. He winked at me, and, smiling, I turned back in my seat.

"So, James, what kind of place are we looking for exactly?"

"Somewhere deserted where no one will notice a few brooms flying in the air," replied the boy nudging my seat with his knee.

"Ahh," said Dad excitedly. "I know where we can go."

About ten minutes later, we arrived at an abandoned clearing. "Perfect, Mr. Evans," remarked James as he got out of the car to get the lay of the land. He opened my door and helped me out of the car.

My dad nodded approvingly before rubbing his hands together excitedly. "When can we start flying?" he asked.

I snorted. "Not yet, Dad."

"Oh, come on, Lily. I've waited 49 years. Don't make me wait much longer!"

James laughed. "You'll love it, Mr. Evans. Flying is the best thing in the world-apart from Lily, of course," he amended with a grin.

"And April's cooking," added Dad.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my hands across my chest. What ruddy sycophants, the both of them.

"So you remember what the balls are called, right?" asked James.

"Bludger, snitch, and the quaffle," recited Dad.

"What happened to the waffle?" I asked. "I liked it better when it was the waffle."

Dad laughed and ruffled my hair. "Why would you chase a waffle, Lils?"

"Because it's the best breakfast food out there, only tied with French toast," I answered.

James and my dad laughed.

"Okay, so now that we've got that covered, we'll bring players into the mix. First, you have the keeper. He protects the hoops from any, ahem, waffles from scoring," began James with a glance at me. "Then, you have your chasers who are the ones trying to score. They're the best."

"You only say that because you're a chaser," I told him.

He grinned and shrugged.

"Don't forgot about the beaters," said Dad. "They're my favorite. I like the thought of beating up the enemy."

I smirked a bit at the way James's Adam's apple wobbled at that statement. "Well, I like seekers. They get to end the game."

"And Lily's favorite part of Quidditch is whenever it's over," teased James.

"Not true," I argued. "I like the snacks, too!"

"Okay, so how do I get in the air?" asked Dad impatiently.

James chortled and then handed my dad a broom. "This is a Cleansweep, Mr. Evans. Very swishy. I think you'll like it."

Dad reached out for the broom like a little kid going for chocolate or maybe a nun reaching for God, or better yet, an attractive, half-naked male. His face was reverent, and his fingers were trembling. He grasped the handle, and his face broke out into the biggest grin.

"Okay," said James. "Now, you'll want to throw one leg over it-yes, like that. Now, move up your hands a bit—not that far-good. Okay, brace the ground with your feet and then push off just for a second to hover in the air."

Dad's face wrinkled with concentration as he left the ground. The bottoms of his shoes were still skimming the grace, but he smiled hugely. "I did it! I'm flying!"

James grinned. "You are! Now, come down for just a second so that I can get Lily set up.

Reluctantly, Dad put his feet back on the ground.

James walked over to me and presented a beaten-down broom. It hadn't been abused, but like a favorite shirt that had been put through the laundry far too many times, it was worn. "Silver Arrow. It was my first ever broom," he recalled fondly.

"How fast does it go?" I asked.

"_She _maxes at about 25 kilometers per hour."

I wrinkled my nose. "Can't I ride your Nimbus?"

James raised his hand to his hair. "I'm not sure, Lily. I need my Nimbus for this year's season. If anything were to happen…."

I smiled sweetly and peeked at him from underneath my eyelashes. "I promise to be careful."

He sighed. "Fine," he surrendered. "Bloody flirt."

I grinned and grabbed the only remaining broom. I swung my leg over the side as James mounted the Silver Arrow. "Okay, now you want to go slowly."

I rolled my eyes and then kicked off the ground and sped into the air. I let out a cheer of victory as the breeze tangled up my hair. I felt the air around me move as I soared through it. The speed, the exhilaration, it was excellent. It was like a really good snog, actually. I did a few loops around the lot before getting back on the ground.

Both males were absolutely speechless. At least my dad had the prudency to keep his mouth shut-unlike some people.

"Lily!" Dad exclaimed. "That was amazing!"

I laughed and shrugged as my face turned a tad red.

"When did you learn how to fly?" James asked finally.

"You can learn anything from reading the theory and applying it, Potter," I told him cheekily. "That and Hestia taught me last year," I murmured finally.

James nodded knowingly. "I wondered why she always asked me when the Pitch was open. I thought she was going to snog some bloke."

I laughed. "Well, maybe half the time she was."

"I want to do what Lily just did," said Dad, filled to the brim with anticipation.

"You can go fly-safely and without major dives-while I go help the First Year," James told me.

"Aye aye, Captain," I muttered.

He winked with a smirk that told me he enjoyed that name a tad too much.

I rolled my eyes before grabbing his broom and flying into the air.

I amused myself for a few minutes by testing the broom out. How fast could I turn? How fast could I pull out of a dive? How fast could I go? There was a lot of emphasis on speed.

However, I became distracted by the ground. James was still trying to get my father into the air. The man who wanted more than anything to fly couldn't go any higher than a meter and a half. Ahh, there were those Evans' spaz genes in action. I watched fondly as James patiently steered him back to the ground and had Dad try again. It was so adorable. Finally, after what seemed to be the thousandth try, Dad actually got some significant height. I flew over to meet him.

"Lily, I'm flying!" he exclaimed.

Well, of course Captain Obvious. But still, this was my dad. On him, this zeal was endearing. "You are!" I replied with just as much excitement.

I looked down at James and winked at him.

Dad followed my gaze. "He's a good guy for you, baby girl."

I smiled. "Thanks, Daddy." I looked down at James, who still looked completely gorgeous in that t-shirt of his as he watched us from below.

"Just don't ever snog him again in front of me."

My face reddened. "Right."

James joined us with a quaffle about a minute later, and we threw it around. I had to bite back laughter when Dad's outstretched arms completely missed the ball nearly every time. He was such an engineer.

All too soon, the sun dipped down behind the trees, and it was simply too dark to play anymore. Not really wanting to, we all flew down to the safety of the ground. James dismounted quickly and then helped me off his broom. His fingers strayed a tad too long on my side but were removed as soon as my dad looked over. Real boyfriend business was such a bummer.

Dad, buzzing the entire way about the scientific impossibility of flying, drove us home. He was still rambling as we approached the house.

"I mean, according to physics, there could never be an angle for you to propel like that. Diving would be completely impossible. Surely, gravity could bring you down but never at such high speeds. How could you get up in the air anyway? And a broomstick could never hold all of your weight without splitting in two! The mechanics alone defy all Newton's Laws of Matter," he prattled quickly.

I rolled my eyes at his loquacious behavior. "Dad, it's magic," I told him simply.

He sighed. "Wait till I tell your mother."

I shook my head. Poor Mum. All of that relaxing was going to go down the drain for her. Well, she did wake me up this morning.

I turned to James and smiled at him as I walked into the house. "How much longer till I get you alone?" he whispered into my ear.

"Not soon enough," I whispered back.

About two hours of impatient pacing and a lot of tooth brushing, I went outside to join James on the swings.

"Hey, Head Girl," he greeted me.

"Hey, Head Boy," I replied back.

He rumpled his hair. "Do you mind?" he asked me worriedly. "I mean, before you had to go along with it because of your parents. I know I probably wasn't the best choice. I think Sirius spiked Dumbledore's pumpkin juice before we left, or something."

I turned my swing sideways to face him. "No," I answered honestly, surprising myself with this random bout of maturity. "I think you'll do a good job."

He grinned. "That's what Remus said."

"You talked to him already?" When did he have time to do that?

"I told him almost as soon as the shock wore off. Bloody prat. He said he was happy for me. That guy doesn't have a vindictive bone in his body. He wants me to enjoy the special bathtub. If, however, I still feel guilty, when we get back to school, he's more than willing to accept chocolate."

I laughed. "That sounds like Remus."

James grinned.

"Did you tell your parents, as well?"

His grin faltered and eventually turned into a frown as his hands returned to his hair. "I can't send them any letters while they're away. It could compromise the mission that they're on."

My heart sank in sadness for him. "Oh, James," I sighed as I bit my lip.

He shrugged it off. "It's okay. I'm sure they'll be happy once they find out."

"Yeah," I assured him. I wished I had something cleverer to say.

"It was nice to do the whole family dinner thing for us, though. I got to celebrate with parents-they just weren't mine."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," I teased. "Now even Dad likes you again. You were really great with him today. I don't think he'll ever forget it. Really, my parents love you."

"Even after the sensible snogging speech following the kitchen counter encounter?"

I laughed at the names. "Yes."

He smiled crookedly at me as his lips ghosted over my collar bone. "So if I kissed you now, no one will get mad at me." He trailed his nose along his neck as his hands slid up and down my sides slowly.

I bit my lip in anticipation.

"Hmm?" he pressed.

I gasped as his lips moved up to my neck.

"Lily?"

He was going to kill me with the anticipation. Honest to Merlin, one day I was going to explode.

"Oh, just kiss me already."

He laughed, and I felt his chest hum with vibrations against mine. Our lips met, and I allowed my fingers to caress the muscle in his arm where his shirt ended.

Ahh, that had been taunting me all day.

* * *

_A/N: hey, lovelies! this was the update from hell. i had the chapter ready. it took me hours to get it updated. my laptop was freaking out. i apologize that this is forty minutes into Saturday._

_okay. so my aunt and my two cousins—annoying and annyoyinger are at my house. and they were supposed to leave yesterday morning, and they are sleeping over tonight now. bleh. but, my mom and my aunt did have several conversations about buying new curtains for my aunt's living room. they discussed rods for a long time. the length. the width. oh, yeah, i'm immature._

_anyways. i hope you enjoyed the chapter. it better be good for all that frustration i endured for all of you. and, just a quick sidenote. many of you beautiful readers have shown interest in a sequel to this story. (only five more chapters left!) all requests for a sequel must be done on Hermione potter452's stories. if you can get her to bug me enough, i might write one. maybe. i hope you all have a much better day than i did!_

_pathetically yours,_

_molly_

Modern Molly Update: just in case you guys were wondering, the reason you see that italicized stuff up there is because i wanted to keep my original author's notes from when this story was on another site. these were written during last summer (hence why i talked about harry's birthday in march). so don't go getting too excited about anything. have a splendid day!


	13. Peevish Purchases

___Previously on Boyfriend: __  
__"Oh, just kiss me already."__  
__He laughed, and I felt his chest hum with vibrations against mine. Our lips met, and I allowed my fingers to caress the muscle in his arm where his shirt ended. __  
__Ahh, that had been taunting me all day._

_

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_

**Chapter Thirteen**  
**Peevish Purchases**

* * *

_"Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping." - Bo Derek_

* * *

B-r-r-r-ing! B-r-ring!

What the bloody hell?

B-r-r-ing!

Almost alert, I sat up in my bed and looked around. Fire? No, I didn't feel hot. Five more minutes. The flames wouldn't be too high by then. I could still get out.

B-r-r-ing!

Where was that coming from?

B-r-r-ing!

Merlin, that was getting annoying. I was trying to sleep! Why wasn't I ever allowed to just sleep?

B—There! In the corner, an alarm clock! Since when did I have an alarm clock? I thought I had implemented a strict ban on them in my room four Christmases ago. I reached out for my wand, and my fingers fumbled around on my nightstand until they grasped the hard wood. Success!

I pointed my wand at the offending demon clock and muttered a charm to get it to stop. Perhaps I should have _Avada Kedavraed _it. Anything that woke me up deserved the death penalty, as far as I was concerned. The clock stopped abruptly.

I lowered my wand and then snuggled back into my pillow. Ahh, sleep.

"Lily!" I heard coming shrilly from outside my room. "Get up!"

I groaned. Mum. Honestly, if that woman hadn't gone through the horrible pain of giving birth to me…bleh, stork!

I pulled my covers over my head to get back into the dark where it was nice and quiet and sleepy…

"Lily!"

Bloody hell.

I stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen. I needed coffee and perhaps a few less family members. I fingered my wand underneath James's jersey. No, that would be bad. I'd regret it later when I wasn't so tired and grouchy. Still, maybe Tuney…

I looked up at the clock. 7:21 A.M.

Oh, you had got to be bloody killing me!

"Bollocks!" I shrieked as I spun around to go right back upstairs. No way in Merlin's underpants was I going to wake up.

"Lily? Where are you going?" Mum called as she walked into the kitchen.

"Upstairs!" I grumbled as I climbed up the first stair.

"No, you are not. Get back down here, young lady," she said sternly.

I groaned. Mum always meant business when she started with the "young lady" talk. The last time she had used that phrase, I had turned her favorite sweater into a frog-on accident, of course. Sighing at my inevitable demise, I shuffled petulantly back into the kitchen.

"There you are," said Mum as she poured herself some cereal into a bowl.

I pointed and the clock and grunted some sort of response back at her.

"I know it's a tad early, but I had to get going," she replied. Apparently Mum had been taking classes in troll.

"A tad early?" I echoed. "The sun isn't even bloody out yet!" I complained irritably.

Mum rolled her eyes as she munched on her cereal. "Yes, it is. It comes out much earlier than this."

I pulled a chair out from underneath the kitchen table. "Yeah, well," I quipped lamely.

"I have to go into school early today for orientation. The school is having a special day for the newcomers and their parents to get better acquainted with the classroom environment before term actually begins. It doesn't really apply to me, but all the teachers are required to go. I'll probably be able to catch up on some paperwork or maybe set the desks up in the best way. Each year I can never decide what's better: all of the desks facing the front or the students facing each other. I like changing it through the year, but it's always important to get it right the first day. Besides, my little ones usually enjoy the stability. For some reason, changing their desk location is detrimental to their anxiety levels. Maybe this year I should go with groups. I suppose that would help with cooperation, but perhaps that would lead to too much chatter…Hmm, Lily are you paying attention?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Are you paying attention?"

No, not really. I had been tuning her out about seven thought processes ago. "Make them all sit on the floor," I told her.

Mum frowned at me. "You're so cross in the mornings, Lily. I'm surprised that James puts up with your tetchy mood swings."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, he's a Lily masochist. Bloke can't live without me," I replied as I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand.

She laughed and then took the final swig of her cranberry juice. "I must be going."

I groaned. "You woke me up just to tell me you're going to leave? Couldn't you have just left a note?"

Mum grabbed her briefcase. I eyed her outfit. She was wearing a pretty knee-length skirt with a lilac short-sleeved blouse. She never dressed up for me. What? Was I not special enough?

Merlin, I was cross in the mornings. It was too bloody early.

"No, that's what I've been trying to tell you. With you leaving so soon, your father and I won't be able to get off work to take you to Diagon Alley. I'm really sorry, Lily, but usually your letter comes earlier, and we have more time to plan. Now, I don't want you to obsess about all the meanings of this. Your father and I, as much as we hate to see you leave, love going to pick out your school supplies with you. You know how your dad nearly pees himself when we pass that store with all the broomsticks. It's just the logistics this year aren't working out. Neither of us can get off work before you leave on Wednesday, and the weekend just won't do. So stop your mind from reeling before it even starts."

I frowned. My mum thought she knew everything. I mean, she did, but still. "What does that have to do with me waking up early?" I croaked.

"I thought maybe if I got you to wake up early, I could convince your sister to go with you-you know how prissy she gets when she has to wait for something. It's almost as bad as you in the mornings. But, unfortunately, she said she already has plans."

I could tell by the way she said it that Petunia just didn't want to go. It was nice of Mum to try and hide it. Still, I could have told her last night that Tuney wouldn't go. Why was I the victim in all of this? It was bloody seven in the bloody morning!

"That's fine, I'll just go with James," I said.

Mum's forehead crinkled in worry. "Are you sure? You two are still only seventeen. I don't want you to get lost. What if something happens?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mum, we'll be fine. James and I can do magic. How much trouble can we get into? Besides, he's known he was a wizard all of his life. He'll be loads more help than Tuney could ever be."

Mum fidgeted with her skirt. "I don't know, Lily."

"Mum, you have to leave for work or you'll be late. Just go on and don't worry about us."

She eyed me wearily before sighing. "Oh, all right. Just be careful, Lily," she acquiesced before kissing my forehead. "Be good," she told me.

"Always am," I replied back cheekily. "Oh, and Mum?"

"Yes?"

"Can I have some money?"

With some fresh bills lying on the table for me, I dragged my carcass back up the stairs. Seven in the morning, Vermin's gross mustache. I was going back to sleep. At least, I was until I felt a pain in my stomach. My bladder worked in mysterious ways. I trudged into the bathroom to find blood in my underwear. Bloody perfect! As if my morning couldn't get any worse. Grumbling all sorts of obscenities, I took care of the blood rushing out of my vagina like a ruddy waterfall and then got back into my bed.

Four glorious hours of R.E.M. later, I crawled out of bed. I went into the bathroom and scrubbed my mouth vigorously with my toothbrush until my teeth sparkled like that new bloke who was on the cover of all those witches' magazines. I flicked some water into my hair to get the frizziness to die down and then flounced downstairs. Petunia was sipping coffee at the kitchen table.

I grabbed my own mug and then joined her-at the farthest available seat. I busied myself with my coffee and then purposefully avoided looking in her direction. She scanned the local newspaper for several minutes of extremely palpable, awkward silence. Finally, I heard the papers rustle against the table as I saw her put it down out of the corner of my eye.

"Mum said that I have to apologize to you," she told me curtly.

And good morning to you too, Tuney. Feeling slaphappy today, were we?

"That's great," I grunted back.

"So you can tell her that I said I was sorry and we can both smile until you leave again so she can get off my back."

My eyes widened in shock. I always thought Mum would just yell at me for these things. Still, that didn't make it okay.

"Do you even know what you're sorry for?"

Petunia frowned. "For not going to your stupid dinner last night. Apparently, it was very rude," she sneered.

The anger began to flow again, but I toned it back. "Yeah," I told her. "It was. Merlin, Petunia, it was a big deal for me, and you just ignored it. I know you don't like the fact that I'm so different, but you could at least be happy for me when something good happens."

Tuney played with the handle of her cup. "Go, Lily," she cheered monotonously.

I rolled my eyes. "Wow, enthusiastic."

"Well, it's not like this is anything new," she snapped, her fingers leaving the cup to brace the table. "All the good stuff happens to you. The perfect grades and the perfect boyfriend and the perfect magic tricks."

Seriously? Since when had I become perfect? Was there some gin mixed in there with her coffee?

"My life is not perfect," I told her. "Far from it."

"Well, it doesn't seem like it," replied Petunia bitterly. "You just go off and leave for nine months without a look back. You're mad because I didn't go to one dinner for you? What about all the times something happens to me during the school year and you aren't there? Do you have any idea what it's like to live with Mum and Dad all year as they rave about your latest letter? 'Oh, Lily is just so talented. We're so proud of her. It's so Goddamn wonderful to have a witch in the family,'" Petunia imitated icily.

I swallowed. To be honest, I rarely thought about what it was like for Petunia to be stuck home with them for nine months out of the year. It would have driven me crazy. No wonder she had to turn to Vernon. Any company would do at this point-even rodent.

"So, yes, Lily, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't make it to your fancy dinner, but rest assured, I know what it's like to have your sister not be there."

She finished her speech with a dramatic clink of her coffee cup.

I sighed, and we were both quiet for a moment. "Do you want to come to Diagon Alley with me today?" I asked in a feeble attempt at reconciliation.

She scoffed and flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "Yeah, right. I'd rather make paper airplane models with Dad," she deadpanned as she got up from the table.

I grinned. "I miss you when I'm not home, too, Tuney," I admitted truthfully.

I saw the corners of her mouth twitch upwards, but she shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest. "Yeah, well, whatever."

I sniggered into my coffee and nibbled on a bit of toast she had left behind as I listened to the sound of her heels become quieter and quieter until it disappeared altogether.

"Lily!"

"Gah!" I exclaimed as I jerked backwards and away from the boy in front of me. My coffee mug clanked onto the table, but it didn't break. Hmm, that Chinese craftsmanship was even better than the goblin stuff.

"James? How did you get here so fast?"

He grinned boyishly as he ruffled his hair and stepped backwards to give me some room. "I apparated, silly," he told me.

"Couldn't you have just walked down the stairs like a normal person?" I grumbled at him.

"But I wanted to surprise you," he crooned.

I rolled my eyes.

James seemed to sense my annoyance with him so he leaned in to kiss me and distract me from my anger. It worked. It always bloody worked.

He hummed softly as his lips left mine. "You remembered today," he whispered as his lips pulled away from mine-after a fashion.

"Huh?" I asked stupidly.

He ruffled my hair and released his hold on my waist. "Nevermind. Go upstairs and get dressed. We have a lot to do today! The school supplies won't buy themselves, and your mum gave me strict orders not to leave your side all day," he added cheerfully.

"Oh, goody," I growled.

"C'mon, love!" he urged me. "Let's get cracking."

"I hate morning people," I told him grumpily.

"Well, it's a good thing it's almost the afternoon then," he replied back jovially.

Feeling like a lone Slytherin in a compartment full of bloody Hufflepuffs, I trudged back up the stairs and wondered what my mother would get James to do if I never got out of bed. Oh, gross. Weird images. Now, I really needed to shower. Or possibly, I could rip my uterus out of my body. I didn't really need that anyway, right?

I took a long shower and then went into my room to get dressed. As much as I wanted to just throw on some sweatpants and curl up on the couch to watch old movies, I dutifully pulled out a pair of black stretchy capris and an oversized gray t-shirt. My outfit said, "Don't mess with me. I'm menstruating."

I put on some makeup to make myself seem a tad more presentable and then pulled my damp hair back into a ponytail. I stuffed my feet into a pair of trainers and then grabbed a purse, into which I threw in a bunch of tampons and my money bag.

James was waiting for me downstairs with an eager smile. I tried to grin back as brightly as I could. Don't be a bitch. Don't be a bitch. Don't be a bitch.

After trying to be as patient as possible-which really involved annoying pacing, while I stuffed the last bit of my sandwich into my mouth, James walked over to me.

"Ready?" he asked. "I grabbed our letters, and your mum told me to remind you to bring this," he said as he handed me the money from the table. "I'm under strict rules to not buy you anything," he told me.

I rolled my eyes. "Mum," I muttered. I eyed his outfit. He looked about the exact polar opposite from me. His pale yellow shirt and bright blue shorts were too cheerful for my eyes. "How did you want to get there?"

James ruffled his hair. "I was thinking we could apparate."

I nodded but didn't say anything.

"If you don't want to, we can always floo there," he backtracked. "I have some powder in the guest room. I'd even go the muggle way if you prefer. It's just that you slept rather late this morning, and we don't have much time."

I put my hand on his arm to reassure and silence him. "Apparating's fine," I said. Hell, maybe I'd even splinch myself and leave a part of my stupid anatomy behind.

He smiled warmly at me as he pulled out his wand. Adjusting my purse so that it rested more firmly on my shoulder, I stepped backwards and did the same.

"Let's go," said James, winking at me before spinning in place.

I did the same and felt the immediate uncomfortable pull at my navel, which, frankly, was already suffering enough. My surroundings blurred and spiraled around me as I became disoriented. I pinched my eyes shut and waited for it to be over. I felt my feet land on the ground, and I stumbled backwards in surprise. My back hit a hard surface, and I felt warm arms wrap around my waist. I opened my eyes.

"Careful, love," said James as he took advantage of our position to nestle his face into my neck.

Still dizzy and confused, I let out a very quiet moan as his lips grazed the sensitive skin right underneath my earlobe. Seconds later, we were snogging.

"Oi! We're trying to walk here!" I heard a disgruntled man shout in a thick accent. "Take that somewhere else."

Blushing, I squirmed out of James's arms and fixed my purse, which was falling off my shoulder. "Sorry!" I called out to the guy's back.

James laughed and kissed my cheek. He grabbed my hand, and we entered the Leaky Cauldron together.

Inside, it was dark and dirty. It needed a whole day's worth of dusting. Petunia would have freaked out and left. I loved it. James's hand roamed up to my shoulder. "Can I interest you in a drink?" he asked as we weaved through the tables.

I laughed and glanced at his watch. "It's a tad early for drinks," I told him.

He sighed and swore under his breath.

"Why? Am I ruining your plans?"

He smiled at me. "Plans?" he asked innocently. "Who? Me?"

I rolled my eyes.

"So how about that drink?"

"James, are you trying to get me drunk?" I asked in a scandalized voice.

He grinned shiftily at me as we passed Tom, the barkeep, who waved at us. "Nope, just tipsy enough that I suddenly become irresistible to you."

I scoffed. "Like you'd need alcohol to seduce me," I grumbled.

James's head perked up, and his eyes shone with mischief. "Really?" he asked brightly.

I opened the door to the courtyard behind the pub and dragged him with me. "Let's go shopping, James, before your head gets too big for me to snog."

"But there will be snogging later, right?"

Honestly, the boy was a hormone-obsessed toddler. Rolling my eyes, I took out my wand and raised it in front of the brick wall in front of us. My arm faltered as I tried to remember the exact pattern.

"Three up, two across," James reminded me.

"I know," I seethed defensively as I did as he said. Bloody pureblood who thought he knew everything.

The bricks began to move, and we were suddenly standing at the entrance of Diagon Alley. My eyes followed the hustle and bustle of people moving from shop to shop. I eagerly took a step forward, but James held me back with a tug on my arm.

"Lily, are you okay?" he asked, his eyebrows crinkling in concern. He wasn't gazing at the streets of magic but at me. He was more accustomed to the life of magic than I was.

I sighed. "I'm fine, James," I promised.

"Are you sure?" he pressed. "You've been acting strangely all day."

"It's nothing," I assured him, plastering a smile to my face. "I've just been feeling a tad drained this morning, is all," I said with an ironic chuckle. "Nothing that can't be cured with a bit of shopping."

"And fine company," he added as he threw his arm over my shoulder.

"Mmm, can I get that here, as well?" I teased, looking around.

James laughed loudly. "Bloody wench," he mumbled.

I grinned widely at him.

"Let's go give the goblins hell," he announced.

Gringotts was an experience. The oily goblins nearly tripped over themselves to help us out as soon as the word "Potter" left James's lips. I had a sneaking suspicion that one of the more malevolent looking ones named Gloin was going to lock us up and steal James's money-because he did have a lot of money. James's hand was permanently attached to his hair as he tried to block out the enormous piles of gold, bronze, and silver from my view as he filled up his bag.

Money was such an odd subject. If you had it, it defined you, and if you didn't, people knew and it defined you, too. My family wasn't poor, but we weren't rich either. I remembered watching my father crunching numbers on his brick of a calculator when Petunia first enrolled into university and him spouting off things like "Oh, God" every once in a while. Yet, we had always lived comfortably. Sure, I had worn some of Petunia's hand-me-downs, but that wasn't necessary thrifty, it was more common sense. It was good for the environment!

Looking at James as he brought his bulging money bag back into the cart was strange. I had never really thought about it before, but James was rich. He came from old money. He was a Potter. He probably lived in a fancy house that made mine look like a tiny shack. He was used to stately dinners prepared by eager house-elves and parents willing to indulge their only son's every whim. What did he think of me? I had spent so many years at Hogwarts denying his good qualities, but what could I really offer James? I was a muggleborn nobody with no connections and clashing features. James was a Potter.

No wonder the goblins all wanted to gut him.

Merlin, that was awful of me. I immediately felt bad for having been so close-minded and prejudiced about the goblins. It wasn't their fault they had pointy ears and crooked teeth anymore than it was my fault for being born from muggle parents. That did not make them undeserving or inferior in any way. Goblins were just fine.

However, it was James's fault for purposely rocking the cart so that I had to cling onto him to just stay inside. He laughed as I ducked my head into his chest for safety. I kicked him in the shin, and that only made him laugh harder. That bloody git. He was lucky I hadn't tossed him out to go make friends with the dragons rumored to reside deep within the vaults.

With both of our money bags full and, in my case, wobbly knees, we left Gringotts. I inhaled deeply and savored the feeling of polluted city air after the dark, dank, endless tunnels. James stuffed his money bag into his pocket with some slight difficulty that was rather humorous to behold and then turned to me. "Where would you like to go first, Miss Evans?"

I bit my lip as I considered the many options before me, not able to narrow it down to just one. "Whatever strikes our fancy, I suppose," I said finally.

He grinned and grabbed my hand again. Eeylops Owl Emporium was down the street so we stopped there to get Callie some owl treats for Hogwarts -mice flavored. Then, we strolled into the apothecary to replenish our Potions' supply, and James garbled the entire time about how Potions was a rubbish subject and how prospective aurors didn't really need it. I laughed, thinking of how James hated that Severus Snape beat him on nearly every potion and was accepted into the Slug Club before he was. James was such a transparent sore loser. Nevertheless, his whining did make buying beetles more amusing.

Diagon Alley was rather full today, and we had to wait in line for ages to get James a new set of robes, for he had grown too tall for his old pair. As we waited, I watched harrowed-looking witches, genial wizard businessman, frantic mothers, and devious little kids walk through the streets. It was fascinating to see so many of my kind, but I much preferred the quiet and familiarity of my own home in the suburbs. James, however, seemed to be in his element as he weaved through the crowds and rubbed elbows with the many seemingly important people we encountered.

"You're next, Sir," Madam Malkin addressed to James.

James strode over, and she began to take his measurements. Madam Malkin could not have been over thirty with dark hair that curled down her back and full, red lips. She had curvy hips that swayed a bit as she moved around James. It was obvious that she found him attractive. Most people with eyes did.

Still, I didn't miss the way her fingers hesitated a bit too long across his chest, and I narrowed my eyes at her and coughed loudly. She looked over at me, and I shot her withering glare back. Her hands kept to themselves for the rest of the transaction. I smirked at her when James wrapped his arm around my waist and led us out of the store. Take that in, Malkin.

Merlin, cramps made me act funky and vindictive. Maybe I should find some tonic, or something. Which store sold a hormone stabilizer for crazy, uterus wall tearing teens?

We reached Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, and I knew exactly what I needed to cure my womanly problems: chocolate.

James turned to me with a knowing smile on his face. "How about we skip dinner and go straight for dessert?"

"Sounds lovely," I told him.

We went up to the counter, and Florean clapped James on the back and told us funny stories as he filled our orders. Then, James and I found an empty table with a bright red umbrella outside the shop and sat down with our ice cream. While James had chosen a strawberry ice cream cone with nuts, I had gone all out and ordered a massive hot fudge sundae. I licked my spoon as the warm, thick fudge trailed down my throat. It was divine.

"Mmm," I moaned as I licked my lips.

"Good?" James asked with a suggestive smirk.

I grinned and let him have his silly fantasies. "Good," I told him as I dug in for more.

We sat in comfortable silence as we ate our ice cream. Well, James ate his. I inhaled mine. Finally finished with my monster sundae, I threw my spoon down triumphantly. I felt pleasantly nauseous. It was perfect.

James smirked at me. "You have chocolate on your face," he said.

My face heated up as I grabbed a napkin and frantically brushed it across my mouth. "Is it gone?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nope."

I raised the napkin, but he placed his hand on mine to stop me. "I got it," he offered.

Only, instead of wiping it off, he kissed me. His mouth tasted like strawberries. Eagerly, I kissed him back and opened my lips for him to deepen the kiss. My eyes fluttered close, and I enjoyed the way our cold tongues danced together. James brought his hands to rest on my hips, and I allowed mine to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

My fingernail accidentally grazed the skin there, and he hissed, pulling me impossibly closer to him. I smiled into his lips, and we continued to kiss deeply for what felt like hours. Then, we started to slow down, and his lips grew more tender and soft against my own. I sucked on his lower lip as he hummed softly against me. James pulled back and pecked my lips once, twice, three times before pulling away.

"Got it," he told me huskily.

Shakily, I pulled myself away since I had been embarrassingly close to sitting on his lap. "You sure?" I asked him.

"Well," he teased as he leaned into kiss me again.

After another whirlwind round of snogging, during which, I decided that ice cream was the best invention of all time, we finally left our table and walked back into the streets. We did have a few more things to buy. Unfortunately.

We arrived at the entrance to Flourish and Blotts, and I eagerly pulled James into the store, nearly skipping with enthusiasm. "Come on!"

James laughed as he trailed behind me. "How come you never get this excited to see me?"

"You're not that interesting, Potter," I told him with just a hint of a smile.

He cocked an eyebrow at me and then pulled me into his chest. "Really?" he asked as his lips grazed my ear.

I shoved him away. "Not now," I reprimanded. "We have books to buy," I said as I eagerly scanned the store.

I fished my booklist out of my purse, careful as to not let James see any of the other items, and looked it over. "I only need two books this year," I told him. After you made it to the N.E.W.T. level, textbooks pretty much stayed the same.

"How about we get those first, and then you can raid the store afterwards?" James offered.

I grinned widely at him and then headed for the Charms section to get my last copy of _Standard Book of Spells_. James grabbed the first one he saw, but I perused the pile until I found the perfect copy with just the right spine. Then, we changed course to grab the new Transfiguration book Professor McGonagall wanted to try this year.

James's sigh was highly audible as I put back the fourth rejected copy of the textbook in search for one with the best smell. "Merlin, Lily, they're all the same. Just pick one already," he told me irately.

I frowned as I clutched a new copy to my chest. "They're not all the same, James."

"Well, do they have all the same title?"

"Yes."

"And the same text?"

I nodded.

"And the same author?"

Another nod.

"So they're all the same!"

"No," I corrected him obviously.

He groaned in frustration and pulled at his rumpled black hair.

I tapped his shoulder lightly to get him to calm down. "I'm going to be in here awhile. Why don't you go browse some shops without me? Then, I can come collect you when I'm done," I suggested.

Still abusing his hair, James took a deep breath and nodded. "I'll probably be in-"

"Quality Quidditch Supplies, I know," I finished for him. "Go look at brooms and find your happy place."

James grinned at me crookedly. "Thanks, Lily. I was going crazy in here."

I rolled my eyes. "Really? I hadn't noticed," I deadpanned.

He grabbed his books and mine, as well. "I'll just pay for these and then leave before the books attack me."

I grabbed his hand back. "James, you don't have to pay for mine."

"Trust me, love, it's worth it just to get out of here," he told me. Then, with a quick kiss on the cheek, he left me in the aisle to smell as many books as I wanted to.

I headed straight for the fiction section. Having grown up reading muggle books about spells and dragons, it was kind of nifty to read books that made things so much more realistic because magic really existed. Plus, it was always a hoot to read what wizards thought of muggles. I'd never met anyone that dull-well, excepting Vermin, of course.

I chose a book about a girl who slayed vampires and sat down to read a bit of it. The pages smelled clean and crisp, and they felt smooth as I turned them with the very tip of my index finger to continue the story.

Now, this was the only blood I wanted to think about today.

"Lily Evans?"

My heart nearly flew out of my chest as I jumped into the air.

"Oh, Lily, I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to frighten you."

I put the book down and looked up at the offending figure looming over me. "Alice Prewett?" I asked gleefully.

"Well, Longbottom now, but yes," she said with a blush.

"Eee!" I squealed as I stood up to give her a hug. As I pulled back, I discerned the slight changes in her appearance since she had graduated three years ago. Her long light brown hair had been cut to her shoulders, her figure had grown more mature, and she had finally given up on her old, decrepit trainers in favor of a pair of flats. Looking at Alice reminded me of how she had brought me under her wing as a young Prefect and showed me what to do to impress the professors to get myself noticed in a positive way. Alice had almost been like an older sister to me when I had needed one who wasn't Tuney.

"You married Frank?" I asked excitedly.

She chuckled. "Yes," answered Alice, her face widening into a glorious smile.

"That's fantastic!" I told her, really meaning it.

She grinned impossibly wider. "We'd been together for so long that it just felt right to make it official."

"What's that like?" I asked her.

Alice laughed. "A lot like taking care of a toddler, really," she told me. "Boys are so clueless. Though, there are perks," she told me with a scandalous smile.

We both giggled together. "I can't believe it."

"Me neither some days, to be honest," Alice told me.

"What are you doing in Diagon Alley?" I asked her.

"Wishing I was going back to Hogwarts, mostly," she said wistfully. "It was much more fun than Auror training. Plus, the food's loads better. You'll never truly appreciate a house-elf until you've gone an entire year without proper pudding."

I smiled. "Still, being an Auror must be awfully exciting."

She looked over her shoulder. "Can you keep a secret?" she asked me in a hushed voice.

Anxiously, I nodded.

"It is," she whispered conspiratorially. "Oh, Lily, it's ruddy fantastic. You would love it. Going on missions gives you such a rush. Plus, our trainer Moody is a genius. He's annoying as hell, but he's taught me so many things about defense. I'll hope you'll consider joining next year. We could use another Gryffindor girl on the team," she said with a sly smile.

I grinned as images of me fighting men in dark cloaks raced through my mind-for some reason, all bad guys always wore dark cloaks. I hadn't decided what I wanted to be after graduation, so I had taken extra N.E.W.T. classes to keep my options open. I loved Charms, but I was also very good at Potions. I supposed I could be a healer, but I wasn't sure if I could deal with all the slippery organs. But an Auror, me? I felt chills go down my spine. I liked the way it sounded.

"Of course, the main downside is that Frank flutters around trying to protect me, when really he's only putting himself in danger. He's always been an adorable little twat," she said fondly.

I grinned. "I remember. You guys were the perfect couple, Head Boy and Girl."

Alice's eyes widened. "Speaking of which, did you find out yet?"

"I got it!" I told her excitedly.

Alice pulled me into a hug. "Oh, that's wonderful, Lily! Any news about who's going to be the Head Boy?"

I bit my lip. "I, um, haven't found out yet," I told her.

"I wouldn't have known either if it had been anyone except for Frank. I hate how everything in that school has to be such a bloody secret. Still, I suppose it could only be a few blokes. Isn't Remus Lupin in your year? He had such dreamy blue eyes. If he had been a couple years older, I would have dated him. Don't tell Frank that," she told me with a wink.

I nodded dumbly, but I really hadn't been listening. I was more shocked that I had lied. There had been no reason for it. I should have just told her it was James. Only, I didn't want her to ask questions. I wasn't ready for anyone besides my family to know about James and me yet. Hell, I hadn't even told Hestia! I bit my lip. What if someone had seen us shopping together? Suddenly, even the bookstore didn't make me feel serene anymore.

"Lily?" asked Alice, looking concerned.

I blinked and then plastered a smile to my face. "Sorry, Alice, I'm just a tad distracted, is all. What time is it?"

She glanced down at her watch. "9:42," she answered.

"Oh, damn, I should be going. I've spent far too much time in here already."

"Okay, well, it was very nice to see you, Lily."

"You too, Alice," I told her truthfully. "Say 'hi' to Frank for me."

She grinned. "Will do. You make sure to give Remus the ol' hairy eyeball for me."

I laughed. "Well, bye, Alice."

"Hope to see you soon, Lily," she said to me.

"You too," I called over my shoulder. Then, with a final wave, I exited the store and entered the streets of Diagon Alley.

Quality Quidditch Supplies wasn't too far away, but it was easy to find because of all the young boys fogging up the store windows as they practically salivated over the newest broomstick. I squeezed past them, earning myself several lustful stares from the prepubescent boys, and walked into the store. After a little bit of navigating through the tight aisles, I found James, immersed in a conversation with one of the store workers.

"But the Silver Arrow is so slow!" I heard James argue. "And it has a weight issue in the handle that's a clear flaw in the design. You can never dive perfectly straight on one unless you compensate for the curve."

"Still, it beats these new Nimbuses by a landslide," the wizened old clerk replied right back with a thick Irish accent. What was left of his hair was jutting out of his head in white puffs, and his hands trembled as he spoke. "They're too flashy. I bet after a few years they'll break and you won't have anything to ride. But the Silver Arrows, my boy, they'll be yours for life."

"If I wanted to fly like an old geezer!" said James hotly.

"You'll get old too, someday, lad, and understand," he promised.

James scoffed, and his eyes found me. "Lily!" he exclaimed brightly as his eyes lit up.

"Hey, James," I greeted him.

"Old Jim and I were just talking about brooms."

"I could see that," I told him.

"Who's this, James?" Jim asked.

"This is my—um, well, this is Lily," said James.

I noticed the fumbling, but I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure what the protocol was anymore for us. Was I his girlfriend? I mean, we had acknowledged that we had feelings for each other, but nothing was really set in stone.

I bit my lip and then realized that no one was saying anything. James's hand went straight for his hair. I put my arm out. "It's nice to meet you," I told Jim.

He grasped my hand and shook it hardily. "Same here," he told me with a goofy smile. "So how long have you known James for?" he asked me.

"Too long," I answered with a teasing smile at James.

"I know what you mean, lass," he told me. "Still, he's a good boy."

"I know what you mean," I echoed him.

"So where are your parents hiding, James, m'boy? Your dad's just as big of a nut as you are about those Nimbuses. I don't reckon that man ever stops smiling when you two are in here together."

James smiled poignantly, but then shook his head. "The parents are spending a little time together alone. I guess I was just too much for them. Today, it's just Lily and me," he finished as he threw his arm over my shoulder.

Jim threw me a wink. "Well, I better be getting back to the front. See you soon, kid," he said with a kindhearted slap on James's shoulder. "And you, Lily."

"Bye, Jim!" James called before turning to me.

"Bye!" I echoed.

Jim waved at us from over his shoulder before disappearing behind the front desk.

"Do you know everyone?" I asked.

James grinned. "More or less," he answered. "Where are your books?" asked James, noticing my empty hands for the first time. "You didn't buy anything after all that time? Or, did you just read all the books already?"

"Haha," I grumbled. "Are you ready to leave? I'm not really feeling so well. I'd like to go home."

James's eyes softened with concern. "Did something happen?"

Yes. I ran into Alice Prewett who was now Alice Longbottom. I lied to her about knowing who the Head Boy was and then realized that anyone could have seen us together all day. Plus, we spent a lot of the day snogging. Anyone from school could have just walked by and saw us! And then, you just almost called me your girlfriend. Yes, something had happened.

"Cramps!" I blurted out impulsively. "I have cramps!"

James's whole body immediately stiffened, and his face turned a little green. "Oh," he choked out.

"Really bad cramps that make me feel like crap," I reiterated. "I'm an estrogen nightmare," I added.

James let go of my hand as I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. He reached up to grab his hair. "Umm," he stuttered.

"And I really think we should go home."

"Right," said James, his voice sounding forced. "Let's get you home."

We didn't talk the entire way through Diagon Alley and into the Leaky Cauldron. As it was dark out, James guided me through the crowds, his hand resting gently on the small of my back. His posture was rigid, and he still looked a bit like a male who had just learned far more than he had ever wanted. I, for a plethora of reasons, felt like crap.

Once we reached the streets of London, James pulled us behind a building and looked over his shoulder. "No one's nearby. Ready?"

I nodded and took out my wand. I spun on my heel and shut my eyes. When I opened them, we were both standing on my front porch. "Good aim," I commented causally.

He smirked. "I try," he replied.

I fished through my bag until I found my keys, and then I let us inside. My dad was waiting for us at the kitchen table. "Hey, baby girl," he greeted me as I walked over to him.

"Hey, Daddy," I responded as I kissed his cheek. "Why are you still up?" I asked as I sat down and looked over at the clock. It was nearly eleven now, and he had to wake up early for work.

"Your mum passed out on me a little bit ago, but I decided to wait up for you two. I wanted to make sure you got home safe," he told me. "Thank you for that, James," he said with a quick glance at him and one of those nods that only males understand.

"My pleasure, Mr. Evans," replied James, sitting down next to me and then wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

I rolled my eyes. I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

"Did you get everything you needed, Lils?" Dad asked me.

I nodded. "I'm all ready for school."

"You're sure you want to go? I can take some time off work this year and we can go on fishing trips. I'll even let you drive," he offered lightly.

"Daddy," I reprimanded.

"I know, education," Dad whined with a sigh.

I chuckled. "Goodnight, Daddy," I said before kissing his temple. "You should go to bed soon, too. You're talking crazy."

"Yes, Lily."

I silently questioned James, but he straightened up. "I thought I'd have a quick chat with your dad."

I quirked my eyebrow at him, but James just smiled reassuringly.

"We'll talk later?" asked James meaningfully with the slightest head tilt towards the backyard.

I nodded and then waved at them. "Night, boys."

I went up to my room and threw my bags onto my bed before falling onto it face first. Eventually, and with much determination, I dragged myself up and let Calypso out of her cage. "Hey, girl," I greeted her. She hooted softly at me, and for a few minutes, allowed me to trace the feathers of her wings before flying out the window. Taking that as my leave to do the same, I silently exited my room and tiptoed outside.

Like most nights, James was waiting for me at his swing. His head shot up when he heard me approach.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked cautiously. "I mean, you're not still, um, well,-yeah," he finished lamely, the tips of his ears going pink as his hand flew to his hair.

My face turned bright red as I tried to sputter out something coherent. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Sorry about before. I kind of made you leave," I apologized.

"Oh! That's not even an issue, Lily," James assured me quickly. "It was late anyway, and it's not like it was under your control."

"So little things are," I mumbled under my breath. I cocked my head to the side as I scanned his profile.

Wanting to ease the awkwardness of the situation, I let myself crack a joke. "So what were you talking to my father about, Potter? Arranging coffin sizes for when he kills you?"

James rolled his eyes and shoved my arm so that my swing pushed forward. "Not likely, Evans. I won't make that mistake twice."

"So what did you talk about?"

"I was just asking for his input on something," James said enigmatically.

"You know that's not an answer to my question, right?"

He grinned. "Oh, I know," he assured me.

I crossed my arms and pouted.

When he saw my expression, James laughed. "Well, how about I ask you one. Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?"

"We have dinner together every day," I reminded him obviously.

He chuckled and pulled at his hair. "I know we do, but I wanted to see if you'd like to go out on a date with me tomorrow night."

I bit my lip. "Is that what you asked my dad about?"

James shook his head. "No. Nobody knows about this. You are free to decide on your own without any complications on our cover."

"A date between me and you?" I asked.

He nodded.

"For real?" I pressed.

"I'd like it to be," said James softly.

I bit my lip and shut my eyes. Did I really want to do this? This would complicate things even further.

"Okay," I breathed.

James's smile was so beautiful that my heart seemed to beat erratically at the sight of it. He leaned over to kiss me, and I closed my eyes and let it happen.

* * *

A/N: hello, my stunningly beautiful readers! today, we went out to lunch at a local restaurant before my older brother leaves for law school. because he was running late, my little brother wore two different types of shoes in order to get in the car on time. oh, brother. ;D  
okay, well, i sincerely hope you enjoyed the chapter. i feel a bit iffy about it, but that's how i feel about every chapter. i think too much. anyways, i want to thank those of you who nominated this story for a dobby award. shucks, i'm touched. i could not be more grateful nor more humbled by your praise. thank you.  
oh! and i made one of those meet the author pages in case you guys want to check that out! i'm finally figuring out the forums a bit (hey sreduaram!)  
have a fantastic week everybody!

bashfully yours,  
molly

Modern Molly Update: i apologize profusely for my slight delay. i was having intense technical difficulties. please accept my sincerest regrets. happy first day of spring! i hope your day is going better than mine is.


	14. Dinner Date

Previously on Boyfriend:

___I bit my lip and shut my eyes. Did I really want to do this? This would complicate things even further.__  
__"Okay," I breathed.__  
__James's smile was so beautiful that my heart seemed to beat erratically at the sight of it. He leaned over to kiss me, and I closed my eyes and let it happen._

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**  
**Dinner Date**

* * *

_"When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said, 'The middle of August? Cool!' " — Steven Wright_

"Lily," a voice whispered into my ear. It sounded so warm, like golden honey, and I inhaled sweetly at the sound. Instinctively, I knew to whom it belonged.

"Mmm," I moaned quietly in my sleep.

"Lily," the voice coaxed again with the same velvety tone. Warm arms wrapped around my torso, and I thanked my subconscious for making it all feel real enough that I felt tingles run down my spine. I breathed in the scent. Merlin, the scent preserving spell I had put on James's shirt was powerful. I could smell his aroma all around me.

"Lily, you have to wake up."

I frowned and rolled over. Normally, my dream James tried to make the illusion go on for as long as possible-usually with fun seduction techniques.

"Time to get up."

I pulled my sheets up over my head, muttering dissents the entire time. Slowly, I felt the sheets being loosened from my fingers and brushed down to my stomach with a slight tickle when it passed my ribs. I kept my eyes closed as I felt a callused thumb trace my cheek in a circular pattern. A content sigh left my lips as I felt drowsiness take over again. My perception was fading.

"No, Lily, don't go back to sleep," dream James urged me.

I opened my mouth to ask him why he was acting so strangely and why he wasn't kissing me, but suddenly I couldn't speak because there were soft lips pressing themselves against mine. Ahh, that was better.

My eyes still shut, I let dream James take over. This was what I had been expecting. "Mmm, James," I sighed as our lips danced lightly together, enough for me to feel the pressure of his lips but not enough to expect anything more-even though dream James never wore shirts. The kiss was sweet.

My head spinning dizzily, I pulled back. Normally, dream James and I never had to worry about oxygen. His fingers ran through my hair as I breathed deeply.

"Open your eyes," James whispered throatily.

I did as he requested. There was James. He looked a bit too prim and proper for my liking. Dream James usually sported a bit of scruff. I reached out to feel his freshly shaven jaw. "I want my subconscious to go back to normal, dream James," I told him.

James's hand trailed from my hair to my arm, stopping to rest over my hand. "Lily, this isn't a dream."

"It's not?"

"Nope."

I blinked and sat up a little. I didn't feel groggy or tired at all. In fact, all of my cramps had gone away, though, that wasn't too unusual; it was always the worst on the first day. My room was filled with sunlight, but I pinched myself just to make sure. Yep, I was awake. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I asked, "Then why did you kiss me?"

He chuckled lightly, and I felt the bed hum underneath me. "To wake you up."

I smiled demurely at him. "Good idea."

"You still seem a bit too drowsy for me, though," he decided.

"Mmm," I agreed, licking my lips in anticipation.

"I think I should rectify the situation," James told me in all seriousness.

Kissing James, I decided that this was the perfect method of waking someone up. If this could happen every day, hell, I could even become a morning person. Several minutes later, when all three of us were, ahem, thoroughly awakened, James and I got out of bed.

As I worked to fluff out my hair and pull down his shirt so that I looked less like a desperate, ostracized veela during last call at the Hog's Head, James walked over to peer more at my room. He gave my books a once over, then looked at my dresser like he really wanted to open up the drawers, but he refrained. I grinned to myself. Oh yeah, he was still afraid of my awesome wrath.

James walked over to my shelves, which were all overflowing with unicorns. I had all sorts of them. Unicorn figurines, plush dolls, book ends, pictures, even unicorn salt shakers. James picked up one of the stuffed animals, and I winced a bit when he threw it up into the air.

"Hey," I called out to him as I rescued the animal from his grasp. "Be nicer to Mr. Snuggles." I hugged him to my chest and frowned sadly at his mistreatment.

James snorted and laughed at the same time, and I willed my face to remain composed. "Mr. Snuggles?" he asked.

"Oh, shut up," I told him as I placed Mr. Snuggles back in his spot and gave him a quick pat on the head when James wasn't looking.

"You named your unicorn doll?"

"He's not a doll," I corrected him prissily. "He's a stuffed animal. Besides, that was years ago."

Okay, two, but he didn't need to know that. It was still plural!

"Oh, sorry," teased James with a grin. "I didn't think you were the type to be so uppity about this kind of stuff."

I shrugged in what I hoped was a nonchalant way.

His grinned widened. "Though, I suppose you are a bit uppity about everything."

Scrunching up my nose, I smacked him in the chest with my arm. "Git," I told him as I hit him again. He raised his hands in surrender, and I sighed. "I just like unicorns-even before I found out I was magic. They're just so beautiful and pure and innocent. I wish I could see one."

"Wait, you've been living at Hogwarts for six years, and you've still never seen a unicorn?" asked James, taken aback.

I shook my head. "The lesson in Care of Magical Creatures was only theory that day. Professor Kettleburn couldn't find any for us, remember?"

"Yeah, but there are loads of them in the Forbidden Forest. Why didn't you ever just go find one?"

"Because we're not supposed to go in there, James," I told him obviously. "It's forbidden. Hence, the name, see," I told him with a mocking smile.

He rolled his eyes.

"Lily, you can't let them spoil your fun," James commented with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Sometimes you've got to break a few rules."

"Put it on the list," I sighed.

He ruffled up his hair in thought.

I raised an eyebrow at his lost in thought, already dressed body-bloody morning person, and he stiffened when he noticed my stare but then broke into an impish smirk.

"Tired?" he asked hopefully.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Not at all," I lied. "Actually, I'm going to get dressed," I told him.

His eyes sparkled, and he sat down at my desk, waiting.

"Am I going to let you watch?" I asked him pointedly.

"Yes," James said back hopefully.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but to play along. "And why would that be?"

"Because I was cursed with no siblings and this is Merlin's way of paying me back for my seventeen long years of solitude," James replied with a roguish wink.

I pulled him out of my chair and guided him to the door. "Time for Potter to leave," I scolded.

"Damn," he complained. "I promise not to look."

"Liar," I accused.

"Guilty," he agreed before stealing a kiss at the door.

I let him steal all of my oxygen until I remembered that I was the one in charge and pushed him back.

Breathless, he smiled jubilantly at me. "I'll be home at six o'clock to take you out. Dress nice," he told me.

"Wait, where are you going? Where are we going?"

"Your mum is going to drop me off at your dad's office to do some guy bonding stuff."

I rolled my eyes. It was just so like him to want to go and bore himself silly with Dad. Chances were that they'd spend the afternoon gossiping like little old women and trying to throw wads of paper into a rubbish bin, cheering loudly and pathetically when they actually tossed it in. Still, the term "guy bonding" was rather hysterical. "Don't go for the three-pointer," I advised.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he just let it slide. I didn't think James understood half the things I said. What was the point of being witty if no one got the joke?

"Just ignore me," I told him with a sigh. "So what is going on?"

"I'm going to spend the day with your dad at his office."

"But it's Sunday," I told James.

"Yeah, but he's got to work overtime to solve that number problem. Apparently, the accowmans can't figure it out, so he has to help."

"Accountants," I corrected him with a laugh.

"Right, well, your mum is taking me before she goes off to some special teacher lunch meeting."

I nodded. "The annual fancy shmancy lunch before all the children show up."

"And as for tonight, it's a surprise," he announced enigmatically.

I groaned. "I hate surprises."

He laughed and kissed my nose. "I know."

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Sensing them, too, James turned to look. "Your mum."

"Awesome," I deadpanned.

"Oh, there you are," I heard Mum say as James and I put a few more centimeters of distance between us. "James, we have to go now, or I'm going to be late." She looked distracted as she checked her watch and pulled at her skirt hem. She was probably debating which macaroni artwork best symbolized education, or something. Merlin, I'd make a terrible teacher.

Wait….hold those freaking thestrals. "What time is it?" I asked.

"Eight," answered James, his teeth glinting as he grinned malevolently.

Bollocks. I gave him the most sinister look I could muster. "Oh, you loathsome-"

"No more adjectives, Lily, we're running late," Mum interrupted me with a strained voice while tracing her temple with her forefinger. "I'll be back at three. Tuney should come home before that. Now tell James you love him so we can leave."

I rolled my eyes. "I love you," I muttered at the boy trying not laugh in front of me.

"I know," he answered.

Grumbling to myself about the dangers of letting James Potter watch _Star Wars_, I pushed him out the door towards my mother. "Thanks for the wakeup call!" I called out to his back.

"My pleasure," replied James, pausing at the stairs to give me one last wink.

Rolling my eyes at his cheesiness and, worse, my pathetic, butterflies, blushing, dizzy, estrogen ensuing weakness for it, I shut my bedroom door.

I crawled back into my bed and slept for a few more hours before thoroughly waking up. It was Sunday and day twelve of this two-week marathon. I realized how much I had changed in less than two weeks. Twelve days ago, I had been counting down the seconds until it would be credulous enough for me to break up with James. Now, I was trying to make time slow down to avoid us parting.

Shaking my head, I walked into the bathroom and took care of what needed to be taken care of. Looking back, I was rather embarrassed about my behavior from yesterday. As much as I had tried to be pleasant, I thought the biological monster won the battle. I hoped it wasn't just me who turned into a bloody fire-breathing dragon during her time of the month.

I had once talked to Remus about it, and he said that he always felt uncontrollably irritable around the full moon. Apparently, chocolate helped. Still, he was working on a whole different cycle-one of the lunar variety.

I felt awful for Remus. He was really the most genuine person I had ever met. It wasn't that the werewolf thing bothered me or lessened my opinion of him in any way-quite the opposite, really; it was just that I knew that this stigma would follow him around for the rest of his life. Remus didn't deserve that.

When he told me-during a late patrol together last year-I remembered not knowing what to say. What does one say when she hears that type of information? _Do you want me to buy you some were-snausages? _just didn't seem to cut it. Still, at the time, I couldn't help but to envy Remus a little-not for the furriness, but for the sense of identity his condition gave him. He seemed so sure of himself, so collected, like he knew whom he really was and he wasn't ashamed of it. I wished I could have that kind of acceptance in my own life. I couldn't even get over the whole Christmas color scheme thing.

I sighed and brushed my teeth. I hoped James enjoyed the dragon breath I had been sporting this morning. I was fairly certain that Newt Scamander would have had to write a whole new edition of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ to classify what hideous monster I was in the mornings. Ahh, well, it was his own ruddy fault for waking me up.

I walked downstairs and glided into the kitchen for some breakfast. As I nibbled on my toast, I reveled in the fact that I had the house all to myself—no parents, no sister, and no boyfriend. I could run around naked! Okay, I'd never do that. What if something happened, like a fire, and I had to evacuate? I didn't even want to let people see me in my jammies-let alone starkers. I could just picture it: _Hey, Billy, little 12 year old boy from down the street. Yes, it is a little chilly this morning. _

No thank you.

Instead, I turned up the volume to my favorite muggle singer-a new bloke from America with a great voice-and screeched along to it. This only lasted for about a half hour, at which time I figured poor Calypso had suffered through enough of my wrong notes for a lifetime. Petunia had all the music genes. I had the magic ones.

I watched Callie fly around my room and flipped through my new books. They were filled with new and exciting things with which to stress over and make myself insane for the next year as I tried to be the best. Yay for type A personalities! Everyone loved some good hypertension!

After whipping myself up a quick tuna sandwich for lunch, I even attempted to start packing for school-well, if laying on your bed and willing everything to pack itself counted as an attempt. Did you reckon they invented brainless magic? That would solve all my problems.

However, when Tuney came home around two o'clock, I couldn't deny it any longer. I was going on a date with James Potter. Tonight.

I frantically paced around my room as I tried to remain calm. Yet, the questions kept pouring through my head:

_Where was he taking me?_

_What should I say?_

_If we get dinner, what do I order to not seem like a pig or a twig?_

_Do I pay?_

_Does he pay?_

_Do we both pay?_

_Was it too weird to have the girl drive because the bloke didn't even know what a car was up until a few days ago?_

_Since we were treating this as an actual date, did that make all previous encounters null and void? And if so, did that mean I wasn't supposed to kiss him? Did you kiss on the first date? Was tongue involved?_

_And most importantly, what in the name of Merlin's right testicle was I supposed to wear? _

I reminded myself to breathe and count backwards from ten. This was going to be fine. I could do this. I just had to lock in the crazy. What would James's girlfriend do? She'd shut up, dress up, and then show up. Right.

Merlin, I needed help.

Hestia would know exactly what to do in this situation. She'd been on more first dates than I could count. Every Hogsmeade there'd be a different bloke as she searched for the secret, kismet connection she was always spouting off about. She knew proper dating etiquette. What would she say?

_Lily, get a freaking grip! It's just a date, and you are gracing whichever gent seems worthy enough to have the pleasure of your company. You look fabulous, make him sweat, and you play with him. He's yours for the taking. He pays, of course. If he asks, then he pays. It's only right. Don't let him talk the whole night about himself, and eat whatever the damn hell you want. If he's got a problem with it, then you've got a problem with him. Women empowerment, Lily! Then, at the end, if you like him, and he hasn't screwed up too badly yet, kiss the bloke, softly, pulling away before it's really over, and he'll be yours for as long as you want him to be. That's the Hestia Jones guarantee._

I smiled with a pang as I thought of her. I missed my best friend so much. Yet, it was not a good sign if my inner Hestia was starting to make sense to me. Even worse, I still had no ruddy idea what to wear.

I pulled clothes out of my closet, inspected them briefly, and then threw them over my shoulder and onto the floor behind me. Everything was too clingy, too prudish, too slutty, too short, too long, too itchy, or too orange. I had nearly emptied my entire closet onto the floor when I heard the heeled clicks of my mom in the kitchen, the only room in the house with tile floor that seemed to echo throughout the entire house.

I ran down the stairs to her. I had never been happier to see my mum in all of my seventeen years. Who would have known that a mustard stained blouse and flyaway hair could be the most beautiful image of a lifetime?

"Mum, I need your help," I blurted out.

She put down her suitcase in surprise, all anxious behavior from this morning gone and replaced with reasonable Mum. "Everything okay, Lily? You look frazzled."

"I'm freaking out, Mum."

She smiled knowingly. "Is this about the big date James was telling me about in the car?"

I nodded, feeling sick to my stomach at the word.

"What's the problem?" she asked with a laugh as she yanked off her uncomfortable looking pointy shoes.

"I have no idea what to wear."

"Oh, that is a problem," she agreed.

"Help me, Mummy," I pleaded pathetically.

She walked over and pulled me into one of her priceless Mum hugs. Her familiar floral perfume made me feel safe and relaxed, all at the same time. "Let's go take a look upstairs."

Together, we picked up all the clothes from my floor and returned them to my closet while searching for possible date wear. Unfortunately, when the last shirt was hung back up, we were back at square one. "You really need to get some new clothes," Mum decided with a laugh.

"Mum!" I squeaked. "Not helping here."

"Right, sorry," she said quickly while holding back her laughter. Apparently, not only am I mentally unstable when I'm about to go on a date with James Potter, I'm hysterically funny, as well. Neat-o. "Don't you have anything a little nicer? I could have sworn you had the perfect outfit."

I gestured to my reassembled closet dejectedly. "Where?" I asked.

Mum snapped her fingers. "The dress," she whispered momentously.

I stared at her blankly. "Dress, what dress? Mum, what are you talking about? This is no time for imaginary dresses. We only have about an hour and a half to turn me back into a normal, sane person before James gets here."

Mum sighed at my dramatics. "Honestly, Lily," she scolded before explaining. "The dress we bought at the mall during our spa weekend."

Smehkaleen.

I hugged her on the spot. "You're a genius, Mum!" I commended her gleefully.

She smirked knowingly. "Who do you think you get it from? Your father? Please."

I grinned and turned back to my closet. "Where is it, though? I would have seen it already."

"It's in my closet because a certain stubborn daughter of mine told me she wouldn't need it and she didn't want it taking up space in her closet."

I balked sheepishly. "Love you, Mum," I offered lamely.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, let's go get that dress."

Neatly squeezed into my dress with a magic sticking charm placed on it so that I wouldn't be pulling the top up all night-stupid strapless dresses-I was feeling a lot calmer. Mum helped me put on my makeup. She was an eyeshadow guru.

I was removing all mascara clumpiness from my eyelashes when Mum gasped suddenly with realization.

"What are you going to do with your hair?" she asked.

I reached up to touch the knotty bun I had hoisted onto the top of my head that morning. "Oh, I knew this date thing was a bad idea," I groaned.

"No, it's going to be fine," Mum assured me, though her voice sounded a bit strained. "You still have half an hour left."

"Ruddy hell. Half an hour?"

"Okay, we need to call in some reinforcements. Petunia!" She got up and walked out of my room to go bang on Petunia's door. "Petunia!"

Five minutes, and what I could only presume was some generous bartering, later, Petunia came into my room with a curling iron, her weapon of choice, in hand.

"Tuney's going to fix your hair for you, Lily," Mum said as she trailed in behind Tuney.

I smiled at my sister in thanks. I could do simple charms, but I never was very good at styling hair. Tuney, though, she was a master. She had much more patience for it than I did. I just wanted something fast, which meant that it usually looked like crap.

Petunia pulled out a chair. "Okay, sit down."

I winced as she brushed my hair out. "Merlin, Tuney, do you have to be so rough?"

"It's not my fault that you don't comb your hair thoroughly enough and have knots," she told me.

I kept my mouth shut except for the occasional hissing when the curling iron got too close to my ear.

"Why are you freaking out so much anyway, Lily?" Petunia asked.

"James and I are going on our first date," I told her, my voice squeaking at the end as her bony fingers yanked on my hair.

She laughed snottily. "You mean, he hasn't taken you out on a date in the, what, six months that you've been dating him? Nice catch, Lils."

"Is that true, Lily?" Mom asked.

I mentally cursed at my mistake. I couldn't believe I let that slip. "Of course not!" I covered quickly. "I meant that this is our first date outside of the magic world."

"Oh," said Petunia simply as I saw my mum nod with comprehension in the reflection of my mirror.

"Any tips?" I asked eagerly.

"Make sure he opens doors for you," said Mum. "I know you girls want equality and all that, but it's just plain manners. I hate it when boys don't act gentlemanly. If he's not willing to do it, then he doesn't deserve you."

I smiled. "Thanks, Mum." It was so easy for her. She had married Dad because he was the first bloke to ever ask her to dance. I remembered asking her to repeat the story to me endlessly as a child. It had all seemed so romantic in its simplicity.

"Though, it's James, so I don't think you'll have to worry," concluded Mum, sounding like a lovestruck teenager.

Of course, she might drop my father in a blink of an eye if James ever suddenly became available. Bullocks.

"Bring breath mints in your purse," Petunia told me practically. "You can suck on one after dinner so that you don't scare him off later."

"Huh, thanks Tuney."

"Yeah, well," she muttered, tugging at my hair.

"Freaking-OWW!" I screeched in pain as I reached out to grab my head.

Petunia slapped my hand away. "Don't touch," she ordered.

"You're murdering my head," I complained dramatically.

"Stop whining. Beauty is pain."

When she stuck some bobby pins in to hold my hair back-so hard that I think she bypassed my skull and went straight for the brain the way the ancient Egyptians did to embalm people-I had that weird reflex thing when it all hurts so much that I laugh and cry at the same time. It was the weirdest phenomenon. All I knew was that it made my face all red and splotchy.

"Quit it, Lily. You're going to ruin your makeup," Tuney admonished me as she sprayed my hair a bit to keep it from falling out. "There," she announced as she stood back to admire her work. "You're all ready."

I grinned at her. "Thanks, Tuney."

She shrugged. "Whatever, freak," she replied with a slight curl of her pursed lips.

"You look lovely, Lily. Grab your purse. James and your father should be here soon."

Stuffing tampons, breath mints, and some lipstick into my purse, I felt a rush of gratitude to the women of the Evans household. I had never really considered myself a girly girl. I was not one to sit in front of the mirror all day and obsess over my complexion. But for some reason, having them there and doing all those stupid clichéd things made me feel so happy. I loved my mum. And I loved my sister.

I pulled out a pair of pale yellow flats and slipped them on.

"You're not going to where those ugly shoes are you?" Petunia sneered.

Well, I loved my mum, at least.

I paced around the kitchen as I waited for James to come. I willed away any and all irrational fears as I desperately wished I had gone out with a few boys to Hogsmeade. Even if they had been complete fuddy duddies, at least I would have had the experience. Exactly two minutes and thirty two seconds after six, the door bell rang.

My heart racing, I forced myself to wait a few seconds before I walked slowly to the door. I opened it to find…...my father.

"Dad? Where's James?" I squeaked, looking past his shoulder for a tall, moderately—okay, very attractive fellow.

Dad chuckled weakly. "Nice to see you too, Lils."

I bit my lip. "Oh, sorry, Daddy." I gave him a big hug. "How are you? How was work?"

"Fine and fine," he answered as he stepped through the threshold and wiped his feet onto the mat so that Mum wouldn't yell at him later for caking mud into the house-he was well trained. "James and I skipped out a bit early to take care of a few things."

"And where is James?" I pried.

"Getting ready. He'll only be a few minutes," answered Dad, loosening his tie.

"Okay," I replied as I sat down at the kitchen table.

Dad sat down next to me and placed a hand on my knee to stop my leg's nervous tapping. "I'll never understand teenage girls," Dad told me with a smile.

I grinned at him. "Me either," I answered truthfully.

Mum, changed into a pair of pants and a loose shirt, barged into the kitchen then with Petunia at her heels. Oh, Merlin, they were all going to see me off. Well, he'd asked for it.

The doorbell rang a few minutes of agonizingly slow anticipation later. I jumped up. "I've got it," I announced to the kitchen inhabitants, who were muffling their snorts of laughter behind their hands.

Taking deep breaths and smoothing my white and floral dress out, I walked over to the door and opened it. "James."

"Lily," he said as his eyes swept me in. "You look…." his voice faltered, and my mum cut in as she rushed into the hallway.

"Ahh, there you are, James. Okay, well, have fun kids!"

Dad walked over to the door and eyed James dubiously. It was both insanely adorable and thoroughly disgusting that he was putting on the territorial father act when he had just driven James home after a day of male bonding not three minutes ago. "Have her home by eleven, son."

Merlin, we weren't really going to do the parental sizing up, were we? Complete with curfew? Were you kidding me? He was bloody living in our guest room!

"Yes, sir," agreed James with a nod.

"Twelve," I argued.

"Eleven thirty," he countered.

"Forty-five?" I pressed.

"Lily," Dad warned.

I grinned. "Twelve, it is, Dad!" I kissed his cheek before he could say anything else. "Bye, guys!" I said over my shoulder at my parent's confused expressions and Petunia's proud grin as I grabbed James's hand and sped right out of that familial nightmare.

My face was bright red by the time we made it to the car. "Sorry about that. I've been trying to get them committed for ages." I took the opportunity to give him a once-over. He was wearing a crisp white dress shirt and a thin black tie with black trousers. It was an extremely classic look when combined with his dark, messy hair. It made my palms sweat.

James shrugged casually. "Just first date stuff, I suppose," he said, trying to appear aloof except for the wide grin that spread across his face.

Yep, we were both way too excited about this. Bloody hell! People did this all the time! It wasn't that big of a deal. Oh, I was such a headcase.

"So are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked.

James shook his head. "I told you that it's a surprise."

"Well, I kind of need to where it is where going if I'm going to drive there. Unless, we're apparating," I realized.

"Nope, no apparating. We're getting there in true muggle fashion."

"Then how?" I asked, but I was distracted by James opening the passenger door for me. "What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Being a good date?" he replied simply, as though he was explaining basic addition to a college graduate.

"Don't you have this backwards? I'm driving."

"No, you're not," dissented James, taking car keys out of his pocket. "I'm old fashioned. The bloke drives."

"You don't know how to drive!" I shrieked, crossing my arms in defiance. "You don't even have a license!"

"Wrong on both accounts, love. Not your usual standard," laughed James, obviously enjoying my astonishment.

I opened my mouth to argue, but no words came out. He walked over to me and guided me into the car. Shocked, I didn't resist.

James quickly flounced over to the right side and started the ignition. My stomach rolled over in my stomach.

"I don't know how I feel about this," I told him uneasily.

"Relax, Lily, driving really isn't that hard," James assured me.

Not that hard? It had taken me all summer last year to figure it out! And I had almost failed the test-almost, Lily Evans did not fail tests.

"That's what you think," I told him loudly. "You've never even been driving before!"

James sighed, pulled at his hair, and put his hand on my knee to calm down my hysterics. "Yes, I have. Your dad's been teaching me for the past week or so. I even took that muggle test today. I'm good to go," said James, pulling his license out of his pocket to show me.

I marveled at the little photo of him on the card. "You didn't just transfigure that?" I asked.

He laughed and put the identification back into his pocket. "Trust me, Lily."

"I don't want you to kill me."

"Never," he promised. "I'll save you."

I rolled my eyes. "Romantic crap is not going to make me feel less freaked out."

"Lily, take a potion," he told me as he put the car into reverse.

"Oh, Merlin," I chanted to myself over and over again as I squeezed my eyes shut and ducked my head down. This was quite a role reversal.

James sighed loudly, and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. I relaxed into the soft kiss and forgot all about my imminent death by head-on truck collision. When he pulled back, and I opened my eyes, I saw that we were on the road.

"You tricked me!" I screeched.

"Yes, I did," he agreed.

"Potter!"

"Do you really want to distract me right now, Evans?" asked James, his eyes never leaving the road in front of us.

I growled at him. "I can't believe you did that," I told him. "That was not covered in the permit manual!"

"Yeah, well, it's the only way to shut you up," he said with a smirk.

I slouched into my seat and pouted silently. He really was a good driver. He signaled correctly and took his turns at the right speed. Actually, it was kind of nice after a while. I felt like a real girl with a real boyfriend on a real date. Hell, I guessed I was.

Eventually, with much wincing on my part, James parked the car and sprinted over to my side so that he could open my door for me.

"I can get it myself," I told him.

"I know, but indulge me," he said with a grin. "Besides, you look too radiant tonight to have to do anything yourself."

I rolled my eyes. "James, we're on a date. It means I like you. You can cut it out with the perfect gentleman stuff and radiant rubbish and just say you want to shag me with this dress on."

"I want to shag you with that dress on," he admitted. Then, his lips curled into his trademark smirk. "Well, actually, the dress would be off at that point."

"Good, we're back to inappropriate sexual innuendo. Right, now where are we?"

James grabbed my hand. "Lily, we are going out for a nice muggle dinner."

I smiled. It was perfect, but I couldn't tell him that. "All right," I allowed demurely.

Grinning like an idiot, James grabbed my hand and guided us into an unfamiliar restaurant down the street. It was quaint inside-obviously upscale, but not too fancy that I felt overwhelmed.

"Good evening," the hostess greeted us. "How many?"

"We have reservations for two," James told her. "Under Evans."

I shot him a quizzical look.

"Your dad helped me out a lot," he admitted into my ear. "He set up the reservations. I'm still not so good with the telephone yet."

I nodded. "So that's what you two were whispering about yesterday."

"I was asking him for help," replied James as we were escorted out the doors and to our table.

It was a cozy, round table outside on the deck. A few couples were already dining quietly together. James sent me a pointed look that told me to behave as he pulled out my chair for me.

I stuck my tongue out at him but didn't say anything else about it. If he wanted to play Lancelot, I wasn't going to ruin it for him—just as long as he didn't get it in his head to start fighting dragons next. I wasn't a damsel.

"Your waitress should be with you in a few moments," the hostess informed us diplomatically before handing us our menus and walking away.

I settled into my chair as James sat down opposite of me. "So," I began, sucking a bit on my teeth as I said the word. I looked around at the twinkling lights hung across the black terrace as a soft classical piece began to play from a few violinists in the corner. "This is all a little surreal," I admitted.

"Really?" asked James, amused. "I thought it was dinner. You see, Lily, you order food, and then they bring it to you. Like magic, really."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, twat, you know what I mean."

James laughed, and I couldn't help but to chuckle a bit before a silence fell upon us.

"So," he said slowly. "This is a little awkward."

"Agreed."

"You know, Sirius has a theory about awkward situations?"

"Oh, really?" I gazed up at him as I flipped open my menu.

"Yep. He says that if you acknowledge that a situation is awkward and then say 'hippogriff,' it breaks the ice because nothing is weirder than bowing down to an eagle that's shaped like a horse."

I rolled my eyes as a light snort escaped my nose. "Hippogriff," I said.

"Hippogriff," James agreed.

And just like that, we didn't run out of things to talk about the entire way through my chicken alfredo, after which, I made sure to pop some mints into my mouth while James was tying his shoe.

As we were waiting for the check to come-which I knew I wouldn't be allowed to pay for because of Captain Chauvinist, James ruffled his hair and watched some of the couples swaying to the music on a small dance floor on the side of the deck.

I knew what he was going to do as he walked over to me.

"No," I refused pointblank.

"Aww, come on, Lily," pleaded James with irresistible eyes.

"Not even if you were Dumbledore," I told him.

He pouted but then looked at me wickedly. "Dumbledore, love? Is it the beard thing?" he asked. "Just morbid curiosity, of course."

I shook my head. "No, James."

"I won't complain if you step on my toes."

"And if I break them?" I asked, thinking about my dismal dancing abilities.

"Then I'll heal them with my magic wand," he told me sardonically with a wry smile as he pulled me to my feet.

I slumped over to the wooden dance floor with him. A light jazzy piece was playing. James positioned his hand on my lower back, and I awkwardly placed mine on his shoulder. He took a few steps forward at the same time I did, and we clonked heads.

"Ow!" I yelped as he grunted "Bugger," at the same time.

We tried again, but our feet kept getting all tangled up.

"I thought you were supposed to be good at this," I accused. "Didn't you tell my mum you took ballroom dancing lessons?"

James sighed. "It's been a while. Plus, I was never very good at it."

"Well, that makes one thing," I grumbled as we tried again.

In a poor attempt at a spin, I had accidentally whacked James in the face with my elbow. We were the most pathetic couple there, but the old, white haired couples around us cooed with delight at how "gosh darn adorable" we were.

My toes were in pain by the time the next song came on. It was a slow one.

"Thank Merlin," I exclaimed as I gave up on any rhythmic coordination and just wrapped my arms around James's neck. He seemed to get the idea and pulled me closer to him as he let his hands rest on my hips.

"I think our toes will be safe for now," James whispered to me.

"They better be," I warned him. "I can't believe you lied about being able to dance."

"Well, I wanted to impress a pretty girl," he said.

"Trust me, Mum was impressed."

He chuckled and then leaned down to sniff my hair. "This is nice," he told me.

I snuggled my head into the crook of his neck and silently agreed. I breathed in his familiar scent that made me feel so right and sighed. James kissed the top of my head and slowly rubbed circles against my back as we both swayed—on the upbeat-to the music.

Too soon, when the song ended and a fast jive that would have meant mass homicide began, we giggled back to our table and James paid for our dinner with some muggle money that he had mysteriously procured. We walked through the restaurant and out towards the car.

"I had a good time," I told him. "You're a good date, Potter."

James raised an eyebrow at me incredulously. "You don't seriously think this was the end, do you?"

I shrugged. "What else are we supposed to do?"

James grabbed my hand. "C'mon," he urged as he ran behind a building.

I had to sprint to keep up with him. "James, what's going on?"

"Hold on to me," he ordered. "And close your eyes."

I had barely managed to fasten my arms around his neck when I felt myself being tugged about the middle. Wind rushed around me, and I landed with a thump on the ground.

"Ugh," I groaned as I eyed the damp grass all around me. I saw James rolling his sleeves up to his elbows in front of me. "You could have warned me that you were going to apparate."

"But then—" he insisted.

I pulled at my skirt, which had puffed up in odd places. "I know, I know, you and your bloody surprises. Help me up."

He walked over and grabbed my waiting hand to pull me up. James grinned at me and then patted down my hair, which had probably lost Petunia's miracle touch by now.

"What are we doing here?" I asked. "Where is here?"

"It's a place I've gone to since I was little," he told me as he guided us along a stone path, his brandished wand lighting the way. "My mum has a fascination with a certain animal, and she made my father buy her a present when they first married as a kind of incentive. Apparently, she wanted to make him jump through one last hoop. Of course, Dad would never say 'no' to anything-Mum's so pushy. And you already know about our rather peculiar financial situation. So now we have a bit of a hideaway for them to live."

I looked out at the dark trees and leafy bushes surrounding us with supreme curiosity. "What type of animal?" I asked.

James grinned at me and stopped in his tracks. "Be very slow and very quiet," he instructed in a hushed voice.

"James?" I asked, confused.

He pulled back a large leafy barrier, and my eyes were assaulted with a blinding light.

"Unicorns," I breathed as I felt all the air from my lungs disappear.

"Yeah," voiced James, suddenly beside me. "Mum loves them. She thinks they're beautiful."

"They are," I sighed.

They were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. A mother, her white fur glistening in the moonlight-a white so startlingly beautiful that it seemed to reinvent the color- and her baby, a tiny little thing, still a pure gold. They both had golden hooves, but only the mother had a long spindly horn that reminded me of the fancy lollipops I used to eat on vacation; the foal's would grow once he turned four. That would be after his fur changed to silver. The leaves seemed to glow from just being in their presence, and I felt a pull at my chest at such astonishing beauty.

"We're one of the only families to keep unicorns," James whispered to me. "They're not pets, and we don't pretend that they belong to us. But we give them a place to stay that's safe. Mum worries about them becoming endangered because of the value of their blood."

"But it's cursed," I said in horror.

"To some people, Lily, it doesn't matter," James replied back gravely.

I stared back at the creatures before me and could not fathom how anyone could ever hurt anything so glorious. "Can I go closer?"

"Slow," James told me. "I have to stay back here. They don't like boys as much."

"I remember," I snapped back playfully at him. "I took the class, too."

"And paid more attention than I did," he teased with a wink. He pulled a few sugar cubes out of pocket and handed them to me. "Go ahead," he urged.

Almost inhumanly aware of the sound of every leaf crunching under my flats, I painstakingly inched towards the mother. She was still about fifteen meters away, but she eyed me with fierce protection of her young foal.

"It's okay," I assured her. "I'm not going to hurt either of you."

The mother lessened the severity of her stance, but I could tell she was still being vigilant. I slowed down my movements even more. Shakily, I held out the sugar cubes in front of me as a type of peace offering. As I neared closer, I bent down and placed one on the floor. The mother moved closer and sniffed it. Satisfied with what she smelled, she quickly stuck out her tongue and ate it.

I moved the slightest bit closer and put down another cube. Again, she ate it up. I put down two more and the baby followed his mother this time. Trying me luck, I slowly walked over to the majestic mother. She didn't do anything at all but stare at the remaining sugar cubes in my hand with big blue eyes. I held out my hand, and her tongue licked my palm as she ate up the rest of the sugar. I giggled at the wetness.

"Hey," I whispered to her softly. She raised her eyes up to me, and I beamed at her. "Hi," I repeated, at a loss for any words that could describe the happiness I felt. She nuzzled her face into my hand, and I felt her smooth, sleek skin under my fingertips. It was like touching rain.

I hesitated briefly, but she didn't seem to mind my touch. I let my fingertips softly glide up her face to trace her bright horn, which was surprisingly hard for such a soft, gentle looking creature. A soft, songlike hum emitted from her mouth, and I grinned.

The baby nudged my leg with his nose, and I bent down onto my knees to look at him. He had the same blue eyes, but they looked melted surrounded by all that gold. My heart went out to him. "Hey, little buddy," I greeted him. He sneezed into my hand, and I laughed freely.

After what only seemed like minutes, James called out to my softly. "Lily."

I turned my smile away from the baby to look at James. "Yeah?" I cooed.

"We should go. It's getting late, and I promised your dad I'd have you home."

Suddenly remembering there was another whole world outside of this secluded patch of trees, I patted each unicorn one last time before forcing myself away. I crept back to where James was standing.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome," he replied back simply.

I looked over my shoulder one last time as we turned the corner. Once out of the trees, I felt some of the magic begin to dissipate, but it was replaced by a blazing excitement. "James, that was amazing! I saw a unicorn—two! And I touched them!"

"Yes, you did!"

"Eee!" I squealed as I reached out to hug him. "You're amazing. This place is amazing. What is this place?"

"It's a house," he told me. "See, right over there." He pointed out a huge house, silhouetted by the night sky.

"Whose is it?" I asked. "How come they let your family use their property?"

James reached up to tangle his hands in his hair. "Well, we didn't need permission because that's our house," he answered with trepidation.

I blinked. "Seriously? You live here?"

"Err, yeah."

"But you only have three people in your family! That house is massive!"

"And house-elves," James reminded me. "They're part of the family, too."

"Yeah, but they're tiny!" I exclaimed. "They probably get lost for days in that house."

"Nope," James disagreed with a smile. "That's only Mum. They are actual quite capable with directions—all aspects of life, really."

"Can we go inside?"

"How about on our next date," James told me. "I still have to drive you back home."

"Next date, Potter?" I teased. "Isn't that a bit presumptuous of you?"

He ruffled his hair nervously. "There is going to be another one, isn't there?" he asked anxiously.

"Untwist your knickers, Potter. Of course, there's going to be another one. Though, how you'll top tonight, I have no idea."

James beamed.

After apparating back to the restaurant, the drive home passed quickly in a pleasantly peaceful manner. James and I were content to just hold hands as he drove us back to the house. I didn't even complain about his driving.

"We're home," James announced as he cut the engine.

"Yep," I agreed, glancing out at the familiar brick house.

Not quite ready to go inside just yet, we lingered around the swings. I sat down, and James stood behind me, pushing me back and forth. He leaned down to bring his lips to my ear, and a shiver of excitement went down my spine.

"Lily, I have to say something."

I froze and stood up to face him, the seat of the swing separating us. "Something?" I asked with trepidation.

He pulled at his hair. "Lily, I've tried really, really hard not to do anything too quickly. This is one of those opportunities that change everything. I wouldn't let myself screw it up by freaking you out. I know this whole thing needed some getting used to. I was just this annoying bloke who bugged the hell out of you at school. You needed time to change that opinion of me. Only, I've never needed that. You thought it was so decent of me to play the part of your boyfriend, but it was really only selfishness on my part. It's all I've ever wanted. For the past six years, it was what I wanted."

Past tense. "What changed?" I asked quietly.

"Everything," he told me sincerely. "You, me. I'm ashamed of it now, but I had this idea of who you were in my head. I thought you were this person I had fantasized about, the perfect girl, but then I came here, and I found out that I was completely wrong."

I winced. "Thanks," I grumbled.

"No, you misunderstand me! Lily, you're funny and brilliant and stunning and the grouchiest person in the morning I have ever met. And I realized that I care more about the real you that murders alarm clocks and bickers with her sister than whoever it was I've always thought you were. Seeing you at home with your family, it's just reassured what I've known all along. So, I don't care if it's too fast, or if I'm expecting too much too soon. I just don't care. I can't not say it any longer. I love you, Lily."

I inhaled quickly and bit my lip. I felt the need to say something back-only I couldn't. I couldn't say it. I was too confused. "James-"

He put his fingers up to my lips. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything," James said understandingly. "I just needed you to know. I love you, Lily Evans."

I yanked his tie forward and pulled his face towards me. I kissed him with everything I couldn't say aloud. I reached for his hair and kissed him through the swing handles. I kissed him with every bit of emotion I had inside.

Panting, we pulled away. His face was more heartbreakingly beautiful than any unicorn. "I can't wait till we get back to Hogwarts when ties will be a more frequent part of my wardrobe," he laughed.

I bit my lip, and I knew. I knew, and I didn't want to.

I moved my hands up to his face and let my fingertips slide into his hair as my thumbs caressed his cheekbones. I stared at his hazel eyes through his spectacles for a few seconds before I leaned in closer to him. My lips met his, and I tried to convince myself that as long as our lips continued to touch, nothing would ever have to change.

* * *

A/N: hello, awesomes! i struggled a bit with trying to remember something funny for you this week. but then i remembered the obvious. yesterday, my nineteen year-old sister invited up all of the neighborhood kids and threw a birthday party. for her cat. and the sad thing is, this is the third time that's happened. speaking of celebrations, happy anniversary, charm!  
anyways, i hope the date didn't disappoint. i felt like there was a lot of pressure on this one (it helped me feel more like james as i tried to impress the girl). i love all of you guys, and i can't thank you enough for your tremendous support through the forums, dobby nominations, and reviews. it really brightens my day. but, we have a slight problem! the queue is going to be closed, so it's going to be two weeks before i next update for you guys! (time for molly to regroup and possibly get some college application stuff done.) i strongly recommend watching "a very potter musical" to tide you over. it's hysterical. thank you all! i hope you have a week that is just as beautiful as all of you are!

sleepily yours,  
molly

Modern Molly Update: hello, guys. i wish i was more chipper today, but alas, i am not. things have not been going that well lately. nothing to get worried about. still, it puts a damper on things. i really do appreciate all the feedback that i've been getting. to be frank, reading reviews has been the one thing i have to look forward to. thank you.


	15. Decisively Indecisive

_Previously on Boyfriend:_

_I bit my lip, and I knew. I knew, and I didn't want to. _

_I moved my hands up to his face and let my fingertips slide into his hair as my thumbs caressed his cheekbones. I stared at his hazel eyes through his spectacles for a few seconds before I leaned in closer to him. My lips met his, and I tried to convince myself that as long as our lips continued to touch, nothing would ever have to change._

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Decisively Indecisive**

* * *

_"Indecision may or may not be my problem." - Jimmy Buffet_

* * *

"_Lily!" screamed Hestia. "Lily? Where are you?"_

_I laughed as I pounced in front of my best friend's face. "I'm right here, silly," I told her._

_However, instead of Hestia's laugh and sarcastic remark, I was greeted with a look of worry. "Lily?" she called again._

_I rolled my eyes and waved my arms in front of my face. "Hello?" I called with a laugh. "Earth to Hestia? It's me. Can you still see, or did that Rico Suave of yours steal your sight along with your virtue?" I teased._

_Hestia did not seem to hear me. In fact, her blue eyes passed right through me. "Lily? Come back!"_

"_Hestia, I'm right here," I told her as frustration grew within me. "Merlin, get your bloody eyes checked!"_

"_Lily, I can't see you!"_

"_I'm right ruddy here," I told her as I reached out to grab her arm. However, as I reached for her, she disappeared into mist. I looked down at my arm, and I startled when I saw that I was enchained. I grabbed the heavy, black chain and followed it until I reached the end, where James, too, was attached._

"_James?" I asked in confusion._

"_All right, Evans!" he greeted me with a beatific expression. His eyes turned to slits, and his teeth, which were employed in a crooked smile, began to rot. _

_The chains began to wrap around my entire body, suffocating me. _

_James laughed as he watched me struggle. "Will you go out with me?"_

"Ahh," I breathed as I opened my eyes. My pulse raced as I wiped the sweat away from my brow. I breathed shallowly in and out as images of my nightmare flashed before my eyes.

It was too early to wake up. I knew that. The sun had barely risen over the horizon, and the birds were a bit too lethargic to sing their morning melodies just yet. I didn't need to look at the clock on my nightstand-which I had specifically made sure did not have an alarm when I bought it three years ago on a shopping spree with Mum-that it was far too early for me to wake up.

Still, I was awake. Oh, bloody hell, I was awake. And I couldn't blame it on my mum or my sister or James or even alarm clocks. Something inside of me was determined to prevent my conscious from slipping into subland. I hadn't meant for that to sound kinky, or something.

Merlin, I needed sleep. Only, I could not sleep when I kept waking up from strange nightmares.

That didn't mean that I didn't try. I gave it my best effort. I tossed and turned in my sheets, fluffing my pillow and shutting my eyes as closed as I could get them. I counted sheep, and when that didn't work, I counted flobberworms. I imagined myself in Professor Binns's class and then pictured Vernon droning on and on about drills. No dice. Not even Vernon Dursley was boring enough to make my senses dull. I was a lost cause.

Grumpily, I staggered into the bathroom and emptied my persistent bladder. Blindly, I washed my hands and then brushed the morning muck out of my mouth until all that remained was the strong peppermint taste that felt too potent this early in the morning. I washed my face in an effort to get my drooping eyelids to stay open. As I wiped the water away with a towel, I let my fingers run through my hair.

It was too long. The ends were frayed and split and no longer felt smooth, but rather wiry and harsh, to my touch. I wanted to grow out my hair. My plan was to get it to my waist by the time of graduation. Yet, as I looked at it now, still in that awkward between phase in the midst of short and long, I just wanted to hack it all off.

It was a ridiculous urge. I knew that as soon as I did it, I would regret it. I hated drastic changes, I always had. To this day, I was shocked that I had taken the news of my magic genes so well. Maybe it was that I was younger, and I had already known that normally tea pots shouldn't fly at Tuney's head when I was angry at her-though, it was rather neat. But hair was a big deal. A girl's hair could shape her whole future.

I hated bangs. I had never liked them and grew them out just as soon as my mother no longer had supreme control over my hair. Still, I liked the mysterious look they gave to people whose eyes were always slighted covered by hair. I knew that a bit of side fringe was not a good idea. I knew it, and yet, there I was thinking about it anyway. It simply would not do. If I cut my hair to my shoulders, I would just reach out for the missing inches, recalling better days when I had more opportunities available to me. I didn't want to be tied down to one thing.

No, I would just keep things the way they were for now, split ends and all. Then, later, my hair would grow down to my waist, and I would finally have what I wanted, what I had planned, and this whole thing would be written off as a moment of doubt, that I eventually got over through mental perseverance.

Looking away from the mirror, I strolled down to the kitchen with a bit more control of my motor functions than before. The kitchen was still dark because I was the only one up-and that included the sun. I decided not to turn on the lights because maybe I'd get lucky and fall asleep right into my frosted flakes.

I yanked open the refrigerator, and after shoving aside some of Petunia's disgusting hummus, I pulled out the orange juice and poured myself a glass. It tasted all wrong to my minty tongue, and I grimaced in disgust.

"Bleh," I groaned.

"That's a nice way to greet someone. I feel special," laughed a deep voice.

I turned around an opened my bleary eyes to see the intruder. "Oh, it's you," I grumbled.

"Morning, Lily," replied James cheerfully as he walked over to kiss me quickly.

I pushed his body away and was disgusted to find a layer of sweat remaining on my fingers from the contact with his soaked t-shirt. "Merlin, what were you doing, bathing in sweat? The key is to get it off, not put it on, Potter."

He chuckled and ran his hair through his wet hair, which was sticky to his forehead in, even though I was too tired to notice such things, an oddly attractive manner. "I was running."

I put down the box of cereal I had been holding in repulsion. "Why?" I asked, wrinkling my nose in distaste.

"Because it's good for you," he explained patronizingly. "Exercise, love. Though, I realize it's a foreign concept to you."

I rolled my eyes. "I exercise," I argued.

"Oh, really?" he asked with amusement.

"I have to walk down the stairs to eat, don't I?" I asked cheekily.

He grinned. "Right, love."

"So you woke up to go running this morning?"

"Every morning," he replied back. "I've got to stay in shape for Quidditch."

"You fly on a broom!" I exclaimed. "It does all the work for you! It's enchanted!"

"Well, there's more to it than that," he said defensively.

"Sure there is," I dismissed. "Doesn't seem to be a good enough reason to wake up so bloody early to go running, of all things," I added with repugnance.

James shrugged. "I like it. It helps to deal with my nervous energy. I like to run places, reaching further every time. It's good for my overall health and longevity, as well."

I sighed. James was a planner; I knew that. He was always thinking of the future, while I couldn't' get past the present. I lived in the moment, impulsive. James had every little thing meticulously mapped out and written down. I frowned. His ideology led to much lower blood pressure. Still, James Potter was everything that I was not: a jogger and a morning person. "I didn't know you were a health nut," I said finally.

He grinned at me. "What morning person isn't?"

I groaned. "Don't even say the word 'morning.'"

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked.

"Understatement of the year," I answered.

"Well, my dad has a few connections with the Ministry. He knows the Sand Man. I'll try to find out what he can do for you."

I stared at him in puzzlement.

"I'm kidding," he said finally.

I hit his arm. "Prat," I accused before examining the wetness on my hand. Wiping it down on his shorts, I gave him the darkest look I could muster. "Take a shower. You smell."

"Like the first rain on a fresh spring morning?" he offered hopefully.

"Like feet," I told him dryly.

"The feet of Godric Gryffindor," he exclaimed triumphantly.

"The feet of Urg the Unclean," I countered.

James raised a hand to his heart as his face took on a wounded expression. "Lily," he gasped.

"You asked for it," I replied.

"Still, a History of Magic reference? That cuts deep, love. Anxious for school on Wednesday?"

I sighed at the thought of waking up early again after a stressful night's sleep of fretful dreams about imaginary essay topics due the next day. "Hardly," I replied. "Though, I am looking forward to having James back. I'm not sure where he went."

"He's right here, love."

I squinted at him teasingly. "I can't see you. There's too much perspiration."

He inched closer to me with mischief alight in his eyes. "You should get your eyes checked," he said.

Thinking of my dream with Hestia, I frowned. To cover up my thoughts, I quickly added, "I'm not the one with glasses-AHH!" I shrieked as he enveloped me into a bone-crushing hug that lifted me off the ground. I pounded my fists into his back. "Get offa me you big, buffoon!"

"Don't I smell good, Lily?"

I had been holding my breath. No way was I in the mood to smell that. "Let me down!"

He laughed and rubbed his sweaty face against my neck. I kicked him in the shin.

"Ouch! Lily!" he squealed like a little girl as he put me down in shock.

I took advantage of his pain to push him away from me. "You are the biggest git to ever weasel his way into my life," I told him forcefully.

He grinned cheekily at me. "See? I'm smart too," he replied with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. "Go take a shower, Potter."

"Anything for you, Evans," he teased as he whipped off his shirt to throw it at me.

Surprisingly, I caught it right in front of my face instinctually despite the double-take that occurred when I saw his chest bare for me to ogle. Ignoring the sight before me, I flung it back at him with a squeal. "You're gross."

James laughed as he left the kitchen. "Love you, too, Lily."

I frowned. I hadn't said I loved him. Assuming berk.

After washing my hands repeatedly, I poured myself some cereal and ate it slowly as the alertness from my verbal sparring began to wear off. However, after I put my bowl and spoon into the dishwasher, my mum came downstairs, and I had to prepare for yet another bout of conversation at a much too early hour.

Mum, fretting with her hair, tightened her robe as she walked towards the kitchen counter and started when she saw me. "Lily, what are you doing up at this hour? It's only six. I don't remember you or anyone saying something about this morning."

I sighed. "That's because there is nothing. Nothing but my stupid brain's inability to stop going a kilometer a minute," I added in a mumbled undertone.

"Oh, all right, then. You had me worried there for a second," said Mum, looking quite relieved as she put some water in the tea kettle and then turned on the stovetop.

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"You'll understand someday when you have a husband and a job and two teenage daughters with teenage boyfriends," she promised me.

"Can't wait," I deadpanned.

"Oh, it's the best," she replied back with the same cynical tone. She turned her head to look at something, and I followed her gaze to the front door.

"What are you doing up so early?" I asked her suspiciously.

She shrugged too casually. "Nothing, just been waking up a tad earlier than usual lately."

"Uh-huh," I murmured, unconvinced.

"Say, has James shown up this morning yet?" she asked a bit too keenly.

"Yes," I told her slowly. "He just went upstairs to shower."

I thought I heard her curse quietly under her breath. My eyes widened. "Mum!" I shrieked scandalously. "Are you waking up early to see James?"

She tugged at her robe sheepishly. "No," she obviously lied.

"Mum!"

"What?" she asked defensively. "An old woman can't enjoy a little bit of eye candy every now and then?"

"Mum!"

"Plus, sometimes he'll get so sweaty that he takes his shirt off," she continued without seeming to notice my interruption in her menopausal trance.

I put my hands over my ears. "I'm not listening. I'm not listening. You did not just say that," I told myself as I willed my brain to believe it.

"Oh, relax, Lily. I'm not going to steal your boyfriend," Mum told me with a laugh. "Even though he has such nice pectorals-and that stomach," she added wistfully.

"You just wait till I tell Daddy about this," I threatened.

She laughed. "Go right ahead," she told me. "Maybe that will inspire him to go on morning runs, too. Now, if you want to see a fine specimen of a man, you don't have to look much further than your father. James isn't the only bloke around here that looks good all nice and sweaty."

I wrinkled my nose. "Eww, mum. Dad's my dad! And he's old!"

"Oh, Lily, you have no idea," Mum told me as she launched into a description of my father's body that was so disturbing I could not fully register the details in my brain because I was working too hard on not throwing up.

"When did it become okay for you to scar me for life with this stuff, Mum?" I whined.

"About the time you came home with a boyfriend of your own, dear," she answered. "You're growing up, Lily. Soon you and James will have your own children to emotionally damage."

"Please, for the love of my poor nerves, stop, Mum," I begged as I tried very hard not to think about any offspring that James and I might, I mean would never, have.

She grinned widely. "Oh, Lily, you're too easy to tease."

"Doesn't stop you from doing it. I mean, doesn't it ever just get old?" I asked.

"Nope," Mum replied cheekily. The tea kettle whistled, and Mum shut the stove off and poured some of the scalding water into a mug.

"Well, as glad as I am that you and Daddy are still disgustingly and hormonally in love, I really wish you'd stop talking about it."

Mum sniggered devilishly to herself as she sat down at the kitchen table. I bit my lip as I curled up on a seat next to her.

"Mum?" I asked timidly.

She finished her sip of tea and that put her mug down as she faced me anxiously. "Lily?"

"What do you say when a boy tells you he loves you?"

"Thank you, sir. I think you have a rather fine hat," said Mum in all seriousness.

I rolled my eyes. "And you're not living in the 1700s," I added with a shake of my head.

"Oh, now you tell me," she teased.

"Mother," I said testily.

"Daughter," she countered before sighing. "Lily, what is this about? Is something bothering you?"

"No, not really," I lied, not quite meeting her gaze. "Well, it's just that James said something on our date last night, and I'm not sure what to think of it."

Mum frowned with worry. "You said last night that the date went perfectly. I thought it was so sweet what he did with those unicorns," she gushed.

I sighed as I recalled the elated mood I had been in last night when I had snuck into Mum's bedroom to give her a play-by-play of our date. "It was good. I'm just not so sure about it now. I mean, I feel like he expects me to be someone I'm not. James is just so sure of everything, and I feel so confused about everything."

Mum's mouth tightened into a line. "Lily, if that boy is pressuring you to do something that you're not ready for, it doesn't matter how much he loves you. Say no. You don't have to prove your love in any way," she said testily.

My eyes widened. "No! Merlin, Mum! That's not it at all!"

She sighed in relief. "So no sex?"

I nodded. "I'm like a nun during lent," I promised her as I crossed my legs for emphasis.

She patted the top of my head. "Good girl." She sighed again. "So what is it that's troubling you?"

"Nevermind, you helped me already," I said dismissively.

"I did?" she asked in surprise. "Ten points for Mum."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to go take a shower. I got all sweaty before."

Mum raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged with a sheepish smile.

"I will send you to that convent," she threatened.

"No sex, Mum," I promised as I traipsed up the stairs, feeling, if not slightly better, then at least greatly more mortified.

I showered for at least thirty minutes. In fact, it might have been longer. I was fairly certain that I had dozed off for a few seconds at some point, but then my shampoo got in my eyes, and I hit my head on the tile as I tried to make the burning stop. Really, it just reaffirmed my faith in the idea that no one should ever wake up. We should just sleep all the time. Okay, perhaps that wasn't the best idea. We'd miss out on the good things in life like cheesecake and boys with crooked grins. Still, I would appreciate the rest.

I hadn't heard Petunia's loud banging against the bathroom door because I was fairly certain I had been in a very odd stage of sleep, so when I emerged from the bathroom with a hiss of steam at my heels, she looked pretty livid.

"What were you doing in there for so long?" she demanded.

"Showering," I told her obviously as I eyed her cotton shorts with turtles on them. "Nice jammies."

She rolled her eyes. "So help me God, Lily, if there isn't any more hot water left," she threatened.

"What?" I countered. "You'll put a spell on me?"

Petunia huffed and brushed passed me, slamming the door behind her. I heard the water turn on and the shrill sound of her scream as she probably felt how cold it was. Oh, well.

Damn my parents to hell for instilling manners into my brain. Halfway to my room, I trotted back to the bathroom, magically unlocked the door-much to Tuney's exceedingly vocal protests-and magicked the water to a more comfortable temperature.

"Oh," she said suddenly.

"You're welcome," I called out pointedly.

"Thanks, freak," she acquiesced.

"Whatever," I did in my best snotty Tuney impression before leaving the bathroom and getting changed into a pair of worn jeans and a charcoal gray shirt.

I flopped onto my bed after throwing my hair into a makeshift ponytail. Staring at the ceiling was a very entertaining pastime. I spent nearly an hour just lazily counting cracks with half-lidded eyes before I was distracted by Callie coming through the window with a letter tied to her leg. I jumped up with vigor yet unknown to this morning.

"Hey, girl," I greeted her.

She hooted back in response before thrusting out her leg proudly to show me the letter.

"I see," I told her. "Very nice. You're such a good owl for getting that all without me knowing. You're amazing," I extolled. "Though, maybe next time you wouldn't mind telling me before you go out and have all these thrilling adventures without me."

Calypso looked at me blankly.

"Yeah, I know, I'm releasing the inner crazy," I sighed as I untied the letter.

Callie nipped my finger before flying over to her water dish in her corner of the room.

Excitedly, I ripped open the letter to read its contents:

_Dearest Lilykins,_

_Yes, I know you hate that nickname. But I haven't talked to you in ages because I'm a sucky loser who doesn't even deserve pie. You know what I mean, when I say that. So that's it. When we get to Hogwarts, you can withhold pie from me. No pumpkin pleasure or chocolate crème or whatever for Hestia Jones. She is such a prat. I don't know why you hang out with her anyway. I heard she has a crap personality and fat ankles._

_Merlin, Lily, you can stop me at anytime from all of this self-loathing. I can't stand it, and you know how I feel about the whole cankle issue. I can never wear cute shoes! Oh, Lily, it's like all of this guilt is just churning around my head like a swirling vortex of doom. I have been the worst friend. You must hate me. Please don't hate me. Then I might have to befriend a Hufflepuff, and you know how bad yellow is for my coloring. My black hair with yellow? I will look like a ruddy bumblebee! Plus all that cheerfulness and genuine faith in humanity? Bleh. Gag me._

_Okay, and just so you know, I didn't kill anyone…yet. I swear to Merlin if my brother tells me one more time that his pillow isn't fluffy enough, I will, though. I can't see any Wizengamot court convicting me, however. I mean, how fluffy can a pillow get, I ask you? It's riddikulus! Okay, yes, I am a geek. But that's why you're my best friend. Because you do stupid things like make History of Magic references-which I don't really understand because you despised that class. My reason for feeling like such a prat is that we haven't spoken in ages. I've been grounded (literally, Dad padlocked my broom with one of those anti-alohamora charms), and you, well, frankly, I have no idea what's been going on with you. It's just plain dreadful. _

_But I promise, cross my heart, hope to live (because I am just too pretty to die-but maybe I'll be really depressed instead with my fat ankles), that I will remedy this situation as soon as we set foot (feet?) back into Hogwarts. It'll be just you, me, and some pie! We'll dish. You can tell me absolutely everything that's happened in the past two weeks with you. Most likely you spent the whole time in your room reading some book, occasionally breaking the pattern to get a snack or fight with Miss I'm-so-evil-I-make-Slytherins-seem-like-cuddly-puppies sister of yours. It's a shame that I know that deep down you still love your sister. Because I was thinking that there's a big cliff near my house that's perfect for throwing siblings down. We could make it a double homicide._

_I'm rambling again, aren't I? You just have no idea how much I want to talk to you. I won't be able to think straight till I do. I just have a lot to say. Oh, crap. Mum just spotted me writing. Do you think she'll believe this is a bit of a Transfiguration essay? I'm still not supposed to be writing letters due to my insufferable punishment (though, if snogging is wrong, then I REALLY don't want to be right. In fact, I'd like to be wrong a few more times). So, yes. I miss you. I wish you were here. Nah, I wish I was there. I love you. And I can't wait until we meet back up again. Ten sickles say that Potter asks you out within the first twenty minutes of the train ride!_

_Kisses (and rolled eyes and pinches and elbows in the gut),_

_Hestia_

I read the letter through twice, chuckling to myself both times. Merlin, the weirdest people flocked to me. Of course, weirdos were often the best people-at least in Hestia's case. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling of forbearance that went through me as I read it. In just two days I would have to see Hestia and everyone else that I had hidden from all summer. What would I say? I lied to you this whole time? I've been lying to everyone?

I hated lying. But I just couldn't seem to be able to tell the truth. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or mess up the delicate balance that my life currently teetered on. Lies would just lead to more lies. I could barely differentiate the truth from the lies anymore. Had I really liked James, or was that all a lie? And did he even really like me? Or was he just lying to himself? I had lied to him the entire time we were together. Everything—it was all one huge lie.

No, that couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Something had to be real.

I rubbed my eyes in frustration. I decided to go talk to James. He'd fix this. Whenever I was around James, everything else just didn't matter anymore. Everything just made sense. I walked out of my room and then barged into the guest room without knocking. James was lying on his bed talking into his hands. I squinted vaguely at the peculiar image.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" I asked.

James's hand jumped to his hair. "Oh, Lily, hi!" he said in a startled voice. "Merlin, you scared me."

"Lily! Lily's there? I can't get over this, mate!" I heard a voice say.

I looked over my shoulder and then around the room for another person but with no luck. "Who said that?"

"I'm right here, love!" the voice said again.

"What's going on, James? Who's talking?" I asked in confusion.

James sighed and held up the mirror in his hand.

I followed his gaze and looked into the mirror, expecting to see myself. Instead, I jumped back when I saw the dark hair, cool gray eyes, and ever-present smirk of Sirius Black. "Why do you have a picture of Sirius in your bedroom?" I asked.

"Oh, Lily, it's not what you think," said James quickly as color rose to his cheeks and his spare hand made its way to his hair.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure."

"It's a two-way mirror for easy communication," he explained. "Say 'hi' to Sirius."

My eyes bulged. "He's really there on the other side? That's not a picture? Sirius?" I shrieked.

"The one and only, sweetheart," the voice called back cheekily, only this time I could see the devastatingly handsome-Merlin, that was a gagworthy phrase. I might need a bucket to vomit my self-respect into-face of Sirius Black, who was bloody winking at me with a cheeky smirk plastered to his face.

"I need to sit down," I said as James rushed over to me to guide me onto the bed.

"There you go, Lily," urged James as he helped me.

"Already got her into bed, eh, Prongs?" Sirius's voice praised obnoxiously.

I felt like I was going to be sick. "I need to sit down," I repeated.

"You are sitting, Lily," James told me.

"I am?" I looked down at my folded legs. "Yay for me," I added weakly.

James eyed me cautiously and then turned his head back to the mirror-Sirius. "I should go, mate. I don't think Lily's doing too well."

"Take care of your girl, mate. I do want physical proof of this on the train. I'm still not convinced that this isn't some huge prank you've been pulling on me these past two weeks. For all I know, you could have duped Pete into taking some Polyjuice Potion and just hording out in a pillow fort in your basement like we did when we were twelve. Don't forget, I know all about your Lily Evans hair collection."

"Shut the bloody hell up, Sirius," James told him through gritted teeth as I eyed him questioningly.

"Right, well, I'm just saying that this better not be some elaborate prank."

"Would I do that to you, Sirius?" asked James with mock-hurt.

"Yes," answered Sirius immediately with a huge grin. "Talk to you later, mate. See you soon, Evans."

"Bye, Sirius," replied James before setting down the mirror. He looked at me for a few moments before opening his mouth to speak. "Well, that was neat."

"Neat? Neat? Are you bloody kidding me, James?"

"Well, why wouldn't it be neat? My best mate and my best girl talking and sharing inappropriate pleasantries," he said brightly.

I rolled my eyes. "I can't believe he saw me. Now he knows that we saw each other over the summer! What are we going to tell him?"

James frowned. "Sirius already knows that we are dating," he said.

"What?" I shrieked.

"Sirius knows about us," he repeated slowly.

I thought I was going to be sick. "How?"

"Don't get mad, love."

I fell back onto his pillow. "I can't feel my face," I told James.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Peachy," I managed to mutter. I rubbed my temples. "How does Sirius know?"

"We've been communicating the whole time I've been here."

"You have?" I gulped, feeling all the color draining from my face.

"Of course," he said simply as though it was the most natural thing in the world. "Sirius is my best friend. We tell each other everything."

I bit my lip and sat up in anxiousness. "So he knows about everything?" I asked with my eyes closed in anticipation of the answer.

"Pretty much," admitted James.

I felt as though someone had forced all the air out of my lungs. "Oh, Merlin," I gasped.

"I'm sorry, Lily," repented James quickly as he kneeled down in front of me. "I know that this was a big secret, but I had to tell someone. I don't know if you've thought about this, but these past two weeks have been a huge deal for me."

"I know that," I argued.

James sighed and sat up next to me on the bed. "Do you, Lily? Do you really?" he implored as his eyes searched mine.

Not knowing what to say, I bit my lip.

"I don't think you can know what it's like," continued James, ignoring my silence. "I foolhardily decided to go to your house one afternoon just to see if I could look at your knicker drawer, or something, and suddenly, I was here for two weeks. I'm your boyfriend, and we're snogging in front of your sister. Then we're snogging whenever she's not there. I've met your parents, and I've told you things about me that I've never really told anyone besides the rest of the Marauders before. There's just so much to think about."

"I know," I agreed with a sigh.

"I had to tell someone. It was just too much to keep to myself. Sirius won't tell anyone, though," James promised. "Not until we're ready for people to know about us," he amended.

I nodded dumbly as I stared at the navy blue bedspread.

"And it's not as if you haven't been telling Hestia what's going on," James added.

My stomach lurched. "Hestia?" I stammered.

"Yeah, she's your best friend. Obviously she knows what's going on, right?" James asked.

I could feel the bile rising up in my throat. The walls were pushing closer together, and I felt like I was being squeezed. My chest felt heavy, as though my lungs had deflated. It hurt to breathe. A pressure was rising inside of me, and I could feel slick sweat start to form on my face. My legs were beginning to give out, and my heart was pounding so loudly in my chest that I could feel it reverberating through my ears. I felt extremely dizzy. "I have to go," I announced as I wobbly rose to my feet.

"Lily," James called as he tried to grab my hand.

I staggered out of his way and opened the door to the hallway.

"Lily," he repeated. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I told him. "It's just the morning," I added before I walked into the hallway.

He chased after me, but I shrugged him off.

"Lily, I really think we should-"

"It's fine," I cut him off. "I just need some air."

Back in the safety of my own room, I felt much less claustrophobic. Slowly, my breathing turned more regular, and my limbs felt less like jell-o. The nausea subsided, and I concentrated on the cracks on my ceiling to keep myself from thinking about anything else.

The ceiling was not as captivating as it normally was. On average, I could spend about forty-five straight minutes just staring at the cracks and wondering at the patterns they created. However, my bloody brain wanted to think too much to amuse myself with such a passive activity.

I knew that I could not go downstairs. I did not want to see anyone right now. If I ran into Mum, I'd have to put a big smile on my face and say something witty to dupe her into thinking that everything was just hokey dory. If I ran into Petunia, inevitably we would get into a big fight over something extremely inconsequential. I would say something about the weather, and she would say I was a freakish harpy with hairy arms. I positively could not see James.

* * *

A/N:

hey, guys. so this is the newest chapter. just to let you know, i've never posted this one before. it's a brand spanking new one. therefore, i don't know how it will be received (except for my own inclinations of angry mobs and pitchforks-i've been thinking about beauty and the beast a lot lately). as you know, a story has to have a little conflict to make it impactful. i do promise that everything will end up okay. just bear with me for now.

that being said, please do not be too mean to me with reviews. i've had a completely horrible week. college rejection letters came out this week, and i do mean rejection. thus, i have no fun stories about the fam to tell you because i spent the majority of my past few days in a catatonic state (oh, how i wish i was joking). so that's the that. please respect the story. have a beautiful easter! (or Sunday for those of you who don't celebrate it!)

glumly yours,

molly

What would I say? _"Oh, by the way, loverboy, I haven't told Hestia about our whole arrangement. You see, I haven't thought that far ahead, and I have no ruddy idea what I am going to do about our relationship. Kudos on telling Sirius, though. I am so glad that we kept this secret to ourselves. I can't wait to go to Hogwarts on Wednesday and have the entire school mock me because Potter finally got a piece of that."_

Hogwarts. I was leaving for Hogwarts in just two days. I needed to pack. I had absolutely nothing ready. Packing would take me hours. Thank Merlin!

I started with socks. With summer ending very soon, I would need to have socks to wear. There was something immensely gratifying about socks. They felt so good and warm when you put them on a cold, winter day. Then later, at night, when you pried them off and wiggled your newly freed toes-or better yet when you went to bed with them on and somehow managed to remove them in your sleep, allowing your feet to brush up against your sheets without any barriers. I loved socks. You could take them off just as easily as you put them on. They came in all different colors and all different sizes so you never had to settle on just one type. Hell, I had a whole drawer full of them.

I frowned when I found one lone sock in the corner of the drawer. It was a funny yellow one that looked a little worse for wear. I found myself feeling sympathetic to the sock. It was all alone in a world of pairs. It had lost its partner forever.

New drawer: knickers. I pulled out a few pairs and, not knowing the proper folding procedure for panties, I threw them haphazardly into my trunk. I contemplated over which ones to bring. I only had one or two pairs of fancier knickers that made me blush just thinking about the time Hestia had forced me to buy them as a dare. Should I bring those? Was I expecting someone at Hogwarts to see my knickers? Really, that was the only reason to wear uncomfortable, lacy contraptions around your nether regions. If no one was going to see them, who the hell cared if you went around wearing granny panties under your kit?

I sighed and moved on to the closet. I grabbed a few jumpers and pairs of jeans and tossed those into my trunk, as well. I realized that I would need something a bit more fashionable if I was going to Hogsmeade, and I searched through my closet. I hesitated when I reached the dress I had worn last night. It was such a pretty dress. I was glad that Mum and Petunia had coerced me, well, Mum into buying it. Such a pretty dress for such a wonderful night with such a…..

I was sick of going through clothes. For Merlin's sake, I wore a uniform to school. All I needed was my robes and my Gryffindor ties. I moved on to examine my bookshelf. I pulled some of my favorites off the shelf. I could not bear to part with them for months at a time. What if something awful happened, and I needed to restore my faith in humanity by reading?

I carefully placed my beloved volumes into my trunk along with the new books I had purchased at Diagon Alley. I smiled as I thought of James and me snogging outside of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. It had been such a lovely, effortless afternoon, despite my first day period bitchiness. We had been together in a magical setting, and nothing apocalyptic happened. We had just been two people enjoying each other's company.

Callie flapped her wings in her cage, and I walked over to her. I quickly brandished my wand and _scourgified_ her cage. I would need to clean it again before I left on Wednesday morning. I did not want Callie to have to spend the whole train ride trapped in a dirty cage.

"Ready to go back to school, Callie?" I asked her.

She nipped my finger in response.

I laughed. "I'll take that as a yes." I sighed and eyed my morning letter that was lying surreptitiously on my desk. "And we'll see Hestia again," I murmured.

Callie hooted at the mention of her name.

"Yes, Cal, I'm sure we'll have loads to catch up on," I added wearily. "She's got that Rico bloke, and I've got, well, I've got an explanation to make."

I could not think about how that conversation would go. Frankly, I never wanted to have that conversation. Couldn't it just stay summer forever? Why did the seasons have to change? Why couldn't it stay warm and sunny and carefree all the time?

I spotted my shiny silver Head Girl badge lying on the floor, half hidden by an old scarf. I picked it up and scrutinized it in my palm. This tiny object symbolized everything that I had worked so hard to achieve over the past six years. I might have been a complete basketcase in the privacy of my own home, but at school I aimed to be the epitome of perfection.

Every morning I would wake up at precisely 7:00 AM. I would take a shower, get dressed, and be down at breakfast by 7:50. My breakfasts were always nutritious and contained at least three of the major food groups. I went to all of my classes and took painstakingly accurate notes to ensure that I would not miss any material. Then I would go to the library and work on my homework. If I did not have Prefect rounds, I would be in bed by 11:30 to be ready to start the next day in the morning. It was my schedule, and it was gridlocked. Hestia and I would splurge on the weekends, but I was always alert come Monday mornings. I had a routine to follow. If I wanted to become an Auror, I needed the top grades.

My efforts had paid off. I, Lily Evans, in a class filled with Purebloods, had made Head Girl. Me, whose father did not always know the difference between a Quidditch ball and a popular breakfast food so delicious it must have been crafted by Merlin, himself.

I simply did not have time for distractions. At school, I did not allow myself that luxury. I wanted to be taken seriously in the magical world. I did not have time for silly crushes or classroom pranks. I was not one to daydream about Hogsmeade visits or which bloke would try to buy me a butterbeer. It was just Hestia, Callie, and me. James would throw off my entire dynamic. How could I find a way to fit him in? What if he did not belong? I never had a boyfriend before. How much time was I expected to spend with him? What were we supposed to do together? As much as I hated thinking about my mum's words of wisdom, how far was I suspected to go? I knew couples who had had sex. That was all they did. Literally, they were always sneaking off to go shag somewhere. I did not have time for that. I did not want anyone to see me naked. Merlin, I didn't even like to look at myself naked. Oh sweet Merlin. I was leaving for Hogwarts in two days, and I had to make sure that I packed loads more clothes so that I would have enough layers on that no matter how many someone attempted to take off, I would never be naked.

I kicked my trunk angrily. "Packing is for sadists," I informed my half-empty trunk in frustration as I examined my throbbing foot. "Oww," I whimpered, wondering if I had done permanent damage to my big toe.

I knew that it was past time to tune down the crazy. Too cowardly to face my family and the root of all evil also known as Mr. I Confusingly Say I Love You In A Perfect, Albeit Somewhat Cliched Way, But Really All I Want Is To Take Your Virginity And Sabotage Your N.E.W.T Scores So That I Will Have The Best Grade In Our Year. Perhaps I needed to shorten that a bit.

I really must have been reacting to the lack of food in my system. The moldy chocolate frog I scarfed down seemed like ages ago. I checked my clock and saw that it was almost five. Surely, I could sneak down and grab something to eat. I needed something to save me from the insanity of being stuck in my room with only my paranoia and a sleeping owl to keep me company.

With as much stealth as I could muster, I opened my bedroom door and peered out. The hallway was secure. Quietly, I left my room and made my way to the stairs. I tiptoed down the stairs as silently as humanly possible. On the third to last step, the stair squeaked. I closed my eyes shut, and my heart skipped a beat in my chest. I held my breath and waited for someone to catch me. I could hear the seconds tick by as the cuckoo clock mocked me from a few meters away. Gradually, I popped one eyelid open. No one was in sight. I sighed in relief and continued going down the stairs.

I probably should have found it odd that the house seemed abandoned when I stealthily somersaulted into the kitchen, but I was too mystified by my hunger-induced stupor. I ran up to the pantry and swung the door open. My eyes eagerly searched for any sight of edible food. Crackers? No, I needed sustenance. Peanut butter? No, that was far too sticky. Pa-Jackpot! I found the fudge-covered cookies. Thank Merlin for unsaturated fat. I grabbed them greedily and stuffed one into my mouth as I shut the door to the pantry.

"Fowy Werwin's Weft Lum Sweek!" I shrieked through cookies as I saw James, waiting for me with his arms crossed in front of his chest and an annoyed expression on his face.

His commanding demeanor broke for a second when he chuckled. "What was that again?"

"Why would you scare me like that?" I asked, blatantly ignoring his question.

"Why are you avoiding me?" James asked accusatorily.

I grabbed my box of cookies, which had fallen to the floor, and walked over to the kitchen table. "I'm not avoiding you," I told him.

"Then how come you've spent the whole day locked in your room, and I just saw you do some sort of weird roll thing like a demented chicken into the kitchen?" pressed James, following me to the table.

I sat down as my mind raced for a possible excuse. "Because I was practicing for stealth training at the Auror Academy."

"By doing flailing your way into your own kitchen?"

"I like to be prepared for whatever scenario presents itself," I defended.

James sighed and pulled a chair over so that he could sit next to me. It was hard to avoid his eyes when he was sitting so very close to me. I settled for staring at my toes, whose nail polish was beginning to crack in a few spots.

"Lily," began James purposefully as he grabbed my hand. "I know that you're freaked out about the whole Sirius thing."

I laughed shakily. "Me? Freaked out? Why on earth would that possibly bother me?"

"Lily, look at me," James said softly. He moved his hands to my face, and I could feel his fingertips in my hair. I lifted my gaze, but I could not bring myself to look back at him. Instead, I concentrated on his lips while he spoke. His face was so close. Just a few centimeters, and we would be kissing. "This thing with Sirius isn't going to change anything."

I blanched. Every time his name was mentioned, I felt like I was going to throw up.

"I know I didn't tell you about it, but it doesn't mean that things between us need to change. Sirius knew we were together yesterday, and we were fine."

James let go of my face to run his hand through his hair.

Finally able to breathe, I sighed deeply.

"Aren't you excited about going back to school and telling everyone? I mean, Sirius and Hestia already know, but think about how great it will be when we drop the bomb on everyone else. Can you imagine their faces? It'll probably take them a whole week to believe us. Hell, they'll probably think it's a prank. We'll have to snog in front of the whole Great Hall before Remus will ever be convinced."

Oh, Merlin. All those people to whom I had sworn eternal hatred for the boy sitting in front of me were going to find out the truth. I had lied to my sister because she made fun of me one morning, and I was very tired and annoyed with her. I had convinced the rest of my family that I was dating a boy that I really wasn't, and now I had made that boy positive that I was ready to go shout our love from the Astronomy Tower. I could not do it anymore. I could not lie to any more people.

"Lily? Tell me what's wrong."

"I—I—"

"Oh, Lily, you're downstairs. Did you fall asleep in your room? You were up there for so long," I heard Mum say.

James leaned back in his chair.

I forced a smile onto my face and turned to face Mum. "Yeah, I fell asleep," I answered her, mentally thanking her for the easy lie.

She grinned knowingly as she walked to the stove. "I thought so. Gosh, Lily, you sure are having an odd day. You woke up earlier than I've ever known you to, and then you slept the day away. It gave James and me some time together."

Out of habit, I rolled my eyes. I noticed that James, who had been unusually silent thus far in the conversation, straightened up a bit when his name was called.

He noticed that I was staring at him, and when he looked at me, I focused back on Mum, who was prattling on about Petunia. "So just about five minutes then on the roast. Why don't you two go wash your hands," she finished.

I nodded my acceptance, and then James followed me to the downstairs bathroom.

"Lily, I really think-" he said as soon as we were out of hearing distance.

I held up my soapy hand to silence him. "Let's just make it through dinner," I told him.

James sighed, ran his fingers through his hair, but, nevertheless, followed me into the dining room.

"Pass the salt, please," Dad called.

Making sure not to brush against the boy sitting beside me, I grabbed the salt shaker and handed it to my father. I nodded dumbly when he thanked me and then went back to swirling the corn around on my plate.

"So…." began Mum, glancing around the silent table. "Anybody do anything interesting today?"

"We solved the number crisis," Dad spoke up eagerly. "Finally got all those decimal points correct. I swear, I've never seen such bad accounting in all my life. They fired Bruce for all the bad math, even though it wasn't even really his fault. He wasn't at work when it happened."

"Oh," said Mum worriedly as she put down her fork. "But doesn't he have that one daughter with the heart condition?"

"Yeah," answered Dad. "It's such a shame. I don't know how I'd even show up to work every day with one of our girls in the hospital all the time. Poor bloke. It's a right shame."

"Well," said Vernon from across the table. "If he wasn't being a productive worker, then it makes sense for him to be discharged. Efficiency matters for a business. If revenue cannot be generated at its highest point, the business is not doing what it should."

I frowned at his remark. "Well," I began to say.

"I think Vernon's right," Petunia interrupted me quickly. "As badly as we feel for him, that doesn't change the fact that a business is about making money."

I put down my fork and slunk back into my chair.

"Let's have them over for dinner next week, dear," Mum said to Dad after a few moments of silence. "There's a few open positions at the school, and I think I might be able to help him out."

A silence fell over the dinner table once more. It struck me as odd that things would be so awkward. Two weeks ago when this had all begun, it had not even been this awkward. I did not understand how things could have retrogressed so badly. Yet, there was a palpable quietness in the room.

Feeling eyes on me, I looked up from my plate to see Petunia's mouth forming a sneer. Her eyes flicked over to James and then at the obvious distance between our two chairs.

The pressure to perform for her weighted in my chest, and it made it hard to breathe. As much as I wanted to prove to Petunia that I was happy, I just did not have the strength to do it anymore. I was sick of putting a smile on my face and pretending that everything was okay. Everything was not okay.

"Lily, what's the matter?"

"What?" I asked.

"Why are you standing up?" Mum continued gently.

My face started to heat up. "Oh, I just have to-excuse me," I told the table before nearly tripping over myself to get out of the room.

Pathetically, I hid in the loo. Not even bothering to turn the light on, I locked myself in, sat down on the toilet, and put my head in my arms. Merlin, I needed to get a grip. I just felt the overwhelming desire to go home.

Did anyone else ever feel that way? Sometimes, even when I was home, if something was bothering me, I felt like I was not there. A problem so large could not exist at home. This was some imposter house just pretending to be mine. I was too stressed to be at home. Home was comforting. Home was safe. Home was happy. I did not feel like I was at my home.

"What were you doing in there?" I heard Petunia's voice hiss outside the door.

Embarrassed, I opened my mouth to explain that I was hiding in the bathroom when I heard another voice answer her.

"I was just stating my opinion about how a business should be run. I thought you agreed with me," a gruff voice that I knew belonged to my least favorite Sasquatch replied.

"Of course I had to go agree with you!" Petunia shrieked. "You think I'm going to argue in front of my parents, my sister, and her freak boyfriend?"

I stuck my ear to the door as I continued to listen to Petunia's voice with rapt attention.

"God, Vernon. They already like her better than me. Plus, I'm pretty sure that Mum is about two minutes away from either adopting or mounting him."

Aha! So Tuney thought so too! Wait…Mum and Dad didn't like me better than her.

"Relax, HunBun," Vermin said. I grimaced at the term of endearment. "What do you care what they think anyway?"

"They're my family!" she hissed.

"So?"

"Vernon, you know I love you. You're everything I could ever need. You're the only person whose ever loved me for just being normal, boring me. I love you, but they're my family," Petunia reiterated.

"Petunia, you don't need them. Pretty soon, you'll be a part of my family. My parents will come around, and there's ways Marge."

I heard Petunia scoff. "Your parents don't approve of our lifestyle, and you know it. Do you remember the other night when your mum nearly ate her tongue when I told her I didn't buy designer? And Marge hates me! She keeps letting her dogs attack me. I know you say it's an accident, but it just keeps bloody happening!"

Vernon's family didn't like Tuney? What the hell? What was their problem? What was wrong with my sister? Well, besides the obvious, I mean? Didn't they know that Petunia devoted her life to trying to be as snooty as possible? Suddenly arrogance wasn't enough for them? What more did they bloody want?

"Well, my parents live differently than yours do."

"They have money," Petunia stated.

"Yes, they do. Is that a crime? Not everyone feels the need to take in the freaks of the universe. Some people just want to provide for their families."

"Well, I'm not used to that. I fancy myself civilized, but I don't give a rat's ass about summer homes in Majorca. I just want a family."

"I know. I want that too. I love you."

Eww, gag me.

"Then why don't you just tell your parents to stuff it? I feel like the biggest freak in the world in front of them, and you don't do anything to help, you prat."

"C'mon, hun," Vernon pleaded.

"No, don't you 'hun' me. I've put up with all of your family's crap. The least you could do is put in an effort while you're here. You should hear the things Lily and James whisper about us."

"Petunia, they're freaks. What they say doesn't matter."

"She's my sister, Vernon," Petuna hissed. "Mum and Dad might always favor her, but she's still my little sister. She's the only one I've got, so you better be nice to her. She's going to run off with that boy some day, and then I'll never see her again. Do you hear me, Vernon? I'm going to lose my only sister."

I pulled my ear away from the door as I heard Vernon mutter inaudible things to pacify her quiet sobs. Merlin, Tuney.

I wanted to rush out and hug her, but I stayed where I was. When I was positive that they were gone, I opened up the bathroom door and walked into the kitchen.

"Lils!"

I startled as I spotted my dad standing in front of the sink. I despised being surprised in the kitchen. Was everyone in the whole bloody universe conspiring to ruin food for me?

"Daddy," I breathed. "You scared me."

He laughed and threw a dishtowel over his shoulder. "Sorry," he grinned. His smile faded when his eyes swept over my face. "You okay, baby girl? You look a bit peaky. Was it something you ate? You left dinner in a hurry."

"Nausea," I answered truthfully.

He nodded. "You're just lucky that you weren't born when your mother and I were first married, talk about nausea. Have you ever eaten her chicken pot pie surprise?"

I shook my head. "What's the surprise, not pie?" I asked.

"Not chicken" he said with a grimace.

I chuckled.

"Now that's the first smile from you I've seen all day," he remarked.

I shrugged before going in for the kill. "Dad, am I the favorite?"

"Favorite, what?" he asked.

"Daughter," I muttered reluctantly as I felt my face redden.

"Now, Lily. Who's putting these ideas into your head? I've never known you to be so arrogant."

I bit my lip. "It's just that I get the feeling Tuney thinks I am."

"C'mon, Lily, you know that's not how it is with your mother and me. I'm surprised you'd even think that."

"Well, Petunia said something that got me all befuddled."

"Then she's crazy. Your mother and I love you both equally. You two can squabble about it all you want, but it's the truth. I love Petunia because she is stubborn and independent and always wants to have her own way, and I love you because you are grouchy and sarcastic and incredibly ridiculous."

"Thanks," I deadpanned.

He laughed. "You think I'm kidding, but I'm really not. My life revolves around my girls. When Petunia was born, I thought I had just been given the most amazing thing in the whole world. God, she sure could scream, but she looked so adorable. She had these tiny fingers that would wrap around just one of mine, and I knew that I loved her. To this day, even with all the gray hair she's given me, I love your sister, and I would do anything for her, same for you. Having kids isn't a contest, Lils. Love doesn't transfer. It just grows. I have enough room in the garden for all my flower petals."

I rolled my eyes. "Dork."

"Just as long as there aren't any young gardeners around trying to steal you."

"Daddy," I began.

"I know, I know. You need space to grow."

"Daddy, I'm still your daughter."

"My almost grown-up daughter," he corrected me.

"I don't want to grow up," I told him.

"Me either," Dad replied as he ran his hand through what hair he had left.

I laughed and gave him a hug.

"Love you, baby girl," murmured Dad, kissing the top of my head. "Now go break my heart running off with that boyfriend of yours."

I laughed humorlessly at what should have been a harmless joke.

Three hours later when I was walking to the swings I still did not find it funny. I tried to find an alternative-anything else that would work, but I kept coming back to the same conclusion.

What would James's girlfriend do? What would James's girlfriend do? What would James's girlfriend do?

Only I wasn't James's girlfriend. I never was, not really. James Potter was not my boyfriend, and no matter how many times lied to everyone else, I could not lie to myself or him anymore.

He was sitting on Petunia's swing with his head in his hands. He looked up at me with blank eyes until I approached him.

"Please," he said as he took a deep breath. His eyes pierced mine with the most pleading expression I had ever seen. It was as though he was begging for his life. "Please don't."

I looked down at my feet to avoid his blazing stare. It took me a few seconds to find a croaky voice that did not sound even remotely right to my ears. "I-I have to."


	16. Falling Apart

_Previously on Boyfriend:_

_He was sitting on Petunia's swing with his head in his hands. He looked up at me with blank eyes until I approached him._

_"Please," he said as he took a deep breath. His eyes pierced mine with the most pleading expression I had ever seen. It was as though he was begging for his life. "Please don't." _

_I looked down at my feet to avoid his blazing stare. It took me a few seconds to find a croaky voice that did not sound even remotely right to my ears. "I-I have to."_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Falling Apart**

* * *

_"Your heart is my piñata." - Chuck Palahniuk_

* * *

"Lily," he began as he stood up and moved towards me.

I raised my hand to silence him. "No, you have to let me say this," I told him. "You have to just let me get it out. You can't interrupt me. You just have to let me say it."

Grumbling slightly to himself, but nevertheless remaining quiet, James sat back down and stared up at me.

I took his behavior as an acquiescence to my demands, and it made things easier. I took a deep breath and then finally started to exhale it out for the first time in weeks.

"I-we-you," I stuttered as I tried to find the best way to explain everything that I was feeling. The hardest part was the beginning. I wanted to phrase it properly so that he would understand. I could not be completely candid, but I had to get my message across. "The thing with Sirius bothers me," I said finally.

"I told you that you don't-" James tried to say.

I held up my hand again. James was trying to sway me, to make me complacent. I did not want to become complacent. Things were not "just fine." James could not swoop in on his broom and fix everything as he always did. Some things no one, not even he, could fix. He needed to be quiet and listen to me. "You have to stop interrupting me," I told him. "You have to let me say everything I want to say."

He sighed and slunk back into his swing with a surly expression as I took a few more moments to organize my thoughts.

"I don't like that Sirius knows about this-this arrangement. Perhaps I should have been more explicit about this from the start, but I had never intended anyone to know that we had done this. It was just supposed to be two weeks, and that's it. Still," I reconsidered with a shaky laugh as the thought occurred to me. "I guess I should only be surprised that it was just Sirius. James Potter would have shouted it out to the whole Great Hall that Lily Evans finally caved."

"Lily, it's not like that and you know it," he argued.

"Do I?" I asked. "Do I really? I mean, it's great and all that you magically showed up to my house one day. Think about the last time we talked before that. It was on the bloody train. I caught you trying to spy on me while I ruddy changed, James! One person does not change in that short of a time. I don't know what game you think you're trying to play, but I will not be duped. I allowed this nonsense to go on because I needed to fool my family. The two weeks are up now, and I can't believe you told Sirius. Sirius cannot keep a secret. Merlin, Sirius can't even stay out of detention for more than three days!"

"He's gone through a lot more than you think. He may get in trouble every now and then, but he would never betray a trust," James defended angrily. "Sirius Black is a great person." He said each word with conviction that rang true with every syllable.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be just dandy when he's blackmailing me at school," I shot back. "I'm so excited that I'll have to be his slave this whole year just so he doesn't tell the whole ruddy school my deep, dark secret."

"Sirius wouldn't do that." His voice was firm and unwavering, as were his eyes.

"Well, how the bloody hell am I supposed to know what he will or will not do?" I asked furiously, waving my arms around. "I don't seem to recall ever having a conversation with him that didn't involve either pranking Slytherins or asking why Hestia was not madly in love with him like all the other bints he scampers off into broomclosets with."

"So basically you don't like my friends," James concluded in a restrained voice that barely contained his anger.

"No," I responded. "I like Remus. I hate troublemakers. I hate that you and Black will be able to hang this whole thing over my head all year. Why couldn't you just keep this a secret, the way it was supposed to be? Why in Merlin's name did you have to go and tell Sirius Black, the biggest blabbermouth in the whole school?"

"You told Hestia! She's not much better!"

"I didn't tell Hestia!" I seethed.

James, who had been looking like he was going to stand up at any second, sank back down into his swing as the notion swept over him. I took a deep breath and kept going in a much quieter voice than before.

"I did not tell Hestia," I repeated once more slowly and a tad more steadily. "I did not tell Hestia because I thought that we had agreed that this would be a secret."

"So all this time you haven't told anyone about me?" James asked in bewilderment.

"No," I answered shakily. It had been hard. There had been so many emotions these past two weeks that it was almost impossible at times to contain them. It would have been so much easier if I had just one confidant the way that James had. Still, that would have ruined the whole plan. The point of a secret was to keep it.

James stared at me in wonder as his eyes indicated that his brain was working a kilometer a minute as he solved some inscrutable problem.

I waited anxiously for his reply as I twisted my hands together.

"Lily, why didn't you tell Hestia?" he asked finally.

"I told you, this was supposed to be a secret!" I answered in agitation.

"No," said James, his voice growing louder. "I don't think so. I think you're ashamed of me, of us."

"Well, why the hell wouldn't I be?" I said quickly. Instantly, I wanted to take it back.

His face recoiled as though I had slapped him across the face. His eyes flashed with pain, and his features morphed into an expression of deep anguish.

Instead of back stepping and recanting, the way I would normally have done, I stood my ground. In order for him to understand, I could not be nice or obliging. I had to be brutally honest. "You are the very last person on earth that I would ever think of dating," I said. "I cannot count how many times I have complained about your immature behavior to Hestia. There was no way that I was going to tell her that I had sunk so low just to prove a point to Petunia."

"So that's what you and Hestia do? You giggle about how big of prats me and my friends are?" James snarled.

I felt ridiculous and childish answering him. It was so petty and pathetic. I wished I could have been a better person who was above such matters. Still, if I could not be good, at least I could be honest. "Yes," I answered sheepishly.

"You know nothing," he seethed.

"What?"

He restructured his features, which had taken a darker tone. His face grew more placating. "Merlin, Lily, don't you see how stupid that is? You're just making matters worse for yourself. You make opinions of things you don't even understand. What's going to happen when we get to Hogwarts and everyone finds out about us?"

"What happens when we get to Hogwarts?" I repeated his question. "I get to school, I do my homework, and I get top grades," I said calmly. "I take notes, and I eat pudding. I do my Head Girl duties, and I pass my last year with just as much sense as the previous six."

"What about us, Lily?" James reiterated pointedly. "Where do I fit into your pretty little plan of academic and social perfection? What about the fact that I'm Head Boy too? Doesn't that mean a damn to you?"

I stared at my shoes and bit my lip. I could not look at his face, which still showed the slightest bit of foolish hope.

"You were never going to tell anyone about this, were you?" he demanded, sounding furious suddenly. "You were just going to go back to normal and write this off as a bad dream. Merlin, Lily, that's what you were going to do."

"Can you blame me?" I asked.

"Yes," James replied.

I chuckled without humor. "Fine, then. I suppose you can. Still, it doesn't change things. I told you from the beginning."

"Lily, this is insane! You're bloody insane!"

"Why, thank you, James," I muttered through gritted teeth.

"Don't give me that," he garbled. "You know it's true. You're basically telling me that you're afraid of a little adversity. Who the bloody hell cares what the Ravenclaws or the Hufflepuffs think? They can go to hell for all I care. What does it matter what they see and what they whisper about? All that matters is that we know the truth."

No matter what he said, I could not rid the image of Hestia's astonished faced from my mind. Worse than her reaction, however, was mine. I kept envisioning myself from last year looking at me now. I disgusted myself. I had gone from a confident young adult to a pathetic girl in way over her head with the one person I had always despised. The thought shattered my self-image into a thousand tiny pieces. "It matters to me," I told him.

"Well, then you need to grow up, Lily, and stop acting like such an immature prat."

I blanched. "That's rich coming from you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You heard me," I replied testily. "You said it yourself. You were bored one day so you came over to see if you could get a rise out of old Evans. I did not ask you to come here. I did not force you into this-"

"Bullocks," James interrupted. "What choice did I have?"

"You could have left!" I screeched. "You could have left that first day, and none of this would have ever happened. You could have gone home to your fancy house, and none of us would have been any the wiser." I took a deep breath as James eyed me murderously, his chest heaving. "But you didn't go home," I pointed. "You wanted to stay because you thought it would be fun to snog me."

"Lily, that's not-"

"Oh, admit it, James," I said angrily. "Pretending it's not true is just beneath you. You wanted to enjoy the perks while my hands were tied. Didn't you? What was the first thing you did every time you had the chance?"

James stood up in a huff, and the swing clattered as he left it. "Fine, okay?" he snarled as he walked over to me. "My dream girl gave me the opportunity, and I took it. Let's all hate James for his deplorable teenage male hormones. I snogged you! That doesn't change the fact that you're refusing to see reason about Hogwarts."

"I told you!" I yelled. "I told you that it was all over before it even began. You were supposed to go home that day and never come back. You didn't. You latched on, and you wouldn't let go. That's not my fault. I told you how it was. You weren't supposed to stay the whole two weeks, and it is just ridiculous of you to think that this would carry on once summer was over."

"Ridiculous?" James said. "I'm the ridiculous one? Merlin, Lily, what are you planning to do at Hogwarts? Ignore me all term?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes," I answered him weakly as I felt silly for such a ludicrous notion. "And I would appreciate if you would restrain Sirius from impeding upon that plan."

"You," breathed James. "I-you," he stuttered as his chest heaved angrily. I could feel the frustration seeping off of him in waves. He pulled at his hair as he sat back down on the swing to steady himself.

"What did you expect?" I asked softly in almost a condescending voice. "That everything would be happily ever after between us?" I mocked him.

James's gaze flicked to my eyes, but I turned away.

"I didn't tell Hestia because that would make things too real," I whispered vulnerably. "I can't be with you at Hogwarts. The summer was just a fling, nothing more. It was a stupid idea."

"Why?" James nearly taunted. "Why?" he repeated in a softer voice.

"Because, James!" I sighed. "It just wouldn't work out. I have a plan for school. I'm going to be an Auror."

"It's not everything it's cracked up to be," James muttered darkly.

"Well, it is to me," I argued. "I have a lot to achieve, and it won't be easy for me. Unlike you, James, I wasn't born with every advantage. I'm muggleborn."

"Who the hell cares about blood, Lily?" James asked. "It doesn't matter. I always thought you were ten times better than everybody at school."

"Maybe for you it doesn't matter," I told him. "But I have to try ten times harder than everyone else to be taken seriously. That's why I work so hard. If I want to get ahead, I have to be the best."

"You already are," James pointed out.

"And how do you think I got to be, James?" I asked angrily. "Unlike you, I didn't spend my years at Hogwarts gallivanting with my friends and getting detentions. I have to work hard. I don't have time for distractions."

"And that's all I am to you, a distraction?" James asked, his voice cutting into me.

"Yes," I answered in a hard tone.

"I don't believe you," he answered.

"Well, you have to," I told him. "Merlin, James, you're acting like you're the best thing that's ever happened for me. You're just one bloke," I stated cruelly as the words seemed to cut my throat as they left my mouth. "Your own parents understand. They leave you all the time to do more important things." The moment I said it, I regretted it.

James stood up with gritted teeth and fire burning in his eyes. "Don't you dare say that to me, Lily," he roared. "Don't you dare lecture me about your insecurities and then make this about me. My parents have nothing to do with this. Nothing. Don't use them to justify your actions. Don't you dare," he snarled.

I bit my lip as I averted my eyes. "I'm sorry, that was out of line," I murmured quickly.

"You're damn right it was."

I nodded as I walked back to the swings and sat down. I put my face in my hands and took a deep breath as I tried to regain my center of gravity. In the past few minutes, it was like my entire world had turned around on its orbit. I could not see the end of the tunnel. All I could see was darkness.

James slowly walked over and sat down on the swing opposite of mine. For a few minutes, all I heard was the sound of his breathing slowing down. It was like an anchor of existence to me. I could hear it better than my own heartbeat. As much as I wanted to cling to that notion, to him, I could not.

That was not healthy. I needed to be my own person. I was not some frivolous teenage girl who was obsessed with some boy. I was independent. I was a daughter, and I was a sister. I was not just a pathetic girlfriend, pining for affection. This was not a silly squabble. This fight was real.

"You're right," I said finally in a soft voice.

James looked up at me with that same bit of hope as always.

"I never planned for us to be together at Hogwarts," I continued truthfully. "I let you believe I did because I wanted you to continue the charade like a good little boy. It doesn't matter what happened after that. My goal was never to have a boyfriend come September First."

He turned his head away from me as he let the words sink in.

"And I don't plan to," I added, forcing the words out.

"That's stupid," he argued bluntly.

"Well, thanks," I scoffed flippantly.

"Surely you have more sense than this, Lily! Merlin, you are in the bloody top of the class! Don't you see how ridiculous you're being?"

"It's what I've decided."

He rumpled his hair in agitation. "Well, then you're a bloody fool, Lily. C'mon, you know better than this."

"What if I don't, James? What if this is just my decision?"

"I expect more from you," he answered decidedly.

"Well, that's your problem, isn't it?" I spat. "You've built me up in your head as this perfect girl. I'm not perfect, James."

"Well, obviously," he murmured darkly. "If you'd just see reason we wouldn't be having this bloody fight."

"Stop ignoring the problems, James! You know something isn't right. We can't just go to Hogwarts together as a couple. We've never even had a proper courting period."

"Lily, conventional dating is out the window for us. So what if we didn't go on awkward dates at Madame Puddifoot's? We both hate it there anyway. The feelings here are real. Who the hell cares about how we got that way?"

"Some things shouldn't be bypassed."

"And some girls need to stop being so tiresome and just give the bloke a break," he sighed as he tugged at his hair once more.

"This isn't a game to me, James. I'm not trying to mess with your head."

"Well then you've been doing a ruddy bad job! You asked me to be your boyfriend!"

"Fake boyfriend!" I interjected.

"You snog me when your family's looking, and then you snog me when they're not. You let me take you on a date, and you wear a dress and smell like strawberries. You wear my bloody shirt to bed. If that's not dating, I don't know what is!"

"It's not this," I told him. "It's something else. This just doesn't feel right to me."

"Well maybe if you would just accept the fact that we are really dating and stop being so stubborn, you'd get fuzzier feelings."

I sighed and then finally just said it. "This is the end of-of whatever it was."

James turned his head abruptly to face mine. "No, it's not, Lily.

"It has to be," I told him. "It has to be."

James got up and kneeled before me as he grasped my hips tightly. "Please, Lily, please don't freak out like this," he pleaded. "You're just letting the pressure get to you. Go to bed, get something in your stomach, and think about what you're really saying."

"I have thought about it."

"Well, stop thinking like you have flobberworms for brains and try again!"

"I don't see any other way," I replied honestly.

He laughed shakily. "Of course there's another way, Lily! So, you're upset about Sirius. I'm sorry that I told him. That doesn't mean that things between us have to change. I'm sorry."

He put his face into my knees and wrapped his arms around my legs, as though holding on to me would ensure that I stayed with him.

Feeling overwhelmed, I looked up at the sky and felt the air leave my chest. I knew that to do this, I would have to hurt him. He wouldn't leave unless I made him. I had to convince him that I hated him, that I did not want him. I had to do it for his own good. "No, Ja-Potter, this is not about Sirius. This is about you. I don't want to be with you."

"Lily," gasped James, gazing at me with tear-filled eyes. "Please."

Taking a deep breath, I pushed him off my lap. He fell to the ground with little resistance. He looked down at the grass in shock, as though he did not know how he got there. I stood up, and my legs felt like jelly. "Don't beg, Potter. It's pathetic."

His features darkened. "So that's it, huh?"

I closed my eyes. "Yes."

"You've just decided that we can't be together."

"Yes."

"Without even consulting me about it. You've just made your decision."

"Yes."

"And I'm just supposed to sit here and accept it?"

"Yes," I croaked.

James gruffly stood up. "Well, here's a twist in your perfect plan, Lily. I don't." He pulled at his hair and started pacing in front of me. "I don't accept that. You can't just wake up one day and decide it's over. Emotions don't work like that. Yesterday, you were my girlfriend."

I chuckled darkly. "Your girlfriend? Are you serious, Potter?" I teased, feeling nauseated by myself. "I may be many things, horrendous and repulsive, but I would never stoop that low."

James's knuckles, which were in tight fists at his sides, turned white. "What about these past two weeks?" he demanded. "What about everything we did?"

I shrugged, attempting to seem aloof. "What about it?"

"Don't tell me that after all this time, you felt nothing," he snarled.

"It's the truth," I replied coldly.

"But-" he faltered.

"I needed you to believe that you could have a chance to keep you under my thumb. If you thought you had even the slightest bit of chance with me, you'd keep quiet. You're so predictable. You would have done anything I asked. You think I'm so perfect, the epitome of your desires."

"Well, excuse me for wanting to be with you."

"It was foolhardy, and it was expected," I said as coldly and condescendingly as I could manage.

"Why?" he asked dejectedly. "Why did you do this to me? Why would you take advantage of me like this?"

"I needed to prove a point to my sister," I told him.

"Your sister?" he asked. "Who the ruddy hell cares what Petunia thinks, anymore?" James yelled. "This is about us!"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't you get it? This has always been about Petunia. It never had anything to do with you," I answered in a scathing voice. "The part could have been played by any bloke."

"So this is what you think of me," he stated.

"Yes."

"A body to do your bidding?"

"Yes."

"To prove a point to your sister?"

"Yes."

"You're lying," he decided.

I laughed. "You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? That no one would be so cruel to do something like this for such a frivolous reason. Well, guess what, James? As it turns out, I am that despicable. The person you proclaim to adore so much? She's a freak," I said viciously. "I'm a horrible, cruel freak, and I'm done using you. You've served your purpose."

James blinked at me in astonishment. "Lily, this isn't you," he told me.

"What the hell do you know about me, Potter?" I screeched. "Everything I've told you so far has been a lie. You don't know a single thing about me that's real."

"Sit down," he ordered.

"What?" I asked.

"Sit down," he commanded again. His voice sounded so harsh that I did as he said without any further complaint.

"You, Lily Evans, are not a horrible person," he told me.

I snorted in derision.

"Sure, right now, I'm not exactly running through the hills to be the lucky bastard to be stuck with you," he added angrily. "But you are a good person. That's why I came here. You may have used me, but I wanted to be used. You mock me for being your ready plaything, but it is a position that I eagerly signed up for. Because, in case you haven't noticed, I'm manipulative too. You think that this whole situation has been orchestrated by you to reach the end goal that you want. Well, think again, Lily. You care about me. I worked hard for that to happen. I made you go from hating me to loving me in two weeks. Somehow, despite everything, I've gotten to you. I'm under your skin. You think about me when I'm not around, and you miss me when I'm gone. I'm a part of you now, just like you're a part of me. That's why I know you're lying. You're just scared. I've been holding back everything for ages, waiting to make my move. Do you have any idea how much of this whole thing I've planned? Do you think I ever really wanted to just be friends with you? I had to make you think you were in control while I was really pulling the strings the whole time. I made this happen. I finally got you to see how you really feel about me, how you've always secretly felt about me. Then, when I finally did, you freaked out. It's okay. Even though I am angry with you beyond words right now, I can forgive you. I should have waited just a tad longer. You weren't ready, and I see that now. But do not just dismiss this like it doesn't affect you. I matter to you much more than even you realize, Lily Evans. This was not just some lie to your sister. This was real."

"Don't flatter yourself," I told him. "I'm a good actress."

"Even yesterday?" he demanded. "Why would you need to fake a date? Admit it, Lily. You enjoy spending time with me. You care about me. You love me. These are real feelings."

"Stop saying that I love you!" I shrieked angrily. I walked over to him and jabbed my finger in his face. "You have no idea what I'm feeling!"

"Only because you never let anyone in! No wonder you didn't tell Hestia about us! You're so wrapped up in your precious image! You need everyone to perceive you as perfect, and you reject the only people who actually know you and think you are!"

"And you're Saint Potter?" I rebuked.

"I think you've already made it perfectly clear on your thoughts on that matter," he snarled.

"Hit a nerve?" I taunted. "It's okay, you have every right to be angry with me."

"Oh, thank you for your permission," he replied scathingly. "I guess that's the biggest problem here. I was unaware that I was going to have to request to have emotions from you. I did not realize that you were my master. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with you, Lily Evans."

"Because I'm what you can't have, and that bothers you. The boy who can afford everything, and he can't have one thing. It's basic psychology."

"Oh, right, I forgot that loving you is just something I can turn off and on after I've already bought all the new shiny toys at Zonko's," he took a deep breath and took a step towards me. "Merlin, Lily, what is your problem?"

"You, okay?" I answered loudly. "I hate you so much. You had no right to come to my home and mess everything up for me. Hestia was supposed to come. She was the friend that was supposed to be living with me. Instead, you show up and ruin everything. Do you think this is easy for me?" I asked. "It is killing me right now to do this," I told him honestly. "Do you want to be the one to tell my parents that you're gone? Do you want to tell my mum that we broke up? Tell Dad that he won't be flying any brooms anymore? Shall you be the one to see Petunia's smug expression?"

"Why do we have to break up?"

"Because we will! If not now, then it will happen eventually. One day, somewhere down the road, it's going to happen. Nobody finds their soul mate at seventeen years old. Hell, nobody marries someone they met at age eleven. It just doesn't happen in the real world, James. It's too young. It's foolish. Couples don't stay together forever, James. Everyone breaks up. They just do. Isn't it better to do it now rather than later when there's too many emotions involved? This way it won't hurt as much. If we never become too involved, then the pain won't be as bad."

"And you call this a clean break, Lily?" James demanded. "You get a Troll in the human psyche, you know that?"

"I can't be with you," I told him.

"Not can't," he corrected. "Won't."

I did not say anything. He did not understand how painful this was for me. It tore at my chest just to be standing this close to him. Home was in his arms, and I was removing myself from him forever. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Our fight had only gone on for so long because even screaming at me, he was still here. Once he left, I would not be able to breathe at all. Still, it was better than the alternative. If not today, the pain would just escalate with time.

"Stop, please," I begged.

"No, Lily," he stated. "You don't just get to turn me off because I'm making things harder for you. I simply will not accept this. What is so wrong with staying with me?"

"We will break up!"

"What if we don't?"

I scoffed. "So, what? We're going to get married and stay together until we're old and gray? Don't make me laugh, Potter."

"What is so ridiculous about that?" he demanded. "It's what I want!"

"Well, it's not what I want," I hissed. "I have a plan, Potter, and you're not a part of it."

"It's James," he corrected.

"Not anymore. You're Potter. I'm Evans. We're done pretending."

"Lily, I never pretended with you," he told me softly as he reached out to touch me.

I moved out of his grasp. "I know," I whispered. "And that's why this has to end."

"No," he breathed as he continued to step closer to me. "No, Lily, you can't mean that."

"I just can't do this anymore, James," I told him softly. "It's so hard, and I can't keep lying."

"Then stop, Lily. Stop lying to yourself and just let this happen."

"That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to let it end. I have to let you go before we do something we can't turn back from."

"Stop worrying about me. You think you're protecting me from something, but it won't help. I'm already in too deep, Lily," James told me with a sad smile playing at his lips. He reached over and brushed a piece of hair out of my face. "I love you." His fingers ghosted over my cheekbone, and my eyes fluttered close. "I love you completely and always," he whispered. "I have all along."

I willed the tears forming to subside as I looked up and away from him. I sighed shakily. "No you don't," I told him quietly, my voice cracking. "You don't. You think you do, but you don't. Not really." I removed his hand from my face with shaking fingers. "You can't."

"You don't know me, James. You don't know what I'm really like. You don't know what I'm really thinking. All you know are the lies that I've told you. You can't love a lie. So, I'm sorry, but you don't love me." I took a step backwards on my failing legs. "And I don't love you," I said as my heart ached with every word. "So this needs to end."

James shook his head. "Lily, you know you love me." He walked over and placed his hand on my heart, which began to beat erratically at his touch. Then, he took my hand and placed it on his own chest. I felt his heart beat as quickly as my own. He ran his hands up my arms and then placed them on my face. "You must know," he whispered.

His lips met mine, and I sighed into him. James had this magic ability to make me feel better, to make me feel whole. My body told me to let him do what he wanted, whatever he wanted. It encouraged me to wrap my arms around his neck and comply with his every demand. I would move my lips with his, and everything would become right again. I wanted it more than anything in the world. For the briefest second, I let myself get swept away by him one last time. It would have been so easy to just listen to his voice of reason. Only, I couldn't. Not this time. He was in love. There was nothing reasonable about that.

Didn't he understand? I was mean, and I was selfish. But I was doing this for him, too. Sooner or later, we would break up. Something would come between us. We could not pretend to be together any longer, not when everything between us was based on a lie. The only way we could ever be together would be if it was real. This wasn't right. This was just more of the same. Eventually, it would kill us. It would be our undoing. Didn't he see what I was trying to do? I needed to protect him from myself. He was too good to crumble at my feet. He deserved more. He deserved someone who could tell him she loved him. He deserved better.

So, as much as I wanted to go on kissing him forever, my lips stilled against his. I forced my hands, which had been tentatively brushing against his arms, to return to my sides.

"Kiss me back, Lily," he pleaded against my lips.

He went to work again, tearing my bottom lip away from my top one and bringing it into his mouth. He was slightly more forceful than before as he tried to solicit a reaction from me. When he realized that I was not going to give in, his lips slowed on mine. "Lily, please," he begged. "Please kiss me."

Gently, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back. "James, stop. You can't just kiss something and make it better."

"But I want to," he sighed. "What's it going to take, Lily?"

"What?" I asked, not understanding him.

"What is it going to take for me to be good enough for you? Merlin, I've tried to reach your standards. The whole bloody world knows that I've jumped through every little hoop you've tossed my way. You'd reckon I'd done enough now, but like with all things involving you, Lily, it's not the case. What more do you want from me? Huh, Lily? Because I don't have anything left to give. This is it. I've given you absolutely everything there is to give. There's nothing left. Is that good enough for you? Did I pass your tests? Is my head deflated enough now that you've ripped my heart out of my chest as your trophy?"

"James," I said softly in an effort to get him to quiet his voice.

"Stop it," he snarled. "Stop evading everything and tell me the truth. Just answer the question. Do you want to be with me or not?"

"I don't."

He sucked in a breath. "Lily, please don't say that."

"It's the truth," I croaked out. "I don't want to be with you."

"Merlin, Lily, why the bloody hell not?"

"I don't love you, James."

"But you do!" he argued relentlessly. "You have to! I know you do!"

"You're wrong," I stated simply.

"Lily, you can't just expect me to leave. After everything we've been through, nothing is the same anymore! I can't go back to the way things were! I've just got you. I can't give you up now. I won't."

"James, you never had me. It was a lie. We don't have to go back because things never changed."

"I changed, Lily. I swear to Merlin I've changed!"

"Well, I didn't. I apologize for any misunderstanding, but that is the way it has to be."

"Misunderstanding?" he echoed incredulously. "Merlin, Lily! I will not abide this! I am not your slave! You can't just exploit me like this! You can't just cast me aside look a broken doll!"

I stared at my feet again.

He trudged over to me and starting shaking my shoulders violently. "Look at me! Don't do this to me! Don't put me through this. It's not right. It can't be what you want! You can't just stop loving someone! It never stops! Damnit, Lily!" he yelled. Forcefully, James reached behind me and grabbed the swing and threw it with all of his strength. It swung back and hit the poles of the swing set with a loud clanging noise.

I flinched as though it had been me it hit. Fear raced in my eyes.

His shoulders heaved up and down as he took in deep breaths. His eyes were murderous and wild beneath his glasses. I had never seen him look so animalistic and savage before. He had completely lost his composure. His fists were clenched, and I was afraid that he was going to do something even more violent.

"James," I said in a hushed voice as I reached out to still his arm with my fiercely shaking fingers. "Stop, you're scaring me."

He flinched away from me as though I had burned him. He looked at my petrified eyes, and I saw his expression turn to wonder at what he had just done. It was almost as though he, too, had just realized how close he had come to hitting me instead of the swing.

He concentrated as the animal slowly subsided, never completely leaving, but just receding enough for the man to regain control. He continued to breathe as his posture returned to normal. After a few moments, he gazed back at me with unfathomable eyes.

When he spoke next, his voice was contrite, yet forced. He kept staring at the swing and then back at me as though trying to piece together how he could have some close to harming me. "I apologize for my behavior. It was wrong of me to assume that your feelings were any more than they are. I see now that any feelings you might have felt for me was just my own perceptions. I am sorry for wasting so much of your time. If you could please give me five more minutes to collect my things, I will leave you be."

His voice was dead. There was no emotion in it at all. Though he was facing my direction, he had spoken to someone much taller than me, refusing to make eye contact.

I nodded dumbly and followed him towards the house. He was not dawdling the way I would have expected him to. He did not take the time to look around for the last time, nor did he quicken his pace. He walked normally as though this was just a normal trip back into the house. He walked up the stairs quietly and then abandoned me in the hallway to go to his room without a word.

The thought only occurring to me just now, I walked into my room and grabbed his shirt. It was still wrinkled from when I had thrown it on my bed earlier this morning. I smoothed out the creases and let my fingers glide over the letters of his name one last time. Then, I quickly folded the shirt.

Without warning, he appeared in my doorway. He seemed so surreal with the bag of clothes around his shoulder and his broomstick in hand. He tried to smile at me, but his mouth only widened for a second when his quivering lips faltered. A single tear dripped down his face, and he hastily removed it with the back of his hand. "Well, goodbye, Lily," he croaked out.

"Wait!" I breathed as he turned his heel to go.

He stopped immediately, and I recognized the hope in his eyes.

"You should take your shirt," I told him as I walked forward to give it to him.

James's mouth tightened sadly, and he let out a mixture between a laugh and a sob. He placed his hand on my proffered arm and pushed the shirt back into my chest. "Keep it," he whispered. Swiftly, and before I could even register his actions, he kissed the top of my head. "Sorry," he apologized quickly. "Just one last time," he murmured. "Please thank your parents for me," he requested solemnly. "I am very grateful for their hospitality. I enjoyed my time here."

The breath caught in my chest. "James," I whispered.

He bravely put on a smile for me. "Goodbye, Lily," he said before walking down the hallway.

Frozen to the spot, I listened to his footsteps as he walked down the stairs and out the door. After five minutes had passed and there were still no sounds, I knew that he had really left.

He was gone.

Was this really happening?

In a daze, I staggered to my bed and lay down. I pulled the sheets up to my neck and brought his shirt to my nose. The charm had finally left his shirt. It did not smell like him anymore. It just smelled like me.

I was utterly and totally alone.

The sob that I had been holding inside for so long finally sounded. It tore my insides apart.

I had made him leave. I had ruined everything.

He wasn't coming back.

James was gone.

A/N: hi, guys! i know that this was a lot to take in, but i hope that you don't get too upset. remember that there is one whole chapter left and that i promise that you will not be left wanting. that being said, thank you all so much from last week's feedback. it meant the world to me, and i feel so much better about everything this week. thank you so much!

springily yours,

molly


	17. Sisterly Advice

_Previously on Boyfriend:_

_The sob that I had been holding inside for so long finally sounded. It tore my insides apart._

_I had made him leave. I had ruined everything._

_He wasn't coming back._

_James was gone._

_

* * *

_

_A/N: For Sarah._

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Sisterly Advice**

* * *

"You can kid the world but not your sister." - Charlotte Gray

* * *

I knew the exact second when the digital lines quickly moved from 5:59 A.M. to 6:00 A.M, just like I had watched it change each previous hour throughout the night. Surprise, surprise, I could not sleep. I was not deluded enough to think that insomnia was cool. That was just propaganda promoted by coffee enthusiasts. Insomnia was dreadful.

My tiredness had surpassed simple bodily fatigue. It was no longer just my limbs or my brain that felt tired. It was every nerve ending in my body, as though my synapses were not firing at the rate they should; a simple task was an ordeal. The worst pain was in my chest. Every heart beat took a Herculean effort. My lungs ached with each breath as I forced myself to continue existing. I felt like Atlas as I attempted to hold the world above my shoulders. I just wanted to drop it and end the agony.

I forced the blankets up to my chin and pulled my knees into fetal position. I closed my eyes as tight as I could make them and tried to escape the persistent, glowing light of the clock. Yet, sleep would not come. Defeated, I pried my eyes open. The neon green numbers were still glowing in the darkness, mocking me. I groaned as I glimpsed them once more. Why was time moving so slowly? I did not want this wretchedness to be prolonged. I hated how happy things flew by and misery took forever. I did not need any more time to think about what I had done to J-to him.

The guilt and pain began to swell inside of me once more, and I clenched my fingers harder against my blanket. The jersey I had grown so fond of was lying beside me, a darker scarlet color than normal from the crying jag I had been unable to avoid. I resented and cherished the shirt simultaneously. It felt like my lifeline, but it did not even have the decency to smell the way it should. I gripped it against my nose and felt revulsion when I could only smell my own scent on the fabric.

My entire body felt numb. I felt as though I was trapped in some stranger's body. Those were not my feeble legs that shook and spasmed, and my arms had never felt so much like rubber before. I was empty. No, it was worse. I was missing. When people felt empty, they did not know what they were lacking. Perhaps they did not have what they are looking for or had yet to discover what they needed from life. They never had the opportunity to find out what was lacking from their life.

I, however, knew exactly what I needed. I knew what I was looking for. I knew, and I had forced it away. I was missing. I was lacking. A hole had been ripped from the center of my chest, and I had nothing left with which to fill the cavernous hole that remained.

The digital lines adjusted once more. It was now 6:01 A.M.

I rolled over to face the window. Two weeks ago, Petunia and I had gazed out of that window to find a messy-haired boy waiting for me. Stifling a sob, I pulled my knees even closer into my chest as I attempted to hold myself together.

The sun did not rise for another twenty minutes. The light hurt my dry, red eyes, but I could not bear the sight of the clock any longer. Instead, I just stared out the window, as I waited for him to come back, though I knew he would not. I had seen to that. The knowledge of that fact made my bones feel like they were breaking as every breath I took rattled my tired lungs.

I lay in bed and waited but nothing could ease the dull, aching pain.

Later, I could hear rustling outside my bedroom door that preceded doors opening and closing, sluggish footsteps, and muffled grumbling. Three sets of feet went down the stairs and never returned. They easily began their morning like it was just another day, any old Tuesday. Not a one came in to check on me. They probably presumed I was still sleeping. Figures that the one time they respected my privacy I would be wallowing in bed like a pathetic invertebrate.

At around ten o'clock in the morning, I finally resigned myself to the fact that I would not be getting any sleep. Still, just because I was not going to sleep did not mean that I was going to leave the safe comfort of my bed.

I pushed my pillows back and sat against them as I brought my knees to my chest. I stared at the tiny nuances of my unicorn collection for what felt like ages. I took notice of the different shades of white and the varying lengths of horns. I looked into their bright blue eyes and tried to block out the memory of seeing the real version. Sadness started to fill me again, so I brought my knees even closer to myself while I kept my eyes trained in front of me.

I was pretty sure that I spaced out completely because when I heard a sharp knock on my window pane I was so startled that I nearly fell off my bed. Was it….?

Eagerly, I scrambled to the other side of my bed and looked at the window. Callie was flying excitedly outside as she pushed her beak against the glass to get my attention. I tried to smile at her, but my features probably looked all wrong as I attempted to hide my disappointment.

Forlornly, I flopped back onto the center of my bed. I had no intention of getting up. I doubted whether or not my dystrophied muscles could handle the exertion. Listlessly, I fumbled in my jeans pocket for my wand and pulled it out. Not trusting myself to speak, I thought the incantation, waved my wand, and the window opened.

Bitterly, I congratulated myself for another academic success.

Callie flew inside the room immediately. She hooted at me softly as she examined me with curious eyes. She nudged my shoulder with her beak and held out her foot proudly to show me her delivery. I tried to thank her verbally, but I could not force my dry throat to mutter any discernible sound. Instead, I settled for running my pointer finger across her spine and dutifully untying the letter.

Still confused and probably peeved about my behavior, Calypso flew out the window. I did not blame her. She had the strength to do what I could not.

With shaking fingers, I examined the small envelope in my hands. Unable to control the surprising feeling of dread that swept over me, I carefully broke the seal and began to read.

_Dearest Lily,_

_Hi! How are you? Are you fantastic? I hope you're fantastic. You're probably getting ready for school and making sure you have all of your skirts at the perfect length (one inch above the knee, nothing more—too prude—nothing less—too desperate). I bet the weather's nice in Surrey. It's been a sunny morning here._

_Okay. Enough with this. I can't do the obnoxious small talk thing anymore, Lils, because the guilt is killing me inside. Plus, it's not good for the skin. I'm all oily, even with that new face wash I bought. That's how much this is killing me. Seriously, I think I'm deader than Nearly Headless Nick. And stop wondering about the grammatical correctness of the word "deader." I am freaking out, Lily, and I don't have time to care about grammar or the English language or anything else, for that matter._

_First of all, you have to understand that I am a horrible, horrible person. Stop your heated protests, Lils, because it's true. I suck at life. I don't deserve to exist. I'm scum. I'm worse than scum. I'm look what scum makes fun of (the kids who sing in Flitwick's choir). Right now, I'm admitting it. There it is on this parchment written by my awesome rainbow-colored, raspberry-scented quill (you know the one I bought at Hogsmeade in Fourth Year?). Okay, I'm going on a tirade because I'm avoiding the issue. Just give me one more sentence to still have your affection and respect before I drop the horrible guilt/pain/surprise/death bomb._

_I lied to you. _

_There, I said it. I lied to you, Lily, and it wasn't a little lie either like when I pretended I liked that girl's sweater (her sweater was awful-and what was with all those cats?). It was a big one. It was like a Vernon Dursley-sized lie. My failure at being a good best friend could rival the disgustingness of his pervy mustache. I lied to you. Rico Suave wasn't just a random, off-the-street Latino lover. He was…..oh, Merlin's hairy back….Sirius Black!_

_I know. Okay? I KNOW, Lily. We've gone on for ages about how "horrible, pig-headed, conceited, lazy, and pompous" the bloke is. Not to mention that he is the best friend of your arch nemesis! But, we met up in Spain (I did go there, see, I'm not a liar about everything!). I was trying to get away from my parents being extra prodding, and he was buying a flying motorbike (I know it sounds ridiculous, but you should ride on the back of it with your hair flowing behind you and having his warm body to curl up behind). Oh, Merlin, did I just gross you out? I probably did. I'm explaining everything all wrong!_

_Anyways, this is what happened (so you can later document it in your future "Hestia Must Be Punished" book): We met up in Barcelona. He was actually really nice and polite to me. I wasn't the usual wise-cracking wench to him. It was summer, we were alone, and there was no pressure to perform (well…..we did perform, ACK! sorry!). I felt like I didn't have to be yelling at him or hexing him because I didn't have to prove anything to anyone. Instead, I could actually just spend time with Sirius. He's a pretty great bloke, Lils. We got a coffee, and we just kept meeting up randomly for the next few weeks. He was a real gentleman, too, crazy as it sounds. He never made the moves on me. I'm the one who had to kiss him! _

_There. I said it. I've been having clandestine meetings with Sirius Black (a.k.a. Rico Suave), and during the latter ones we have snogged quite happily. I didn't mean it to happen. It just did, and Lily, I'm kind of glad it did. Sirius is really fantastic. I think I might be falling for him. We've still kept in contact after my parents freaked out when they caught us. He's been sending me letters (I was surprised that he knew how to write, as well)._

_Oh, Lily! I'm so sorry! Lying to you these past few weeks has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I just didn't want you to be disappointed in me. Great job avoiding that, I guess. I basically just doubled it with the lying and the deceiving and the betrayal. I know that we've always been so determined to dislike the Marauders, and I just did not want to tell you that I had feelings for one. Only, I care about Sirius and about you too much to keep up this charade. Sirius is the one who gave me the courage to tell you! Apparently, something James said made him realize that all of this lying and sneaking around business was just death in the long run._

_So that's it, Lily. You have every right to be mad at me, but please know that I value your friendship more than anything. I just hope you can accept the new guy in my life, even if he is a conceited prat (though, did you know that the fan club's rumors about the abs were true?). No matter what you decide to do, I'm just glad that the guilt is over with. You have no idea what it's like to have all that pain eating away at you. I am in like with Sirius Black, Lily, and I'm finally willing to admit it! Because, Lily, for the first time (assuming everything can be fixed with you), I feel blind numbingly happy._

_Please find me on the train tomorrow, Lily. Even if you just want to scream at me, I need to see you. Please don't scream at me. It's just these damn boys that mess with my decision making abilities. I'm telling you, Lily, this love business is a tricky thing. Hopefully I can get you to understand. Sometimes even the best of people do really stupid things. It's these damn hormones, Lily, I swear! I see a bloke, and I'm like a centaur on the moon. _

_Don't hate me! I'll grovel if I have to!_

_Waiting on pins and needles for your reaction tomorrow,_

_Hestia_

_P.S. Just in case you still need persuading, remember that time in Third Year when you ate too much treacle tart and ended up puking like a geyser? Who was there to hold your hair back and never complained about it? See! I still have best friend potential! I just need a second chance. Love you! –H_

The parchment fell from my hand as I, dazed, fell back onto my pillows. On their own accord, my arms reached for my shirts' sleeves as they crossed in front of my torso, and I tucked my chin into my arms. Silently, tears began to leave my eyes as I fought to maintain blurry eyesight.

My entire world had turned upside down. Hestia had lied to me. My best friend in the whole world had blatantly lied to me for weeks! She was having a relationship with Sirius Black, of all people! Did she not remember that time in First Year when we started the "I Hate the Marauders Club," of which she was the Treasurer? Merlin, Hestia was involved with Sirius Black. He was Rico Suave.

Guilt flooded through me as I realized that this was probably the reaction she had been trying to avoid. I was such a horrid friend. No wonder she did not want to tell me. Merlin knew that I could not muster up the courage to do so. I was such a bloody hypocrite.

Merlin!

I picked up the letter once more.

_Apparently, something James said made him realize that all of this lying and sneaking around business was just death in the long run._

My heart stopped beating. I began to breathe in shallow pants as tears came down faster and with heaving sobs. I crumpled the parchment with my fist and just cried.

The hysteria continued for nearly an hour. I just could not seem to stop crying. Finally, my eyes stopped producing tears, even though I could feel the sobs continue to shake my whole body. Gazing up at the cracks on my ceiling, I forced myself to calm down. I needed to figure out what this meant.

Okay, so my best friend was dating, well, snogging, J-his best friend. They had been together all summer and had finally decided to go public with the news. Suddenly, I felt nauseous. This was all sounding far too familiar.

What had he told Sirius? Did he use that mirror of his to inform his best mate of what had transpired between us? Did he let Sirius know how I had ruined everything? Where was he now? What was he doing? Was he lying in bed somewhere too? Did he feel as awful as I did?

I did not let myself entertain the notion. He was resilient. He was strong. Wherever he was, he was better off. It had been painful, but I knew it was for the right reasons. We did not work the way we had been going. I would have just been bad for him. He deserved so much better than me.

I could not even figure out that my best friend was in a relationship. I knew she complained about Sirius far too much. It was not natural to hate a person that much without there being another emotion hidden underneath.

A strangled sob escaped my throat, and, impossibly, the tears began to fall once more.

"Lily!" I heard a voice call a few minutes later.

Quickly, I brushed the tears off my face with the back of my hand and quieted my sobs.

"Lily! Are you still in bed at this hour? What am I going to do with you?" Mum exasperated as the sound of her voice drew closer.

I glanced quickly at my clock. It was 3:47 P.M. I stared at the green letters in shock. How long had I been crying for?

"Lily! Answer me, young lady!"

"I'm in my room, Mum!" I managed to choke out. My voice sounded scratchy and weak. I was surprised that I was able to get out any sound at all.

"Is James in there with you? I haven't seen him all day!"

The pain hit me as though someone had thrust a wooden stake into my heart. "He-he's not here," I croaked.

"Well, where is he? Did he run out to get something? I promised him that I'd make steak again for dinner before you guys leave tomorrow," answered Mum, sounding like she was right outside the door.

"I don't know where he is," I whispered to my empty room.

"Lily!" Mum called again. "Where is James?" she asked again as she swung the door to my room open.

"I don't know!" I yelled.

"Lily!" Mum gasped as she took in my appearance. "What happened to you? Where's James?"

I closed my eyes as I stubbornly tried in vain to keep the incessant tears from leaving my eyes. "I don't know where he is," I replied in a grating voice.

"What's wrong, Lily? Are you okay?"

I began to laugh. The mere notion of being okay seemed incredibly ridiculous. Nothing was okay. My laughter shook my body as much as my tears did.

"Lily!" Mum screeched as she strode over to the bed and grabbed my arms. "What happened? Where did James go?"

I could not answer her. I just kept rocking back and forth.

"C'mon, Lily, this isn't funny. Did you two have a fight? Where did he go?"

"He left," I murmured in response as another tear hit my cheek.

"Is he coming back?"

I stopped rocking and looked up at her horrified face for the first time. "No," I told her in a clear tone that was saturated with sadness. "No. He's not coming back."

"Well, Lily, could you explain to me what is going on?"

I turned away from her. "Nothing, just leave me alone."

"Lily!" she called as she reached out to touch me.

I jerked away from her grasp. "Please, Mum, I just want to be alone."

"Well, Lily, we can't always get what we want. Now, explain to me what happened so we can fix this."

"It can't be fixed," I said with realization as my gaze caught his jersey once more.

"Lily, what happened?"

"Please, Mum, please just leave me alone."

"Lily, you're scaring me," Mum replied as she wrapped her arms around me.

I briefly allowed myself to enjoy the comfort of her warmth around me. Still, the fact remained that there was no way my mum could make anything better. It was my problem, and not even the best mum in the whole world could solve it.

"Lily, tell me what happened," she coaxed in my ear as she rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"I need to be alone," I told her icily as I struggled out of her arms.

I did not want to look up at her hurt expression, but I caught it out of the corner of my eye.

After a few moments, I felt her weight leave the bed as she exited my room. I was alone again.

I sat on my bed, and I hated myself. I had lied to my entire family, I had betrayed Hestia's trust, I had exploited a person for my petty squabbles, I had said abominable things to James, and now I was just sitting on my bed and feeling sorry for myself. I was repulsive, the whiny girl that I had always hated in books and movies for sitting on her bum and letting her life crumble around her.

I wanted to be the hero. I wanted to get out of bed and do something proactive. I wanted to kick my own ass for being such a prat. Most of all, I wanted to swoop in at the final hour and fix everything with a flick of my magic wand. Wasn't that what magic was for, anyway? Wasn't it supposed to make life easier? Or was heartbreak universal? Were we all the same in our emotions?

My stomach gurgled around 6:00 P.M. from the lack of food. The thought of going downstairs, plastering a smile on my face, and eating steak with the rest of the family made my stomach churn even more. I stayed put. About twenty minutes later, I heard swift footsteps climbing up the stairs.

"April!" I heard Dad call out.

"Henry, I don't care. She needs to come out and explain herself."

"April, give the girl some time to sort things through. She asked to be alone."

"I don't care what she asked for!" screeched Mum, sounding hysterical outside my door. "She is my daughter, and she will tell me what is going on."

"She doesn't want to talk about it," replied my father's soothing voice.

"I don't give a rat's ass what she wants. Why has she been crying in her room all day? Where's James?"

I flinched when I heard his name, but I could not stop myself from listening in on my parents' conversation.

"Maybe he had to go somewhere," rationalized Dad.

"Oh, stuff it, Henry. This is not teenage girl Juliet sobfest. This is Lily. She never cries. I think I've seen her cry once since she was eight and that was only after she broke her arm."

"All the more reason to give her some space until she's ready to talk to us."

"I'm her mother! I gave birth to her! Hence, the no space!" Mum shouted.

"She's not a little girl anymore, April. As much as I don't want to, we have to respect her privacy. "

"I'll respect her privacy when she stops wallowing up in her room. I bet you she hasn't eaten all day. It's not healthy! What if she doesn't come out? She's got school tomorrow. What are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know," he answered, sounding genuinely uncertain.

"Where did James go? Do you think they broke up? God, Henry, if they broke up…..He's so perfect for her! What could have possibly happened?"

"I'm not sure, April," said Dad. "Maybe he had to go back home for a little while. Maybe he had to pack, or something."

"Then why is Lily so upset? You didn't see her before, Henry. She's almost catatonic in there. I've never seen her like that before. I'm afraid she's going to do something to herself. She's not our Lily in there. I'm going to go check on her. She needs me."

I watched as the doorknob started to twist.

"No," said Dad forcefully. "Give her the rest of the day. That's all she gets."

I heard Mum begin to murmur incomprehensible complaints.

"I'm not saying forever, dear, just the rest of the night. Tomorrow, I'm perfectly okay with you busting the door down. God, I'll help you push. Just let her cope with this on her own a bit more. Lily's always been strong. She'll tell us when she's ready. If we force something now, she might never figure it out for herself."

"I don't like this," Mum hissed.

"Me neither," agreed Dad glumly. "That's our baby girl in there. Whatever the hell James did to her, trust me, I want to know."

With a gasp, I fell back onto the pillows as I listened to their footsteps fade away.

Overwhelmed, I finally fell asleep.

"Lily, wake up."

"Mphh," I groaned in protest as I rolled to avoid the bony fingers poking in my side.

"Lily, get up," the voice persisted.

I pulled my pillow over my face. "Go away," I whined.

"C'mon, Lily."

"Leave me alone, Mum," I protested as I forced the pillow further into my face to block out the sound.

"It's not Mum, Lily. It's Petunia," the voice told me.

My groans stopped. "Tuney?" I asked in confusion.

"Yes," she answered.

I removed the pillow from my face. Petunia, in her hairless arm glory, was sitting on my bed. Her blonde hair was failing limp on her shoulders, and her forehead was wrinkled with worry.

"What are you doing here?" I asked dumbly, blinking up at her.

"Trying to wake you up, obviously," she replied snarkily. "Mum told me that I had to try to talk some sense into you since you wouldn't listen to her."

"Oh," I replied as I sat up in bed and pulled my knees to my chest. I removed the hair that was covering my face, and Petunia grimaced at what she saw.

"God, Lily, you look like someone ran you over with a bus."

"Imagine what I'd look like without the beauty sleep," I replied back glumly.

Petunia smacked my arm with a pointed look before she scooted in front of me. "Lily, tell me what happened."

Looking down at my lap, I took a deep breath as I tried to formulate some kind of answer. How did you explain that you were a monster?

As I looked up into her bright blue eyes, I could not find the words. I sighed in aggravation.

Petunia patted my knee awkwardly with two taps. "Tell me, Lily."

"Are you in love with Vernon?" I asked suddenly as I focused on her hand rather than her face.

"Yes," she answered after a moment's hesitation.

"How do you know?" I asked her.

"I dunno," she said with a shrug. "There was never a fairytale moment when I looked at him and suddenly I knew. There was no bell ringing or birds singing or fireworks or any of that rubbish. I couldn't tell you when it happened exactly. As you like to point out, Vernon's not exactly what I had imagined as my perfect guy," Petunia said with a pointed glare at me.

"Sorry," I squeaked.

Petunia sighed. "Yeah, well," she brushed off. "That doesn't matter to me as much as it used to. Vernon's a good bloke. He treats me right. He's loyal, and I can depend on him to be there for me completely. His family absolutely abhors me, but they'll get over it sooner or later."

"But how do you know?" I pressed.

"It's not a multiple choice test, Lily," Petunia replied. "Love's not black and white like that. I love Vernon. He makes me laugh, and he makes me feel safe." She paused to think for a few moments before speaking again. "I'd rather spend time with him than not. He tries to put my feelings first and doesn't let me get too crazy. Sure, he's not perfect, but he makes the effort to do right by me. He makes me feel loved."

"Really, Vernon?" I asked without being able to stop myself.

She rolled her eyes. "Stop making that face at me, freak," she laughed as she pushed my shoulder. "We can't choose who we fall in love with. A girl could do a lot worse than Vernon Dursley."

"But the mustache, Tuney," I insisted.

"Hey, I like the mustache," she told me.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, you do."

"It's dignified," Petunia claimed.

"Sure," I replied with a snarky laugh.

"You get used to it," she admitted finally. "It made snogging uncomfortable at first, though."

I groaned. "Mental images," I complained.

She whacked my arm again. "Shut it, Lily. Everybody's got their stuff that annoys the hell out of you," Petunia told me as she ran her hand up her arm and took a deep breath. "I think that love is putting up with all the crap and still not wanting to off the person the next day."

"Cheers," I replied.

She shrugged. "I'm a romantic," she quipped.

My eyes went back to examining my lap as any momentary normalcy faded away.

"Okay, stop stalling, Lily, and tell me why you spent all day crying in your room yesterday like a complete prat. Seriously, it's getting pathetic. You're annoying the hell out of me."

"I don't really want to talk about it," I muttered.

"Well, I do, and I'm older than you, so start talking," Petunia insisted.

"Fine, I was upset," I said finally as I crossed my arms across my chest.

"Well, obviously," she grumbled. "About what?" Petunia pressed.

"Nothing important."

"Lily, you start squawking, or I swear to God that I will let Mum up here with a lie detector."

"You wouldn't," I challenged.

"Oh, I so would," she replied. "Now, what the hell happened? Where is your freak boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I answered with a pang.

"You two broke up?"

"We were never going out," I stated glumly.

"Huh?"

"We were never really a couple," I reiterated, no longer caring that I had just ruined my secret. It was not important to me anymore.

"I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Petunia, I lied to you. I lied to you and Mum and Dad and anyone who has allegiance to the Queen. When you saw him in my window that morning, I was so angry with you because you were saying how I couldn't get a boyfriend. So, imagine my surprise when it wasn't some random bloke but someone I've known and despised for six years. He's just some prat from school who came over to harass me, and I told you he was my boyfriend because I was mad that you said I couldn't get one. This whole time I've been lying to you."

"Why?" she asked with a befuddled expression.

"I don't know!" I wailed. "Don't ask me to understand the crap logic behind my neural misfires. I'm an idiot, and I ruined everything."

"I'm not denying that, but what happened to cause the mental breakdown?" Petunia pressed.

"We had a huge fight."

"Are we talking back when we both wanted the last ice cream cone and it resulted in the Fiasco of '69?"

"Worse," I groaned as I flopped backwards onto my bed.

"Oh, dear," sighed Petunia as she lay down next to me. "That is bad."

"I know," I croaked.

With a sigh, I launched into detailed explanation of all the events that had occurred during the past two weeks. At first it was painful to recount the events, but once it had all left my mouth, I ended up feeling almost cathartic. It felt good to tell someone finally.

When I had finished, Petunia sucked in her cheeks as I could nearly see her brain whizzing at about eighty kilometers an hour. "So if you and James were only pretending to date this whole time, why did I always catch you two snogging?"

"He's a good snogger," I sighed. "He's a good everything," I added. "And I wanted you to think we were the perfect couple. He didn't have many objections to it. Though, by the end, neither did I," I realized.

"So why are you wallowing in your room with me when you could by having freak snog sessions with him?"

"Because I'm an idiot, and I broke up with him."

"Why the bloody hell would you do that?" Petunia demanded while she hit me in the shoulder.

"See? I told you. I'm an idiot," I remarked in defeat.

"You are an idiot," Petunia agreed with a nod.

"Oh, now I feel better," I groaned. "You're really good with the comforting, Tuney. I feel very consoled right now."

"In my books, you should feel lousy. God, Lily, have you ever even looked at James?"

I raised my eyebrow at her questioningly.

"Not like that, you perv," she continued. "I'm not Mum."

I almost chuckled, but the instinct died quickly.

"That boy loves you. I've never seen anything like it. The bloke would do anything for you, even when you're being a complete bitch to him in the mornings. How could you let him go? Better question, why the hell would you make him go?"

I paused for a second. "I was scared," I answered finally. "I've never dealt with this whole love thing before, and it made me so confused. Everything was jumbled. I couldn't tell what I was faking and what I was believing. Everything was happening too fast, and he was so sure of it all. I felt like I was the only one who was jumping without a parachute without ever actually getting on the plane in the first place. I was scared."

"You were scared?" she asked with a pointed glare.

"It's hard to believe, I know," I quipped bitterly.

"Hell, Lily, here I thought some freak tragedy thing had occurred, and this whole time you've just had intimacy issues. God, could you be any more predictable? It's the most obvious thing in the whole world. You love him."

"I do?" I asked timidly.

"Of course you do!" Petunia exclaimed. "Why else would you be sulking in your room for a whole day if you didn't love him? God, you're dense. I don't know why Mum and Dad are always going on and on about how smart you are. You're dumber than dry toast. Blimey, Lily, if anything was more obvious than his love for you, it's your love for him. You get all pathetic whenever he looks at you! Why do you think I've been so annoyed with your googly eyes and gagworthy giggling? You're in love!"

"I'm in love," I said to myself as I tried out the words. "I'm in love with James." Saying it aloud made me whole body tingle with warmth. "God, I'm in love with James Potter. Oh my God!"

"You said 'God,'" Petunia realized. "I haven't heard you say that in years." Suddenly, she flung her arms around me.

I nearly toppled over from her enthusiasm. I patted her back awkwardly. "Ahh, Petunia, oxygen becoming an issue here."

"Oh, sorry," she apologized. As she loosened her hold on me and pulled away, I noticed with a shock that tears were forming in her eyes.

"Petunia, what's the matter?" I asked worriedly. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying," she rebuked as she hastily rubbed her eyes with her sleeve. "I'm trying out a new mascara, and I think I'm allergic to it."

"Don't try to pull that crap on me, Loony Tunes," I told her. "I'm the liar here," I continued with a meek chuckle at my joke. "Tell me."

She ran her hand up her arm. "It's just been a long time since I've felt like I was talking to my sister and not a witch. You only say Merlin anymore. It's nice to hear you say 'God' like you used to. It's like you're still you."

"Yeah, well, it's hard to remember that you belong to another culture when you're freaking out," I replied lamely.

"Love will do that to you," Petunia replied with a smile.

"But, oh, God, Tuney, I just messed everything up. I said the most awful things to James!"

"I don't find that too hard to believe," she grumbled.

"Yes, I know, my foot lives in my mouth. What am I supposed to do now?"

"You love him?"

"Yes."

"And you want to be with him?"

"Yes."

"And have a real boyfriend this time?"

"For God's sake, yes, Petunia!"

"Then get the hell out of bed, Lily!" said Petunia forcefully as she pushed me off of my mattress fortress of solitude.

I landed on the ground with a thump. "Ow!" I complained as I rubbed what was soon to be an ostrich sized bruise on my fragile bum.

"It's about time you got off your bed."

"The internal bleeding in my left cheek does not agree with you," I muttered darkly.

"Stop whining, Lily," she hissed. "Or I'm not going to help you fix this."

"It can't be fixed!" I moaned. "It's all shattered into a million tiny pieces. I messed it all up. James probably won't ever talk to me anymore, not that I can blame him. I was such a cow to him. He must hate me now."

"Well, then you have to make him like you again."

"I can't!" I griped. "There's no use! It's hopeless!"

Petunia grabbed my arms and started shaking me. "Lily, snap out of it. You're being ridiculous, and frankly I want to slap you right now, even though I won't because your face is red enough as it is."

"Thanks," I replied quickly.

"No problem," she retorted. "You should start wearing foundation," she added before beginning her speech again. "You love a boy, Lily. It's not the end of the world. You just have to grow up and start accepting it."

"Doesn't change the fact that he wants nothing to do with me," I grumbled.

"So you have to make something happen, Lily. Sitting on your ass and wallowing in bed all day is not going to make anything better. If you want James back, you have to do it. Find him. Apologize. Tell him the truth."

"And what if he still rejects me?"

"Then you keep trying, Lily. If you love this boy, you don't give up. You do everything you can. You keep on trying until it happens. You are my little sister, so you better start acting like it."

I stared at Petunia with wide eyes. Finally, I found my voice. "That was kind of beautiful," I murmured in awe.

"Yeah, well, get off your ass because there's no way James is going to take you back when you're wearing that outfit," she said with a wrinkled nose as she frown in distaste at the crumpled jeans and gray t-shirt that I was still wearing from the other day. "I don't even need to ask if you've taken a shower lately because I can smell you from here, and the hair is just so….don't even get me started."

"Ahh, there's my sister. I was wondering if I was going to have to ask you your favorite type of jam in case someone had your under the Imperius curse."

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Freak speak. Don't worry about it," I replied with a wave of my hand.

"Oh, right. Okay then, freak."

"What time is it?" I asked suddenly.

"9:32," Petunia answered as she turned to look at my clock.

"What?" I shrieked. "What do you mean it's 9:32? How can it be 9:32?"

"Well, 9:31 just happened and 9:33 is almost-" Petunia began.

"Oh, God, I have to catch the train at 11:00," I realized. "Why didn't someone wake me up earlier?"

Petunia raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you forgetting the catatonic bed girl from twenty minutes ago, sis?"

"I haven't even packed yet! How am I going to be able to fix things with James before that?" I fretted as I paced around my room.

Petunia pushed me to the door. "Go shower. I'll pack for you."

"Thanks, Tuney," I said as I tried to hug her.

She pushed my arms out of the way. "Heartwarming crap later, Lily," she told me briskly. "I've got zip time to get you ready and hell of a lot of work to do if we're going to make James fall in love with you again. Go."

"Right, shower," I replied as I headed out the door. After a few steps, I turned around and flung my arms around her neck. "I love you, Tuney."

"You smell," she complained. "Go shower, freak."

I raced out the door.

Smiling to myself as I closed the bathroom door, I ripped off my t-shirt and threw it onto the floor. I had been wearing it for too long.

I quickly stepped into the shower and turned the water on. "Cold, cold, cold," I yelped as the water hit my back. Frantically as I hopped around the tiny tub to try to avoid the water, I turned the dial to as hot as I could make it. I shrieked as the water began to burn my back. "Hot!"

I moved the dial again, and the water turned to a more normal temperature. Slowing down my pace slightly to avoid any further personal injury, I took out my strawberry shampoo and started to wash the past two days away.

As soon as I turned the water off five minutes later, I began rushing again. With my wand, I quickly dried myself off as I brushed my teeth with my other hand, letting my magical and muggle sides freak out in harmony.

Throwing a towel around myself, I exited the bathroom and walked to my room as I dried my hair with my wand.

"Took you long enough," Petunia scolded me as she threw a pair of pants out of my closet and onto the floor. "God, don't you have anything good to wear?"

"Petunia, how many times do I have to tell you that most of this stuff is yours?" I asked with exasperation. "Besides, I just need a few essentials and my uniforms. We don't have enough time to color coordinate."

Petunia nodded as she reached into my closet and extracted a huge pile of clothes from it. "This should do," she said as she started removing hangers. I joined her at my bed.

"Oh, God, what happened to your hair?" she asked with horror.

"What?" I asked, petrified.

"Why is it so frizzy?"

I ran to a mirror. My hair had formed about a ten centimeter pouf around my entire head. "Oh, sweet Merlin's Jesus!" I yelped. "My spell must have backfired from all the humidity."

"You look like a poodle," Petunia said as she tried to control her laughter.

"Holy hell, what are we going to do?"

"You stay here and finish packing your stuff. I'll get the hair straightener ready. I put an outfit out for you to wear. Go!" she ordered as I scrambled to fill out her requests.

Quickly, I threw on the black skirt and blue tank top she had laid out for me. Without even noticing what clothes I was bringing, I stuffed different things into my trunk. I collected my books and threw those in, as well. In a haphazard fashion, I ran back and forth around my room as I found miscellaneous objects and stuffed them into my trunk.

As I was walking around my bed, I found James's jersey lying on the ground. Gingerly, I bent down and picked it up. I put it on over my tank top. I needed to wear it today.

Petunia came back about five minutes later.

"Help me close the trunk," I requested quickly as I got off my knees from my fruitless attempts at shoving my belongings down.

She walked over and frowned. "Why are you wearing that shirt? It's completely unflattering. You look like a curveless blob." She sat down next to me on top of the trunk.

"It's meaningful and thoughtful," I told her as we both shifted our weight around on the trunk. "He'll like it."

"He'd probably like a push-up bra more," she grumbled.

I sighed. "Just trust me on this, Tuney," I said.

The trunk closed, and I finally heard the top click down. Petunia locked the clasp as I grabbed my makeup bag.

"What about my stupid eyelashes?" I asked.

"Not enough time," she said quickly. "You'll have to do it as I do your hair," she said before grabbing my arm and dragging me into the bathroom. "Sit on the toilet," Petunia commanded briskly.

I complied as I began to open my makeup bag. I fumbled with the cap to my eyeliner as Petunia began to brush through my hair furiously.

"Oww," I hissed as she nearly took my scalp off. "You're killing me."

"Really not the time to moan and groan, Lily," she muttered through gritted teeth.

"Well, I can't exactly win the boy back if I'm dead."

"Unless he's into that sort of thing."

"Tuney!"

She brushed my hair even harder.

I winced again as I opened my compact and started applying eyeliner. A few seconds later, I felt the heat of the hair straightener on the side of my head.

Due to her haste, Petunia burned my ear as she pulled the straightener back.

"Bloody, freaking, oww!" I yelped as I flinched, causing me to poke myself in the eye with the eyeliner.

"This wouldn't hurt so much if you would stop fidgeting," she told me.

"Because we have so much time," I groaned as I took out my mascara brush.

Four new fresh burns later, my hair was finished. We hurried back to my room, and Petunia handed me my black high-heeled sandals to wear.

"How do you expect me to hurry in heels?" I asked in frustration.

"You're already wearing the manlady shirt. How do you expect to look appealing in torn up flip-flops?" she countered. "Besides, it'll reduce the height difference if you are forced to snog him into submission."

"Good point," I assented as I finished buckling the death contraptions to my feet and shakily rose.

With my wand, I shrunk my trunk and placed it in my school bag, which I swung over my shoulder. Then I grabbed Calypso's cage. "Time to go, Cal," I told her before turning to Petunia. "I must be forgetting something."

"We'll mail-um, owl, it to you," Petunia reassured me. "Go."

"What about my room? It's a mess!" I said as I looked around my room. It was like a disaster zone from a 6 point earthquake.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of it. You have to go! It's already a quarter past ten!"

My eyes bulged as I looked at the clock. The green digits gleamed rudely back at me. I ran over to Petunia and threw myself at her once more. "Thanks for everything, Petunia."

She hugged me briefly before pushing me away. "Go before you're too late! I'll tell Mum and Dad what happened."

"All of it?" I asked.

"The abridged version. I'm thinking it involves PMS and a dead family pet."

I nodded and rushed out the door. "You're the best sister ever!" I yelled over my shoulder.

"Tell me something I don't already know!" I heard her call out to me as I scampered down the stairs.

I headed straight to the kitchen cabinet, yanked it open, and grabbed a granola bar.

"Lily!" Mum exclaimed as I shoved my third bar into my face. Merlin, was I hungry.

I nearly choked as she slammed into me.

"Mum!" I said in a raspy voice as I tried to push her away.

She only wrapped her arms around me tighter. "Oh, Lily, you scared me so much! Don't you ever do that to me again!"

"I'll try not to," I promised.

"Never," she reiterated. "God, Lily, when I think-"

"Mum," I interrupted her. "As much as I would love to have a touching mother-daughter moment right now, I have a train to catch. Can we just agree that you know everything and that I should always listen to you?"

She deliberated for a brief moment. "Sounds good," she agreed finally. "But, first, where's James?"

I sighed. "It's a long story, Mum. Just know that I'm going to go talk to him and that everything will be okay, I hope."

She debated me testily with pursed lips. "I'm only agreeing to this because your father called me pushy and interfering last night," she grumbled. "I'm not pushing or interfering. Oh, and Lily, you should really change your shirt. It doesn't go with your outfit."

"Thanks," I replied with a smile as I finished the rest of the granola bar. "And thanks for sending Petunia to my room."

"I didn't," she said. "She's the one who said she wanted to see you."

I smiled hugely at her before giving her a big hug. "I love you, Mum," I told her as I glanced at the clock. "Gotta go!" I shrieked. "Petunia will fill you in on everything. See you next summer!"

"Don't you want me to drive you?"

"No time!" I told her. "I have to apparate."

I grabbed Calypso's cage and started sprinting out of the house.

"It better be a good explanation, young lady!" she called sternly after me.

"The best!" I assured her over my shoulder. "A whole meter of parchment! Bye, Mum!" I yelled as I opened the front door to the house and ran out.

My feet killing me, I continued darting down our sidewalk. I passed Dad, who was wearing his bathrobe as he bent down to fetch the paper. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek. "Bye, Dad! Off to school!"

"Have fun, Lils," he murmured sleepily. "Don't get into trouble," he added in the same hazy tone.

"Who, me?" I asked with a laugh as I continued my marathon.

Suddenly, he looked up at me as realization dawned on him. "Oi, Lily!" he exclaimed.

"No time, Dad!" I called back to him. "Love you!" I told him as I finally reached the part of the road that was safe for apparating. With a turn, I disappeared, leaving him to stare in his bathrobe at where I had been standing.

When I opened my eyes, I was outside the gate of King's Cross. Not even allowing myself a spare second to smile at my success, I quickly entered the station and began weaving through the hordes of people crowding around. I raced passed platforms as I kept my eyes peeled for a messy head of hair.

"Lily!" I heard someone call. "Lily!"

I stopped mid-step, and I nearly toppled into the couple standing in front of me. Calypso hooted unhappily as I jostled her cage.

Hestia pushed her way towards me. "Lily! Oh, Merlin! Lily!" she exclaimed loudly.

I did not wait for her to reach me. "Can't talk now, Hestia!"

Her smile disappeared, and her blue eyes blinked at me. "Oh, I understand," she voiced over the dim as she pushed her hair behind her ear.

"No!" I yelled out to her as I brushed past a large group of people in front of me. "It's not like that! I have to go find James Potter!"

"Why?" I heard her yell after me.

"I have to tell him I love him!" I called over my shoulder as I continued trudging through the platform.

"What!" she shrieked so loudly that I noticed several of the people in the station turned to stare at her. "Lily!"

"Lily!" I heard several more times in varying stages of extreme loudness.

Nearly chuckling to myself, I kept going until I finally arrived in front of the barrier at Platform 9 ¾. Frantically, I looked around as I tried to find James. Mentally, I hoped that he had not gone onto the train already. My eyes brushed over various muggles and wizards traveling through the station. I saw parents trying to control crying children, teenagers blushing in embarrassment about their overbearing parents, and busy Londoners going about their business.

Smehkaleen.

There he was. He was standing to my left by himself as he loaded his trunk onto a cart. I could make out the disarray of his hair, the leanness of his tall build, and the glint of his glasses in the sunlight. Practically on their own accord, my feet ran to him.

"James!" I breathed as I got closer to him.

He did not hear me. His eyes were still fixated on his luggage.

I strained to get closer to him. "James!" I exclaimed as I wobbled as my right heel hit a divot in the pavement.

James instinctually put his arms out to level me but retracted them before he touched me. His hazel eyes flashed on mine before he looked away.

"Heels," I explained to him meekly. "Petunia told me to wear them."

Without a word, he turned and started pushing his cart away.

All of the air left my lungs, and I felt like a deflated balloon. I bit my lip and followed him. "No, wait, James, please!" I called.

He stiffened momentarily, and I took advantage of his hesitation. I crossed in front of him to avoid any escape. "Don't run away."

James fidgeted in place.

"Please, I need to talk to you," I beseeched.

He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair.

I watched in fascination as I tried to memorize the motion. I waited for him to say something, but he just stood there with his eyes trained on the platform behind me. His face looked sallower than usual, and he had large bags underneath his eyes that rivaled my own. His white button-down shirt looked wrinkled. He seemed so sad. I felt warm at the thought that I could fix this.

"Thank you," I said sincerely, biting my lip as I thought of the best way to phrase my thoughts. Mentally, I cursed myself for not preparing laminated note cards. This kind of situation called for more preparation than I had given it. "I think, that is, I know, well, I'm pretty sure that..." I stuttered.

"If you came to give me my shirt back, I don't want it anymore," he murmured quietly.

I played with the hem of his jersey. "No, it's not that," I said.

"Then what is it?" he asked in a dead, flat voice that did not sound like his usual amiable tone.

"Well, you see," I began.

He twisted his hair in his hands. "I don't have time for this," he said dismissively before pushing his trolley past me.

I stuck my heel in front of the wheel and put Calypso's cage and my bag on top of his trolley. "Please, James, give me five minutes."

He eyed me icily. "I can't imagine that you would have anything left to say to me."

I stared up at his annoyed face. As much as I wanted this to have been at a different time in another way, I just needed him to know. "I love you," I said truthfully.

Whatever he had been expecting me to say, that had certainly not been it. His eyes grew wide behind his glasses, and his entire body shifted towards me as if it was subconsciously coaxing me to say it again. "What?" he asked, disbelief replacing the former hostility in his tone.

"I love you," I repeated. I took a shaky breath, and the same goofy smile that always appeared when I thought about loving James returned to my lips. "I'm in love with you, James."

He gazed at me with a dumbfounded expression for a few moments before he straightened up his back and took a calming breath. "Like you told your family before," he accused curtly.

"Yes!" I agreed. I was met with fire in his eyes. "I mean, no!" I corrected myself. "It's not like that. This is different than before."

"You made your feelings for me perfectly clear the other night."

"James, forget about that," I pleaded. "That wasn't me! Well, it wasn't the real me! Listen to what I'm telling you now."

"It doesn't work like that, Lily," he told me.

I could easily detect the anger bubbling up behind his words.

"You told me to leave. You told me you didn't want me. After everything I did for you, the lying, the mind games, everything, you said it wasn't real. It was your decision. Don't make up excuses now to let yourself feel better."

"I was being a prat," I exclaimed.

He snorted derisively.

I took a step closer to him, and he shifted back slightly. "Honestly, James, you spent two weeks with me at my house, and you haven't figured out that I am a complete and utter loon when it comes to you? Who else makes me so frazzled that I start inventing imaginary boyfriends for myself?"

He crossed his arms across his chest with an uncompromising look on his face as he jutted out his jaw. "That didn't stop you from exploiting me. Face it, Lily. You completely used me and then discarded me when you were through."

I swallowed. "I know," I admitted remorsefully. "But, James, you have to believe me when I say I am so sorry. I promise-"

"Nothing's changed," he cut me off abruptly. "No one knows. I'll tell Sirius that I was just playing a prank on him. You can go back to your perfect life, and no one will ever know what happened."

"We can't go back," I told him. "I can never go back."

"You seemed pretty convinced that you could."

"I told Petunia about us," I babbled quickly. "I told her everything. She knows that I lied and that you only pretended to be my boyfriend."

"Why would you do that?" he asked, looking at me for the first time all day.

Involuntarily, I smiled when I saw his eyes. The familiar touch of gold surrounded by green made me feel at home. "Because you're more important than some stupid sisterly competition. You're better than that. You deserve more than that. You mean more to me than that."

"How do I know that I can trust you?" he asked me simply.

"James, I've spent a whole day wallowing in my bed, crying my bloody eyes out over you. I nearly killed myself in these shoes as I ran to get to you. Half the people here must think I'm ruddy insane. Maybe I am. I was so stupid to think that I could just let you go. It was the biggest mistake of my life."

"Then why did you?"

I chuckled bleakly to myself. "Because I was scared and confused," I answered as I hated myself for such feeble reasoning. "I know it's no excuse, but it's the truth. You were just some annoying, pigheaded, arrogant git that pestered me at school. How was I supposed to know that you could make me feel this way? I've never been in love before. It's so new to me. It was so hard to hate you when you were being so wonderful and putting up with all my crap. I freaked out, and I pushed you away, okay? I'm sorry, James. I hate myself for hurting you."

I took a step closer to him, and looked up at his inscrutable eyes. "It was a mistake," I continued. "That doesn't mean that I don't love you, and it doesn't mean that I don't want you. It just means that it's physically killing me to be this close to you while you're in so much pain when I know that you don't have to be."

I hesitantly placed my fingertips on his face to bring his eyes closer to mine. My fingernail grazed the slight stubble that was forming along his jaw. I took a deep breath to fill my nostrils with his smell. "James, I love you, and I am willing to spend as much time as it takes to get you to see that and to win back your trust. I'll ask you out every day for six and a half years if that's what you want," I joked lamely. "I'll do whatever it takes to get you to be my boyfriend again, and not just at Hogwarts, but for as long as you'll have me."

He pulled my hands away from his face and took a step back. His eyes gazed so deeply into mine that I felt like he was X-raying me. "Is that all?" he asked in an eerily calm voice.

I tried to subdue the panic that was trembling across my spine. "Yes," I replied.

I closed my eyes I prepared myself for the worst. Forbearance flowed through me as I pictured the eminent rejection, laughter, dismissal, or even slap in the face. I deserved them all and more.

I opened my eyes again as I prepared myself for his judgment.

He swallowed, and I watched his Adam's apple bob with the movement. He stared at me with the most unfathomable expression. I could see his eyes whizzing with thoughts behind his glasses, but I had no idea what those thoughts were.

Finally, I grew tired of waiting. I grew tired of waiting for him to constantly be the one to make the first move. James always had to be the instigator. For once, I wanted to do it. It was time. I wanted James, and I was going to make it happen.

I strode over to him swiftly, stood up on my tiptoes, pulled his face down to meet mine, and kissed him.

For a fleeting second, I panicked as he did not respond. Then, he hesitantly opened his lips by the smallest of millimeters. Elated by this tiny victory, I began to move my lips purposefully against his. I launched my arms around his neck and started kissing him fervently. If this was my one way of getting him back, by Merlin I was going to snog him well.

My hands instinctually reached for his untidy hair, and I used it to pull his face even closer to mine. His hands grabbed my hips, and he pulled us together. Even with every crevice of his body pressed up against mine, I wanted him closer. He opened his mouth, and I stuck my tongue out to taste the mouth that I had missed so much. My heart beat with excitement as I realized that I was snogging James Potter. I could feel his lips start to turn up into a smile against my own grin.

Slowly, our lips became less frenzied and more lingering. Finally, I pulled my lips away from his and panted to regain my breath.

I slid my hands down from his hair to around his neck. "James, take me back," I pleaded with him.

He inhaled, and I felt the warm air on my cheek. "I shouldn't really," he told me softly. "You broke my heart. I shouldn't just let you back so easily. I don't know if I can trust you after everything that's happened." His fingers traced along my cheek thoughtfully.

My smile faltered. "James, please," I begged.

"You broke me," he whispered vulnerably. "I can't handle any more games, Lily," he said. "I won't do it to myself."

"James, I don't want to mess with you. I just want to be with you. I know what it's like now not to be with you, and I've realized that it's just not a feasible option for me. I love you too much."

He sighed for a long time. "Lily, you're it for me," he said finally. "Offer me even the slightest chance that this will work, and I'm yours. You know that. What other choice do I have?"

Unable to say anything because I was too filled with the sheer love I had for the boy in front of me to possibly integrate anything else into my head, I grabbed his face and kissed him once more.

"Lily?" he whispered back with a bit of mischief in his eyes, as though he had just stolen a million galleons from Gringotts undetected.

"James?"

"Thanks for kissing me and making everything better," James said.

I smiled warmly at him. "I thought you could use a break."

"Well, it was your fault. You're kind of an insufferable, idiotic, pigheaded git, love."

I smiled at him. "Nice use of adjectives," I complemented him.

He rolled back on his heels a bit as he ran a hand through his very messy hair. "Well, I had a great mentor."

"I love you," I told him.

"I knew you'd come around," he replied before he swooped down to kiss me.

My eyes fluttered closed as I reveled in the moment.

"James!" a voice called loudly. "James, dear!"

I could feel the protesting rumble in his chest as he started to pull away.

I groaned and tightened my hold on his hair. "No," I murmured against his lips.

"It's my mum," he told me as he kissed my lips for the last time.

I pulled back suddenly. "Your mum's here?" I asked in astonishment.

"Yeah," he told me with a shy smile as his hand reached back for his hair. "She and Dad came home from their mission last night. They're here to see me off to school. It is my last year and all. I'm surprised the Evans family isn't here somewhere giggling in the corner," he added with a look over his shoulder.

Rolling my eyes, I took his hand and clasped mine around it. "James, that's fantastic," I told him truthfully, realizing how important this was to him.

"I know," he admitted with a grin. He pulled away from me so that we were standing in a slightly more socially acceptable pose as his parents approached.

They were both about 50 years old with slight wrinkles around the eyes and gray streaks in their hair, though they had a certain vivaciousness to them. James's Dad's hair was the same jet black shade, while his Mum's was slightly lighter. Mrs. Potter had a beauty that seemed to make her glow. It was as if she radiated life. Mr. Potter had his arm secured around her shoulder and leaned down to kiss her temple in such a tender way as he leaned down to whisper something in her ear that it made me wonder if being charming was hereditary.

James's parents smiled hugely when they saw him. "James, son, the platform is going to leave soon. Can't have the Head Boy miss the train!" she joked teasingly, the pride evident in her tone.

"Our James? Causing trouble? Never!" laughed Mr. Potter.

I giggled along with the Potters, and I felt all of their eyes turn towards me. "Who is this, James?" Mrs. Potter asked softly as she eyed my hair with interest.

James opened his mouth, but I squeezed his hand with my left one to stop him.

Still holding onto James, I stuck out my right hand and offered it to Mrs. Potter.

"It's very nice to meet you," I told her as a huge smile took over my face. "My name is Lily Evans. I'm James's girlfriend."

_

* * *

_

A/N: hello, everyone! that was the end of boyfriend. i sincerely hope that you enjoyed it and were not left wanting. i tried really hard to kind of tie together a lot of the relationship issues that have existed throughout the story. i really wanted lily to emerge from this experience as a stronger person (not just as a girl with a boyfriend). on a personal level, i am actually quite proud of this story. i think it's probably my best (though i still really like hostage). i wrote chapters one through fourteen all in one summer. haha. it was very intense, but i think the challenge of a time limit was a lesson in itself.

again, thank you very much for reading. the response from this story has been overwhelming (on both sites that it has been on), and i cannot put into words how deeply i appreciate those who have been affected by this story in some way or another.

ultimately, i wanted to write a story about sisters. i have an older sister whom i love dearly, and there are days when i am just horrible to her. sure, there was a lot of james thrown in, but this story was always about petunia and lily for me.

that being said, i know that i have promised a sequel, and i am going to make good on that promise. the **_sequel, which will be called fiancée_**, is going to be my summer project. it won't be as long as boyfriend, but i hope it will be entertaining. i'm going to take some time off to recuperate before writing it, though. i have a few one-shot type things that i want to try before embarking on another full-fledged story. the best way to check out how i'm progressing is my twitter page, which i update frequently about my writing. i also enjoy responding to messages in my inbox. regardless, i'd check back in a few weeks to see what pops up!

finally, before i waste any more of your time, i'd just like to say a final thank you to everyone for reading. it's been a real pleasure.

always yours,

molly


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